Chapter 13 | White Girl Wasted
Sebastian
F rom the outside, my life looks incredible, enviable even. I’m sitting in one of the top clubs with access to whatever I want, and I’m friends with the owner. One of the trendiest DJs is here tonight, and he’s playing some of his latest hits. Has it only been days since Jude has gotten home? Even if she was gone for two years, it’s like nothing has changed with the four of us partying it up again like we used to.
My reality, though, is shit. Because I can’t have what I truly want.
According to my mom, I’m a prime example of what a Rogue should be. She brags this to anyone who will listen, even if she tells me how disappointing I am in private. So I’m either being controlled by her, pining for Jude, or killing people for hire. It's not much of a life. Then, you get moments like this in Tao that give me a reason to smile again, even if it's only temporary.
Luca has gone all out for Jude’s party, and I’m impressed at how full the club is. The Supernatural community isn’t huge, but I’m pretty sure almost everyone is here tonight. The waitresses are scrambling to keep everyone’s drinks flowing even as Satine, one of the waitresses I recognise, places a fresh drink and napkin in front of me. Despite the dimness inside the club, the warm tones of red beaming down from the chandeliers and red neon lights against the walls create a sense of drama. It's such a typical Luca thing to do. Thankfully, we’re cordoned off in the VIP booths, which gives me the perfect vantage of my favorite sight. Jude swaying her hips on the dance floor.
I would be lying if I said I didn't want her. She consumes my every thought. Jude has embraced my darkness, and I know hers in return. I remember the day I told her how hopeless I felt about my life. She took my cheeks in her hands and told me that everyone had a bit of darkness inside them, and that’s why we needed to find small moments to live for, to celebrate life. It’s something I’ve tried to hold on to since then, even if it always feels like I’m failing.
Dom throws his arm around my shoulders and shouts over the thumping music, “How are things, Sebastian? It's been a while since we’ve caught up!” This forces me to take my eyes off Jude, which annoys me more than it should. Dom looks happier than I’ve seen him in a while. Though, I’ve never understood why people want to have heartfelt conversations in a packed nightclub.
Before I can answer, Dom looks down and pats his suit pocket for his phone. Grabbing it, something on it changes his demeanor. “Excuse me, I have to take this. It's business.” He gets up and navigates his way through the packed club and disappears from sight. Turning my attention back to Jude and Luca on the dance floor, I can see they’re still having the time of their lives dancing .
I hated myself for how I ended things with Jude, but I would do it again if I had to because she wasn’t ready to hear the truth back then. She was always so sure that our love could change things, and that it would endure. I couldn’t bear to take that hope away from her, so it was easier to make her hate me instead. Even though Jude knows the truth now, she still doesn’t trust me because if I lied to her once, she believes I could do it again. She made it clear she’s only tolerating my presence because of my mom’s instructions that I should get close to her again.
I would be happy to spend the rest of the evening watching Jude dance, even if from afar, but Luca chooses this moment to approach me and interrupt my musings as she plops down on the velvet couch next to me, Dom still nowhere to be seen. Arms across her chest and her eyebrow raised, she’s not impressed with me. “What are you playing at?”
Luca and I have a complicated relationship. Of course we’re friends, but we disagree on almost everything. The only things we can agree on are our love for Jude and women. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough. Still though,you can count on most of our conversations ending in some form of bickering. Giving her my most irritating smile, I ignore her question and instead respond, “Well done, L; the place looks great. I’m actually enjoying tonight. Shocker, I know.”
Luca swats at my shoulder. “Don’t be a dick. Answer my question now before I beat you up in front of everyone, and we both know I could.” Sighing because a packed Tao isn’t the place to have an honest conversation, I tell her, “We can catch up later. Privately. All you need to know for now is that everyone knows where they stand, okay?”
Luca sizes me up with another glare, and while it seems I’ve convinced her, I can see she doesn’t like being left out of the loop. Flipping her hair over her shoulder, she gets up and pauses before looking over her shoulder at me again. She really is annoyingly smooth. “Yes, tonight is awesome because of me, so don’t fuck it up.”
Luca sashays over to Jude and pounces on her as one of their favorite songs starts playing, and they jump around with the happiness of kids out for their first night on the town. I swear I even hear “this is my favorite song! ” squealed over the music, and it's an effort to hide my smile. It's nice to see this side of them again.
It's at the point in the evening where the smell of sweat mingled with smoke machines and alcohol becomes overwhelming, and the only way to deal with it is more alcohol. Flagging down Satine for a drink, Dom’s timing is perfect as he finally surfaces and returns to our booth, and I signal to Satine to bring him one too.
Noting Dom’s dark blonde, tousled hair and untucked shirt, I clap him on the back as he sits next to me, and I ask, “Everything okay with the…business?” Giving me a roguish grin, he responds, “There’s nothing like a bit of pleasure after you’ve taken care of the business.” Falling into a natural flow of conversation, I burst out laughing as Dom tells me about the party the twins tried to pull off recently. As pissed as he was, it really wasn’t that long ago that he and I did something similar. His dad was furious at us, and I genuinely thought we were going to be skewered on the estate's iron gates when we got caught.
Satine arrives with an ice bucket, a bottle of champagne, and our drinks for the table, and she looks at my confused face as she responds, “Did you think I was going to leave my bosses table without a fresh supply of her favorite drink?” Grinning, I accept the drinks and catch Luca’s eye to beckon her and Jude over. We may as well toast to being together again. Standing, I unscrew the cork of the bottle, and it pops as Luca squeals with happiness. Dom hands me the empty glasses, and I fill them all midway and pass them out to the girls. Once we all have a glass, I raise mine high to share my toast. “To being together again, and a reminder that we’re stronger together than we are apart.”
