Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
ANDIE
“Is the spider going to bite him?” Sarah whispers, her eyes becoming heavier and heavier as she fights sleep and tries to stay awake. It’s a losing battle.
I waited for the guys and Meribella to leave Sarah’s room after tucking her in for the night before I silently slipped inside. I held a finger to my lips when she lit up at seeing me enter her room, and I crawled onto her bed with a copy of Charlotte’s Web I had found in the library.
“No, baby girl. The spider and Wilbur become best friends.”
“Are they going to eat Wilbur?” she gawps out with a huge yawn.
“Fern would never let that happen,” I assure her. “And if anyone tried, Charlotte would bite them ,” I tease.
“Good,” she mumbles.
Sarah is snuggled up to my side, her head pillowed in the crook of my shoulder. I’m having to hold the book in my left hand and flip the pages using my thumb. It’s not easy. My right hand has been busy gently stroking her soft curls, the soothing movements finally putting her to sleep.
I wait until her small body twitches a few times, her brain finally shutting down and allowing her muscles to relax and rest. Her little hand fists my shirt when I try to move, and I smile. The small puffs of air escaping her parted lips fan across my arm as I inch it out from under her, hoping I can ease off the bed without jostling her awake.
“Once she’s down, a herd of trumpeting elephants wouldn’t be able to wake her,” Jax says, and it takes everything I have not to jump in surprise at the sudden intrusion of his voice.
I send him my best mean face for scaring the shit out of me, then finally extricate myself from the tangle of limbs that is Sarah. She rolls over to her side, wrapping her blankets around herself like a burrito. Pulling the small chain that will turn off the unicorn lamp on her bedside table, I bend over and feather a kiss on her cherubic cheek and breathe in the clean orange blossom scent of her shampoo.
“I love you, sweet girl. Once I kill the devil, we will leave this place,” I whisper into her hair.
A deep melancholy settles over me until I feel as if I’m bathing in sadness.
I compose my features before joining Jax. Turning around, I give myself one last, lingering moment. Sarah must be obsessed with unicorns. Everything in her room is unicorn-themed, from her bedspread, to her lamp, to the pajamas she’s wearing, to the tiny figurines and stuffed animals everywhere in her room. I memorize it all. Every detail. Until my blood turns to ice.
The room at the cabin. The room that looked exactly like mine. The children’s books and the stuffed unicorn.
Facing Jax, I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out because the man has rendered me mute. His chest is bare and on full display.
I step closer to his tall form, so I can close Sarah’s bedroom door behind us. The pressure on my chest increases until it’s hard to breathe. Fuck. Fuck! I can feel the panic attack coming. Too many emotions. Too many feelings. Too many memories. They all converge into a solid mass determined to crush me under their weight.
I’ve lived with depression most of my life. I’ve lived with the constant thoughts of giving up. Of not fighting anymore. Life has never been kind to me. It’s been one day after another of struggling to keep my head above water and not drown. Kellan’s death was the tipping point. I was surviving this life because he was still in it. But he’s gone now. I thought getting my revenge would be my final battle, and then I could finally find some peace. But that’s not the case anymore. Sarah has changed everything. I can’t leave this world yet. I won’t leave her.
Needing a distraction, I stare at Jax’s bare chest. With a fingertip, I trace the outline of the thorny roses that encircle a skull inked above his heart. Tiny droplets of blood, shaded a crimson red, gather and drip from the largest thorn.
A warm, callused hand cups my face and lifts it up, until I’m lost in a forest of green behind black-rimmed glasses. My head tilts as it seeks the comfort of the hand holding it. Without a word, Jax reaches down and links our fingers, giving them a slight pull, and I willingly follow him down the hallway. He stops in front of a door and turns the knob, then pulls me inside.
I search Jax’s eyes for a sign. Something. Anything. I might be about to make the biggest mistake of my life, but it’s not going to stop me. Somehow, I know this man, my Reaper, will not fail me. I need my enemy to become my ally. My queen needs her king.
I rest my hands, fingers spread wide, on his chest. I can feel his heart beating, vital and strong.
“I need your help.” I force the words out in a guttural whisper, his grip on my face preventing me from looking anywhere but directly into his eyes.
Jax must sense I’m about to tell him something devastating. Something horrible. He wraps his arms around me and presses my head to his chest, tucking it under his chin. He keeps one hand on the back of my neck, and I quickly ease into the heat of his body, its warmth soothing me in a way nothing else could. I soak it in like a flower under the first morning rays of the sun.
“I was five when my father first came to my room in the middle of the night.”
Jax flinches but says nothing, so I continue.
“The beatings and the abuse started a year before that. There was this cage. I think it was one of those metal cages you put dogs in.”
