Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Eleanor raced toward her chambers, feeling her pulse race along with her feet. She had thought that Callum had forgotten about her, but he had come through in the end. She just knew that he would not have forgotten about her, not after everything that they had been through.
I think I care for him.
The thought both scared and invigorated her as she took the steps two at a time.
Her heart suddenly screamed as her lips spread into a smile.
After everything that they had been through, she finally realized that she loved him more than life itself.
There had been a moment when he lay so still on the ground that she had felt as if she had not been able to breathe.
Yet it was only now that she longed to see him that she realized just how deep her feelings for the man truly went.
It has to mean that I love him, does it nae?
Life itself seemed pointless if she was not by his side. It seemed strange to her to admit it, but she needed him more than the air that she breathed.
Rounding a corner, Eleanor could see that her chamber doors were open. She wasted no time heading directly toward them and stepping inside. “Callum, I…” Her words froze along with her body as a pang of disappointment gnawed at her gut.
It isnae him.
Coming to his feet, Andrew smiled at her with a bandage tightly wrapped around his throat. “I am sorry, lass, but I am nae the Laird. I hope ye are nae too disappointed.” His same boyish smile lingered around his lips as he placed one hand on the table beside him for support.
Her knees felt too weak to move, but her disappointment was quickly replaced by relief as she hurried forward and embraced her brother, throwing her arms around his shoulders.
“Andrew, it is so good to see ye.” She shut her eyes tightly and drew him closer, breathing in the scent of fresh herbs that had been used to dress his wound.
“Careful now, or Fiona might ruin us both if we destroy all of her hard work.” He laughed and gently pushed her away.
Taking a step back, Eleanor smiled at him. “I daenae care if she turns the world on its head, it feels like I have waited a long time to see me brother again.” She felt a mixture of sadness and relief when she noticed just how many bandages had been used to secure his neck.
He could have died.
She forced a smile despite the sadness in her heart.
“So, ye are nae too disappointed that it is me and not yer Laird?” he asked with a teasing note in his voice.
The feelings from earlier came flooding back as she thought of Callum.
Where was he, and why had he not sent for her or come to check on her?
The pit of her stomach twisted almost nauseatingly as she wondered if he had been more hurt than she had anticipated.
“I am never disappointed to see ye, brother. I was just wonderin’ how Callum was doin’.
” She gestured to one of the chairs beside the table and helped her brother into his seat.
He moved slowly, each action carefully thought out, before lowering himself into his chair. “Aye, and I am glad to see ye, lass. If ye are wonderin’ about the Laird, I saw him this mornin’. He seems to be on the mend. He was headed to a council meetin’ with that lad, Iain, who came to save us.”
Council meetin’.
Is that what was truly more important to Callum? He had solved the mystery of who had been behind the deeds, and now he had set his mind to finding the traitors.
I must nae have meant that much to him at all.
Her heart skipped a beat of betrayal and longing, but she quickly forced a smile and turned back to her brother as she took the seat opposite his.
“Never mind the Laird or what he is doin’, I want to hear everythin’ that ye have been through.
How did Donald Kincaid, or Stewart, manage to capture ye?
” She put on a brave face and attempted to push her own feelings aside.
“Aye, I guess I do owe ye an explanation after puttin’ ye through so much. I cannae believe that ye pretended to marry a laird just to find me,” he teased her gently.
“I am certain that ye would have done the same for me,” Eleanor responded with a kind smile.
Furrowing his brow, Andrew gave her one of his old mischievous smiles. “I daenae think I would have gone as far as pretendin’ to marry a laird, but I certainly would have moved heaven and earth to find ye,” he teased.
Laughing for the first time in weeks, Eleanor shook her head. “I am glad to see that ye havenae allowed the matter to bring ye down.”
Andrew’s smile suddenly faded as he looked at his hands, where cuts and scrapes had been treated and washed. “It wasnae easy, and I will be glad to get back home once the Laird has released us.”
