Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Penelope
I should have homeschooled Hazel.
That’s the thought I can’t shake while standing outside St. Pat’s, clutching my coffee and trying to look like I belong.
I might be standing here with a fresh coffee from the preferred café and wearing similar clothes as the other moms, but none of them have even glanced in my direction.
Sure, Hazel and I are new here, but I thought the whole mean girl group was a myth.
Or something that ended when the yearbooks were signed senior year.
Of course I’ve never been included in one, mostly because I always keep to myself.
I’d been looking for a new house for Hazel and me, needing to get out of my dad’s place before Hazel thought ice cream was a staple breakfast food.
Leighton couldn’t stop talking about St. Pat’s, and it felt like fate when a nearby, not-so-perfect house came up on the market.
The house is older than I wanted and needs a lot more work than I have the skills for, but it’s close to the school.
Since I really want to help ease Hazel into this transition and allow her to find herself, I figured starting somewhere where she knows some of the kids was a better option than her not knowing anyone.
But I never thought I’d have this hard of a time with the moms.
Then they all turn my way, and I offer a soft smile and start to lift my hand in a friendly wave. But none of them even crack a smile back. God, when did this turn into high school all over again?
It’s then I realize they aren’t looking at me. They’re looking past me.
As discreetly as I can, I glance over my shoulder to see what might be grabbing their attention.
Suppose it should’ve been obvious. Leighton told me that she was working today.
Hayes jogs across the residential street and slows, pressing something on his watch, before he looks up and gives me the first smile I’ve gotten in this small school entryway.
“Penelope.” He catches his breath as he walks toward me.
“Cutting it close, Hayes,” one of the moms says, tapping the watch on her wrist.
Hayes gives her a small nod and tight smile as he stops next to me. “I thought for sure I was going to be late. Got caught up at practice.”
“Oh, I thought you were out on a run.”
He chuckles. “I was. Have to make sure I don’t have two kids crying for me on the school steps.”
“You guys can always call me. I’m happy to watch them for you. Hazel would love it.”
He nods and smiles. “Thank you. We’ll probably take you up on that. But Lincoln has a playdate with two friends today, and you do not want three ten-year-old boys running around your new house, believe me.” He pushes up to sit on the concrete ledge. “I’m happy to take Hazel too.”
The other moms have somehow opened their little circle into a horseshoe so they can all watch Hayes.
“No, you have a full plate. How about I take Monroe?”
He laughs and rocks his head back. I can understand his appeal. Hayes is attractive and a genuinely nice guy. It’s not like I want to date him. One reason of course is that he’s taken, and I absolutely love his wife. The other reason I’m in the process of trying to delete out of my brain.
He shakes his head at me. “Look at us, trying to give the other one a break.”
The bell rings, which gives us about five minutes before the kids rush out.
Hayes pushes himself off the ledge. “Your time to help us out will come, I’m sure. We’ll be in Texas soon and then Atlanta. But you probably know that.”
I nod. “Your schedule is posted on the fridge. Hazel likes to follow her grandpa, plus he always brings her stuffies from the cities he visits. She’s getting older, so now she’s asking for specific things.”
He chuckles. “Am I going to be fighting your dad for a Texas longhorn and a right whale stuffed animal?” My shocked expression must give me away. “Leighton and I apologize.” He places his hand over his heart. “Our Monroe has never found a list she didn’t want to check everything off of.”
“I think it’s cute they have something to share. And I’d tell my dad to pick up two, but I have a feeling you want to buy them for her.”
He’s already nodding before I finish. “It’s kind of our bonding thing. This time of the year is hard enough, and it helps a little. Leighton and I are trying to schedule some days out just us and one of them.” He shrugs. “So, it’s hard.”
The doors of the school open, and we get interrupted by kids pouring out of the school.
Monroe and Hazel are the first of our crew, both of them running toward us.
Monroe clings to Hayes.
Hazel lingers and hugs me around my middle, but there’s no tight squeeze. When I look at her face to try to decipher if it was a bad day, she’s staring at Hayes and Monroe.
I watch Hayes lift Monroe, and she wraps her legs around his waist as though it’s the most instinctive thing in the world, and something quiet and complicated moves through my chest—because I want that for Hazel so badly it almost looks like anger from the outside.
“Tell me one good thing from today,” Hayes says to her.
Monroe stares at the blue sky.
“She got picked to bring someone special on Friday,” Hazel interjects, and I run my hand over her long braid. She sounds super excited for her friend.
Monroe’s lips tip down. “You can’t come.”
Hayes’s eyes close for a moment, and his mouth twists. “I’m sorry. Maybe I can talk to the teacher. Swap days with someone.”
Monroe squirms, and he lets her down. “It’s okay.” She turns to Hazel. “This is what happens with them.”
Hayes and I share a look of confusion, as Monroe’s comment is kind of cryptic, as though the two of them have been discussing something.
