Chapter 31
RYAN
It was official. My teenage hormones had come back to kill me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted a woman this badly. It was like I didn’t even just want her. I needed her.
My heart was slamming against my ribs like a sledgehammer and I felt oddly frantic, heat flooding my cheeks and my hands shaking when I gripped the hem of her t-shirt. Maggie writhed underneath me, tearing at my clothes in turn like she’d get to keep me forever if she just got me naked fast enough.
Not that I was complaining.
This was insane. I’d expected her to slam on the brakes once I’d told her how I felt.
That was why I’d done it. I hadn’t been able to go into another night of fooling around while she might be thinking it meant nothing, and since we hadn’t gotten around to talking about it today, I’d figured I should warn her.
Instead of taking it as a warning, however, she was acting like the starting pistol had been fired on the rest of our lives together. While logically, I knew nothing could be further from the truth, it didn’t feel that way right now.
I yanked the t-shirt over her head with all the grace of a stampeding buffalo, and in turn, she ripped at my buttons so hard that some of them lost thread.
Neither of us had any respect for our clothes right now, though.
We just kept right on going until there was nothing left between us.
I knew how dangerous that was. Especially in the state I was in, but even halfway out of my mind, I kissed a path down the length of her body, keeping my cock well clear of anywhere that might produce a baby later.
Maggie gasped and dug her fingers into my hair, her hips already arching toward my mouth by the time I reached her pussy. I didn’t make her wait, sealing my lips over her clit with that same desperate sense of urgency I’d been feeling since she’d told me she would’ve said yes.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, my brain was still trying to piece together why that was so significant. I knew it was. My brain just wasn’t the organ in control right now, so the answer kept evading me.
At some point, I’d get it, but for now, with the taste of her in my mouth and her thighs squeezing my head, I didn’t give a shit about answers. I just kept licking and sucking until I had to hold her hips down to keep her from breaking my nose, but I still kept going.
Losing myself in the task, I didn’t even know how long it took before she was quaking under me, her grip on my hair so tight that it stung as she screamed my name.
I lapped up every drop of her release, breathing hard as I kissed my way back up to her mouth and accepted I’d have to roll off her before I got too tempted, but just as I sealed my lips over hers, she hooked her ankles together around my butt, and the next thing I knew, the searing, wet heat of her slid against my shaft.
I practically growled, sucking in a sharp breath as I tried to lift my hips away. “Maggie, I can’t. Just give me a minute.”
“But you can.” She stroked her fingers into my hair, those hazel eyes somehow still burning with need as she looked up at me. “I want you, Ryan. Nothing is going to change that.”
My eyebrows snapped together, my entire body trembling as I considered denying her—and myself. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve been sure for a long time,” she said quietly, the words dripping with meaning.
Or maybe I just wanted them to be, but either way, she kept her eyes locked on mine and I didn’t see so much as an ounce of hesitation.
“This, right now, is only for us, Ryan. It’s only about us. Don’t let the noise in.”
I stared into her eyes for another beat before I let the idea take root. She wasn’t wrong. Right now, there was only the two of us in this cottage. We didn’t have to let someone else—something else—come in. “Let me get a condom.”
She gave me a soft, genuinely happy smile and kissed me slowly before I sat up and reached for my pants. My wallet was still in my pocket, so I pulled it out and slid the one condom I always kept on me just in case out of its slot.
Pinching it between my fingers, I turned and handed it over to her. “This is the only one I’ve got.”
A devilish smirk danced across her lips as she reached for it. “Let’s put it to good use, then. We can always order more later.”
I groaned, my eyes sliding shut as I dug deep for control while she rolled it on. Bursts of pleasure shot through me with every brush of her hand. When she pressed a playful kiss to my tip once it was covered, I got very close to losing it, but somehow, I managed to hang on.
As she straightened back up, I took her hands and helped her onto my lap until she was straddling me.
Then I let my head fall against the couch, eyes locked on hers as I guided her down with my hands firm on her hips.
As soon as her entrance wrapped around my head, I had to fight to keep from moving, every instinct I had screaming at me to thrust and to do it hard.
