Chapter 28 - Mila
The room smells even stronger of antiseptic and medical supplies now while I sit on the patient table, dressed in my clothes again.
In this part of the hospital, you wouldn’t even know there had been a lockdown, as everything sounds so normal, but I can still feel it in the way my hands shake subtly while I lightly touch my stomach.
After the doctors were made aware of what happened, they checked me first, going over everything with me before making sure nothing happened to the baby.
With Ivan next to me, I couldn’t help the tears when the nurse told us everything still looked good and healthy. In stable condition, there’s nothing we need to worry about.
That was all we both needed to hear.
Once the nurses finished their jobs and let us know we were free to go, Ivan stepped out to speak with the officers while I got dressed out of the hospital gown.
I don’t know what he’s telling them, or just how honest he can be in this situation, but I’m grateful to have that weight off my shoulders anyway.
Now, the room is incredibly still and quiet, leaving me with too much time to think.
Even if my brothers clearly didn’t have enough love for me, it’s still hard to fathom what they did, and the fact that Carlo is gone now, and Cesare is being sent away.
Growing up with them never made us close, but a small part of me had always hoped we might build a bridge between us and grow closer as a result. I wanted that especially after Dad died, but today only proved how in too deep Carlo really was.
With every chance to make things right, he wouldn’t. But now, I don’t need to question what might’ve been. Now I know I’m exactly where I should be, with someone willing to risk his life for me.
I glance up when the door is pushed open, and Ivan steps in, giving me the hint of a reassuring smile despite how tired he looks.
“Everything’s taken care of,” he murmurs, pausing at the window instead of coming closer like I expect him to. He’s quiet while his hands go into his pockets, and he looks out with nothing short of contemplation weaving through his features. “There shouldn’t be any more questions.”
I take a slow, steady breath at that and nod, but a touch of uneasiness settles in my stomach since he hasn’t looked back at me yet. I shift in place, hearing the paper crinkling beneath me.
“Ivan.”
After a beat, he looks back at me, blue eyes swimming with something so raw that it nearly catches me off guard. There’s no edge to his expression, or instinctive armor to keep himself guarded. Instead, there’s just exhaustion wrapped up in guilt.
He swallows hard, then lets his shoulders drop as he comes closer, stopping nearby without reaching for me yet. His eyes focus on the table, then his jaw clenches and unclenches.
“I’m sorry,” Ivan says softly, not afraid to let his regret come through. “For dragging you into all of this. For not paying enough attention and even letting them get close to you again…for putting you and the baby in danger when I promised you it would never happen.”
My throat tightens around the words I want to say, causing me to stumble at first. “You didn’t. It was Carlo and Cesare.”
“But I did, whether I meant to or not,” he says, sounding harder on himself than I’ve ever heard before. “I made you trust me, and I couldn’t do the one thing I said I would. Today could’ve ended much worse, and I’m damn lucky it didn’t. I never would’ve forgiven myself.”
My expression softens at the way he so readily puts all the blame on his shoulders, despite how he was the one who came to find me. The one who stood up to my brothers without ever pulling a weapon on them. “Ivan…”
Pulling in a breath, he averts his gaze again. “After this, you’re free to go.”
I pause, blinking back at him. “What?”
“You can leave,” he begins, voice tight like he’s trying to hold himself together.
“Take the baby and decide where you want to be. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of…
money, security if you want it…whatever you need.
I won’t follow or interfere. You’ll be free to live your life like you should’ve been able to from the start. ”
Free .
That word echoes in my mind, like the taunt it used to be. The very thing I wanted more than anything before.
But as it starts to die down, fading into the back of my head, I can only stare at him in quiet confusion and disbelief.
“I don’t understand,” I say softly, being completely honest. “Why are you saying this?”
Ivan rubs at the light stubble on his jaw, looking more torn up by this than he’s letting on. “Because I’ve taken enough from you. All you ever wanted was the right to choose, even before me, and I didn’t give you that. It mattered, but I didn’t act like it did.”
“And you’re giving it to me now.”
He nods once, decisive, but not happy either. “It’s not that I don’t want this, but if you stay, it has to be because you want to. Not because you’re afraid, or because you think this is your only option.”
