16. Zarek
Zarek
SOMEWHERE I DON’T WANT TO GO
Marriage doesn’t have anything to do with love, she said.
I try to breathe, but I feel like there’s a rope around my neck.
No, not a rope. A ribbon. A red silk ribbon. Behind me, the crown prince of Marion and the maid he married are saying something, but I can’t bring myself to care about it. Not right now.
Not as the woman I love slams the door behind her.
Have I ever seen her that angry? I don’t think so. Not on our wedding day. Not when that slimy piece of shit Blayne forced her to drink a potion that almost killed her. Not even when Toth the smuggler tried to claim her mare just because his stallion fucked her.
No. Apparently, what really infuriates my wife is that her brother was able to choose the woman he married.
But she had to marry me.
I come to my feet. The prince of the fallen kingdom of Marion is staring at me. I force myself to smile politely, even as some part of my mind hisses that I don’t need to impress this idiot anymore. He’s not really the prince of anything. Not now.
“Are you okay?” the prince asks.
“Fine,” I say, with a smile.
Divorce. That would be the honorable thing to do, no?
There’s no strategic value to our marriage anymore.
I’m no longer the snake of Vsenrog; hells, King Malrik probably thinks I murdered Prince Syvan.
I can’t return to Vsenrog, not unless I want to swing from the gallows.
And Dungal has been dust and ash for decades.
Even if I limp back to that tiny village in the mountains, I’ll be nothing more than the son of the former king’s gardener.
I’m the prince of nothing, now. Just like the man standing before me.
I laugh. It comes out sharp and ragged. Prince Elrick frowns at me like he’s wondering if he needs to pull out his blade.
“Pardon me,” I say, still smiling. “I believe I’ll excuse myself.”
I leave before the prince can respond.
She’ll be in the stables, with the horses. I walk toward the stairs, but a flicker of motion catches my eye. There’s a door in the far wall that’s open to a narrow porch beneath the star-studded sky.
And standing on the porch, leaning against the railing, is my wife. I take a deep breath, then close my eyes against the ache in my chest.
Gods, I’m a fool. Malrik knew it all along.
That’s why he set this brilliant trap, isn’t it?
To catch the snake who has no heart. My hands are shaking.
I grip the banister until the feeling passes, and then I walk through the door and face the beautiful woman who was forced to marry the snake of Vsenrog.
Lilias looks up when I approach. Light catches on the tears tracing silver paths down her cheeks. I stand next to her, strangling the urge to touch her. She shakes her head.
“I can’t believe it,” she says in a soft, broken voice.
“I know,” I reply. “It’s incredibly unfair.”
She frowns, and my heart cracks open. If I don’t do this now, I’m going to lose my nerve.
“I’m willing to grant you a divorce,” I say.
“What?”
I blink. I don’t think my words were unclear.
“You’re right,” I say. “It’s not fair that your brother chose his partner and you didn’t.”
She laughs. It sounds like a gasp. Or a sob.
“Stop,” she says, shaking her head.
A burst of laughter rises through the night air, coming from the crowd in the common room below us. It makes me feel cold.
“There’s no longer any strategic value to our marriage,” I say, “as I believe I’m no longer welcome in Vsenrog. So, divorce is the easiest option.”
My voice doesn’t shake. I’m almost proud of that. Lilias makes another gasping sort of laugh. Or perhaps it’s a cough.
“Gods, stop it,” she says. She turns to face me. Wind ruffles her hair and tugs at her shirt. “Zarek, if you divorce me, then I’m legally married to Blayne.”
My mouth falls open. Something very, very cold threads a path through my heart.
“Oh,” I manage to say.
Lilias shakes her head and laughs again. Or cries.
“He has a marriage contract,” she says. “With his name and my name. Signed by King Malrik himself. He shoved it in my face after Malrik murdered my father. There wasn’t even a place for me to add my seal.”
She laughs bitterly. I feel like I’m going to be sick.
“That’s why Blayne gave you the potion,” I say as my mind ruthlessly puts the jagged pieces together. “So you wouldn’t be pregnant when he married you.”
“Yes.” She sniffs as her hands twist together at her waist. “That’s why.”
This is leading somewhere I don’t want to go.
My stupid, reckless heart shivers inside its cage. If I could stab the bastard right now, I would.
“And that’s why you wanted to consummate our marriage.”
The words fall like ice from my lips. Lilias blinks and stares at me, her mouth open. Tears shimmer in her eyes.
“What?” she says. “No, that’s— That’s not—”
“So it couldn’t be annulled,” I continue as the ruthless logic falls into place. “Because, if our marriage fails, you belong to Blayne.”
Lilias stares at me like she doesn’t understand the words coming from my mouth. I shake my head.
That’s why she wanted me. That’s the only reason.
So she could avoid something even worse.
And, fool that I am, I let myself believe there was something more. As if our marriage could ever be more than two people shoved together against their will by forces outside of their control.
The tiny balcony suddenly feels too small, my chest too tight. I can’t breathe.
No, godsdamn it. I can’t fall apart. Not here. Not ever again. I take a step back, toward the door. I need to get away from this woman, and I need to find some wine. A lot of wine.
“I see,” I say. My voice is as cold as the wind that comes off the Barrier Mountains in the heart of winter. “I understand.”
“No,” Lilias replies. “I don’t think you do.”
Panic flares inside my chest. My lungs aren’t working; the walls are closing in around me.
Wine. I need wine, now. All the wine.
Lilias reaches for me. I flinch like she’s trying to hit me.
“At least you prefer me to the man who betrayed your entire kingdom,” I snap. “I guess I should be flattered.”
Lilias grabs my wrist as I step backward through the door.
“Stop it,” she growls. “Where are you going?”
Our eyes meet, throwing sparks into the darkness. Lilias looks like she wants to punch me, and honestly, I don’t blame her. I yank my arm out of her hand.
“I’m going to find a priest who can divorce us,” I reply. “And a barrel of wine big enough to drown in.”
“What is wrong with you?” Lilias cries.
“Me?” I bark. “What do you think I am, a prince?”
She looks at me like I’ve just slapped her.
“Fuck,” I snap. “I didn’t ask for this marriage either, Princess.”
And then I run away before my wife starts to cry.