Chapter 20 - Mila
The dress fits me almost too well.
It’s a deep, rich green with a silky sheen every time I move, tighter around my waist while relaxing a bit more at my hips. It’s elegant but subdued, and I don’t even have to ask to know Ivan most certainly picked it out himself.
He’s quiet throughout the car ride there, but I feel his eyes on me periodically, and I catch that subtle grin of his, like he’s far too satisfied with his choice.
That should irritate me, but surprisingly, it doesn’t.
In all honesty, I feel good. Better than I have in a week or two. My body has decided to give me a break from swinging between pure exhaustion and nausea, and even if going to whatever this public event is wasn’t on my list of things I wanted to do, I’m just glad to be out of the condo again.
It helps that the dress is nice, and I finally feel put together again.
When we arrive at one of Ivan’s family-owned venues, the massive ballroom is already buzzing with activity. The moment we step inside, I’m hit with the weight of it all.
Between the people in their expensive gowns and suits, the gold accents in the main room, tied in with the old yet luxurious decor, there’s more quiet power simmering here than I’m used to.
Unsurprisingly, many others glance at Ivan with recognition and unspoken respect, nodding in acknowledgment as we walk through. He’s even more put together than usual, with his dark hair styled back neatly, and his features looking sharper than ever.
He adjusts his watch absently, then puts a hand at the small of my back, guiding me through the crowd of people.
Warmth moves down my spine at his touch, and I try to hold back my shiver as a result.
Even looking at him is a little harder tonight, only because he looks every bit the powerful man he is, and it’s more distracting than I want to admit.
While Ivan owns a portion of this room with his presence alone, I feel a bit out of place. It’s not that I don’t look the part of his company, but this isn’t the kind of place I’m used to. Being at his side makes me feel like a bit of a fraud.
I’ve been to big social events before, but nothing like this.
His touch is grounding in an annoying way, but I find myself a little more grateful for it as we run into his family.
Roman’s the first to notice us, with his intense eyes flicking between us before he gives little more than a grunted greeting. Victoria smiles, though, providing enough warmth for both of them.
“You look gorgeous, Mila,” she says kindly, extending a hand to me in a soft gesture.
“You’re glowing,” Elena adds as she slides in with Wyatt, looking as pregnant as ever in her gown.
I feel the subtle tension in Ivan’s hand against my back at that, but neither of us says a thing about it.
“Thank you,” I reply, smiling for them both with surprising ease, and I mean it too.
For as intimidating as the Lukovs are, the girls have been nothing but kind to me, and not in the back-stabbing sort of way either. They’ve made all of this a little easier to bear.
They’re busy taking in my dress and hair while his brothers direct their quiet teasing at Ivan, grinning with their drinks.
I catch as Sergey murmurs, “Never thought I’d live to see the day where you actually brought a date to one of these.”
“You’re one to talk,” he returns, taking the ribbing in stride. “You were worse once.”
“Took you a long time to get where you are,” Nikolai adds, grin so subtle it’s easy to miss.
Sergey narrows his eyes at him and points a finger in his direction. “Don’t start…you’re the farthest from settling down than any of us here.”
Nikolai chuckles while he nurses his drink. “At least I’m quiet about it.”
Ivan laughs with them, looking a bit more at ease with his family, likely glad for the distraction.
Despite the obvious wealth in the room, the night continues on in an unassuming way, pulled into various conversations either with other Lukovs or people they work with.
Ivan lingers without crowding me, checking in discreetly with me to make sure I’m holding up all right.
Then, he finds himself in a conversation with an older couple and a few of his brothers, schmoozing like it’s second nature.
Personally, I find it a bit tiring, but at least I don’t have to do much of the talking. And, the girls keep me preoccupied enough to not feel like I’m dying of boredom.
With a virgin drink in hand to not raise any suspicions, I stand with them while Elena talks nurseries and baby milestones, making my heart clench every now and again, well aware that the same thing will be relevant to me soon enough.
I’m careful with my responses, trying so hard to not trip up and reveal the secret that Ivan and me have been keeping. We obviously have to tell everyone eventually, but it’s too soon. I’m banking on this time for now.
Talking with the girls is easy, especially while they’re in good moods too, but something in me feels tight and guarded, like I can’t quite let go of my hesitation.
This is Ivan’s world, and as much as I don’t entirely want to, I have to get used to it.
But the moment I glance over at him, everything in me pauses.
There’s a younger woman leaning toward Ivan with a manicured hand resting lightly on his shoulder, with a note of familiarity.
