14
Annie
Through the blur of the rain and my tears, I watch Pepper and Brandon walk away. I’ve messed everything up. I’ve hurt two people I care about, and Brandon’s angry at me. The thought of Brandon being upset with me feels unbearable.
“What was that all about?” Jack asks, walking up from behind me with an umbrella.
“Pepper’s disappointed that I’m not moving to Redwood City.”
“Fair enough. I’d throw a tantrum if I lost you.”
He runs a finger down the curve of my cheek. “Poor little thing. But I need you all for myself.”
“Do you think we could go sooner?” I ask, feeling a little desperate. I don’t think I can bear seeing Pepper and Brandon around the park. “Could we go tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” Jack looks uncomfortable. “Sorry, no, that’s impossible. Maybe we could go a few days earlier. But not tomorrow.”
“Yes, please,” I say a little desperately, still watching Brandon and Pepper walk home and wishing for all the world that I was going with them. How can I be longing for someone who doesn’t want me? I twist my moonstone ring and smile into the handsome face of my boyfriend.
“I’ll see what I can do,” he says. “For now, let’s get you out of the rain.”
***
The next afternoon I start packing. Jack is doing everything he can to move up our departure date. He warned me that he might be busy for the next few days getting things sorted out. I don’t mind, just as long as we leave soon.
I take all my clothes out of my closet and put them on my bed in a messy pile. I have no idea what to take on a sailing trip, but it feels good to be doing something.
Elinor peeks into my room.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m packing.”
“I thought you were leaving in a couple of weeks.”
“We might leave sooner.”
“Um . . . as your boss, you should give me two weeks’ notice.”
“What about as my sister?”
“As a sister, I need even more notice. Why the rush?” Elinor asks.
“Don’t you see? If I’m going to leave, I might as well leave right away.”
“No, I don’t see that,” she says, eyebrow raised.
“Brandon will certainly be glad to see me gone,” I say, sitting down on the floor. “He told me to stay away from him and Pepper.”
Elinor sits down next to me. “Are you sure?” she asks.
“Well maybe that’s not what he said, but that’s what he meant. And how am I supposed to not be friends with them?”
“I heard about Pepper’s outburst in the lobby,” says Elinor. “She’s very attached to you.”
“And I’m attached to her. I don’t see why Brandon won’t let us be friends.”
“Because it hurts too much. You have to know that he’s in love with you.”
“Don’t say that! It’s not true . . . he hates me.” Elinor gives me a look. “Okay, maybe he doesn’t hate me. But he disapproves of me, which feels worse.”
“Are you sure you don’t have some feelings for him?”
“It doesn’t matter if I do. Brandon has zero interest in me. I pretty much told him yesterday that I loved him, and he just said something inane about that not being a good idea.”
“Really? I could have sworn that he was devoted to you.”
“Well, he’s not. You should have seen his face.
I think he despises me.” I shed a few more tears, then blow my nose.
“Do you know who is devoted to me? Jack. Jack loves me. He tells me he loves me every day. He bought me a car. He wants to introduce me to his family. The man is objectively the best-looking man on the planet. Of course I love him. I’ll get over Brandon. Once I’m away, it will all be clear.”
“Is that fair to Jack? Should you be going away with him when you’re in love with someone else?”
“Mom said something to me the other day that has stuck with me. She said falling in love isn’t just about being swept up in a moment, it’s about finding someone who shares your values and committing to that person.
Jack . . . well, we have a lot in common, and he’s committed to me. Brandon . . . well, he’s not.”
“I don’t know . . . the guy bought Norland Park for you.”
“He did not!” I put my face in my hands to shield my tears. “He doesn’t love me. I heard him. He didn’t know I was there, and he told Pepper that I’m not good enough for him and he doesn’t want to date me.”
“That doesn’t sound like Brandon.”
