20. Fleur
20
FLEUR
Bastien wasn’t himself, even when a week had come and gone.
He didn’t look at me the same, like the bruises were too painful to bear. Only when they started to fade did he behave more like himself. He was home with me every day, slept through the night beside me, worked out in the morning before he had breakfast with me. We didn’t talk about what had happened. It seemed like he wasn’t ready for that.
We lay together in bed, naked under the sheets, his skin fiery to the touch because he was still warm after doing all the work just moments before. But he was never hot enough to push me away and cool off.
I traced his jawline with my fingers, feeling the coarse hairs of his beard. “How are you?”
He hiked my leg over his hip, his hand on my ass. He didn’t address the question, sidestepped it with his silence like he didn’t want to confront it.
“If you want to go back, you can?—”
“I have no desire to go back.”
He seemed distant and withdrawn, carrying a depression so heavy I could see it weigh down his shoulders. “Then tell me what bothers you.”
“What bothers me?” he asked. “It fucking hurts to look at you. That’s what bothers me.”
“I’m fine, Bastien. It’s already healed so much.”
“Doesn’t matter. I failed as a man when I let it happen in the first place.”
“You did not fail me,” I said gently.
“I did. If Godric hadn’t gotten there, you would have been entirely on your own. I wasn’t coming, Fleur. I was trapped in a warehouse fifty miles away, and it would have been literally impossible for me to save you. I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you…and I broke that promise.”
We finally had our lives together, finally had the peace that we desired, but it was destroyed by his disgust in himself. “That night we had dinner at Jules Verne…and I walked out. I left because I was scared of your world.”
“As you should have been. I wish you hadn’t come back.”
That hurt more than when I’d been punched in the face. “I came back because I chose this life with you. I knew the risks but chose to stay. You put this all on yourself and forget that I was an equal participant. When I drowned, I still chose to stay. I chose to risk that all over again because the alternative was unthinkable.”
He continued to stare at me, but his eyes were so hard and vicious. “I made you feel like shit for leaving.”
“I forgive you.”
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“ Bastien .” I didn’t want any more of this self-loathing. Didn’t want any more of this distance and coldness. “We’ve made it to the other side. We’re here now. I don’t want to think about the past when I’m so excited about our present and our future. I know it’s hard, but you need to let it go.”
“I never let anything go.”
“I know.” I cupped his face. “But I need you to let this go. Because we finally have the life that I wanted, and I want to enjoy every second of it because forever will go by so fast.”
He closed his eyes like I’d said the perfect thing to halt his rage. He released a quiet sigh, let out his frustration and despair.
“It’s okay.” I moved my fingers into his hair, wanting my man back with me, wanting his blue eyes and his smile and the warmth he gave me with just a look.
He inhaled a breath before he opened his eyes again, looking at me with a sharper stare, a hardness that wasn’t angry, just focused. “At least I have the rest of my life to make it up to you.”
I went to his mother’s house several times a week, and together, we planned the wedding. A wedding normally took place a year after the engagement, but since we both wanted to be married now, and Bastien had a lot of connections with pretty much everyone in Paris, I was able to book everything I wanted with just six weeks’ notice.
I didn’t ask his mom for help because I needed it, just because I wanted to spend time with her, to deepen that relationship with her since she would be my mother-in-law. I’d been close with Adrien’s parents, and I would always have love for them as long as I lived, but now, Bastien and his family would be my family.
My forever family.
Bastien had no interest in the wedding planning. Just gave me a list of all the people he wanted to invite, which included President Martin, several members of the Senate, and then all the criminals he knew from his time as the Butcher. I only had a few friends to invite, so pretty much the entire guest list was on his side.
One night, his mother invited us over for dinner, and when we walked inside, Godric was already there because he’d been invited too.
I’d barely spoken to Godric. He was definitely the strong and silent type, but I felt perfectly comfortable around him because of what he’d done for me. Instead of hitting him with a bunch of questions and forced conversation, I chose to mirror his energy so he would feel at ease around me.
His mother was so beside herself at the sight of them together in the same room that she broke into sobs before she pulled both of her sons in for a single hug, the two of them towering over her.
The brothers didn’t hug each other, but Bastien gave him a pat on the shoulder.
