Bonus Scene Maeve
BONUS SCENE
MAEVE
I’m sitting on the countertop of the bathroom, hands resting low on my stomach, like I could will a child into existence by wanting it hard enough.
It’d been a long road before: too many appointments, too many quiet drives home, too many hopeful mornings, and just too many everything.
I hear the bedroom door open and click shut; my time for self-wallowing has come to an end.
“Baby girl,” JW voice is low, careful. He always is when it comes to this. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts.
“You don’t have to use that voice with me; I’m okay. Promise.” He crowds in, hands cupping my cheeks, thick thighs spreading my legs open, and with me only wearing a bra and panties, it makes it easy for JW to situate himself.
“What voice?” he asks.
“The one where you’re trying to make sure I’m not breaking a part at the seams,” I say softly.
My big, burly husband can’t handle the fact that he can’t fix this; he doesn’t take it out on me, the house, or our two girls.
He usually stays strong, puts on a brave face, and when the next day rolls around, throws himself into the most physical labor her can find on the ranch.
“I’m not worried about you falling apart, baby girl. I’m worried about you carrying it all alone.” My breath catches, seeing the turmoil swirling behind his sapphire blue eyes.
“You’d never let me,” I say on a whisper.
“Not for lack of trying,” he mutters, and it pulls a small smile from me. “We don’t have to do this again. We’ve got our girls. Hannah and Marie are everything.”
“I know, god do I know that.” I think about Hannah’s laugh, Marie’s tiny hand wrapped around my finger. The way our house is already so full of life, it sometimes feels like it might burst. But still. “I just,” I swallow. “I want to give you a son.
“You don’t owe me that, Maeve.” JW pulls back, brows tightening, and the muscle in his jaw tics.
“I know I don’t. That’s not what this is.” I state at the ready. I’ve played this conversation in my head over and over again.
“Then what is it?” His head dips. He’s trying to read what me.
“It’s this feeling that we’re not done yet.” I reach for his hand that’s cupping my cheek, guiding it gently to my lower stomach. JW goes still, completely and totally still.
“Yeah, I get that. Feels like someone’s missing.” That’s what it is, exactly what it is.
“One more try.” I let out a shaky breath. “That’s all I’m asking. One last time.” Joseph studies my face, memorizing it, weighing everything that’s currently running through me—hope, fear, love, exhaustion. He does what JW always does, he leans in and kisses me.
Slow.
Deep.
Certain.
“Then we do it,” he says, pulling back, keeping one hand on my cheek and the other on my stomach.
“You ready for it all over again. The treatments. The waiting. The whole damn thing.” JW takes a moment, letting his words sink in.
“If you’re going through it, I’m right there with you. Every damn step.”
“Yes, daddy.” I smile, that word always does something to him, and that something is me.
“It’s a good thing the girls are at the main house, baby girl.” His hand dips lower, sliding beneath the cotton of my panties, fingers grazing my clit, and all I can do is hold one while my daddy takes me.
A few months later
A flood of déjà vu hits my senses: the clinic, the sterility, it’s all too familiar.
The exam room table I’m currently horizontal on makes a crinkling noise with every move I make.
Fine, let’s call a spade a spade, I’m fidgeting.
My heart is also pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears, and through it all, JW stands beside me.
His hand wraps around mine; the other is braced on the edge of the table; it seems we both need something solid to hold onto. My choice is him, always.
“Ready to take a look?” The ultrasound technician asks, sitting between my propped-up, spread legs, a transvaginal ultrasound is as terrible as it sounds. It’s all for the greater good, hopefully.
“Yeah.” JW’s voice comes out gruff. I look from him then to the tech, giving her a quick nod after my husband gives me a reassuring squeeze of my hand. I hold my breath as the screen flickers, shapes, movements, and then more.
“There,” she says gently. The positive pregnancy test after months of fertility treatments gave me false hope. I called the doctor immediately, and luckily, he got me in within the next day. I’ve been on pins and needles ever since.
“Is that?” My voice breaks, hearing the flickering rhythm filling the room.
“That’s the heartbeat.” She confirms.
JW doesn’t say anything. His grip on my hand tightens, and that’s an answer enough.
“Joseph,” I whisper. He drags his hand over his face.
“You did it, baby girl.” His voice shakes, a tearful expression and look of sheer wonder comes over him.
“We did it.” I correct him, JW lets out a relieved breath, bends down, and places a soft and sweet kiss on my lips.
His eyes never leave mine. I smile, he does the same, and life is absolutely perfect.
And while the blood test will be next to find out the gender, I’d absolutely love to have a miniature version of JW, but if that isn’t in the cards, then that’s okay too.