10. Chapter 10
We ran as fast as our legs could take us after we left the men to be consumed by the forest, pushing ourselves to our limits, knowing we had to put as much distance between us and them as possible.
It was only a matter of time until the other mainland men came searching and found their fellow soldiers succumbed to the forest. Until they were a victim of it too.
And when they did not return, there was no doubt that those who did not enter the forest would realize their comrades were missing, that something was amiss.
And with the mainland men's ignorance of the Alesi, it was guaranteed that the blame for what happened to their men would be cast on us. They were determined to damn the Mother Blessed, to find any reason to further the reasoning for their quest to destroy Rida, to destroy us.
Our only hope was that they would not make it out of the Alesi, finding themselves lost amongst the forest as the trees did their work to defend itself, meeting the same fate as the rest of them did.
I ached as I ran, more exhausted with each step, the effort from coaxing the roots in Sorrel paired with restless sleep settling deep within me.
The stiff scars on my hands throbbed as I rubbed them, and I could still feel the tingling of the chill that had pushed its way into me traveling through my veins.
I almost thought I heard the sound of horses' hooves and men's shouts from behind us again as we ran, nerves and exhaustion getting the better of me.
I had never been inside of the Alesi when I was drained of power, and the effects it had on me in such a state were unknown, making the urge to look over my shoulder unbearable as we made our way through the deepest parts of the forest, the nimids thick and standing tall.
We continued through the Alesi throughout the day, until we were further south than I had ever been in my life, which still wasn't very far, considering we were nowhere near the bend of the river that marked the middle of Wellea.
Still, I took it in, noting the small differences of the forest here—how nimids were densely packed, growing in clusters that weaved in and out of one another, their branches braiding above us.
I studied the way the light shone through them as we came upon a small stream that ran off the river, the way light danced in the water as we rested at its bank.
"Do you think they will follow us?" Malik asked as he crouched down, washing his hands in the river.
I shrugged at his question, my mind going back to the mainland man's words, at the thought of Malik being invited alongside them, at what they wanted from him.
I sat down next to him, removing my shoes and dipping my feet in the water, letting the cold water numb my aching soles. The movement of the stream over my feet was calming, meditative even, and together we sat there, watching as the forest bent with the breeze.
What could the mainland king want with Malik? Was it his familiarity with Wellea? With me? What had they promised him? What did he give up by rebelling and choosing to warn me instead?
I laid back, focusing instead on the cold of the water and the warmth of the sun as it slowly started to set, letting them ground me after such an encounter, the reality of the strain this journey would take settling in.
Already I was feeling fatigued from the stress of getting to Rida in time, from the fear of the mainland men tracking us down, and the weariness that came from my strained connection with Yllsora.
I would have to be careful, needing to save my strength for when we arrived to Rida, as I still did not know how to stop the rot.
So much plagued my mind, my body heavy with all it was carrying.
"What are you thinking?" Malik asked.
At the sound of his voice, I kept my eyes closed, willing my mind to slow.
Everything, all of it, was too much. It was enough knowing we had to get to Rida, but now with the mainland men on our trail, the threat of them being able to find us at any moment, and their fearlessness of the Alesi weighed on me.
"Too many things," I answered, clenching my hands into fists at my sides, hoping to work some of the tension out.
The movement must have caught Malik's eye, as I felt him touch the back of my hand, tracing the scars that now littered my skin.
"Is this what happens when you connect with the roots now?"
I opened my eyes to find him studying me as I lay there, exhaustion lighting my eyes as I met his.
I nodded. "Yes, for some time now."
Tension lined his eyes and mouth, and just looking at him then, I could see he was blaming himself for what I had to do back in Sorrel, thinking that he did not do enough to stop me from having to use my powers, in turn hurting myself.
"It was worth it," I assured him. "I'm used to it. Plus, Therian had never really seen me use my powers like that before. He needed his ego bruised."
A small smile lit up Malik's face. "Even I hadn't seen that before. You are a force to be reckoned with, Allyra Alsunia."
I ducked my head at the praise, unsure of how to respond as Malik continued,
"I'm sorry you had to see that side of me with Therian. But I could not just stand by and let him say what he was saying." He pushed his hand through his hair as he spoke, a nervous tick he had carried through his life from childhood.
I smiled at the movement; seeing something so familiar warming me from the inside out. "Growing up, everyone said you would become a great fighter. I finally got to see those statements come to life."
Malik scoffed. "Men say a lot of things when they want a ruler to be happy. I am no better at swordsmanship than any other man."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," I said. "Did the men in Uscal compliment your hair so you wouldn't swipe your sword at them?"
"I was not their ruler." Malik chuckled. "But I see you are just as much of a farceur as you were all those years ago."
I turned my head, hiding my smile. It had been a long while since I felt safe enough to make light of anything, and even with all the strife Malik had caused me, all the anger I still felt, and everything we now faced, he was still the only one who could make me laugh the same way we did as children.
"I'm only like this when I'm with you," I admitted as I looked back at him.
Malik smiled faintly in return, as if he was happy some part of me still belonged to him after all this time. And how could I not?
"I'm glad I still have some influence," he said.
A sad smile painted my face at his words, because no matter how much I wished it to not be, so much of me still belonged to him.
Over the years, I had made the efforts to build anew, to find a new version of myself, but still found myself coming back to all those parts of me that I had built with Malik.
I tried to not let the frustration build, that even after all this time, all the effort I had made was all for naught, and that now, sitting here with Malik, that girl I had been was coming back with little effort.
It was as if she was the true me, and whoever I had been for the last ten years a facade, a mask I wore, and now could easily remove.
