20. Blocked Numbers
20
Blocked Numbers
“I’m starving,” Kendrick says, pulling up to a fast-food restaurant’s drive-through and rolling his window down. We’ve been on the road for way too many hours to count. Haze really did take me to the middle of nowhere. My cousin and I haven’t exchanged a word since we left the lake house. I’ve decided that I’m not in the mood to talk to him or anyone ever again, period.
“Hi, can I get four cheeseburgers—extra cheese, no ketchup—large fries, and a Coke?” Kendrick says.
I’m surprise that he got me two burgers. I’d barely eat one.
“Do you want anything?” He turns to me, and I scoff.
Of course this is all for him.
“You’re a pig, you know that?”
“There it is,” he says, proud of himself.
“What?”
“That smile.”
He’s right. I’ve almost never truly smiled since the day Riley showed up. It’s been a while since my life’s been nothing but tears and constant worries.
“Sir? Your order, please?” the employee insists.
“Right. Sorry. She’ll have a salad and water.”
“I’m sorry, what? Are you putting me on a diet?” I punch him in the arm.
“You’ll need to look your best for your next boy.” He wiggles his eyebrows, and I shudder, the thought stamping down my rib cage.
My next boy.
My next boy that won’t be Haze.
We get our food, and Kendrick parks the car.
“Come on, you’re driving.” He unbuckles his seat belt.
“What? Why?”
“I want to eat.”
“So I get to drive while you stuff your face? Thanks a lot.” I roll my eyes and switch to the driver’s side against my will. “How the hell am I going to eat a salad while driving?”
“I guess I’ll have to feed you.” He laughs.
“I hate you, you know that?”
We get back on the highway. We’re ridiculous. Kendrick trying to feed me while I drive, covering me in salad dressing and croutons, is a show I should probably pitch to Netflix. He makes sure to mock me every time he gives me a bite, and after a miserably long while, he says that my driving makes him sick and we switch places again.
What? I’m a good driver.
Sometimes.
After a few years, the GPS informs us that we only have one hour left on the road.
“Hey, did you guys find a replacement for Blake?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I wait a second for him to go on, but he doesn’t, so I say, “That’s it? That’s all I get? Who is he?”
“Some guy.” He shrugs.
I can tell he’s dodging my questions, but I don’t have the mental and physical strength to play detective today. Or ever.
“What about the boys? How are they?”
“They’re good. Alex’s got himself a girlfriend. And Will is still… well, Will .” He chuckles.
“Oh, a girlfriend? Is she nice?”
“Don’t know, never met her. Alex’s barely ever around anymore. His girlfriend’s keeping him busy.”
I ask Kendrick about Kass. Apparently, she’s still working at the pet store, and last he heard she was seeing Luke Jenson, a jock from school who’s been crushing on her forever. She’s been texting me during my time away and asking why her mom was clearly lying to her about where I was. I get it. Maria doesn’t know how much Kass is aware of. She’s trying to protect her.
I didn’t text her back once. I didn’t text any of them back. Not Will, not Kendrick, not Kass. The phone call with Maria was the best I did. It’s like I was caught up in a dream and I didn’t want to wake up.
As for Kendrick, he tells me that him leaving town without a reason—or at least, a reason that he could share with her—didn’t sit well with Nicole and they’re over… again.
“My phone’s dying. I need your GPS,” he says, but it’s more of an order than a request.
I dread turning on my phone. I turned it off so that I wouldn’t know if Haze contacted me. I do as Kendrick asked and ache when I see the many new voicemails and texts on my screen. They’re all from him.
“Don’t listen to them,” Kendrick says.
“What are you talking about?”
“He left you voicemails, didn’t he?”
I don’t even have to ask him how he knew for him to tell me.
“That’s Haze Adams we’re talking about. He’s not going to stop fighting for you. Eventually, he’ll find out Riley’s a dirty liar and come running back.”
“Maybe I should just listen to one.” I can’t help but crave his voice. Just one more time. Then I’ll get him out of my system.
“If you want my advice, don’t do this to yourself.”
He’s right. There’s no point. It takes everything I have to delete his texts. No matter how many times he apologizes, he can’t just “unhave” a kid. His apologies wouldn’t change anything. This can never work. We’re a lost cause.
My finger selects his number, and I take a deep breath…
Before pressing the Block This Contact button.
Kendrick parks the car in Maria’s driveway, and I’m tempted to tell him to get back on the road. Here we are. Back to the place where it all began. Both Kass’s and Maria’s car are here. Kendrick said they both took the day off work when he told them about our return.
