Chapter 24
MAGGIE
The clock on my return to my family’s good graces was ticking.
I could feel it. As I looked out at the gardens of a small boutique hotel not far from my parents’ house, I knew all the way down to the very marrow of my bones that if I didn’t produce solid evidence of a wedding being planned very soon, they would cut me off again.
Probably for good this time.
Every conversation with my mother ended with a pointed reminder that we were moving forward. My father kept saying the dreaded words, responsibility and expectations. Marcus, while he was considerably less cold about it, was constantly telling me little things about Daniel.
I knew that they were close and I appreciated that he’d listened to my concerns about not knowing the man I was going to marry. Obviously, he was trying to help me feel like I was getting to know Daniel through him, but that was different.
Plenty of people all around the world felt like they knew their favorite celebrities simply because they heard or read about them, but that didn’t mean they actually knew who that person was.
Even learning true things instead of just gossip about another human being didn’t automatically mean that you knew them.
That was the problem I had to solve before I could fully unveil my completely insane wedding plan.
I had to confirm that the groom still wanted to do it.
No matter how many nice things Marcus said about him, the truth was that Daniel might well have changed his mind and I still didn’t know him even well enough to know if he would have told me that over a text or if that was why he wanted to talk in person.
A few days after I’d returned home and given Ryan back his apartment, I’d called Daniel. Surprisingly, he’d answered on the first ring. It was the most we’d ever spoken, a simple conversation asking if we could talk, hammering out when and where, and agreeing to do it in person.
Daniel had suggested the cafe at this hotel, where I now sat on a terrace overlooking a perfectly manicured garden. The scent of roses wafted on a light breeze and the sky was a clear, perfect blue overhead.
I would have expected a place like this to be packed on a day as beautiful as today, but it was practically empty, only a few other people sitting inside, sipping coffee with their laptops open.
Daniel had assured me that we’d be safe if we met here.
No looky-loos or random snapshots of us appearing in tomorrow’s paper.
I had no idea how he knew that, but I was also almost too afraid to ask. What if he knows they’re discreet because this is where he brings his women? What if he wants to keep bringing them here after we’re married? What if—
My thoughts slammed to a stop in their tracks when the man in question appeared in the French doors leading to my terrace. Daniel’s broad shoulders filled the frame, his button-down shirt perfectly pressed, and his sleek black hair as perfectly styled as always.
He smiled when he saw me, winding his way around the few empty tables scattered across the space and pulling out the chair across from me. “Hi, Maggie.”
“Hey, Daniel.”
I expected him to sit down, but instead, he came around to my side of the table, leaned over, and brushed a polite kiss to my cheek.
It was nothing really. Almost brotherly, in fact.
A month after we were supposed to have become husband and wife, and that had been the most physical contact we’d ever had.
To my instant disappointment, I also didn’t feel a single thing over having his lips on my skin for the first time. There were no tingles. No sparks. Just a deep, absolute certainty that if we ever did have sex, even if only purely for baby-making purposes, neither of us would enjoy it very much.
It was clear from the moment he pulled back and looked into my eyes as he sat down that he hadn’t felt anything either. He still looked just as bored and put-together as always. To him, it’d probably been akin to greeting his mother.
Great. Our marriage will be entirely passionless.
Not that I’d been expecting anything else, but if there had been perhaps just a slight flush on his cheeks or even only a single dilated pupil or flared nostril, I would have grabbed onto it with both hands. At least it would’ve given me hope.
Despite how odd only one dilated pupil or flared nostril would be.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out as I looked at him across the table. Apologies weren’t really my thing. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d apologized without being forced, but it looked like I’d unlocked a new level of personal growth. “I mean it, Daniel. I really am sorry.”
Wow. Ryan would be so proud.
Daniel blinked a few times in rapid succession, like he hadn’t expected me to actually come out and say it. Same, bro. Seriously, same.
“Apology accepted,” he said after only the briefest of pauses.
My eyebrows shot up, disbelief winding through me like a serpent. “You’re accepting it just like that?”
“I’m not about to make you grovel for my forgiveness, Maggie. What happened, happened. I don’t like to dwell on the past.”
“Yeah, but do you actually forgive me?” I asked. “Or is it more that you just don’t want to talk about it?”
He gave me a calm, tiny smile. “I’ve had a month to think about it.
I’m okay now. Honestly, I forgive you. Neither of us could’ve predicted how we were going to feel or react that day, so while I would like to understand what happened, I don’t blame you for not being able to force yourself to go through with it. ”
I almost asked him if he had to force himself too, but there would be time for that later. We were here for my apology tour. The I-want-to-understand-my-future-husband tour would have to wait.
“I was going to do it,” I started quietly. “The whole day and even on my way downstairs from the bridal suite, I was going to go through with it, but then I got outside and saw my dad, and suddenly…”
“It sank in?” he guessed.
I nodded, offering him a half-grimace, half-smile thing I couldn’t stop from taking over my entire face. Bet I really look like the picture of elegance and grace right now, huh, Mom?
“Suddenly, my body just froze. I was so nervous all morning, but when I walked out, I started panicking too and it just…” I trailed off again, took a deep breath, and finally managed to say the words.
