1. New Beginning
1
New Beginning
I’ve heard my aunt’s voice a lot in my life. I could pick it out in a crowded room without the slightest hesitation. I’d recognize it anywhere. How could I forget the voice of the mother I never had?
As a kid, her voice was the last thing I’d hear before I fell asleep every night during the summer trips my mother and I took to Florida. Weird that my own mother wasn’t the one singing to me, I know. But that’s not who my mother is. If she’d been the type to sing her kid a lullaby, maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up.
I’d listen to Maria sing until sleep took my hand and swept me away. But now, as I lie with my eyes closed and my body numb, the voice that was once upon a time so reassuring is filled with a pain that could make the coldest heart ache.
“Winter, my poor baby. I’m so sorry. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Her voice is weak, faint.
My eyes fly open.
“Thank God.”
I sit up straight. My sight is blurry. My thoughts, too.
Maria immediately pulls me into her familiar arms, holding me like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do.
“What the hell happened?” I blink repeatedly.
“I’ll tell you everything, I promise. Just… let me have this moment.”
When she pulls away, I glance around the room and wait. That’s all I can do: wait for my senses to come back to me. But along with my senses comes the worst part.
The memories.
I remember the fight at the Downside, watching Haze and Kendrick beat each other to a pulp, getting kidnapped, figuring out that Tanner, Haze’s brother, was behind the whole thing and that Blake was—sorry, is —a traitor.
I remember our escape and cutting my leg open with a piece of glass. Haze carrying me in the chaos. His panicked voice in the dark. But most importantly… I remember the last words he said to me. The words I will never forget.
I love you, Kingston.
That awkward moment when your crush tells you he loves you because you’re dying.
My vision clears up, and I take in my surroundings. I know I shouldn’t be sad when I’m hit by the cold hard truth, but it doesn’t stop my heart from crumbling.
He’s gone.
Of course he is.
The pain in my leg is almost as bad as the disappointment that courses through my veins when I stop searching for his face. I’ve been slipping in and out of consciousness for a while. I think I fainted. They must’ve put me to sleep while they removed the glass from my leg. I could hear snippets of conversations here and there—let me rephrase: snippets of arguments —but I couldn’t move or talk. Like my mind was awake, but my body wasn’t.
We’re not in the clinic I heard them talk about earlier, that’s for sure. They must’ve had no choice but to move me.
We’re in a crappy motel room. A sad shade of blue covers the walls, and an orangey lamp sits on the nightstand next to me. On my left is another bed and a desk.
“What happened?” I ask again.
My aunt draws in a breath. “Kendrick called. He said you needed help, and they couldn’t take you to the hospital. He…” She pauses, her eyes full of pain. “He told me everything.”
It takes my brain a while to digest the piece of information it’s been fed.
She knows.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t how Kendrick intended for his mother to find out about his street fighting secret.
“I called an old friend of mine. He’s a doctor. He told us to take you to his clinic. All you need to know is you’re going to be fine. We managed to remove the glass from your leg. You are so lucky it wasn’t fragmented. It wasn’t deep enough to do any real damage, but you’ve got a fracture. It’s not going to be fun, but you should be able to walk again in six weeks.”
I look down at the heavy blanket weighting on me. If the pain tells me anything, it’s that this is not going to look much better than it feels.
“Do I even want to see my leg?” I ask, well aware that I’m not going to like the answer.
She forces a smile on her face. “You’ll heal.”
“That means no.”
“I said you were okay. I never said it was pretty.” She reaches for my hand and intertwines our fingers.
“So… he told you everything, huh?”
She heaves a sigh. “From beginning to end.”
“How are you holding up?”
“As good as a mother can after finding out that her baby boy likes to beat up people for fun, I guess.”
To my great disbelief, she manages to get a faint laugh out of me. Why am I laughing right now? Must be the exhaustion. Ironic that I feel completely drained after sleeping for so long.
“I’m not surprised, to be honest. I’d hoped the fights had stopped since my days, but…”
“Wait. Rewind. You knew about this?” My eyes widen.
“I was young once, too, you know. The fights have been around a long time. I knew about them, but I just never thought Kendrick could be…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, but she doesn’t need to.
“I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you. We were trying to protect you.”
Her face twitches in frustration. “That’s exactly the thing, Winter. Protecting you is my job. Mine. I’m the one that’s supposed to take care of you while your mother’s away. I’m so sorry. I’m an awful guardian.” Her eyes are bloodshot.
“No, stop. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t like them from the start and I… I should’ve listened to you. Please, don’t blame yourself for this.”
Guilt darkens her face. “If only it were that easy.”