Bubbles fizzle over my tongue as I take a sip of the champagne and immediately put the glass aside. I prefer my normal drink. Dom leans in to tell me, “You should come over to the estate soon. I’ve got a matter that could use your brand of…expertise.” I agree, but I’m only half listening. A curvy, pretty blonde girl from the Human Faction approaches me flirtatiously, and in another life, I may have taken her up on it. But tonight, her advances are unwelcome. Seeing the tense set of Jude’s shoulders shows I’m not the only one who feels this way because when she turns around, she has murder written all over her face.
Jude grabs the human by the shoulder and practically snarls at her to get lost, losing control of her temper. Everyone knows who Jude is and precisely why you should take that threat seriously, so the human scurries off. Jude then turns her anger on me, “What were you hoping to achieve by flirting with that human in front of me? You say you’re trying to win my trust back, and then you do that? Do you want me to hate you?” She seethes.
Raising my eyebrow, because we both know that it didn’t happen like that, I turn to Luca and ask, “Can we use your office for privacy?” She wordlessly hands me her office keys and grabbing Jude’s hand, I lead her through the packed nightclub, squeezing past all the gyrating bodies until we’re in the privacy of Luca’s office. Inside, the thumping of the music gone, I lean against the desk, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to remain calm and collected as I explain.
“You’ve made it clear you’re only tolerating my presence because of my mother’s instructions, and I can never have you the way I did again. So what was that display of jealousy about?” Jude stares at my lips and unconsciously starts biting hers before she quickly looks away and responds, “I don’t know.”
This time my temper flares. “Bullshit. If I’ve learned to communicate, you can definitely do it. Let me rephrase; you don’t want me, but your actions show something different. So what is it then? If you can’t have me, no one can? Am I not allowed to be happy without you?”
When Jude turns to face me again, the look on her face becomes predatory. Her voice is like a spell. “Maybe I’ve had a bit more to drink tonight than I should have, and it’s been a while since I’ve been with someone. I haven’t forgotten how good we are together and maybe, just for a moment, I want to be a normal university student again. Not my family's future.”
She threads her arms around my neck, her body pressed flush against me, her mouth only inches from mine. There is no way she hasn’t felt how hard I am, and when her breath shudders, it confirms my suspicion. When I brought Jude to Luca’s office, I wanted to give her space to fight it out with me. Now, she’s trying to seduce me. She may not trust me, but no one knows her better than I do. It doesn’t help that I’m still hopelessly in love with her.
“What do you want, Jude?” My sanity is barely holding on by a thread. Having her so close to me is exquisite and torturous at the same time. “I don’t know about the future, but right now, this,” she presses her hips into me for emphasis, “seems like a really great idea. ”
She finally brings her face closer and presses her lips against mine. Groaning into her mouth, I relish the kiss for a minute before reminding myself that I have to do the responsible thing. I owe her that much after everything I put her through. Breaking the kiss, I tuck her hair behind her ear to give my hands something else to do while I ask what I’m dreading.
“Jude, is this really what you want right now? We’ve both been drinking. I’ve lost so much of you. I don’t want to take advantage of you and give you another reason to hate me.” She bites her lip again, and I swear I will do anything she wants when she does that.
“Have you ever wondered that maybe I want to be taken advantage of? While I may not trust you with my heart, I know I can trust you with my body. Loving you has only brought me pain. But tomorrow, nothing will have changed between us.”
While some of that stings, it's all I needed to hear, and my mouth crashes into hers, and we’re frenzied trying to get close enough to each other. While I would have liked to draw this out for hours, we don’t have a lot of time, and Jude fumbles for my belt buckle as I unbutton my shirt. Just having her hands on me again is enough to almost finish me. She touches something deep in my soul, and for a second, I want to close my eyes and savor this moment with her, committing every beautiful part of her to my memory.
Grabbing her hand, I take control as my pants hang loosely. Guiding her by the hips, we swap places so her back is against the desk. Hoisting her up onto it, I promise myself I will buy Luca a new office if I need to when we’re done. Jude wraps her legs around my hips, locking me into place while she kisses my neck in my favorite spot, between my jaw and my ear. If she keeps going like that, this is going to be over before we’ve even started .
Lifting her head for a moment, she runs her hands over the myriad of tattoos over my body, something she’s never seen before. “They’re beautiful,” she murmurs, and the last thing I want to do is talk about it now, so I lift her dress. Finding blue lace underwear waiting for me, I groan because she’s a literal dream, and I can’t believe I get this chance with her again after everything that’s happened. A tear echoes through the room as I rip her underwear off her, and the only thing she says is, “Pity, I liked this underwear set.”
Thankfully, this gets her back on track, and I slowly insert one finger inside her, and Jude’s head rolls back in pleasure. She’s wet for me already, so I remove my finger–I’m briefly met by a death glare–as I line myself up with her entrance. Holding her breath in anticipation, I slowly enter her, and she tilts her head back again, and this time she moans as her back arches further.
Sheathed inside her to my hilt, my breathing is heavy. I let out another groan because she feels so good, and I would do anything to draw this out for as long as possible. Picking up the pace, we meet each other thrust for thrust. With the sound of the desk scuffing the floor, an ornament breaks, and I don’t care, Jude neither. Pleasure courses through my body, and chasing that high, I increase the frequency of my thrusting. Jude sits up and grabs my ass, bringing me closer to her if that's even possible, her nails digging into my skin as we both find our release.