Chapter 35
RYAN
Iwatched Daniel take off after Maggie with my heart in my throat and regret already burning a hole through my soul. That should’ve been me and yet, I couldn’t very well race after her when I was the person she was running from this time.
Besides, with the news that the wedding was definitely back on out there now, it would only make things worse for her publicly if she was seen arguing with me on a sidewalk. It was better this way. No matter how much it hurt to let her go.
“What the hell just happened?” Marcus asked a few full seconds later, looking completely bewildered as he looked between me and the door. “Was it something I said?”
“No.” I set my drink down carefully, ignoring how hard Holden was shaking his head behind Marcus and standing to look him in the eye.
If I was going to ruin my life, I wanted to do it the honorable way.
Not that it would make a difference or soften the blow, but still. “I’m in love with your sister, Marcus.”
Holden planted his face in his hands but stood too, lingering like he wasn’t sure if he was about to have to break up a fight.
Marcus didn’t take a swing at me, though.
His eyes merely narrowed in confusion as he glanced back at the door like he was thinking about taking off after her too, even if only to confirm the truth of what I’d just said.
“You’re what now?” he asked, finally swinging his gaze back to mine. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“I know, but I’m in love with her and that’s why she ran. Well, it’s probably more because she now thinks I was being paid to spend time with her, so thanks for that, but the long and short of it is that she ran because of me. Not you.”
“You’re in love with her?” he repeated slowly, staring at me like I’d just announced I was joining a cult in Belize that existed exclusively to help protect the swamps from Toucans. When he eventually managed to speak again, only one word came out. “Why?”
I ignored the question despite every urge to launch into a monologue about how great she was.
It was highly doubtful that would be helpful in this situation, so I stuck to the facts instead.
“What your family is putting her through is insane. I realize that Daniel is your best friend and you probably can’t fathom why she wouldn’t want to be with him, but she’s planning this completely crazy wedding in the hopes that for once in her life, your parents will see her for who she is. ”
Holden sighed loudly, swiping up a full drink I was ninety percent sure wasn’t even his from the bar. “This is escalating pretty fast, Ry. Consider landing the plane.”
I rolled my eyes, but he wasn’t wrong, so I looked back at Marcus, who still hadn’t said another word, and made my point.
“She’s hoping that if they can just see her for who she really is, they’ll lay off her and let her be her weird little self instead of someone’s wife.
At least until she can find someone they’ll approve of who will actually embrace her quirkiness instead of trying to pretend it doesn’t exist.”
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw and reached for my drink, draining it in one long gulp before setting the glass back down on the counter with a soft thump.
“She deserves that, don’t you think? She deserves someone who’ll love her for exactly who she is, and I don’t know him that well, but somehow, I doubt Daniel is going to want a wife who insists on having a carnival as a wedding reception and a potentially haunted chapel as a backdrop for the ceremony. Just some food for thought.”
Holden groaned. “You really are screwed.”
“Truly, madly, and deeply,” I agreed, then stormed out after them.
As soon as I pushed through the doors, rain drops stung my overheated face and soaked through my shirt, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. Maggie and Daniel stood under a streetlight just down the way, arguing in the rain like this was the final scene of an overly dramatic romance movie.
In this movie, however, I wasn’t the true love who was running after them to save her from choosing the bad guy.
Instead, I suddenly saw the situation for exactly what it was.
Daniel was the best choice and I was the bad guy, standing between her and a man who could give her everything she’d been raised to want and need.
He had the money, the prestige, and the family name that actually meant something. The future he could offer her was miles from what she would have with me. Hell, I couldn’t offer half of what he could.
It’s the Thayer curse, isn’t it? Being stuck in the almost or what-if zone.
Maggie turned when she saw me, her face streaked with mascara from a combination of rain and tears. “Is it true? Did Marcus pay you to get me back and to go through with the wedding?”
“Yes.” My voice came out ragged and scratchy against the pain of seeing her this upset and knowing I was the cause, but I swallowed past it. “I’m sorry, Maggie. It’s true.”
Although it was right there at the tip of my tongue, I didn’t tell her that I hadn’t taken a cent despite how many times he’d offered. I could’ve told her, but I didn’t see a way out for us, at least not with a happy ending, which meant I had to take a step back.
Maybe that was what loving her meant. So even as her eyes filled with fresh tears, I looked at Daniel, who was still standing beside her with a furrowed brow and suspicion in his eyes.
“She’s the best person I’ve ever met. Look after her, okay?
She deserves better than what she’s been offered so far. ”
Maggie Pembroke might’ve become the person I couldn’t imagine not having in my life, but I loved her enough to take myself out of the equation. So that’s what I’m doing.
Daniel turned back to Maggie and opened his mouth, but instead of listening to him, she raised a hand and flagged down an approaching taxi.