I don’t say anything. Simply because no words seem strong enough to ease her pain.
“How did you find out about the fights?”
She wipes her eyes. “Let’s just say I’ve had a few bad boys of my own in my days. Like your boyfriend… Haze, is it?”
I wince at the reminder.
Great. Thanks, Auntie. I almost went two whole minutes without thinking about him.
I look down. “We’re not really together.”
“I figured.” She gives me a weak smile.
It must’ve been pretty obvious that he wasn’t my boyfriend when she heard him and Kendrick bicker about how he could never see me again. A boyfriend doesn’t usually leave his girlfriend’s side when she’s unconscious.
“But there’s something going on, isn’t there? That boy… he means something to you?”
“He’s…” I pause, searching for words that refuse to be found. “Complicated.”
She smiles warmly. “Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I know a thing or two about complicated.”
“Where are the guys?” I realize that Haze isn’t the only person missing here.
“Kendrick went back home to get your things.”
“What?” I ask, my gaze drifting around the room.
This can’t be true.
She squeezes my hand, pain apparent on her face. “He’s getting you out of town.”
“But… why can’t we go back home?”
She pauses for a long moment. “There’s no such thing as home anymore, Winter.”
Deep down, I knew she would say that.
I have no idea how I could, even for half a second, think that I’d simply slide back into my routine after getting freaking kidnapped. After all this, a foolish part of me still dared to believe that everything could go back to normal—whatever “normal” means.
“Or at least, not for a while.”
I fidget with my fingers, the truth burdening me. “Where is he taking me?”
“You’ll be staying at Tom’s summer penthouse four hours out of town. He was nice enough to offer, and I’d much rather have you there than in dirty motels like this. You’re leaving in a few hours.”
It comes back to me when his name escapes her lips. She mentioned him earlier.
Tom.
As in Thomas, Maria’s ex-husband’s best friend. They’d spent their entire college years together, all three of them. But he ended up growing closer with my aunt after she divorced Nick, his supposed best friend. I think they always had a thing for each other, and from what I can see, that hasn’t changed, but she was his best friend’s girl and they could never make it work.
She was right. She knows complicated.
Now that she’s officially single, he probably wants to give it a shot. Letting her family stay in one of his properties sure is a big sign that he’s not over her. Not that I’d mind her with him. He’s a gentleman and a very successful doctor who recently opened a clinic downtown. She deserves it after what Nick did.
“What about school?” I ask, unable to believe that I’m trying to use school as an excuse.
“Thomas will get you and Kendrick a doctor’s note. We’re working on getting you online classes until you can come back.”
“And when do you think that might be?”
The look on her face tells me that I’m seeking an answer she can’t give me. I get it. Florida isn’t safe anymore. Not when Tanner and the East side’s countless enemies want my head. Whether I’ll even make it to the school’s prom is uncertain. I’ll probably graduate online and go back to Canada as soon as my mother and Harry, my stepfather, come back from their work trip.
“That bad, huh?”
“It’s for your safety. Kendrick made a lot of mistakes, but I know he only wants what’s best for you. He’s going to keep you safe while I take care of everything at home.” She leans in to kiss my forehead and gets up, heading for the door. “Tom said to notify him when you’re awake. I’ll give him a call.”
I nod and watch her walk out of the room. A few minutes pass. I close my eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in my leg, and enjoy the silence. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stick around for long.
“She’ll be fine.” I hear distant voices in the hall.
The walls are paper-thin. Great to see the rest of the motel is as shitty as its rooms.
“She’s already fine. The question is will she walk again?”
I recognize Will.
“Wait, did you just say she was hot?”
And Alex.
“Yep.”
“You’re an ass, you know that?”
“Yep.”
I repress a smile as they struggle to unlock the door. When they walk into the room with pizza boxes in their hands, it’s a wonder I’m not drooling.
Okay, I’m awake now! Give me the pizza.
Fainting like an idiot does require a lot of energy. I can’t believe I passed out the second I saw my blood. I’ve always been terrified of it, but I thought I’d gotten that under control. Obviously, I was wrong. Just a drop of blood and there goes my punk ass again. I turn into a damsel in distress in need of a savior.
It’s a good thing Haze was there to fulfill that role.
Stop thinking about him!
“Good, you’re awake.” Alex smiles, resting the box he’s holding on the washed-out desk a few feet away from the door. “I told you she’d be okay.” He shoots Will a quick glance.
“Of course she’s okay. She has me to watch over her.”
Even in moments like this, Will finds it in himself to make lame jokes, and I’m not surprised.
Some things never change.