“I just can’t believe it.” His mother pulled away, her hand over her heart. “Both of my sons here. One of my boys is getting married. I wish your father were here to see this.”
Bastien and Godric exchanged a look, but it was fleeting.
“Mom, did you invite your boyfriend?” Bastien asked.
“Boyfriend?” Godric asked.
“You didn’t hear?” Bastien asked. “She’s got some art collector boyfriend named Pierre.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she said quickly. “But yes, he’ll be joining us.”
Bastien exchanged another look with Godric then winked.
Godric smirked back, like they wordlessly agreed to a plan to interrogate the fuck out of this guy.
The butler entered the room and announced the arrival of Pierre before he walked off.
His mother was in a purple dress with high heels that showed how lithe and agile she was. “Be on your best behavior, boys.”
Pierre stepped into the room in slacks and a matching vest with a collared shirt, looking very refined, just like Bastien’s mother. He gave her the warmest smile before he kissed each one of her cheeks.
“Pierre, thank you so much for coming.” She walked with him up to Bastien and Godric, six-foot-something men who were intimidating to the most ruthless criminals. “It’s my pleasure to introduce both of my sons.” Her eyes watered when she looked at them, like there truly was no greater pleasure than the sight of the two of them. “Godric and Bastien.”
Bastien shook his hand first. “Pleasure to meet you.”
Godric shook his hand as well but said nothing.
“So,” Bastien said. “What are your intentions with our mother?”
“Bastien.” His mother swatted him on the arm. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Just a question,” Bastien said. “He’s a man, he can handle it. And if he can’t, he can leave.”
His mother had been beaming a moment ago, and now, she looked mortified. “Let’s sit down and eat.”
“It’s okay,” Pierre said, chuckling like he found this whole thing amusing. “They’re good sons, looking after you.” He gently patted her arm before he addressed Bastien. “It’s been a long time since I lost my wife, and all I desired was companionship. But that companionship has blossomed into something more…probably because your mother is such an exceptional woman.” He looked at her as he said all that, like he truly was enamored of her beauty and elegance.
Bastien smirked as he watched the two of them. “Good answer, Pierre.” He made his hand into a fist and gently fist-bumped him.
Pierre chuckled before he reciprocated.
“Okay,” his mother said. “Let’s end this soap opera and have dinner.”
We had a long dinner and chatted for hours.
Bastien and Pierre were still locked in an extensive conversation about art and politics while Delphine listened at the head of the table.
Godric had stepped into the sitting room and lit up a cigar by the fire, like his social meter had expired.
I joined him, taking the seat across from him.
He took a couple puffs to get the tip to burn and the smoke to rise in a cloud. Then he looked at me across from him before he reached inside his coat pocket and held out a cigar for me to enjoy.
“No thanks. I quit smoking.”
He returned it to his pocket and smoked in silence, his attention on the fireplace, his aura calm and borderline indifferent. He was very unlike his brother, a complete enigma.
“I’m glad you and Bastien are talking again,” I said, trying to take a stab at conversation.
His eyes shifted back to me, and he stared for a while.
“I hope you and I can have a relationship too.”
He smoked his cigar and continued his stare. “I’m not pleasant company, if I’m being honest.”
“Well, I already like you, so you don’t have to try to be pleasant company.” He’d already earned my love and loyalty when he’d shown up and shot those guys in the head. He’d spared me from a horror I wouldn’t have recovered from. Bastien wouldn’t have been able to go on either. Our relationship would be permanently altered.
He released the smoke from his mouth then a slight smile moved over his lips. “That makes it easy.”
I looked at the fire for a while, trying to find something to say to him, but he was harder to pierce than Luca. Luca’s front was just an act, but I could tell that Godric was exactly what he seemed. “I was wondering…if you would walk me down the aisle?”
His eyes immediately flicked to mine at the question.
“I don’t have any family. It’s just me.”
He let the smoke rise from his cigar as he held it.
“And I know you’ll be my brother, so…” I didn’t want to force it. Didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Didn’t want to burden him with a job he didn’t want.
He was quiet for a long time, so long it seemed like he might ignore the inquiry altogether. “I can do that.”
“Yeah?” I asked, unable to restrain my enthusiasm.
He nodded. “Sure.”