Her hair is long and black as it cascades down her exposed back.
Everything about the way she stands there screams confidence and effortless beauty.
In a way, she seems to know she belongs here.
They’re too far away from me to hear what she’s saying, but it’s obvious they know each other.
Before I can stop it, something cold moves through me, and it’s suddenly all I can focus on.
I don’t have any proof, but an intuitive thought lingers in my mind while I watch them, struggling to focus on what the girls are saying now.
She’s someone he was with before. Likely one of many.
That makes the feeling in my chest turn from cold to burning, and I clench my jaw to keep it down.
Regardless of everything going on, we technically aren’t together. Neither of us has said anything about a relationship, which means I have no right to feel anything about this. Still, I do.
I have the tempting urge to let this absolutely ruin my night, but surprisingly, the longer it goes on, the less I want to cry or get upset about it. Instead, I feel irritated, but not devastated.
Knowing how Ivan operates, he wouldn’t like me causing a scene, and I refuse to embarrass myself by acting jealous in front of him or her.
So instead of staring any longer or spiraling to the point of exhaustion, I focus on the girls with a knowing smile. Then, I glance just beyond them at Nikolai, who looks incredibly bored on his own.
Just from looking at him, I can tell he just wants to fade into the background while he nurses the same drink and scans the room with mild disinterest as more couples move to the center of the floor to dance.
Even when he’s not working, he still looks vigilant about his surroundings, but not stern enough to be too off-putting.
As an idea slips into my mind, I excuse myself on impulse, then I head his way.
“Nikolai,” I say evenly, catching his gaze as it flicks to me. “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else but here.”
He seems a little surprised by the sudden conversation, but he clears his throat and forces a small smile in greeting. “You’re not wrong.”
“Did you want to dance?”
Nikolai almost chokes on his drink, disguising it with a subtle cough before his dark brows furrow slightly. “What?”
It takes everything in my power not to laugh at his reaction, and I tilt my head slightly, feigning innocence. “It might help the night go by a bit faster.”
His hazel eyes slide past me in Ivan’s direction, then back to me again, studying me closely. Even with his full black suit on, his tattoos peek out from beneath his collar, up the side of his neck. “Dancing isn’t really my thing.”
Despite the claim, I can see the need to distance himself and not wanting to seem rude warring in him, and it’s enough of a weakness for me to exploit. I smile.
“I promise I won’t step on your feet…much.”
Nikolai glances between us again while I pretend not to notice, then he sighs, already resigned to his fate. “You’re doing this on purpose.”
“Am I?”
He gives me an unimpressed look, then mutters to himself, “Fine. One dance, but that’s it.”
Feeling triumphant, I move along with him onto the dance floor, where we find an opening, and he places his hands respectfully on me, keeping as much of a polite distance as he can manage.
He looks away from me like a nervous boy at his first school dance, and it’s far funnier than it should be.
Despite the stiff way he moves, it’s obvious he secretly knows how.
After a moment of vaguely awkward silence, he meets my gaze again. “If you’re trying to make a point, you’re succeeding.”
“I’m just enjoying the evening,” I tell him, grinning a bit more.
Nikolai deadpans, not at all impressed, but he indulges me anyway. “Uh-huh…you’re not as subtle as you think.”
A chuckle slips from me before I can stop it, and I don’t need to look around his shoulder to know Ivan’s watching. I can feel his stare, and my skin prickles at the thought with interest.
As we continue to dance, the urge becomes too great, and I glance over, finding exactly what I expect to.
Ivan’s furious, even if he’s trying to keep it quiet. The tension in his jaw and posture, all the while his attention stays squarely on us, says it all. He doesn’t even look at the woman standing next to him, completely oblivious to the fact that he isn’t even listening.
A new kind of thrill moves through me, immediate and so satisfying.
“So,” Nikolai says after a beat, tone dry and very aware. “If Ivan asks, I’m definitely throwing you under the bus.”
“I can’t blame you,” I return, thoroughly amused by how he has gone along with my ruse. “I’d do the same.”
“Good. I think my brother has finally met his match,” he muses, relaxing a bit more as his steps smooth out. There’s something unexpectedly gentle about the way he moves, like there’s a real softness in him. It’s almost polarizing for a man like him.
Luckily, he’s a good sport too.
“Someone has to keep him in line, right?”
At this, Nikolai hums his amusement and nods. “Better it be you than me.”
As the song comes to an end, he releases me without a second thought, but doesn’t pull away like he can’t stand me. Instead, he lifts a brow. “You owe me.”
I smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”