Chapter 38 #2
“Tiana … I’m fifteen until September.”
“And I’ll turn seventeen three weeks later. Which is all they keep saying. They need to understand your years don’t matter nearly as much as they think. Because you’re already the most mature person I’ve ever met.”
“Tiana, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.”
“Well, it’s true.”
Colin decided now was the time to confess. “I’ve never been on a date before.”
“Never?”
“Not with anyone. Now is when you tell me I’m doing great so far.”
Tiana’s elfin spirit returned. “A couple more nights without Mademoiselle Sofia, you might get a passing grade.”
The Saturday finally came. A day of firsts. Colin’s first concert. His first time in the Live Oak Bank Pavilion. His first sunset in the midst of live jazz.
His first kiss.
He made the afternoon a sort-of formal event.
He could tell Tiana was disappointed with his plans and how excited he had remained all that week.
She had visited his apartment twice, dropping in, or so she claimed, her tone idly curious.
He had spent the week studying Chick Corea’s music, preparing for the concert as best he could, not certain how it would actually be.
Even with her there in his rooms, he could not completely let go of the wonder.
Being treated as just another jazz enthusiast. Age no longer of any real importance.
For that one night. Of course, Tiana felt his frisson of excitement.
Her silent jealousy was almost beautiful.
The second time she visited, on concert Saturday, she announced she was going back to Hawaii, her uncle had decided to take a last-minute holiday, they had snagged seats, they were leaving the next day.
And here he was, so thrilled by everything that did not include her.
Colin did his best to say how sorry he was, he would miss her, but even this sudden absence could not invade his anticipation.
Tiana was clearly disappointed when the news did not make her the sole focus of his attention.
So he invited her to lunch. A spur of the moment thing. She settled on the Tomiko-San restaurant on Eastwood Road. He knew Tiana expected him to balk at the menu’s prices, and showed confusion over his happy acceptance of everything she chose.
Which granted him the chance to say, “I know you don’t like how I won’t tell you about myself.”
“Not at all,” she sniffed. “I’ve always preferred my men to hold a bit of mystery. It adds …” She saw his face fall. “What?”
“I don’t like being put in line with all your other men.”
The restaurant was only about half full, the midafternoon crowd containing three birthday groups who filled the space with their clamor. The waitress had given them a side booth, large enough for six. Tiana slipped from the other bench and said, “Slide over.”
When she was seated beside him, she said, “I was wrong. I meant it as a joke and it came out wrong. I apologize.”
And just like that, everything was fine.
So good, in fact, he told her about himself.
It was the first time he had ever spoken with such ease.
He talked through the entire meal. His only hard moment came when he described making those first crucial investments under the time pressure imposed by his father.
United States Congressman Roger Eames. Tiana listened with wide-eyed solemnity, asking nothing, her only motions to eat and wave away the waitress whenever she approached.
When he finished, she rewarded him with a kiss. Her lips were spiced with the meal’s flavors, chili and garlic and clove and her own special essence.
She pulled back, and he sat there with his eyes closed. Thinking that he would remember this moment for the rest of his life.
Colin followed her directions to a nice home on a big lot in Forest Hills.
Their lunch had left him with little time to spare, but she still insisted he come in and meet them.
At that point, Colin’s ability to refuse her anything had evaporated.
The house was large and modest at the same time, a quiet declaration of wealth and conservative values.
Colin found himself thinking how his father would probably love the place.
The couple fit their home, and were clearly concerned with this young man following Tiana inside.
He spent a few moments going through the motions, then excused himself.
Tiana followed him as far as the front stoop, where she kissed him again.
Colin could feel the elders’ gazes tracking him back to the car, keeping his feet from floating entirely free of the earth.
He took 74 west and made good time. Colin arrived well before the concert was scheduled to start.
He spent a few moments strolling through the surrounding parkland, watching the people enjoying their fancy packed meals and iced buckets of wine.
Beyond the open-air pavilion, the northeast arm of Cape Fear River sparkled in the afternoon light.
When it was time, he joined the early throngs entering the stadium.
A gentle breeze drifted through the hills forming a backdrop to the stage.
Colin marveled at his internal state. The confusion and silent upheaval that had formed an almost constant presence was gone.
In its place was a happy calm, a state so alien he could scarcely accept it as real, much less apply a name.
Angelo and Jaden arrived twenty minutes later.
He exchanged greetings, nodded to their chatter, but the important thing, at least during that incredible moment, was how they treated him as one of them.
A member of the clan. Colin related how he had spent the week.
Studying the musician’s history, his current album, the other musicians playing tonight.
They showed no surprise whatsoever. Instead, it seemed to confirm what they already knew.
The band’s method of introduction was both unique and spectacular.
One by one the four senior band members stepped onto the stage and performed a solo.
Frank Gambale on guitar. Jean-Luc Ponty on violin.
Eric Marienthal on sax. Brian Blade on drums. Finally, the man himself stepped onto the stage. The applause was thunderous.
During their sixth song, it happened.
And it began with the memory of Tiana’s kiss.
Colin found himself inspecting the internal void, the empty point at the center of his heart, and doing so without the customary pain.
Instead, he breathed around it with an element of new comfort, a sensation so alien he had trouble accepting it as real.
A number of others began gathering in that same space, people who cared for him and accepted him for who and what he was.
Friends and now Tiana. Colin struggled to put a name to what he felt, and finally accepted the simple fact that he was becoming a man.
The band had played several cuts from their new album, Lineage.
Corea then switched gears, and played a song from his earlier days with Stanley Clarke and their band Return to Forever.
Soon as the first bar sounded, the crowd erupted.
Colin felt a chill course through his entire body.
The thrill of being surrounded by people so viscerally connected to him, the evening, the music … Amazing.
Midway through the song, Colin watched as his life’s diverse fragments all flowed together. The conflict and resistance and effort that had defined the months …
Gone.
He listened to the music with a new intensity. The fact that some newly awakened portion of his brain now sang in harmony only heightened his ability to hear.
Each of these incredibly talented musicians, they played in tandem. They flowed together. And as a result, the music took on new power. It became greater. It formed …
Colin did not consciously organize his thoughts. They simply flowed, as clear and precise as the band members. The mathematical exactness of jazz. The algorithmic principles. The cartoons. The music theory. The software engineering. The …
He listened to the music, while inwardly he shaped his own.
By the time the melody ended, he knew what he was going to do.