That wasn’t how I wanted this to go, though. This was my first time with her and I wanted it to be special. Whatever the fuck that means.
So I let her take the lead, finally taking over only when I really couldn’t hold back anymore. Maggie’s breasts bounced right in front of my face and I caught one of her nipples between my teeth, taking the other in my hand but keeping my eyes on hers.
Always.
I kept a close eye on every one of her reactions as I moved faster, harder, underneath her, and when her fingers curled around my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin, I felt her contract around me and I lost it.
The orgasm shot through me like a fireball, exploding out of me from someplace so deep, I hadn’t even known it was there.
Maggie came with me, her mouth popping open and her brow furrowed in concentration until it finally smoothed out again. In the aftermath, we collapsed side by side on the couch and I pulled a blanket over us, tossing the pillow behind me to the floor to make more space.
So sated in the moment that I suddenly couldn’t keep my eyes open, I drew her into my arms and fell asleep, waking God only knew how long later with rain gently pelting the windows.
Maggie’s head was tucked under my chin, her body warm and soft against my side and her hand resting lightly right over my heart.
I thought she was asleep as I lay there, staring at the ceiling and trying not to freak the fuck out when reality slowly crept in. She fit against me far too well for it to feel like we’d made a mistake, though.
“What if we just stayed here and didn’t go back to the city?” she asked quietly a moment later.
I sighed, unfortunately already knowing the answer to that particular question. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it out loud in blunt terms. “We have to go back, Maggie. This isn’t how it should go.”
“I know, but we can make it go this way anyway.”
I turned and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
Maggie was a dreamer. I’d known that since we were kids.
She saw possibility everywhere and I loved that more than I had any business loving anything about her, but the softness in her eyes right now was slowly killing me.
“We can’t, baby. I want to, but we can’t. ”
“I want you,” she countered, and my heart started pounding as she shifted even closer. “I want you and not just physically. What if this was our wedding, Ryan?”
I stared at her, probably gawking a little bit. “What?”
“What if we got married instead?”
My mind went blank. “What are you even saying right now?”
“I’m saying that we could lay it all out on the table,” she said quietly. “We could tell our families what we want and how we’re aligned. It feels right, Ry. Even you have to be able to see past all the social stuff and admit it. It feels right.”
It did feel right, but that didn’t mean it was. Even so, I sighed and kissed her again, slowly and tenderly with absolutely no rush to it this time, but then her phone began ringing and she groaned against my mouth.
“Please tell me that’s not mine.”
“It’s yours.”
She pulled away, grabbed the phone from the coffee table, glanced at the screen, and grimaced. “It’s Marcus.”
“Yeah.” I blew out a heavy breath and dropped back against the couch. “That figures.”
Her eyes remained on mine as she slid her thumb across the screen and answered. “Hey, Marcus.”
I braced myself for her to just come out with it.
Maggie was unpredictable that way. If she really had decided that she wanted this, there would be no stopping her from telling him everything and just trying to dictate how it would all move forward from there, but instead, she listened to him for a few moments. Then she nodded.
“Yeah, I’ll be back in the city later today.” She paused to listen again. “Yes, I understand. I know, Marcus. Okay. Yeah. I’ll be there.”
After another pause to listen, she hung up and sighed. “I’m expected for tea. It’s my first public-facing event since the whole runaway-bride situation.”
I dragged a hand over my face. Well, hello, earth. It’s really not good to see you.
“What are we doing, Maggie?” I asked after just staring up at her for a few long moments.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, cuddling back into my arm. “It does feel good though, doesn’t it?”
I nodded and curled my arm around her once more, knowing that this felt better than anything in a long time, but my feelings for her had been growing steadily for the last few weeks and they were becoming more intense by the day.
Underneath all that, however, was a growing pit in my stomach of guilt and shame over what we were doing.
Maggie and Daniel weren’t together. They weren’t in love and she wasn’t engaged to him, but it still felt like I was doing something wrong. I suddenly felt slimy, like I was doing exactly what my father had done, and that?
I wasn’t sure it was a feeling I could live with. Not for anything in the world—and honestly, not even for Maggie Pembroke.