“And you think it’ll be safer if I leave?” I ask, heart clenching now.
“I think my life is dangerous. Maybe even more dangerous than I’ve ever wanted you to know, but I don’t get to pretend otherwise anymore.
” Ivan takes a small step closer, letting his hand rest on the table next to mine, close but not close enough.
“I never wanted to cage you, Mila, but somehow, that’s exactly what I did. ”
Looking down at my hands now, able to see how their shaking has slowed significantly, I know that means something.
“You’re right about one thing,” I start, considering my words. “I’m going to choose, because I should have from the start.”
Ivan’s gaze lifts almost cautiously at first, but sparks of hope and fear trickle in too.
Meeting his eyes, softening at the way he seems to fight internally with this, I gently reach for his hand. “I’m choosing to stay.”
For a moment, he almost looks stunned, like I’ve slapped him, then more of that remorse comes through. “Mila…”
“I don’t want to leave,” I tell him with more conviction. “Not because I’m afraid, or because I don’t think I could survive without you. But because I want to.”
He looks at me, shaking his head faintly as if he’s afraid I’m not fully understanding. “You can take time to think about this.”
“I know, and I know I can walk away, but I’m not.”
Ivan studies me closely, like he’s checking for anything I’m withholding, or any hint that I’m not making this decision on my own. Instead, he lets go of a quiet breath and sits with my words.
“Running won’t make the world any less dangerous, but it would make me alone in it,” I murmur, well aware of how my heart pounds through my vulnerability. “And I don’t want to keep your child from you, Ivan. Not when you’re already trying so hard to provide for us.”
For a moment, he almost looks like he’s been gutted while he processes everything. Then, he adjusts his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together with such care. “I don’t deserve this.”
“Maybe not. But I get to decide that.”
With a great rush of relief, Ivan bows his head until his forehead rests against mine. He takes a deep breath, like he’s trying to convince himself he’s allowed to have this, just like I did before.
It’s almost hard to see him like this, with his guard down and so openly needing this contact between us. But in a way, I think I needed to.
“I swear to you…I will spend the rest of my life proving you right.”
Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, I feel the subtle sting of tears in my eyes again. “That’s all I ask.”
After a moment, he leans a bit closer, nose brushing against my cheek. “If this is what you want—if I’m what you want—then marry me. Please.”
The request pulls the air from my lungs at once, and I almost forget to breathe in again. “Ivan…”
He pulls back just enough to hold my gaze again, expression steady and full of resolve now.
“I won’t trap you, and I’m not taking away your ability to choose.
But if you’ll have me, then marry me. Not because of the baby or because you feel obligated.
But because I love you, and I don’t want you to ever wonder that. ”
Those words throw me, forcing everything to narrow down to this moment. To the warmth and sincerity in his eyes, telling me all of this is coming from the deepest place he possesses.
At once, I see glimpses of my old self in the back of my mind. The girl who was ignored, directed, and hidden until the time was right. The woman who ran, and the one who learned how to make decisions on her own. Learned how to want again, and learned how to take everything back.
If it wasn’t for Ivan, regardless of how furious I had been with him, there’s a chance I might never have reached this point. I might never have known what it felt like to take such big risks, all for the sake of living the life I was meant to.
For all the chaos and bad times, he showed me I could want more. That I was capable of taking what I wanted. And now, I don’t want that to go away.
“Yes,” I murmur, eyes watering as I smile. “I will.”
In such a short span, Ivan’s face shifts from relief to disbelief, then to joy. He cups my face then, lips hovering above mine. “Tell me you mean it.”
“I mean it,” I echo without hesitation, nose gently brushing against his. “I’m choosing you because I love you too.”
His breath falters just long enough for me to notice, frame relaxing as he presses a gentle kiss to my cheek, then moves to my lips.
The contact is soft and almost careful, like he’s promising me something beyond what words ever could.
For the first time, I’m not afraid of what’s ahead of me. Not when I know I’ll have Ivan with me to experience all the unknowns together.
Instead of being backed in a corner without any options left, I’m claiming this with everything I am.