“You ready?” Kendrick asks.
“Not even close,” I say.
We pull the trunk open to grab our luggage, and I’m exhausted just thinking about all the questions Maria and Kass will ask us the second we step foot inside the house.
The first thing we see walking through the front door is my aunt cooking dinner. I salivate at the smell of her food . I’m still starving. My salad didn’t want to be in my mouth and apparently much preferred being on my clothes.
Her face lights up when she sees us.
“Winter. Thank the Lord.” She runs to me and pulls me into one of her familiar hugs. When her arms close around me, I want to cry an ocean. I’ve been holding it back since I left the lake house. Since I left him … I knew Kendrick wouldn’t understand, so I pushed it down, but I can’t do this anymore. I could use Allie, my best friend, right about now, but she’s back in Toronto. I’ve been texting her the entire time I was in Colton Gate, but it’s not even close to the real thing. There’s so much she doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know about Haze. Only she can make me laugh even in the saddest moments. I wish she was here.
But she isn’t. I’m alone. No matter how surrounded I am.
Kendrick says something about going to meet the boys—who he hasn’t seen in a while—and quickly leaves. He slams the door, and I start apologizing to Maria, trying to somehow make up for all the worries I’ve forced on her without meaning to in the past few weeks.
“Is that Winter?” I hear Kass call from the second floor.
Footsteps come stomping down the stairs, and my cousin turns the corner rapidly. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in the hall. I look like hell. My eyes are still puffy from crying. When Kass sees me, she doesn’t say a word. One quick look at my face is all she needs. She captures me into her embrace. Again, the hug awakens in me this undeniable urge to cry, but this time, I surrender. I let the tears flow. I cry, and I cry, and I cry until I can’t breathe. Maria joins in on the hug, and they hold me in silence, telling me that everything is going to be okay.
Maybe… I’m not completely alone, after all.
“I get it. He was trying to do right by his son. His hands were tied.” Kass throws herself back onto my bed and stares at the ceiling. “Oh, and what’s that Riley bitch’s address? I just want to talk.”
I laugh at her question. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her. It felt so liberating to pour my heart out. I told her everything that happened between Haze and me, from the first day at the lake house to the last—okay, maybe I didn’t mention our steamy times—and she turned out to be way more understanding than I anticipated. I can barely recognize her. She’s far from the girl who once chastised me for sleeping at Haze’s place forever ago. It’s like she can relate. Either her relationship with Luke is more serious than I thought, or she’s been with someone else. Kass was always quick to judge, but somehow she’s different now. She understands boy drama.
Maria couldn’t stick around for the story. Turns out the emergency at the hospital didn’t care if she’d taken the day off. They desperately needed staff, and she ended up going anyway. She asked me if I was okay thirty more times before leaving, and I told her that I’d be fine. We all have to experience heartbreak one day or another, right?
Only, the word heartbreak doesn’t seem appropriate. This feels like a heart explode , or a heart destroy , or maybe even a heart hammer. Someone add these to the dictionary.
“Canada, come say hello!” a voice shouts from downstairs.
Will. I missed the idiot. As soon as she hears Will’s voice, Kass hugs me, says that she has to do homework, and walks out of my room. I’m a bit surprised by her sudden departure but don’t think much of it. I walk down to the kitchen and see Will and Alex standing next to the door. It feels like I haven’t seen them in ages. I hug Alex first. Then comes Will’s turn.
“Wow, you look like hell,” he says mid-hug.
“Still completely tactless, I see.” I pull away.
“Always.” Will smirks. “Hey, where’s the new guy?”
“He’s outside. He had to take a call,” Alex replies.
“Oh, the new guy’s here?” I ask Kendrick, curious to see who they chose as a replacement for Blake. Immediately, his face changes and he rubs at the back of his neck, which has always been a gigantic red flag when it comes to my cousin.
“Winter, about that…” He seems uncomfortable.
Will’s eyes widen. “Wait, you didn’t tell her?”
“Tell me what?”
“Will, shut up,” my cousin hisses.
“Well, that’s not going to be awkward at all,” Will scoffs.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
Kendrick steps forward. “There’s something you need to know about the new guy. He’s…” He doesn’t have a chance to finish his sentence.
The front door opens and someone walks inside Maria’s kitchen. But it’s not just anyone. It’s the one person I thought I’d never see again. The boys turn to me, waiting for a reaction of some sort, but I can’t bring myself to give it to them. All I can do is call his name.
“Ryder?”