“Well, I’m not good enough for him. That’s the truth.” And then my tears fully overtake me. Elinor wraps her arms around me and lets me cry. When I’ve calmed down some, she says, “Maybe it’s just that I don’t want to see you leave.”
“But you have Edward.”
“I do . . .” My sister says with a shy smile. “And he’s really great, but he’s not my little sister. I’ll miss you.” She puts her hand over mine.
“I’ll miss you too.”
“Don’t go.” Elinor pleads. I give her a fierce hug, but I’ve made up my mind. I am going with Jack. There’s only one person who could get me to stay. And he will never ask. Brandon’s probably counting down the days.
***
The next day Jack is still busy doing something important to get ready for our trip. He promises we can go as soon as Monday. That means I have only a couple of days to get ready. I’m going around the park refreshing the flowerboxes when Pepper finds me.
“Want to go kayaking with my dad and me?” she asks with an anxious smile.
I really don’t have time for an outing; I have so much to do before I leave.
But there’s no way I’m going to say no to Pepper.
She could ask me if I wanted to shave my head, and I would say yes. I feel so guilty where she’s concerned.
“That sounds wonderful,” I say as I deadhead the flowers. “Are you sure your dad’s okay with me coming?”
“Yeah, it was his idea. He said you’re leaving soon, and we should do something to say goodbye.”
“I . . . think that’s a really good idea. When were you thinking?”
“Can you go tomorrow? You don’t normally have concerts on Saturday, do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Great, so we’ll have plenty of time.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to check with your dad.” I take out my phone and text Brandon.
Annie
Are you really okay with me going kayaking with you tomorrow?
Brandon
Yes. It was my idea. This is not a parent trap. I think it will help Pepper.
Annie
Then I’m in
Brandon
Good.
It’s not much, but that one word makes me feel so much lighter. Something in my chest loosens. Brandon’s not angry at me anymore. We’re going kayaking tomorrow. All is right in the world.
“What did he say?” Pepper asks with a hopeful look in her eye. I realize I’m smiling.
“It’s all good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I want to say more. I want to apologize for leaving. I want to tell her that I don’t really want to leave. And as true as that all is, I know that would only make things harder for them both. So all I say is, “I really hope we see some otters.”
***
The water is smooth and silky, reflecting the overcast sky, gray with occasional ribbons of blue. The perfect day for sea kayaking.
Pepper insisted that we share a kayak, and while I want to look back at Brandon, I’m carefully keeping my paddle in sync with hers.
She has a decent stroke for a ten-year-old.
Since last summer, we’ve gone kayaking together several times.
It makes no sense that we haven’t had a good otter sighting.
They are usually easily spotted in this cove.
Often you can see them when walking on the beach.
But the three of us have had bad luck. I’m certain we’ve seen a few.
But Brandon teasing me that it was kelp is understandable.
The otters were so far off, it really was hard to tell.
“Oh, oh, oh!” Pepper shouts. “I see some over there.” She points to her left.
Our luck has changed. “It’s a whole raft of otters!” She turns back to me with a huge smile. Leave it to Pepper to know the proper collective noun for sea otters. There are so many, it could be called a flotilla.
I turn back to tell Brandon. He’s surprisingly close. I point to the otters now only about a school bus away. “Don’t even try to tell me it’s kelp.”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
“They’re sooo cute,” Pepper coos in a slight baby voice.
I look through the binoculars Brandon gave me for my birthday.
“Oh. I can see their shiny noses and their whiskers. Why are they so cute?” Now I’m baby talking.
It might be physically impossible to talk in a normal voice about these creatures.
They are so impossibly adorable. “Here Pepper, you need to see their faces.” I carefully hand Pepper the binoculars, placing the strap over her neck.
It takes her a minute to get used to them, especially with her glasses.
“I see them!” she exclaims. “Oh, and one is eating a mussel. You are just the cutest things ever!” Pepper says to the otters, joining me in the baby talk.
Brandon quietly eases his kayak right next to ours.