“Let’s swap,” Hazel says. “I’ll take Friday. My mom can come.” She looks at me, and I nod.
Monroe’s mouth twists. “It’s okay. You don’t understand how busy their schedule is.”
“Monroe, don’t you mean my schedule?” Hayes has clearly picked up on the words they and them, as I have.
“All of you… but anyway, Hazel has news too.” She motions at Hazel, trying to shift the attention to her friend.
“Do tell,” Hayes says, crossing his arms, waiting.
Hazel’s gaze falls to the ground, and she shuffles her feet. “I’m entering the end-of-the-year talent show.”
My eyes widen, and I try to tamp down my surprise. This is a very out-of-the-box thing for Hazel. She’s quiet, reserved, and doesn’t like any kind of spotlight on her. “Oh, that’s awesome, sweetie.”
“There’s one problem.” Monroe cringes, but when Hazel glances over, she smacks on an encouraging smile. “But she totally has it.”
Hazel’s shoulders slip as if she’s already doubting herself. “I have to hula hoop.” Her voice is small and unsure.
My mind travels back to field day a few weeks ago when she struggled to get the hula hoop going and to move her hips properly.
“Oh, why did you choose that?” I regret my question immediately when Hazel’s lips tip down even farther.
“Everything else was taken. And you don’t have a dog, so…” Monroe shrugs.
“I shouldn’t do it. It’s a bad idea.” Hazel shakes her head.
“No!” Hayes and I say at the same time.
I squat down, placing my coffee at my feet. “It’s a great idea. So, you just have to hula hoop?”
“Mrs. McConnell said that I could probably do some tricks and have fun with it.”
“Tricks?” I ask, my throat closing the more I think about her up there on that stage and the hula hoop not spinning, let alone her pulling off a trick.
I’m not exactly known for my coordination or ability to pick up new things easily. And if she takes after me, then this might be rougher than we think.
“Yeah, we’re gonna look some stuff up. Can she come over, Hayes?” Monroe stares up at him, eyes wide and pleading.
Hayes glances at me, silently asking for my permission.
“Um…”
Before I can answer, Lincoln strolls over, two of his friends flanked on either side of him.
“Hazel… the hula hoop, huh?” Lincoln nods as though he’s impressed.
Hazel looks at all three boys then gives them a small nod.
“Boys.” There’s a warning in Hayes’s voice that says be nice, otherwise there will be consequences.
“We told her at recess that she needs to find someone to help her,” Lincoln says. “And not you. You’re not flexible.”
Hayes’s eyes narrow. “I’m a catcher. I’m the most flexible player on the field.”
“We saw Decker Davis at field day. He beat everyone with the hula hoop, longest spin. Too bad you can’t get him to teach you, Hazel,” a brown-haired boy to Lincoln’s left says.
I feel Hayes look at me from the corner of his eye.
I keep my face perfectly neutral, the way I’ve gotten very good at doing whenever that name comes up—which is more often than I’d like in his city, his circle, in the life I’ve built so carefully around the one person I can’t seem to get away from.
“Boys, this is Penelope Ripley, daughter of the manager of the Colts.” Hayes motions toward me.
The boys don’t seem surprised, so I’m guessing either Lincoln or Monroe told them who Hazel’s grandfather is.
“Oh, that’s right,” the brown-haired boy says, stepping forward. “I’m Bodhi Hensley. My dad is the right wing for the Falcons.”
I nod. “Nice to meet you. I heard you went here.”
“I’m Micah. My dad is just a lawyer, nothing fun,” the other little boy says, waving.
“Don’t complain. You at least have one.” Lincoln eyes Hazel.
Again, she turns toward me. I give her what I hope looks like a steady smile.
“Okay.” Hayes claps his hands together. “Let’s get this playdate started.”
I give him a thankful look.
“Wait, can Hazel come?” Monroe asks.
“Um…” Hayes looks at me again.
“Please, Mom.” Hazel’s pleading eyes grab hold of the mom guilt I’ve been drowning in lately.
“Okay.” I bend down and hug her. “I’ll get you for dinner, okay?”
She nods, and I hold her a beat longer than necessary, my nose in her hair because most days now, the hugs are more for me than for her.
“Thanks, Hayes.”
“Believe me, you made today easier by adding a friend for Monroe.” He holds out his hand for Hazel.
Holding Hazel’s hand in one and Monroe’s in the other, Hayes and the boys lead the way to cross the street with the crossing guard and head to their house.
I watch until they disappear around the corner. The quiet that comes after feels louder than it should. The other moms have already filtered away, leaving me alone with my cold coffee by my feet.
I pull out my phone and type a message to Leighton. I need to ask if she’s talked to her doctor friend from work yet. Because I’ve been putting this off long enough, and seeing Hazel watch Monroe and Hayes today makes my plan feel a lot more urgent.