22. Chapter 22
Islipped out of the tent while Malik's men distracted him, my destination already in mind.
My mind reeled as I walked, the feel of Malik's hand still seared into the skin of my cheek.
I was desperate for a moment of reprieve, for a moment to catch my breath.
I kept to the outskirts of the tents as I walked, the soft murmurs of the camp filling the air as I passed.
A copse of trees just outside camp seemed to beckon me, their limbs sighing in the icy wind that caressed my cheeks.
I followed their call, slipping just outside the edge of the camp and moving deeper into the trees until I found myself standing at their feet, the quiet here so different from the liveliness of the camp.
I sunk into the divot created by the large centennial tree in the center, allowing myself to soak in the silence and the peace with no preening eyes watching my every move. I had gotten too used to blending into the background, and being thrust to the center was too much, a shock to my system.
For the first time during this journey, I found myself missing Sorrel and the familiarity it held.
I missed the quiet the village would bring, the predictability of each day.
Living in such a remote part of Wellea had its challenges, yet my heart ached as I sat in that grouping of trees, for I was unsure if I would ever return home.
Even with all of the uncertainty, the stillness of the forest soothed me, and in that moment I was grateful, for I had found so little of it throughout our journey through the Alesi.
And as the trees bent around me, I let my mind empty and my limbs become heavy, the exhaustion of our trek weighing on me.
But even with my exhaustion, it was there, cradled by Yllsora, that I remembered why I had dedicated my life to becoming a Mother Blessed, why I had sacrificed everything for this connection with Yllsora—it was for this reason, this feeling of unending belonging, of safety, even if such feelings were long lost ever since the Shroud.
Opening my eyes, I looked at the base of the centennial tree I sat against, pressing my hand to its trunk in surrender, the movement second nature, as easy as breathing.
I never expected to hear from the Mother again, knowing that hearing the Mother in Sorrel was happenstance, and that hearing her in my dream was just a warning.
But the part of me who had dedicated my life to the Mother couldn't help but hope to hear from her once again, to get some answers, some reprieve about the quest she had sent me on.
The further I traveled from Sorrel and the closer to Rida we got, the more I began to wonder about all we had been taught about the Mother and the truth of it all.
I thought of Malik's men's words and wondered if I had been led astray, with nothing to tell me otherwise.
Eir surrounded the tree I sat in front of, a sign of the Divine, something that once excited me, but now I looked at them indifferently, drained by the uncertainty of my duty to the Mother.
I wanted nothing but to rest. To not feel such responsibility.
To get to Rida and save the Mother Blessed and the Divine power that keeps Yllsora alive.
And then to forget all this happened, and live my life quietly.
You have questions, doubts, Allyra, I heard the Mother say then, her voice no longer the light singsong it was in Sorrel, but a weak whisper of someone with little strength.
I understand why you wonder the things you do.
You must know that day in Sorrel, I took a risk speaking to you as I did.
But I needed to ensure Yllsora's safety. I thank you for answering my call.
The sound of the Mother's voice did not bring the comfort it once did, though.
Now, it brought only surprise and annoyance.
She had been silent this entire journey, no guidance offered, while that cloaked voice had been a loud, consistent reminder in my ear.
I knew little of the other Divine in the Caelium, did not know if they often visited each other's worlds, if what I had been experiencing was normal.
Even if it was, I could not help but feel a sting of anger and exhaustion from all the strife this journey had brought us, and everything that had been set on the Mother Blessed's shoulders.
There are risks with everything the Divine do, even when creating worlds.
But the moment I created Yllsora and put the first Mother Blessed on her soil, I knew it was not a mistake, that this was how it was meant to be and that this world was no longer mine, but yours.
It is the Mother Blessed who keep Yllsora alive, and for that, I am grateful.
And yet, the only thing I could think of was how the Mother Blessed had struggled to do even that ever since the Shroud, our villages and people no longer trusting in us as they once did.
Your struggles are not your fault. It is because of Myaella, another Divine, reaching for this world that the Mother Blessed have struggled. It is Myaella who is threatening all that you do.
I tensed at the sound of the name, so familiar yet new.
Myaella…I thought. My…ael…la…I heard in my mind.
The curse that had been haunting me the entire journey south, one spoken by the revelers, something that I would have to contend with once we arrived at Rida.
But it was not a curse at all, it turned out, but another Divine, interfering with the Mother's world, just as I had thought. A Divine with their own agenda.
I wish everything could be as it once was, but Myaella will not allow for that.
The same happened in the Caelium; my home was destroyed because of her, and now she has followed me here.
But I cannot help you. Someone of this world must save Rida, someone whose connection to Yllsora transcends all others.
Someone who knows this world even better than I do.
I trembled at her words, the meaning of them clear before she spoke it.
Throughout all my life, I had always known my connection with Yllsora went deeper than being a Mother Blessed, that there was something else to it that I could not quite understand, something that I wasn't meant to understand until it was the right time.
You are the closest thing to the Divine that this world has, the Mother said.
Roots rose from the ground then, my body tensing and preparing for their attack, yet this time the roots caressed me, slowly winding up my arms, brushing over my skin like new fabric—soft, gentle, smooth.
When you were born, the moon was at its highest in the sky, the tide at its tallest. When I created this world with a drop of my power at Yllsora's center, I knew I needed someone here to take care of my creation, to keep Divinity alive where I could not walk.
So, I gave you a drop of my Divinity. Eventually, there will be more of those who can commune with me like you can, but for now, it is just you, Allyra.
That is why it is you who must stop the mainland men, who must stop Myaella, who must save Rida.
I sat still as the weight of her words sunk into me and drew in a deep breath.
Everything in my life finally made sense in that moment—why I could feel Yllsora as close as my own heartbeat when so many could not, why I could feel the rot slowly spreading across our world and why it affected me as much as it did.
A rustle from behind me pulled my attention away from the Mother for just a moment, a muffled gasp of surprise leaving my mouth as my eyes darted to the thicket that separated me from the camp.
I saw nothing but the glow of the setting sun on the horizon through the thick clouds, the snow beginning to fall as night settled in.
The wind picked up and I shivered, my senses now heightened even more with the revelation from the Mother, and I couldn't shake the prickling sensation that someone, or something, had been watching me.
Something was shifting again, and quickly.
Go now, Allyra, the Mother said to me. Do what must be done, protect the Mother Blessed. Do it quickly. Do it well. But be careful, there are foes everywhere, even where you might not think to look.
I watched as the trees swayed once more, signaling the departure of the Mother as the snow continued to fall in earnest. My mind swirled with everything she had said, the implications of it all weighing heavily on me.
Yet I felt oddly calm and at peace, as if her words were exactly what I had needed.
There was much to be done to restore Yllsora to what it had once been, and sitting there in front of that tree on the outskirts of Malik's camp, I knew that once Rida was saved, our real work would only just be beginning.
That even if we did save Rida, we would still have to contend with the men who vied for our power.
And even if we did change their minds, I knew the whims of men were fickle.
Just a few days in this camp had taught me that.
I stood then, dusting the snow off my knees, bracing myself for what lay ahead, for as I walked back through the camp, keeping to the shadows, the whispers and jeers I heard only made the danger the Mother spoke of clearer.