Chapter 29
RYAN
Stuck in an awkward place after fooling around and almost having sex, Maggie and I were in the process of developing a remarkably sophisticated system of dealing with it.
We were both pretending it hadn’t happened.
While she stared out the passenger window, I kept my eyes strained ahead, trained on the road like I was a Formula One driver. Neither of us mentioned the fact that we’d completely lost our minds and spent most of the night kissing. And doing other stuff.
God, the other stuff.
If it’d been bad, or uncomfortable, or even just a little bit weird doing all those things with her, maybe I would have felt different this morning, but regrettably, it hadn’t been any of those things.
In fact, spending the night with her, even if we hadn’t technically gone all the way, had been the single best sexual experience of my life.
Because it had also been fun. I’d never laughed with a woman in bed until her.
I’d never actually enjoyed the pillow talk while we both recuperated.
Hell, I’d never wanted to spend the rest of the week with her right where we had been, without even taking things any further than we already had.
Which was truly, desperately unfortunate, because it also meant that I didn’t regret it.
The only thing I did regret about the choices I’d made recently was agreeing to plan her wedding to another man. A man she was no longer even engaged to, and yet, we were planning a wedding like they were going full steam ahead.
Honestly, when I thought about it like that, it made me realize how fucked up our current situation was, but at the end of the day, I’d promised I would get Maggie down the aisle and I kept my promises.
What happened once she got to that altar, however, was her business.
I couldn’t exactly force her to say her vows, and even if I could’ve, I wouldn’t.
Which was why I would have preferred to run the errand we were on by myself. I desperately needed some time to gain perspective on all this. Clearly.
However, the errand couldn’t be avoided and Maggie had been adamant about coming along. I got it, though. I wouldn’t have hung back for something this big either.
We were about to see a man about a carnival, and considering it was one of the things she was most excited about, it made sense she’d want to be here.
On the other hand, as we drove onto the dirt lot housing the carnival, I realized the man we were about to see might just be a serial killer who specialized in amusement park themed killings.
Holy shit. This is creepy.
Rusty trailers lined the lot, half-assembled rides towering around it. Coils of cables, piles of painted metal, and discarded machinery littered the ground, but Maggie grinned like she’d just discovered utopia.
“This is amazing.”
“No, this is where people come minutes before they disappear.”
She laughed. “It’s not that bad.”
“I’m sorry, but are we in the same place right now?”
She opened her door as soon as I rolled to a stop, climbing out of the car before I’d even killed the engine. Without a care in the world, she waltzed right up to the gate surrounding the inhabited part of the lot, reaching for it just as I saw a very good reason not to.
“Maggie!” I yelled. “Wait.”
She turned, but before she could ask me why or what was happening, she unlatched the gate and two massive bull mastiffs came charging toward us. Maggie squealed and I lunged forward, preparing to throw myself between her and two hundred pounds of angry dog.
It barely even occurred to me that I was fully prepared to sacrifice my life to save hers before she dropped to her knees and the dogs launched themselves at her like a pair of furry cannon balls.
“Maggie!” I shouted, sprinting across the yard as she disappeared underneath them, but then I heard laughter instead of screaming and I slammed to a stop.
One of the dogs was licking her face while the other was drooling all over her hair, both their tails wagging so hard, it almost looked like they were about to fall over. Meanwhile, Maggie was literally crying with joy.
“Oh my God,” she gasped, wrapping both arms around the nearest dog. “I love them.”
I did a slow double take, seriously wondering if I was hallucinating. “They could’ve killed you.”
“No, they couldn’t. They’re babies, Ryan.”
“Babies?” I snorted. “Those are not babies, Mags. They’re the size of small horses.”
She dissolved into another fit of laughter just as a man came barreling out of one of the trailers.
“Brutus! Blanche!” He grabbed the collar of the first dog, dragging him off her. “Come on, you big idiot.”
Maggie grinned up at him. “Brutus?”
“That’s him.” He grabbed the other dog’s collar too. “This is Blanche. They’re married, a real enthusiastic husband and wife team who are determined to bathe every visitor in love.”
Maggie sat up, her hair completely messed up and her cheeks wet from those happy tears, but she was still painfully fucking gorgeous. “They’re adorable. I’m Maggie, and this is Ryan.”
The owner looked at her like she’d descended from heaven. “Steven. Do you really like Mastiffs?”
“I love them.”
“You’re in luck, then.” He extended a hand and pulled her to her feet. “Blanche has just had another litter of puppies.”
My eyes slid shut. This was going downhill. Rapidly.
Steven led Maggie to the center of the yard, introducing her to every dog and employee as they went. Most of them—the employees, not the dogs—looked like they’d been released from prison on a technicality.
Beards and tattoos abounded. So did scars, side-eyed glances, and more than a few suspicious mutters I could’ve sworn were about my car.
I instantly disliked all of it, but Maggie was grinning like Steven had handed over the keys to Disneyland, which made my objections seem irrelevant.
So I pulled out my phone and cleared my throat. “Alright, let’s talk numbers.”
I spent the next hour negotiating dates, equipment, transportation, and insurance in case somebody lost a limb at Maggie’s wedding, but Steven was thrilled and Maggie was ecstatic.
That was the only thing that mattered to me right now, her happiness.
Even if it meant planning a carnival for a wedding that might not even happen.
If she wanted a potential public safety disaster on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, then by God, I would give her one. Maggie, on the other hand, once again wasn’t interested in the logistics.