“I mean, now that Haze is out of the picture, she might need a real man.” He wiggles his eyebrows, flexing his bicep and creating a “let me just barf real quick” feeling in me.
I roll my eyes. Typical Will.
“You’re a shitbag, you know that?” Alex says.
“I love you, too, bro.”
I know Will’s kidding, but it doesn’t ease the discomfort flickering in my chest. He’s right. Haze lost the fight. He has to respect the deal he made with my cousin. He’s out of my life.
I can never see him again.
Alex turns to me, tearing me away from the unwelcomed thoughts floating around in my brain. “How are you feeling?”
“She almost died. How would you feel?”
“Shut up,” Alex hisses.
“Honestly?” I wince. “Like I got run over by a truck.”
“Told you.” Will takes a huge bite of pizza.
Alex picks up one of the boxes and opens it. “You hungry?”
“Starving.”
I’d be lying if I said that I don’t almost shed a tear of happiness when I shove the pizza in my mouth in a not-so-classy manner a minute later. I chew on this crappy pizza like it’s the best food I’ve ever had. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I’ve just finished my slice when someone knocks on the door.
“Open up, my hands are full,” a familiar voice calls on the other side.
Will gets up. “What’s the password?”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“This ain’t it.”
“Will, open the door or I’ll kick your ass to China.”
“Fine. Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”
Will unlocks and opens the door. On the other side is my cousin. The very first thing he does when he walks into the room is drop two large suitcases on the stained carpet of the four- walled shithole. My entire life for who knows how many weeks is in there.
“Tell me you brought everything,” I beg.
“Most of it.” Kendrick shrugs.
I don’t bother asking him more questions. In Kendrick’s language, “most of it” means “I brought whatever I could find.” Something tells me he didn’t exactly pick coordinating outfits. It’s a good thing I don’t need to look cute locked inside Tom’s penthouse.
“When are we leaving?” Will asks, throwing himself onto the other bed.
“I talked to my mom on the way in. Tom should be here soon. He needs to speak to Winter, then we’re gone. It’s a four-hour drive.”
I don’t have a phone anymore. How the hell am I going to survive the boredom of a four-hour drive? Not to mention I’ll be stuck with Kendrick in an unknown town for a while. I won’t just sit around Tom’s luxurious penthouse all day long, will I?
“I need to get a new phone when we get there,” I say.
Kendrick turns to me and slides his hand inside his back pocket. “That won’t be necessary.”
In his hand is the phone I thought was gone forever. The screen is completely shattered. I can’t believe it still works.
This is some Nokia-level shit right there.
“I thought I’d lost it at the Downside.”
“You did. Haze returned it to us. That’s how we tracked Tanner, remember?”
I nod, shifting uncomfortably. Am I going to feel this way every time someone brings up his name?
If so, I didn’t sign up for this. I want a refund on my feelings, thank you very much.
At first, I’m surprised that he’d just give me my old phone back when it contains Haze’s number and all of our messages. I unlock it and it doesn’t even take a second for me to understand that I was right: it was too good to be true.
He erased the data.
I’m far from the type to memorize numbers. Would I even call Haze if I could? I can wonder all I want, but it’s useless. It’s not an option. Kendrick made sure of that.
My cousin notices the torn-up look on my face and sits on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s a bit radical, but I promise it’s for the best. This guy is toxic, Winter. You have to see that. He’s the one who put you into this mess in the first place. You’re never seeing him again. I mean it. He’s… wrong for you.”
“He’s wrong for you. Seriously? That’s the best you’ve got?” I mutter, fighting the urge to give him a piece of my mind.
That’s the thing: I know he’s wrong for me. Knowing it is exactly what’s driving me insane. I know Haze Adams is the last thing I could possibly need on this earth. I know I should run as far as humanly possible. But just because I know it, doesn’t mean I don’t replay every moment we shared in my head. Just because I know it, doesn’t mean I’m going to stop thinking about the way he pinned me up against the wall and kissed me in that motel room. Just because my mind knows, doesn’t mean my heart agrees. And that’s exactly why I can’t get him out of my system. I can’t shake him. No matter how hard I try.
He’s about to answer when Thomas and Maria walk in, Tom holding a bunch of medical tools I can’t identify and Maria carrying crutches.
“You’ve been given a second chance, Winter. Look at it as a fresh start. It’s a new life. It’s over. You’ll be safe until you graduate. What else could you possibly want?” Kendrick says before stepping aside.
He didn’t say what he truly meant, but I know him well enough to read between the lines. What he means by a new life is… a life without Haze . And he’s wrong. I don’t believe it. It’s not over. In my heart, I know…
It’s just the beginning.