Maybe it was because in just the couple of days since he had returned, he had protected me in a way I hadn't been protected in years, and he had done so as if it was as easy as breathing, while Therian had acted like it was a burden, like Sorrel and I were his personal damnation.
"Thank you," I whispered, surrendering myself to the ache that came along with acknowledging just how much I had endured on my own while Malik was gone and how much he was already saving me.
"For what?" Malik asked, leaning back to lie next to me. I did my best to ignore his proximity, how warm he felt next to me against the cold that surrounded us, instead focusing on the sky above as I answered.
"For defending me without a second thought these past two days."
Malik looked to the sky alongside me, the pair of us watching the clouds pass us by, the eir finding their homes in the trees as the sun continued to set.
"I would do anything for you. You should know that."
"Even after all this time?" I asked. "What if I had become a terrible person? What if I was no longer someone who was worth defending?"
Malik finally looked at me then, quirking an eyebrow at me. "Are you a terrible person, Allyra?" he asked.
I did not know how to answer his question.
A part of me felt as if I had betrayed Malik with my marriage to Therian, the shock of the news no doubt still fresh in his mind.
He had not mentioned it, but the knowledge of it was there in the silence that hung between us, so many unsaid words that stacked up over the years, unable to find their way out, the both of us fearful of saying the wrong thing.
What do you say to someone who used to be so easy to talk to, but now every word was a risk, no telling how they would react?
"It depends. Do you not think of me differently for marrying another man?"
Malik looked away from me then, his throat bobbing with a swallow. I knew it had bothered him, seeing the ring on my finger and me at the head of the table next to someone who wasn't him.
"I'm sure you had your reasons."
And I did.
A few years had passed, and even with all my trying, things in Sorrel had become worse with each day, and were past the point of saving with our current resources.
My father saw Sorrel's distress and the instability and had arranged my marriage to Therian in hopes of restoring the future of our village, as marrying Therian meant gaining access to resources from the mainland.
So, at twenty-two, I married Therian, and Sorrel found the stability it so desperately needed with the mainland's aid.
My wedding day haunted me—the longing I felt for Malik and the life we were supposed to live together, the future that was ripped from my hands, all mocked me that day. I tried not to think about it if I could help it.
And yet —
"Tell me about it," was all Malik requested.
So, I did.
I reached my hand out to rest in the stream, letting the cool water run through my fingers as I told Malik of the day my father announced to the village that I was to be wed, like it was a celebration, and not my entire life being altered with just a few spoken words.
I told him of the whirlwind of the few days before our wedding, how I wasn't involved in anything that had to do with the ceremony or the dinner following, yet somehow found myself pulled from place to place over those three days.
I watched Malik's face tighten for only a moment when I described my dress, as it was the only thing I liked about the day, the only thing I really had a say in.
The dress was not in the usual style most other women wore—usually something heavy, more modest, that covered them from wrist to neck.
Mine was sheer and caught in the wind, only overlayed lace keeping it modest.
Malik smiled softly as I described the dress, waving my hands around my body in a pantomime of its silhouette. I was heartbroken at the thought of that dress being wasted on such a day, now only existing tucked into the back of my closet, never to be used again.
"I'm sure you looked beautiful," Malik said.
My heart skipped at his words, knowing what was on both our minds. I could feel the melancholy between us for something we were both so close to having but had been ripped away too soon.
I did not want to admit it, but I did feel beautiful in that dress, like maybe I could deal with marrying Therian.
Though that feeling didn't last long. The moment I was presented to Therian, his bored gaze washed away any confidence I had, making the attention that was on me suffocating.
I suddenly felt like a prize and a spectacle, and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to run away.
Worse, I think part of me was still expecting to see Malik standing in front of the altar when I turned the corner, and I was jolted out of the daydream when I saw Therian's short blonde hair instead.
I didn't dare tell Malik, as part of me still felt guilty about it, like I was wronging Therian in some way. Not that he would have cared. I could have gone off and done anything with anyone and it wouldn't have changed the fact that he had gotten what he wanted—a title. I was just a bonus.
Even so, as time went on, I tried to connect with Therian the way I did with Malik, but it became clear that our marriage was purely a political one for him, with no love to be found.
He protected me in the most basic sense and made sure I was taken care of, yes, but beyond that, my life became a lonely one.
Sitting there with Malik, I was almost able to pretend none of it had happened. Like everything had just been a dream—that the Black Shroud was just a mirage and that Malik and I were young again, hopeful for the future and everything that might lie within it.
But the sound of a light pitch of wind through stone snapped me out of that dream, and I sat up, the song familiar to my ears.
Though this was more disjointed than I was used to, I recognized it.
Such a sound only came from one place, and there, deep in the forest, was the last place I expected to hear it.
I searched for the direction the sound was coming from, my eyes flittering across the stream, but found nothing but overgrown brush covering what used to be a walking path.
"What is it?" Malik asked when he noticed that my attention had shifted elsewhere.
The overgrowth moved in the breeze once more, revealing the recognizable stone structure across the stream. A temple, deep in the forest. Yet cracks marred this one, sections of its walls lay in heaps all over the ground, a whisper of what it once used to be.
My heart tightened as I focused on the structure through the overgrown foliage, fearful for what I knew what else lay beyond it.
I got up from my spot near the stream and quickly slipped my shoes back on before walking over the flat stones that ran across the water.
As I landed on the other side of the stream, I noticed, like most things in winter, everything here was devoid of life, yet this was different. No snow lay here, the ground dark and incinerated and dusted with ash, as if life hadn't flourished here in a long while.
The longer I stood on the scorched earth, and the longer I felt the absence of life beneath my feet, I knew what we had stumbled upon.