9. Easton #2
“At least you don’t deny it anymore,” Jace said.
It was a checkmate. He got what he wanted.
I exhaled and shook my head. “So what? It’s not like I can keep it a secret forever. Too many wrong people know already.”
“Why would you want to keep it a secret?” Jace asked. There was an unmistakable note of disgust in his tone, and I hated him for it. But I believed him, too. Against my best attempts—and against all the lessons I had learned with Kyle—I believed Jace when he said he was gay.
“How many gay NHL players do you know?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t follow that shit.”
“You don’t, but I do. It’s my life, Jace. It’s my scholarship at Westmont and my future away from…” I snapped my mouth shut and turned away from Jace.
“Away from what?” Jace asked, his voice dripping with irony. I could hear him shifting his weight from one foot to the other, crossing his arms on his smooth, inked chest. “The perfect little life with Kevin and Ruthie? Could it be you want to be free from them?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said, walking to the other end of the living room.
Yet I couldn’t force myself to leave altogether.
Something tethered me to this spot, to this person.
I wanted so badly to sever it and be free, but I couldn’t.
All my life, we’d orbited one another. Nothing was done by mistake or without a reason.
“Of course it matters,” Jace said. “But what I don’t understand is how me knowing who you really are threatens your career.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Kyle had stayed well away from me on Thursday and Friday, but I had seen him watching me in the locker room. I had seen the gleeful spark in his eyes when he spotted the bruises on my torso and when he found the cuts on my face.
It was only a matter of time before my team knew the gravity of my mistakes. Nobody dared to ask me yet, nobody but Elio and Patrick, about the wounds. To them, I had lied because that was what being gay had made me. A liar. A lifelong expert in bending the truth and hiding behind big lies.
“Who am I gonna tell?” he asked. It seemed to make him laugh, although his laughter was bitter and dark. “It’s ironic that the least trustworthy person you know is the only one you can fully trust, eh?”
“Why should I trust you?” I whispered and looked at the floor.
Jace approached me from behind, keeping a respectful distance between us. “What would I get out of telling someone you like sucking dick, Easton? Nah, it’s not me you’re worried about. It’s that roommate you had.”
I spun around furiously. “What do you know about that?”
Jace shrugged. “I know he left, and I know he threw your bag in a dumpster. And I know he sent his guys to kick your ass.” He tucked his hands into his pockets, his shoulders slouched, and his arms relaxed.
He was covered in intricate designs that made no sense to me in the darkness of the night.
All I saw were the curves of his muscles and occasional highlights on his skin when it caught the light of the city outside my window.
“I also know you feel alone, but it doesn’t have to be like that. ”
“Because you can keep me company,” I sighed.
“I sure can,” Jace said. He looked straight into my eyes. “I can keep you company. I can weasel out that piece of shit who did this to you. I can do all sorts of things.”
I swallowed. It was so tempting to hand over all my problems to Jace.
He could wave his hand and make it all go away, or so he thought.
“And when all that is done, you’ll turn on me,” I said.
“Because we have unfinished business.” And because he never looked away from the past. He never took that leap to leave the past behind.
He cocked the corners of his lips into a smile. “Maybe I won’t.”
I shook my head, fighting the tendency of my gaze to drop to his chest, his flat stomach, or his torn pants. “A lot rides on your ‘maybe’ for my comfort.”
Jace blinked slowly and leaned forward a little.
He had no concept of personal space. Like he was God-given, he simply pushed himself into my space.
“If I really wanted to get back at you, I would have done it by now. Besides, I can think of a million fun ways to punish you that won’t ruin your life.
” He hesitated a moment for dramatic effect, and I hated how well it worked.
“It would wreck your world, don’t get me wrong. ”
“Don’t be filthy,” I said with the last of my strength.
He snorted as he stepped back. “Just saying, I’m not the one you should be afraid of.”
But hearing this didn’t make me any less afraid of what Jace was capable of. He had more than enough reason to hate me. I was his replacement in the only home he’d ever known. When he looked at me, he saw the reason he’d been thrown out.
I said nothing else. He was still making fun of me, even when he told me he was gay. He still dangled the fact of my attraction to him as something he could mock.
But he was right, too. The number of people I could trust was shrinking fast. Last year, I had no problems I couldn’t talk about. The pressures of leading the team and losing the trophies left and right had been my biggest issues. I could speak to any of my teammates about that.
This…
This was not something I could take to Elio or Patrick. I’d made the mistake of assuming Kyle’s beliefs and opinions, and I was paying a high price for that. I wouldn’t make that mistake twice.
So, the only ally I had was Jace. My hateful, vengeful former brother. The guy whose very presence made my knees click and shake. And I was desperate for allies.
I reached the open door of my bedroom, hand touching the frame. Holding my breath, I stopped thinking about it. I stopped weighing my options and shook my head. “There’s one condition,” I said.
Jace didn’t reply.
“You can stay here,” I said. “But Dad can never find out.”
After a moment of silence, Jace said, “We have a deal.”
As I shut the door of my bedroom and turned the key, I was surprised to find that I didn’t feel like I’d just made a terrible mistake. No doubt, this would bite me in the ass sooner or later, but my chest wasn’t hollowed out with the sense of foreboding.
Jace and I were not a good combination. But it was far better to have him nearby. If nothing else, I could manage him better if I knew what he was up to. And besides, Dad was increasingly angry about paying for the entire place. I could use Jace’s shady cash to stave off another immediate problem.
I lay down and shut my eyes. The sleep took me eventually, and the dreams spared me for once.