“It just didn’t feel like me, you know? The wedding was beautiful, but I realized in that moment that I didn’t know most of the people there.
My shoes were killing me. I couldn’t breathe in my dress. ”
Daniel didn’t interrupt, his eyes fixed intently on mine with no faraway glint coming over them.
In that moment, I learned that he was obviously rather patient.
He was actually listening instead of peppering me with all the questions I knew he must have and he wasn’t tensing up either, which had to mean that he wasn’t already preparing a counterargument.
“I’m not sure if anyone ever asked you what you wanted,” I said softly. “I don’t know if a beach wedding was your idea or if you even had any opinions at all, but when it hit me that I was at my wedding and I hadn’t chosen a single part of it, it felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.”
“It wasn’t my idea,” he replied a beat after I’d fallen silent, as if he’d waited just a second to see if I was going to carry on, but when I didn’t, he had felt it was important to let me know as soon as possible that I hadn’t run out on his dream wedding.
“My father told me what was happening and our mothers handled the rest.”
“That sounds familiar.”
One corner of his mouth curved slightly upward. “I thought it might.”
I smiled. “So to be clear, you didn’t want a beach wedding?”
He stared back at me for another moment, then laughed. “No. God, no. I only like sand when it comes with swimming and elaborate cocktails served in a tropical fruit. If those things aren’t involved, it’s just not worth it.”
“Thank God.”
Daniel leaned back in his chair, amusement still shimmering in his eyes. “Okay, so what are you really telling me, Maggie? You don’t want a beach wedding, sure, but is that it? If I’m being honest, I actually thought the beach was your idea. My mother made it sound like your mom had insisted.”
“She might’ve,” I admitted. “My mom has an insane amount of opinions.”
“So does mine,” he said easily. “That appears to be one thing we have in common.”
We looked at each other for just another second before we both laughed again, but I realized as I stared into his eyes under that bright blue sky on a gorgeous sunny day, that Daniel wasn’t my husband. He wasn’t my man.
There was not even the faintest spark of chemistry here. He was handsome, kind, and by all accounts, intelligent too. Someday, he was probably going to make an excellent husband but not to me.
Thankfully, judging by the complete lack of interest in his eyes, I wasn’t his woman either. Relief spiraled through me when that piece of the puzzle clicked. We were both in a corner, but at least we were in it together.
Truly.
“So what do we do now?” I asked. “Our mothers are both going to detest the wedding I want, but that doesn’t matter if you’ve changed your mind about me.”
His eyebrows crept up, genuine surprise flickering in his eyes. “My mind doesn’t matter, Maggie. The offer stands. Of course, I’ll marry you, but right now, I don’t consider us engaged.”
“What are we, then?”
“Nothing,” he said simply. “Nothing but two people whose families have entered into a contract. In a way, I guess that makes us business partners. Or maybe it makes them business partners. I’m not even sure, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s business and it can stay that way.”
As he said it, I would have expected a flash of anger or at least irritation, but he didn’t even sound bitter.
If anything, he sounded relieved. I should’ve been devastated, but instead, it felt like he’d just tugged at the giant knot that’d been sitting right at the center of my chest for months and unraveled all that tension with just a few sentences.
“The fanfare around it all the first time around felt completely forced to me,” he admitted a second later. “If possible, I’d like to skip that if we decide to try again, but outside of that, I defer to you.”
I blinked hard. This should’ve felt like a way out. It wasn’t perfect, but it still could’ve been an out if I just told my parents Daniel didn’t want me.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t true. He’d just said he would still marry me, which meant Ryan had been right. Daniel really was a good man. I almost groaned. Of course, he was right. He’s been right about everything all along.
Daniel was exactly the type of man I should be grateful for. He just didn’t make my heart beat faster.
“You defer to me.” I finally said. “Does that mean we’re not engaged?”
Daniel shrugged. “We don’t have to be, but we do both have a lot riding on this marriage, so if you do decide to show up at the altar, I’ll be there with you.”
He stood up and checked the time. “Whatever you want, Maggie. That’s what it means. Just let me know on the day, okay? If you’re not going to go through with it, I’d like to not be at the altar either this time.”
“You’re leaving?” I asked when he slipped his hands into his pockets and inclined his chin like he considered it settled. “Don’t you want to know what I’d like for the wedding or tell me what you want included?”
“Nah, I’m okay. To be honest, I’ve never spent any time thinking about my wedding or what I want for it. As long as you’re happy, I’ll be fine. What I don’t want, however, is to be late for my next meeting, so I’ll see you around, okay?”
“Okay,” I said softly, watching in a state of utter disbelief as he spun around and left without looking back.
Nothing had really changed between us, but it sure felt like everything had. Daniel was leaving it up to me to decide, which meant I had a choice. I could do it my way or not at all, and the very idea of it left me reeling.
Clearly, Daniel didn’t care one way or the other. He didn’t consider us engaged unless I showed up at the altar. He didn’t even want to know where we would be getting married if I decided to go through with it.
Nothing.
He genuinely only planned on showing up if I told him to.
My mind opened up with possibilities then, the thought of planning the wedding with Ryan spurring me on to actually do it. With him by side, it could be really fun and that was something that had been in way too short supply lately.