The driver stopped in a skid of water sloshing over the sidewalk, but she didn’t even seem to notice, just yanking open the door and disappearing into the back seat.
Neither Daniel nor I tried to stop her, both of us simply watching as she left. Rain ran down my face, soaking me to the bone. Daniel was dripping too. He sighed a few seconds later and backed up until he was next to me.
“Do you think she’s going to come back?”
I stared at the tail lights of the cab as it turned a corner several blocks down the street. “Nope.”
“Yeah, me either.” We stood there for another beat before I felt him glance at me. “Can I buy you a beer?”
A delirious laugh bubbled up from deep in my chest. In what universe do I spend a night drinking beer with a man after helping his fiancée run away from their wedding?
It was absurd, but I swallowed the hysteria and spun back toward the bar feeling like my life had officially become satire. “Sure.”
We sat down at a high-top in the corner and waited for the bartender to deliver the pitcher we’d ordered on our way in.
Holden and Marcus had disappeared, which left Daniel and me completely on our own.
I was sure I’d be hearing from both of the others later, but for now, I poured a beer when the pitcher came and looked down at the rising bubbles in the glass, considering my options for just a beat.
“There’s something I have to tell you, Daniel,” I admitted finally.
He looked at me across the table, halfway through pouring a drink of his own. “What’s that?”
“I slept with your fiancée,” I said, ripping off the band-aid with as little inflection as humanly possible. “I know it won’t make much of a difference, but it wasn’t planned and it won’t happen again.”
He sighed and took a long drink, swallowing before he looked back up at me. “Maggie and I aren’t engaged, Ryan.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t make it less terrible. You might not be engaged, but she is your future wife. As weird as it is to say that out loud.”
“Maybe, but maybe not,” he said easily. “The point is that she and I aren’t together. You didn’t sleep with my anything. She’s free to do what she wants with whoever she wants, and so am I. That’ll be true until the day we say our vows. If we ever even say them at all.”
Both of my eyebrows arched. “You’re taking this suspiciously well.”
“I’m not.” He took another sip of his drink. “I’m just not surprised, is all. I knew from the beginning Maggie wanted something I couldn’t give her.”
“Love?” I guessed out loud.
He shrugged. “Sure, that too, but I was more thinking that she wanted a choice. So did I, if I’m being completely honest. I know exactly what I want out of life and it’s not Maggie Pembroke, but here we are.”
Daniel stared into his beer and my heart slammed against my chest. “You don’t want her?”
“Of course not.” He glanced back up at me with a dry, humorless smile on his lips. “I don’t know her, Ryan. How could I want someone who’s practically a stranger?”
“You’ve been so chill about this whole thing, I guess I just assumed…” I trailed off and shook my head. “I don’t know, actually. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Same.” He paused for a beat. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t want this wedding and I know she doesn’t either.
If I had it my way, I’d be on a yacht in the Mediterranean or something, worrying about where to drop anchor for the night instead of feeling like I’m forcing a stranger down the aisle, but I can’t have it that way, can I? ”
He took another drink before bringing his gaze back up to mine. “This is what you were able to avoid, Ryan. It’s the only silver lining I can see in the Thayer fracture, but it’s a pretty fucking bright one. You get to choose. Maggie and I don’t.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked, and it was an honest question. “People keep reminding me we always have choices. Maybe you do, too.”
“I really don’t,” he said after shaking his head. “Trust me, I’ve thought about finding a way out of this a million times, but I’m going to marry her because it’s what’s being asked of me and it’s being asked of me because of money, the estate, and my inheritance. It’s my duty as the eldest.”
He glanced out the rain-streaked window, suddenly looking so miserable that I genuinely felt for him. “One day, I’ll sit in my father’s chair, looking out over the whole of New York City, and ask the same thing of my son. Maybe I’ll hate it then as much as I do now, but I’ll do it anyway.”
Huffing out a quiet laugh, he brought his glass back to his lips and took another long drink. “You’re free, Ryan. That’s worth more than what any of us have.”
I stared at the glass in my hand and realized he was right, which was a pretty harsh thing to realize after all this time being pissed about losing everything. While I’d valued the freedom that had come along with it all along, it had never occurred to me quite how deep that went.
After another long drink, his beer was gone and he stood up, looking over at me as he slid his arms into the sleeves of his jacket. “Are you going to go get her this time?”
I shrugged. That was the only answer I had right now.
Everything inside me was screaming to go after her, to tell her the truth, and to agree to go talk to Cliff with her to see if we could sway him in this decision. She had come right out and asked what if it was us getting married instead, but that was before she’d learned about the money.
As I thought about the look on her face, the betrayal and the hurt, I knew that staying away would give her the best shot at a future with a guy who could give her what she deserved. Neither of them wanted the other right now, but in time, who knew?
They could be happy, but not if I kept getting in the way. Especially not if I kept getting in their way.