Chapter 26 - Mila
At one point, I thought I knew what true fear was.
I felt it whenever some sort of deal fell through for Dad when he was alive, or whenever Carlo was in a mood after not getting the approval he wanted more than anything. I thought I felt it that day I ran.
But now, I know it can get so much worse, and it can hurt like a physical blow.
Cesare’s grip on me burns, unrelenting, while his fingers dig in hard enough to leave marks that will surely bruise. Carlo stands between Ivan and us with his suffocating presence, weapon poised, should any wrong move be made.
As much as they were likely expecting Ivan to storm in with more than his fair share of weapons, he stands at the other end with nothing in his hands. While I know he always has something concealed on him, he doesn’t have it ready.
He’s here to comply for as long as he can, even while it puts him at risk.
Holding his gaze, I find so many emotions within it. The quiet concern, fury, and carefully measured control all blend into one, but it will only last for so long before it all cracks completely.
“No one has to get hurt here,” Ivan tells them, calm despite everything. I know it’s taking everything he has to not lash out. “Don’t take this out on Mila.”
Carlo laughs. “What, you think we’d be stupid enough to shoot her…our one asset?”
The way he says it makes my blood run cold, but it shouldn’t be surprising by now. I already knew exactly how they saw me some time ago.
“I think you’re desperate,” Ivan returns, not even blinking.
From the way Carlo’s shoulders tighten fractionally, it’s obvious a nerve has been struck. His mocking tone slips altogether.
In a surprising beat of silence, he takes a step back, looking back at me, then towards Ivan again. “You seem very invested, Ivan. Why is that?”
Ivan’s jaw tightens further. “I have my reasons. Most of all, she doesn’t belong to you.”
Another pause fills the space for a beat, then Carlo’s gaze sharpens while he dissects everything happening here. When he looks back at me, his eyes narrow, and I know far too many thoughts are moving through his mind.
“I see…”
I feel myself clamming up, body tight with far too much tension.
“Did you let him touch you?” He asks then, voice eerily calm and quiet. “He ruined you, didn’t he?”
The question feels more like a slap to the face, and my throat burns as I hesitate. “Carlo—”
“Answer me,” he snarls, grabbing my chin forcefully to keep my eyes locked on his. Despite my yelp, aching beneath the rough hold, he grits his teeth. “Now.”
Tears build in my eyes, suddenly feeling caught in an all too familiar position, pulled between the self-assured woman I’ve tried so hard to become in secret and the trapped, neglected sister that’s only useful when it comes to her body, and what it can provide.
Wavering between doing what I want and caving to their whims feels more like a war without two halves of myself.
“Easy,” Ivan snaps, control wavering for only a step, but he stops the moment Carlo cocks the gun.
I pull in a shaky breath, feeling utterly humiliated. “Yes…I did.”
At that, my brother pauses while he stares at me. Disbelief consumes him, and he releases my chin like the mere idea disgusts him. Even Cesare tenses behind me.
Carlo stares at me with a slow blink. “You’re saying he had you? You let a Lukov fuck you?”
My knees tremble under the pressure of his gaze, rapidly warping into rage. “Yes.”
“Enough.” Ivan’s voice cuts through the tension, less forgiving than it had been. “Let her go, now.”
But it doesn’t matter what he says now. It’s too late.
I watch as some kind of realization sinks in, settling on their faces without them even bothering to try and hide it.
“You stupid, stupid girl,” Carlo utters, face slowly twisting into a scowl. “Do you know what you’ve done?”
“Shit,” Cesare curses under his breath, finally loosening his grip before taking an anxious step back, running a hand through his hair. The gravity of this is obviously weighing him down now, but for what reason, I don’t know completely. “What the fuck…”
As Carlo steps in and grabs my shoulder even tighter than Cesare had, his eyes blaze with anger now. “You were supposed to be untouched! Pure. That was the deal. The one fucking obligation we had.”
“Hurt her, and I swear to god you won’t walk out of here,” Ivan tries again, tone so dangerously calm that I know he fully intends to follow up on that, regardless of what my brothers end up doing.