“Hi,” I whisper. “This is exciting!”
“Yes,” he says with a soft smile. It feels a little like old times. Maybe not all is lost.
“Want to use the binoculars?” I ask.
“I’m good.”
“You say that only because you haven’t seen them up close. Those are some powerful binoculars you gave me. You can see the water droplets on their whiskers.”
“I tried to get you the best ones. You should take them on your sailing trip.” I’m thrown that he’s bringing it up.
“Oh yeah . . . that’s a good idea.”
“When are you leaving?” he asks.
“Monday or Tuesday at the latest.”
Brandon nods. His face shows no emotion.
“He’s a lucky guy. I hope he’s worthy of you.” I can’t decide if that’s sweet of him to say or just obnoxious.
“Daddy, you’ve got to try the binoculars!”
“Okay, if you insist.” Pepper passes the binoculars to me.
As I hand them to him, he places his hand on mine.
I keep my hand there a moment longer. So does he.
Is this on purpose? It feels on purpose.
I want it to be on purpose. I sense the slightest pressure from his hand.
My eyes flick from our hands to his face.
Brandon’s watching me watch him. I find it hard to breathe.
He takes the binoculars and is suddenly very busy scanning the water.
In front of me, Pepper is still chattering about the otters. “There are two more! And I think that one is a baby. Oh, it’s soooo cute.” She turns back and looks at me. “Annie! You are so quiet. Aren’t you excited?”
“Oh, I’m excited,” I reply with only the slightest wobble in my voice. “We finally saw our otters.”
“I’m not so sure,” Brandon says, still looking through the binoculars. “Looks like kelp to me.”
“Stop it!” I playfully nudge his arm, inadvertently pushing his kayak away from us. “That is definitely a raft of otters.”
“Dad! Those are obviously otters!” Pepper says. “They’re so close you don’t need binoculars”
“I know,” Brandon says, lowering the binoculars and smiling. “Those are definitely otters. And they’re weally cute.”
“Brandon James, did you just baby talk?”
“Not possible.”
“I think you did.”
“You are free to think what you will, but I didn’t baby talk.” He paddles off away from us.
“Should we get him?” I ask Pepper.
“Game on!”
We paddle as hard as we can to catch up with Brandon, who is leisurely paddling ahead of us in the general direction of the otters. When we reach him, I backpaddle hard so we turn around abruptly. “Now!” I say.
Pepper angles her paddle just right so that a huge spray hits Brandon. Pepper and I are both laughing maniacally; we sound like a couple of cartoon villains. We’re laughing too hard to paddle very fast, which is a tactical error.
“Remember, you started this!” Brandon calls after us.
We paddle as fast as we can, but it’s not fast enough.
Almost immediately he’s right next to us and showing no mercy.
He skillfully drenches both of us with two well executed splashes.
All three of us are laughing and shouting and completely wet.
When we begin to paddle back to shore, the sun finally breaks through the clouds, warming our bare arms and sending a trail of dancing light on the Pacific.
“Thanks for this,” I tell Brandon as he helps me drag my kayak up from the water. “I didn’t want to leave on a bad note.” He nods seriously.
“Yeah, well, you got to see your otters, and I got a New Year’s Eve prediction right.
” The mention of New Year’s Eve predictions makes me think of the kiss prediction.
I guess there’s no chance for that one. As if to rub that in my face, he has just removed his life jacket and takes off his wet shirt.
I can’t look away. Brandon might have the most beautiful back in the world.
I watch the muscles slowly ripple, like waves before they hit the shore.
He turns around, and I’m still staring. I’ve always been more into brains than brawn, more interested in soulful eyes than a sixpack.
But I can’t help but appreciate Brandon’s sculpted torso.
Brandon quirks an eyebrow at me, and I realize I’m caught. He saw me staring. And Pepper is watching both of us and . . . smiling—and, if I know Pepper, scheming.