Home.
The word sounded strange to Eleanor as she mulled it over.
The house was still there, and her father and brother would be there too, but would it feel like she belonged?
Something deep inside of her stirred again as she thought of leaving the castle, Bran, Marion, and especially Callum behind.
Even though she had not spent so much time in the castle, it suddenly felt as if she would be leaving a piece of her heart behind.
Andrew’s voice broke through her thoughts.
“I came to the castle without anythin’ happenin’, it was only until the day after me arrival that I was approached by one of the council members.
The man told me that he kent who was behind the forged deeds, and that I needed to follow him to find out more.
” He stopped speakin’ for a moment and hung his head.
“I should have ken then that there was somethin’ wrong. ”
Eleanor reached out and gave his hand a careful, reassuring squeeze. “Ye couldnae have ken…”
He shook his head again and lowered his voice sadly.
“That is the thing, I should have ken. The man who led me away was Donald Kincaid. He wasnae even a member of the council, and I allowed meself to be fooled. I had met every man the day before, I convinced meself that the man held the key to everythin’ I had been searchin’ for. ”
Her heart broke for the regret in her brother’s eyes. She knew very well what it felt like to blame oneself for tragic events.
“Little did I ken that he was the key.” He shook his head disappointedly.
“Andrew, ye were brave in what ye did yesterday, and even what ye had to endure. Daenae beat yerself up for one mistake.” She let go of his hand and sat back, feeling her own body ache.
He offered her another sad smile before continuing.
“As I was sayin’, he led me away from the castle.
It wasnae until we were in the glen that I realized me mistake.
It was the very glen where he forced me to me knees and made me call out yer name.
” His voice became almost bitter as he averted his gaze toward the window.
“Andrew, I daenae blame ye…” Her words trailed off when he suddenly snapped his gaze toward her again.
“But I blame meself. Callum was willin’ to risk his life for ye. He even laid down his arms in order to save ye and what matters most to ye. I wish I had half the courage and strength that he has.” His voice was genuine as his eyes shone with the ghosts of regret.
Shifting off her chair, Eleanor came to her knees in front of him and took both of his hands in hers.
“Do ye nae see how brave ye were at the end? It doesnae matter how long it took ye to speak up, ye acted far beyond the demands of chivalry. Ye had a sword pressed to yer throat, for goodness sake.”
Gratitude filled his eyes as he smiled down at her. “But Callum had nae sword pressed to his throat. He acted purely on what mattered most. He is a far braver man than I.”
His words gave Eleanor food for thought as she drew her lips into her mouth.
What exactly was it that mattered most to Callum?
He had pushed her behind him and stopped her from running directly to what could have been her death, but he had done so to protect her, and her alone, or was he thinking of the best interests of his clan?
It was not unusual for a man of war to assess a situation and make a call that would benefit the greater good.
Does he feel anythin’ at all for me?
Her heart skipped a beat as she wondered if her feelings toward him were at all reciprocated.
He had not sent for her, or even come to see how she was doing, but was that because he knew that she was safe?
Had their moment together in her chambers meant nothing at all to him, while it had turned her world upside down?
All of the questions made her heart feel heavy as she sat back on her haunches and looked up at her brother.
“Callum was doin’ what was right for his clan.
Aye, he is a brave man, but he is a just one as well.
He would have laid down his arms in that glen if I had been there or nae.
That is just the kind of man that he is. ”
Her brother’s expression changed to one of curiosity as he tilted his head to the side. “Do ye care for him, sister?”
The question caught her off guard as she sucked in a sharp breath. Were her feelings so obvious to others that it seemed as if they were written on her face?
“I… I…” she stumbled over her words, feeling as if she were caught between a rock and a hard place. How could she tell her brother that she did not know how she felt toward the Laird, who seemed to have cast her aside from one moment to the next?
Ye daenae ken if he did that.
She tried to reassure herself that she was putting the cart before the horse before she even knew what his reasons were.