I wasn’t sure if she just suffered from a severe dislike of admin in general or if it was the planning of this event in particular that got to her, but while we hammered out an actual plan, she wandered away.
After promising Steven I’d send a proper contract containing everything we’d agreed to once I got back to my office, I found her sitting on a patch of grass next to a large, wooden pen.
A puppy with paws the size of serving dishes lay on her lap, flat on his back while she absently scratched his tummy. She was smiling down at him, but she seemed far away, like maybe she didn’t even see him at all.
For his part, the puppy was relaxed as could be, his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth and his eyes half closed. I cleared my throat as I approached them, sliding my hands into my pockets to keep from reaching for her.
“So, this is where you ran off to,” I said. “You found the puppy pen. Why am I not surprised?”
She glanced up at me, still smiling softly as she sighed and motioned at the dog with her free hand. “Isn’t he the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?”
“No.”
“Come on, Ryan.” She lowered her face a little closer to his. “Just look at him. He’s adorable.”
“He’s going to be huge.” I inclined my head toward the car. “We’re also done here, so if you’d like to say goodbye to your new friend, we can get going.”
“Nah, she can keep him,” Steven said, appearing at my side with a proud grin on his face. “He’s ready to go and he’s a beaut. He should have a home where someone loves him that much.”
Maggie’s face lit up. “Can I keep him? Really?”
Steven opened his mouth, but I took a step forward and shook my head. “No, you can’t keep him.”
“Blanche and Brutus both have good bloodlines,” Steven said to me, as if that might be the issue. “They’ve also got sweet temperaments, and so far, it looks like this little guy shares that.”
“Yeah, still no.”
The puppy yawned and Maggie looked at me like I’d kicked him. “But he likes me.”
“He likes that you’re holding him and scratching his tummy.”
“No.” She gave him an adoring smile. “He loves me and I love him.”
“You met him thirty minutes ago.”
She shrugged. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
One of the other carnies wandered over. “You should let her have him. He’ll be good to her. Protection. Companionship. Cuddles. He’ll do it all.”
Another man, who had been behind the latest addition to our conversation, nodded his agreement. “Blanche and Brutus are great. They’ve been with us a long time. You can’t go wrong with one of their pups.”
I looked around at the three possible fugitives and grimaced. “Are all of you seriously taking her side?”
They nodded as if they shared a single hive mind and Maggie smiled triumphantly. “Great. America is a democracy, after all, so there you have it.” She hugged the puppy closer and batted her lashes at me. “Just say yes, Ryan. Please?”
“No,” I said firmly and her smile instantly disappeared, making me feel like a sack of shit when I shook my head again, but this was the one time I was going to put my foot down and say no to her. “Maggie, just think about this. You don’t even know where you’re going to be living a month from now.”
Her face fell and she looked down at the puppy again when his giant paw landed on her wrist. My resolve almost collapsed on the spot, but instead, I crouched down in front of her.
“Look, you’re a grown woman. If you want a puppy, get it, but if you actually go through with the wedding and send the invitations out again, I’ll deliver this one to you myself. ”
She looked up at me again with hope brimming in her eyes. “Really?”
“Really.”
Her head cocked. “Do you promise?”
“I promise. Send out the invitations and I’ll come get him for you personally, but right now isn’t a good time and I think you know that.”
She paused for a beat before hugging the puppy one last time and then gently picking him up to return him to the pen. He started whining immediately as she set him down, a genuinely pained expression crossing her face as she cooed to him.
Meanwhile, I felt like the villain in a children’s movie, but I was serious about this.
A dog was a major commitment and Maggie hadn’t being doing well with those lately.
Plus, if I let her do this on a whim and either Daniel or Cliff took issue with it, I was going to get stuck with that monstrous thing and neither of my apartments was suitable for a dog that size.
Which meant that if we left here today with that puppy, I was looking at likely going house-hunting in the very near future. Still, when her eyes met mine again and I saw the disappointment shimmering in them, my heart sank.
“This is cruel, Ryan.”
“It’s practical,” I said, pushing back up to my feet. “He deserves space and stability, don’t you think?”
She looked at me like her mind had gone back to the same place mine suddenly had—last night and how neither of us felt stable this morning.
Sure, we’d managed to stop before going any further, which was all well and fine, but it hadn’t been because we hadn’t wanted each other. And that was a problem.
A fucking big one.
I honestly didn’t care about Daniel in all this. As much as he was a good guy, he wasn’t invested in Maggie or their marriage. He’d do it if he had to but only because he had to.
Maggie, however, I cared about. I didn’t want her getting hurt. Even if protecting her meant eventually becoming the asshole who stopped whatever this was before it became something neither of us could control, but not today.
Today, she was so happy that she was glowing. I wasn’t going to ruin that. At the same time, however, I did want to ruin this wedding. Which brings me full circle to our current extreme lack of stability. No puppy deserves to get dropped into the shit-show that is either of lives right now.
At the end of the day, I knew how arranged marriages worked and the fact that they weren’t engaged didn’t mean she wouldn’t marry Daniel eventually. Maybe she thought this little scheme she was running would buy her more time to get out of it, but it wouldn’t work.
In the end, whether it was at this crazy wedding or not, they would get married. I just didn’t want to be reasonable about it anymore. I didn’t want to deliver her to another man and I definitely didn’t want to watch her walk down the aisle toward anyone else.
Not at all.