28. Jude
JUDE
I’d made the biggest mistake of my life when I’d let Soren go, and I had no idea how to fix it. The past month had only shown me that I’d been a coward, ending our relationship because I was afraid I would never be enough for him, even while he kept insisting that I was.
I regretted it almost as soon as he left the country and had spent the past month trying to secure an Electronic Travel Authorization to travel to Belvaria.
Unfortunately, my application had been flagged because of my past conviction.
Every request for additional documents seemed to lead to another delay, leaving me trapped in California while Soren remained oceans away.
Yesterday, my sister reminded me about my mother’s pantry, which was hanging loose.
I was working on it when my phone chirped on the table.
I rested the hammer on the floor and went over to check the notification.
Soren hadn’t reached out since he’d returned to Belvaria, but it didn’t stop me from thinking—hoping—it was him.
It wasn’t.
The email was from the Belvarian High Commissioner. I closed my eyes, wishing for the best before I read the email. My heart sank. They had refused my travel authorization to the country. I’d fucked up and wouldn’t even have the chance to correct my mistake.
I sank heavily into a chair and reread the rejection letter. They’d even gone so far as to advise me that sending another application was unlikely to be successful. There was no other way into Belvaria.
Are you really going to abandon your boy?
Soren’s last words to me echoed in my head, filling me with guilt.
Maybe this was a sign that Soren had moved on and didn’t want anything to do with me.
I’d watched the court case in Belvaria at Halo House with all the angels gathered in the sitting room.
Outside the courthouse, he’d acknowledged what Halo House meant to him.
He’d sung Phoenix’s praises and even mentioned Vale.
He hadn’t mentioned me at all, and maybe I should take that as a hint that he no longer wanted anything to do with me.
But I wanted to fix it.
“Jude, darling, are you okay?” Ma asked as she entered the kitchen. She’d ditched the walker and was moving around much better now.
“I’m not sure,” I said honestly.
“Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you? Is it your breakup with Soren?” She came over to the table and took her time sitting down.
“Yes. I made a huge mistake, and I don’t think I can fix it.”
“You can’t or don’t want to fix it?”
“I’ve been trying to go to him,” I said with a frustrated sigh. “But their High Commission just denied my ETA. I can’t go to Belvaria to apologize.”
“And he’s unable to come here?”
“Phoenix says he can’t leave the country for a while, given he’s just resumed his role as their crown prince. The ball is in my court, and I’m blowing it.”
“Oh dear. This is a problem.” Ma shook her head and tutted. “I still can’t believe you had the chance to make me a queen and you declined.”
I groaned. “Ma, you know me being with Soren wouldn’t make you a queen, right? I wouldn’t even be a king but a Prince Something—I forgot what he said it was.”
Me? A prince? Could anyone blame me for walking away? The idea seemed ridiculous, but my love for Soren was genuine. If he thought I could be the man to stand by his side while he ruled a nation, I loved him enough not to allow my fears to come between us.
“Ah, honey, I’m just an old woman. Let me have my fun.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I got to my feet and started pacing, but there wasn’t enough space for it to have much of an impact, which only left me feeling more frustrated.
“What about those two men who you said showed up at the police station to get Soren released?”
“What about them?”
“They work for the royal family. If you get in touch with them, they can help you sort out the issue with your ETA. After all, it’s about their crown prince’s happiness.”
“That would be a good idea, except how would I get in touch with them? I don’t know anyone who…”
But I did know someone. Vale. He’d known that Soren was a prince before I did. He was the one who had contacted the palace on Soren’s behalf when Soren was in jail. If anyone could get in touch with the royal family, it would be him.
“Son of a bitch, why didn’t I think of this before?” I asked, feeling lighter than I’d been all month.
“That’s no way for a future queen to speak, honey,” Mom said with a wink. “You’re going to have to work on your swearing so you don’t embarrass Soren.”
Grinning, I kissed Ma hard on the cheek. “You are absolutely right, Ma.”
