Chapter 9 #3
“The universe came through for me on that front, but the whole thing convinced me I needed to move far away, start over. I’d lived in the city my whole life, but it didn’t feel safe.
Too many bad memories lurking around every corner there.
I wanted to find a place where I could belong, make a new community for myself, work on turning my dream of opening my own salon into a reality.
” I smile. “That’s when I discovered that ad Astraea put out and it got me to thinking that maybe a Sanctuary Haven could be exactly what I needed.
Not gonna lie, it sounded too fucking good to be true.
I’d heard that some Havens don’t allow humans at all, so I wasn’t sure if a human like me would be wanted here, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to visit and find out for myself.
Talking with my therapist about it all eventually convinced me to make the leap.
I packed up what little I owned and hopped on the bus.
” My smile turns into a grin. “And fell in love with this place almost from the instant I set foot on Main Street.”
Hal beams at me. “Mystic Hollow does have that effect on some people. I’m a perfect example as well.”
I nod. “Don’t know if it’s magic or destiny or sheer fucking coincidence, but I’m so glad I followed my gut when I couldn’t get Astraea’s ad out of my head. The rest, as they say, is history.”
I burrow further into Hal’s arms and caress his forearm. “Thanks for listening.” My voice is hoarse from talking so damn much.
He holds me close and strokes my hair. I have to stop myself from purring like a cat.
“You’re a survivor, Skylar. Strong, brave, beautiful. You’ve overcome so much, and I’m so proud to be your boyfriend.” He hesitates and fidgets nervously. “Er… are you okay with that term? Or would you prefer partner?”
Fuck, he’s cute.
“Either’s fine with me. How about you?”
He nods vigorously. “Me too.”
We stay, holding each other, for a long while before I pull back, biting my lip. I look into his warm eyes and then shift my gaze away.
“So, about our relationship. There’s something we need to talk about.
” I hold his gaze. Dr. P and I have talked about what she calls being fully present in my truth, and part of that for me is looking people in the eye because my feelings matter.
“After what happened to me, I haven’t wanted…
you know… to have sex. Truthfully, I’m not sure I ever wanted it that much in the first place or if I’ll ever want it again.
My therapist’s been helping me realize I’m probably what’s called demisexual.
I don’t tend to experience sexual attraction without deeper feelings, and even then, it’s never been something I’ve needed.
I prefer other ways of being close and showing affection.
Hugging, cuddling, kissing, that kind of stuff.
As for the rest?” I shrug. “Well, I understand if no sex is a deal-breaker for you, but I wanted to lay it all out before we go any further.”
Exhausted but relieved I’ve gotten it all out in the open, I deflate a bit after that. I’m proud that I told Hal my story, no matter the outcome.
Hal stares at me with a look of wonder, then pinches himself.
“Ow!”
I frown. “Why’d you do that?”
“I thought I might be dreaming.”
“What?” I’m completely confused now.
He clasps my hands in his, holding them gently.
“Sorry, I’m just overwhelmed, but in a good way.
To allay your worries, I do know what demisexual is.
I’m on the asexual spectrum as well. I don’t desire or enjoy sex and prefer sharing forms of physical intimacy and affection like you do.
In the past, others have turned down having a relationship with me for this very reason.
” He shakes his head slowly. “I never thought I’d find someone compatible with me.
By the Light, I can’t help but feel like this is destiny.
We fit so well in every way, but I have been worried that this one issue could put an end to my hopes and dreams of a relationship with you before we even got fully started. ”
I laugh in relief. “Well, fuck. I’m glad I laid my cards out tonight. Now neither of us needs to angst about this issue anymore.”
“It’s a relief. Thank you for being so brave to broach the subject first. I was struggling to figure out the best way to do so myself, but you beat me to it in the best way possible.”
“I’ve never had a relationship like the one we’re gonna try. Where do you think we start, Mr. Romantic?” I ask teasingly.
Hal smiles sunnily. “We take it slow. A proper romantic courtship.”
Trust Hal to make my gut swoosh with warmth over something I never knew I wanted. “Like in some of those historical romances of yours?”
He flushes. “Kind of. Call me old-fashioned, but I want the chance to court you.”
That sounds… well, super fucking sweet.
“Okay, I’m cool with taking it slow, but you better believe you’re not going to be the only one doing the courting.” I yawn. “Sorry, dredging up all that shit from my past kinda took a lot out of me.”
“Let’s head to bed and talk more in the morning,” Hal says. “We have all the time in the world.”
Even though I’m exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open once I collapse in my bed, I already can’t wait for a new day to start as Hal’s official boyfriend.