26. Lilias
Lilias
NEVER ENOUGH
Don’t ever stop, my mind screams.
I’m shaking against Zarek’s chest as his fingers slide up my thighs.
My breath catches in my throat, pleading for something I can’t even put into words.
The ache between my legs is almost painful, that desperate longing to feel him again, to go back to the barn in the rain, back to the time when things between us almost made sense.
“Don’t stop,” Zarek whispers, his breath hot against my neck. “Is that another command, Princess?”
I can’t stop the low, animal plea that slips through my lips. I’m trembling, burning, soaking wet, and my gods, this is worse than kissing him a hundred times in a dozen little towns. Because then, I didn’t know what he could do. I didn’t know how good he could make me feel.
“You expect me to obey?” he growls.
I gasp for air as my back arches, rocking against him. I sink my fingers into his hair and cling to him as my body burns. His fingers are so close, dancing across the top of my thighs. Sliding over the folds of my sex.
“Gods,” I choke, “please—”
“Tell me,” he whispers, his voice low and rough against my neck. “Tell me what you want.”
His fingers trace a long, slow path down the cleft of my sex, then back to the top. He’s so close to the place he touched in Detec, the place he devoured in the barn. My hips rock against his hand, my breath coming in ragged, desperate gasps.
“Please,” I pant, barely able to form words. “Please—”
“Please what?”
His fingers circle, gently, and my gods, I swear I’m dying. I feel him through the folds of my skirt, the hard length of his cock pressed against my backside, his hips rocking against mine.
“Touch me,” I gasp. “Please.”
He makes a sound, low and in the back of his throat, something that’s almost a laugh and almost a growl. I tilt my head back and close my eyes as his lips trace a path down the curve of my neck.
His fingers enter me slowly, his thumb dancing over the spot at the top of my sex, sending pleasure searing through my body like bolts of lightning, bright and fast, until I can barely breathe.
His fingers thrust inside me, moving to the same rhythm as our hips, and oh, how can he make me feel so good with just his hand?
Gods, I’ve never wanted anything like I want this man. I want to turn around and pin him to the ground, to rip his clothes off and taste every part of him. But I don’t dare to move. I don’t want to break this thing between us.
“Like this?” he pants, his breath hot against my skin.
I moan in response. I don’t want him to stop. I don’t ever want him to stop. I gasp as my legs tremble, my body pulsing to the beat of his hand. His lips travel down my neck, kissing and biting, and the sounds coming out of my mouth are so raw and hungry I almost don’t recognize them.
His fingers dance inside me. I’m trapped between his hand and the massive length of his cock pressing into my backside, his hips rocking with mine through the layers of my dress, almost like we’re dancing together, gasping and panting, his chest pressed against my back, his fingers deep inside me, my hand clinging to the back of his head like I’ll fall apart without him.
“What do you want, Princess?” he growls against my throat as his fingers drive into me, so good but not enough, never enough.
“More,” I gasp.
He gives it to me. The room spins as his hand dances over my sex, his fingers thrusting deep inside me, making me shake as pleasure burns me alive.
The noises I make sound like sobs as my body presses against his, and nothing else matters.
Not the cold silences between us as we traveled, not the way he looks at me when he thinks I won’t notice, not all the impossible, broken things I can never find the words to tell him—
Something slips out of my lips, loud and feral, as the crest crashes down all around me, coming fast and hot and sudden.
My body pulls tight, then almost collapses as I gasp, carried away by the shattering ecstasy.
Zarek wraps his arm around my waist, holding me upright, pressed to his body as the waves of my orgasm tear through me.
And then I’m gasping as the room swirls and pulses around me. Zarek grabs my skirts.
“On your knees,” he growls.
I fall to my knees, desperate and aching.
The carpet beneath my hands is soaked with red wine, and it seeps up through my fingertips, making me think of the taste of his lips on the unity tour, the wine-sweet kisses that made me burn for something I’d never even had.
Something I’d never even imagined could be so good.
Zarek drops to his knees behind me. I gasp as he pushes my skirts up over my waist, and then I feel him against me, the heat of his cock pressing against the folds of my dripping sex.
A moan slips from my lips, even as some part of me recoils, because this isn’t how it’s supposed to work.
I’m supposed to be on my back, my legs spread wide.
My husband leans over me, his breath hot against the back of my neck.
“What do you want?” he whispers, his voice thick. His fingers trace a path up the inside of my thigh, and I shiver. “What is your command, Princess?”
My hips rock back, pressing against the heat of his cock. He pulls away; my breath catches in my throat and comes out like a sob.
“You,” I gasp, trembling. “Please. I want you.”
Naked hunger burns through me, and gods, I don’t care how it’s supposed to be. I want him, all of him. I want him now.
He’s still for just a heartbeat. And then I feel the press of his cock, heat and pressure against my opening. He’s panting, his breath coming in sharp little bursts.
“More,” I beg.
It’s almost a sob, almost a desperate, wordless cry.
And he gives it to me. I moan as he fills me. Gods, it feels right. Like we were always meant to be this way, his body deep inside mine, the two of us joined and dancing. My fingers curl against the wine-wet rug and I push back, driving him into me, needing more. Needing everything.
He pulls away, and for a heartbeat I think of the stallion, desperate for the mare, thrusting into her.
“Yes,” I gasp, my voice ragged. “Yes, please, more—”
And then he thrusts inside of me, entering me fully, and my world explodes with pleasure. I can’t think of anything except the feel of him inside of me, the rightness of it, the way he fills my whole being.
“Oh, gods,” I gasp. “Gods, yes, Zarek—”
Zarek sinks his fingers into my hair as he fills me again, slowly, rocking against my hips, making my entire body tremble, pushing me up against the edge of too much, far too much, then pulling back again, leaving me begging with wordless gasps again and again, my hands sinking into the wine-soaked carpet, my breath ragged, and my gods, it has to be too much, it feels too good, and still, I want more, more, more.
He drives into me, his fist in my hair, and it’s too much and not enough, I can’t take it, I can’t—
Ecstasy crashes through my body, shattering every part of me. I think I’m screaming, calling his name or maybe cursing it, as I fall apart. The room goes dark as my body lets go, the rush of pleasure carrying me away.
Zarek pulls back, cursing, and the heat of his seed hits my thighs.
So I don’t have to drink the potion, my numbed brain whispers.
Blayne always spilled his seed inside of me, but Zarek doesn’t dare.
His voice comes back to me from that morning in the garden in Dungal. Women die from that godsdamned sludge.
I swallow hard as my pleasure recedes. Whatever else he does or doesn’t want with me, at least my husband doesn’t want me to die.
There’s no sound in the room but our desperate panting. The scent of sweat and sex mingles with the spilled wine all around me. Zarek comes to his feet, brings me a towel, and then sits down next to me and pulls me into his arms.
He’s still wearing his shirt. I smile at the absurdity of that, then thread my fingers through the laces on his chest. We sit together on the carpet, my head against his shirt, his arms wrapped around my shoulders.
There are so many things I want to say to him, so many questions we need to answer together. But fear pulls my throat tight as the lamps fade and the room fills with shadows, and I can’t bring myself to say even a single word.
Eventually, Zarek helps me to my feet, and we stagger together to the bed. He pulls the covers back, and I sink into the sheets, my eyelids so heavy I can barely hold them open. He tugs the covers over me.
And then I hear the door open, and close, as my husband leaves me. Again.