I’d taught Soren how to live like a regular person, and if I needed to, I would learn how to be a royal without complaint.
As tempted as I was to leave straight away to find Vale, I sent him a message asking him to meet me at home when he was available, then returned to the pantry.
Half an hour later, I’d replaced the damaged hinge plate, reinforced the loose section of wood, and rehung the door.
After sanding the repaired area smooth, I brushed on a thin coat of stain to match the rest of the cabinet and promised Ma I would return once it had dried to seal it properly.
When I checked my phone, I saw I had a text message from Vale saying he would swing by my place on the hour.
I checked the time and cursed. That barely gave me enough time to get home and change.
I’d expected him to give me a little pushback, given he’d been pissed off at me for letting Soren return to his home country alone.
The two apparently kept in touch, though I never asked, and whenever we were in the same room, he seemed to drop Soren’s name a lot.
It annoyed me, but I didn’t show it. At least I didn’t think so.
I kissed Ma goodbye, reminded her not to touch the cabinet door until the stain dried, and hurried to my truck. The drive home usually took close to forty-five minutes, but I made it in thirty. The moment I parked, I grabbed my tools from the passenger seat and rushed inside.
Without Soren, my house felt too quiet. There was no one dropping things, cursing, apologizing, laughing, or moaning.
His meager supply of skincare products occupied one side of the bathroom counter because I couldn’t bear to move them.
A sweater he had forgotten remained draped over the chair near the bedroom window.
I had washed the sheets several times, but some ridiculous part of me still believed I could smell him whenever I lay down.
I carried my tools to the workshop before heading upstairs to change my shirt. Then I ran back downstairs and waited in the living room while doing what had become a favorite pastime of mine—looking up the latest news in Belvaria, a country I hadn’t cared about four months ago.
Most days, the articles were political reports I barely understood, but sometimes they included shots of Soren wearing clothes that probably cost more than my truck. I read every single article I could find that mentioned him, sometimes more than once.
The newest headline made me sit straighter.
CROWN PRINCE SOREN ASSUMES REGENCY DUTIES DURING KING AZARI’S ILLNESS
My stomach tightened as doubts resurfaced. His father was sick? I’d had cold feet about being with him when he was just a crown prince. If he was assuming the duties of his father…
Fuck.
According to the report, the king had withdrawn from public duties while recovering from a respiratory illness. Nothing life-threatening, the palace insisted, but Soren had temporarily assumed his responsibilities.
The article included a photograph of him seated at the head of a long council table.
He wore a dark suit with a silver sash across his chest. His shoulders were straight, his expression calm, and one hand rested against a stack of documents as though he had spent his entire life preparing for that exact moment.
He looked nothing like the boy who’d climbed out of a squad car that night at Halo House.
Pride warmed my chest at how confident and regal he looked.
His rich brown skin had a smooth luster beneath the light, healthy and glowing.
For the first time, I understood why he was always talking about serums, moisturizers, and whatever other skincare products he claimed were essential.
Not that he ever wanted to spend his hard-earned money on them.
Now I wished I had taken the time to understand more so I could buy them for him.
My little prince.
No. Not my little prince. He was Belvaria’s crown prince, and based on all the articles I’d been reading, he was doing a damn good job of it, too.
Here was a young man who was learning to lead a country.
The same man who had once stared at a washing machine as though they were at war with each other.
I smiled.
A knock sounded, startling me with its intensity. I exited the article quickly and shoved my phone into my pocket.
“Coming.”
I expected Vale at the door, and he was. But he wasn’t alone. Beside him stood a man I recognized immediately despite never having met him before.
King Azari of Belvaria.
I stared, not sure how to address him, either as a king or the father of the man I loved.
Behind him were four men dressed down in jeans and polo shirts—probably a disguise, but I couldn’t see it working to fool anyone.
Their demeanor and presence said that if anyone got too close to the man in front of them, they wouldn’t live long enough to regret it.