“Ye need a little more time to ken what is best,” Andrew said, smiling down at her.
Eleanor shook her head. “I think I…” Her words trailed off again when a knock sounded at the open door. Turning her head, she spotted Freya standing with her head hung low.
“Forgive me for intruding, Mistress, but the Laird wishes to speak with Mr. Whitacker in his study.” She cleared her throat quietly without lifting her head.
Swallowing hard, Eleanor felt her chest clench again.
He sent for Andrew and nae me.
She forced a smile when Andrew stood and offered her his hand to help her up. It was not easy to feel the Laird’s rejection, but she was not about to show Andrew, or even Freya, how badly it was affecting her.
Just a little longer and I will be able to be on me own.
She longed for the solitude of her own thoughts that would help her work through the complex feelings plaguing her mind.
“Duty calls and the Laird must not be kept waitin’,” he said before turning away from her.
“But before I go,” he paused and looked over his shoulder.
“I have written to father to set his mind at ease. Ye will have a day or two to decide what is best.” His gaze lingered on her for a moment before he once again turned away and headed toward the door.
Eleanor breathed in deeply, shutting her eyes for just a moment before looking back up. “Was there somethin’ that ye needed, Freya?”
The girl seemed to be on the brink of tears again as she finally looked up, fidgeting with the edges of her apron. “Mistress, I…” Her words were strained with emotion, her eyes welling with tears.
“Marion will make a full recovery, Freya. There is nae need to blame yerself for what happened.” Eleanor attempted to reassure her.
Shaking her head, Freya averted her gaze and wiped at her cheeks.
“Ye daenae understand, Mistress, it was nae just Iain that I need to apologize for. It was me fault that Marion wasnae where she was supposed to be. I had too many chores, ye see, and I asked her to help me, but instead of doin’ what I needed to do, I went to flirt with Iain.
I daenae even like him that much; I just enjoyed the attention he gave me.
Marion was stabbed because I was actin’ like a foolish bairn. ”
Lifting her hands to her shoulders, Eleanor warded off a chill and let out a breath. “That is quite a confession, Freya, but if I may say so, ye are still nae to blame. Ye may nae have made the right decisions, but it wasnae as if he stabbed her. Ye were nae involved in the mutiny, were ye?”
Freya shook her head as her eyes grew wider. “I daenae ken of any mutiny, Mistress. I am but a simple maid. I swear it.” Her voice grew higher with each word.
“I believe ye, Freya, there isnae need to explain yerself to me. It was nae yer fault, but if I may make a suggestion?”
Freya quickly nodded. “Please, Mistress, speak yer mind if there is anythin’ I can do?”
Eleanor hesitated for a second before answering. “Go and tell Marion that ye are sorry and that ye would like to be her friend. And after that, ye can stop flirtin’ with Iain. Unless ye feel that he truly likes ye, daenae play with others’ feelings.”
Allowing the corners of her mouth to lift into a smile, Freya breathed out.
“I daenae think that he cares that deeply for me, Mistress. Our flirtin’ has always been in the name of fun.
Truth be told, he has always had a soft spot for Marion.
He had never said that he loves her, but I have seen the way his eyes follow her whenever she enters a room.
The two are like passin’ ships in the night.
Things would be better for them both if they just confessed their feelings. ”
Could it be possible?
Eleanor wondered whether they had not all been mistaken about Iain. It had not seemed as if he had been too interested in Marion, but it was possible that he had been hiding his feelings out of fear. It was not easy to be vulnerable when your heart was at stake.
Freya wiped at her cheeks again. “Thank ye, Mistress, I shall do as ye say, and if I may, ye will make a great mistress for this castle. The Laird could nae have chosen a better wife.” She curtsied low, coming up with a fresh look of relief before excusing herself and leaving.
But I willnae be his wife.
She turned her back on the open door, wondering when Callum would tell the clan that their wedding was nothing more than a ploy.