Chapter 29
Heading to the restaurant for dinner, I wore the baggy jeans that had dried in the sun. This time, Benji sat with us—next to Miss Kennedy, who sat at the end of the long rectangular table. Hero and Ayden switched seats with each other.
“You showered,” Hero said as we were eating, not as a question but rather as a statement.
I stayed silent, not sure how he found out.
“You smell like body soap,” he commented.
“Yeah, I felt dirty after falling down on the ground, y’know?” I said, slowly taking another bite.
“You were wearing long sleeves and pants.”
“So?”
“You could’ve just washed your hands, since that’s the only contact you had with the ground.”
A pause.
“What are you implying?” I asked. “Can’t a girl shower after a long day at Paris?”
He took a bite, then put his fork down, turning to face me.
“I know you. You never shower at this time of day. What exactly are you hiding?” A slight irritation was detected in his voice.
He paused. “I know it’s not the same as the other thing you’re hiding from me.
Just how many things are you hiding from me, anyway? ” He looked back down at his plate.
I had almost forgotten about the other thing already; Benji just felt like any other classmate when he was far away. But as soon as he gets close…
How many things was I hiding from Hero? Violet, I remembered. My talk with Violet.
“This thing… that I’m hiding, it isn’t that bad,” I told him.
“Then why won’t you tell me?” he pleaded. “We aren’t healthy if we don’t have healthy communication.”
I swallowed. “Because,” I began, “you will get yourself in trouble. I don’t want to lose you.”
He wrapped his hands around my hand like a sandwich. “You will never lose me.”
“How can you say that?” I snapped, staring deep into his eyes. “You lost control with Ayden. With the entire classroom.” I paused, unsure if I should say these next words. “With me.”
He looked away, guilt visible on his face. He released his grip on my hand.
“It’s only a matter of time before the police lock you away,” I snarled. “Do you want that?!”
“No!” he raised his voice. A few classmates turned their heads.
He lowered his voice, “No, of course I don’t.
I just get… angry. I resent myself for what I did to you.
Every second of every day I am constantly reminded of it.
” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I even regret what I did to everyone that day, even if they continue to provoke me on purpose.”
I exhaled and pulled him into a warm hug. “I’m so sorry, Ro.”
I wasn’t completely sure what I was apologizing for.
It wasn’t my fault. Yet, I felt sorry for everything.
I felt sorry for Hero losing his best friend, Ayden.
I felt sorry for Hero being bullied. I felt sorry for Hero having anger issues that he couldn’t control.
I felt sorry for everything Hero did, even though I know I could never stop those things from happening. I couldn’t fix him.
Love can’t cure someone.
Above all, I felt sorry for cheating. I am sorry. That one was completely my fault.
He broke down into my arms as he pressed against my chest and tightly squeezed his arms around me. “I will try,” he sobbed. “I will try my best to contain my anger and never hurt anyone again.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, Pepper.”
I placed a kiss on the top of his head. I heard whispers and giggles about Hero crying—about how he’s a ‘crybaby.’ It made my blood boil.
Him being vulnerable didn’t make him a crybaby.
It meant he trusted me. I was glad Hero didn’t hear those whispers because I knew he would’ve lashed out—even though he promised not to.
I glanced over at Ayden, who had subtly covered one of his ears. Was he affected by what they were saying about Hero?