I shake my head, trying to dislodge that memory. I lost track of how many times my father locked me in that cage over the years, even when I was a teenager. I can still feel the thin, cold, hard metal bars cutting into my skin.
I give in and allow the tears to come, not able to stop them. They trail down Jax’s chest and splatter onto the floor at his feet.
“I had a miscarriage when I was thirteen.”
He needs to know, really know , the danger Sarah is in.
“Fuck. Fuck .” Jax grips me tighter, his chest rising and falling with effort.
“He’ll ruin Sarah,” I speak brokenly against his skin, my lips brushing the bloody thorn of his tattoo. “I need you to promise me that you’ll do what needs to be done to protect her. Promise me that he will never lay a finger on her.”
I don’t have to tell him what that entails.
“Did Kellan know?”
Jax is asking if Kellan knew what my father had been doing to me.
“Yes.”
A strangled moan erupts from deep within his chest. It sounds like the pained wail of an injured animal. He stumbles away from me as if he’s forcibly being ripped from my arms by an intangible rope tied around him. When his back hits the wall, Jax falls like a stone to the floor. I stand there wide-eyed when he looks up at me and I see the tears streaming down his cheeks. I’ve always thought nothing could break Jaxson West. He’s the monster that hides in the shadows. He tortures and kills without remorse. He’s supposed to be unfeeling. Untouchable. But for some unexplainable reason, I’m the thing that breaks him.
He grips his hair and pulls hard, cursing a blue streak. “I didn’t know, Andie.”
I kneel in front of him and place my hands over his bent knees. “I know you didn’t.”
“He took me in. I lived in this house. How could I not fucking know ?” His head swings wildly from side to side. “No wonder you hate us.”
I sit back on my heels and consider that. Do I ? I thought I did. I thought there was nothing stronger than my hate for this man in front of me. My hate for Keane and for Rafe. But right now, looking at my green-eyed angel of death, I’m not so sure anymore.
Today has been an enlightening experience. One where I got to see the softer, gentler sides of three men I came back to destroy. I got to see with my own eyes how much they love Sarah, and how well they treat her and care for her. In just a few hours, I witnessed men shower a little girl, one who isn’t even their own child, with affection and attention, as if she was the center of their universe. As if she was their daughter.
“Tell me right here and right now, Jax. Will you help me?”
Foregoing everything I had planned, everything I had meticulously thought out and put into motion, I’d give it all up in this moment for Sarah’s protection.
Jax takes off his glasses and scrubs his face dry with the palms of his hands. “Andie, we may have a problem.”
My heart soars when he says we , but then quickly plummets to my stomach at the word problem .
Before I can ask what the problem is, he opens his mouth, and what he tells me upends my world once again.
“Your father made a deal with Julio Ortiz.”
“I don’t understand.”
He laughs bitterly, and that queasy, greasy feeling in the pit of my stomach returns with a vengeance.
“Jax, what?”
“The contract has been signed. You’re being given to Alejandro. You’re going to be his wife.”
What. The. Fuck?
Before he can stop me, I rush down the hallway in a tornado of rage.
“Where is he?”
If Jax doesn’t tell me where Rafe is, I will bust down every door in this fucking house to find him.
“East wing, third door to the left.”
I fly past armed guards to the other side of the house. I hear Jax telling them not to interfere if they hear anything.
First door, second. I come to a standstill at the third door to the left and kick it in, knocking it off its hinges with a loud crack.
Rafe shoots up from the bed, eyes wild at being suddenly woken, but I’m tackling him to the mattress before he’s able to reach for the gun I know will be in the drawer of his bedside table.
Finally registering it’s me, he says, “ Mierda , Andie, what the?—”
Locking my knees to his chest to keep him in place, I slam my fist into his face to shut him up, then I hit him again. Rafe tries to throw me off and roll us over, but I push down on his chest with all my weight, digging my forearm into his throat to cut off his air supply. Rafe’s beautiful blue eyes bulge, tiny red veins popping along the whites surrounding the irises as I strangle the life out of him. I don’t care that I’m killing him. I can’t see past the red hazing my vision with anger.
“The fuck?” Keane shouts, rushing into the room, wearing only a pair of snug-fitting boxer shorts.
I’m violently pulled back in a chokehold similar to the one I’m giving Rafe. I kick back, hoping to connect my foot with something that will loosen Keane’s hold on me. Rafe sits up, coughing violently as his lungs fill with much-needed air.
Still struggling against Keane, I scream at Rafe, “You must have known! You should have told me! You’re a fucking coward! You should have told me!”
They all knew the deal my father had made, and they said nothing. I’m being signed, sealed, and delivered to the Ortiz Cartel like nothing more than a piece of property put up for auction. I’m a fucking business exchange, and for what? More power? More money? More drugs? More of what my father and Julio already have but they are both too greedy and want more. Rafe is already marrying Rita, so why the fuck throw me into the mix?