“How can you talk about your own sister like that?” I manage to ask despite the waver in my voice. “How did you get so tied up in this to see me like an object?”
“You’re a liability. You always have been,” he snaps, not looking remorseful for even a moment. “I don’t need a sister. I need a virgin to seal an alliance, and now, you can’t even offer me that.”
I blink back at him in disbelief and sheer pain. It was always clear how little he cared about me, even as kids, but to hear him say it so plainly…it’s a new kind of hurt.
Riddled with anxiety now, Cesare steps closer, glancing at the doors behind us before murmuring to Carlo. “We don’t have time for this. We’ve already been here too long…their men will be here any minute.”
“I know,” Carlo barks at him, teeth gritting while he tries to keep everything together despite how rapidly it’s all crumbling. “But now what? Maksim won’t take her now. She’s tainted.”
“Then let her go and leave before this ends poorly for you,” Ivan says, voice carrying down the hall. “Run while you can, just like you did before.”
At that, Carlo laughs bitterly, but the sharp edge of his gaze reveals just how screwed they really are. “The two of you ruined the alliance, and you think I’ll just let her go now?”
“You did that to yourselves the moment you saw Mila as something to be traded.”
“You don’t get to lecture us about anything, Lukov. You took what wasn’t yours…this was supposed to fix everything. We were supposed to hand her over, then he’d stop withholding his resources. And now…”
“Now we’re fucked,” Cesare mutters, scrubbing a hand down his face.
Their panic is palpable to the point of making my gut twist in anxiety, but more so, I’m afraid of what that will make them do. Now, they’re reckless and even more dangerous than before.
My brothers can be volatile at the worst of times, but when they’re backed into a corner like this, all bets are off.
I wince as Carlo’s grip on me tightens.
“You chose him over your own blood. You’ve fucked us royally, Mila. Just know that this will always be on your hands,” he utters to me, staring at me like I’m nothing more than a stranger to him.
All the while I endure his rough treatment, I can only think of Ivan and his steady hands.
The way he swooped in and helped me that day, shielding me against his body while he took down their men.
Every day after the fact, even when I hated him, he looked at me like I was something worth protecting. Not something to be traded.
Looking over at him now, Ivan hasn’t taken another step closer, but there’s a raw determination simmering beneath the surface. He’s holding back for my sake, even if he wants to charge forward more than anything.
Even now, while my brothers are becoming more unpredictable, he isn’t trying to rush this. My safety is his priority, which I could never say about my own brothers.
With that lingering in my mind, I brace myself as I hold Carlo’s gaze, not backing down, regardless of how terrified I am. “You never gave me a choice. But if I could choose, I’d pick the man who doesn’t value me based on purity every time.”
I can see that there’s so much more Carlo wants to say, but distant footsteps echo somewhere in the building, causing him to hesitate.
Cesare stiffens and reaches for Carlo’s arm. “Time’s up. We have to go!”
Though even with their window of opportunity rapidly closing, Carlo’s pride seems to war with his survival, taking stock of the situation.
Given how he stares at Ivan, expression tight with rage, I know he wants to hurt him.
To savor what he thought would be victory, but now, it’s costing them everything.
“Let her go,” Ivan says once again, not taunting or mocking them. Just telling, like he already knows how this will end if they don’t. “Take the chance.”
For the first time, Carlo looks uncertain.
Where the brutal, opportunistic man corrupted by the image he forced himself into still lingers, I catch a glimpse of his younger self. Of the boy who ached for confirmation that he was on the right track, who just wanted to know that Dad was proud of him.
I know that’s not him anymore, even if it pains me to admit it to myself. But at the very least, I can separate the innocent boy from the monster, able to see him for who he really is.
Caught in a room with the men who controlled me and tried to sell my future, and the man who stalked me, forced me to stay, and terrified me in his own way once, I know one thing to be glaringly true.
Only one of them is trying to save me. Only one ever truly cared.