19. Jace #3
“Let go,” he blurted, but my hand only tightened around his wrist. He was very skinny, very dry. I wondered if his hand would snap like a twig. I could almost hear it cracking.
I didn’t need to hurt him. He was terrified.
“I’m here to spite you, Kev,” I said. “And your favorite boy.” My heart cracked, but I didn’t let that show on my face.
“I found him and followed him and wrapped him around my little finger. And these three fingers, too, if you wanna know.” I lifted my other hand, waving three fingers, but lowered it quickly when Kevin tried to land a punch with his other hand.
I held both his arms now, pushing him a few inches back.
“It was the easiest thing in the world,” I said, trying to force my most convincing expression of gloating.
“I made him do such terrible things, and I thought of you. I thought how it would break your heart. And it made me happy for the first time in my life.”
I used all the force I could muster to push the old guy back.
He stumbled but remained on his feet, as I had hoped.
He didn’t charge at me again. Disbelief and pain washed over his face.
“You leave that boy alone,” he said shakily.
I had never had a father who would protect me like that.
I hadn’t known that Kevin Harper was capable of being protective.
Well, if I were the danger, he would protect a viper.
“Have him. I don’t need him anymore,” I said as smugly as I could. “This time, I burned your house to the ground.”
My gaze didn’t go to Easton. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him now. What I saw was pure horror coming over Kevin’s face.
That was good enough. Whatever he thought Easton was up to, he could pin on me now. His hatred for me was so powerful that it eradicated whatever disappointments he found in his son.
I turned around, avoiding the sight of Easton, and moved toward the door. I turned the knob. “Bye, Dad,” I said lightly and stepped outside, all my stuff back in my room. I didn’t need any of it. I wasn’t coming back.
As I stepped out, I found Mrs. Johnson standing in her doorway, listening. She was indignant when she was caught in the act, and she lifted her pointy chin up. “Good riddance.”
As I passed her, I paused, and she sank back inside, still staring at me. “You know, those dirty sounds would bother you a lot less if you stopped eavesdropping.”
A shocked “How rude” came from her apartment as she shut the door.
I didn’t look back. One step at a time, I went down the stairs and out of the building, pretending as if I had set it on fire, and walked away.
I wasn’t your regular, flame-loving pyromancer.
I didn’t need to see the blaze to feel a sliver of joy or that tantalizing fascination with the fire’s power of destruction.
I walked away, hoping to all the gods that my gambit succeeded. It was a desperate measure, but one that may still give Easton a chance to save his skin. He just needed to play the cards I’d dealt him. He needed to be the victim of my devious plots.
That shouldn’t be too hard for him. After all, I had dragged him into this mess and left him out to dry. He was a victim of my presence, of my chaotic nature, only not in the way I led Kevin to believe.
As I walked aimlessly as far from that place as I could, I offered my soul to any force that would take it. It’s not much, I thought. But you can have it. Just keep him safe.
Things would forever be awkward between Easton and his parents, but there had never been a time when Kevin didn’t make things awkward. As for myself, I had faced him and survived. He didn’t have power over me.
And I didn’t hold power over Easton.
The universe was in balance once again. Earth spun on as if nothing had happened. The worlds that were shattered were just a small grain of sand on an endless beach, and the reality would go on without them.
So what if I didn’t have him? It wasn’t like I knew what to do with him.
Everyone knew I was incapable of love—undeserving of it.
Hell, even the woman in the hospital bed had seen it.
I was an hour old when the sight of me turned her stomach and tied her guts into a knot.
“Take that thing away,” she must have said. “I can’t look at it.”
Easton was better off like this. He’d find his way, meet a nice vanilla guy, maybe have sex on Valentine’s or a big anniversary, and soon forget I had ever existed.
He would be safe in a steady, predictable relationship that threatened him with no twists and turns.
He wouldn’t have to hold on for dear life whenever he neared me, the eye of the storm.
And perhaps my storm would die down someday. Perhaps I would finally run out of this hellish fuel and let those fires die down. It was all I could hope for—a little slice of peace in some distant future.
I wanted to be tired at last. I wanted to be exhausted, spent, and done with it. But I couldn’t. The fusion within me was still in a perpetual chain reaction, feeding itself. I was like a snake that ate its tail. Endless. Infinite. Ravaged.
I was exactly what I was made to be.
I was alone.