I understand now my father’s easy acceptance at my declaration that I wanted to take Kellan’s place in the business. I thought I was being so clever. So smart. I thought I could become the Trojan horse that would infiltrate my father’s domain and take him down from the inside. Turns out, I was a fucking idiot. I played right into my father’s hands like the little fool that I am. I served myself up to him on a silver platter. I’m so damn stupid.
Knowing what my father has planned also explains the conversation between Rafe and Keane in the kitchen at the cabin.
“I will stab your brother in the heart before I ever let him lay a hand on me! I will never marry Alejandro! Fuck you! I hate you! You should have told me!”
“Calm the hell down,” Keane growls in my ear.
“You should have told me!”
A quiet snick has my next words dying on my tongue and the room going silent.
“Let her go.”
Keane slowly releases me, and I turn around to see Jax holding his knife against Keane’s throat. I stare at them absolutely dumbfounded.
Rafe rolls off the bed and stands up, his hand vigorously rubbing his throat. His voice is raw and husky when he says, “Jax, put the knife down.”
From my peripheral, I see Rafe reach for the bedside drawer, and I check him by moving to the side to block him from getting his gun.
Keane remains motionless, but his tone of voice is menacing. “Get your fucking hands off me.”
“I can’t do that, brother,” Jax regretfully tells him, pressing the knife into the soft skin under Keane’s throat. Keane hisses as a tiny well of blood oozes out around the tip of the blade.
I don’t know how to process what I’m seeing. Jax is choosing to help me. He’s choosing me over his two best friends. The tsunami of relief mixed with wonderment that floods my senses has me dizzy and unsteady on my legs.
“Max played us. He lied to us. He’s been lying to us. He’s been lying to me . And we’re not leaving this room until you’ve listened to every goddamn word Andie has to say.”
I hold my breath, waiting to see what happens next, but also preparing to fight my way out of the room and get to Sarah if things go badly. Keane raises his hands up in front of himself in a sign of supplication. Jax lifts those otherworldly eyes at me and for a long second, we stare at one another as something important, something intimate, passes between us. I acknowledge it with a small, perceptible nod, and Jax eases the knife away from Keane’s throat.
Keane doesn’t relax, however, knowing Jax’s capabilities as well as he does. He understands that if he makes any sudden moves, Jax will be on him before he can twitch a finger.
Sliding the apple of his palm up his neck to wipe away the thin trail of blood caused by Jax’s knife, Keane addresses me directly. “Alright, princess. You have our attention.”
It takes me a few minutes before I’m able to speak. It was easier confessing my horrible secrets when it was just me and Jax. Perhaps it’s because he and I are so much alike. We’re both severely damaged people with empty souls. For some reason, I find it almost impossible to repeat the words to Keane. But I do. I have to. I hold nothing back. I tell him everything, even things I didn’t tell Jax.
As I finish, I can see the shame and the regret wash over Rafe and know he’s remembering our last time together. The time when Max found us in bed and Rafe was forced to watch as my father whipped me until I passed out. Jax is the only one left standing in the room by the time I’m through baring my ugly truths. I’m sitting on the floor at his feet and he’s towering over me like a protector. Keane and Rafe are seated on the edge of the bed, both of their heads hanging low on hunched shoulders; their forearms propped on their thighs.
“Why didn’t Kellan tell us? Why didn’t he do anything?” Keane says to himself.
Jax finally lowers to a seated position behind me, and I jolt when he pulls me back between the V of his outstretched legs until I’m molded to his chest. He circles his arms around me, but I’m too wound up to relax into the uneasy comfort he’s trying to provide.
“Tell them about the miscarriage,” Jax says, and I stiffen. “You can’t leave anything out, Andie. They need to know everything.”
Rafe’s head jerks up, and my eyes well when I see the loss that mars his face. “It wasn’t yours. It was his,” I quietly tell him.
In a blur of movement, Rafe rushes into the adjoining bathroom and the sounds of him retching into the toilet fill the room, followed by a stream of vocal motherfuckers as he throws things against the wall.
“We can’t let this slide,” Jax tells Keane.
A heavy sigh escapes Keane’s lips.
“Keane, we would kill a man for a lesser offense. What he did is unforgiveable.”
Keane stands up and joins me and Jax on the floor. Scooting up to my front, his legs go on either side of Jax’s until I’m sandwiched between the two men. Rafe comes out of the bathroom a minute later with red-rimmed eyes. He doesn’t hesitate to join our huddle on the floor. All three men are surrounding me, touching me, protecting me. They look at me with steely determination.
“We’ll figure something out. I just don’t know what yet.”