Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
ANDIE
Hitting the red button to end the call with Tessa, I stare down at my phone, my heart heavy. Still no change with Rafe.
“This is fucking insane,” Jax murmurs, slowly reading down a page before flipping to the next, his entire attention on Kellan’s old journal in front of him.
The guys are seated around the end of the dining room table. I’m sitting cross-legged on top of it, being lulled into a sense of calm I really don’t feel by Liam’s hand which has been absentmindedly caressing my thigh while we wait.
Patience has never been a virtue of mine, and right now, I’m having to literally stop my hand from snatching Kellan’s journal away from Jax. Apparently, he and Keane have no problem understanding the gibberish Kellan wrote on the pages. My skin feels itchy and too tight, making it impossible to sit still. Giving up, I swing my legs around and hop off the table.
“Be right back,” I tell the guys, already walking off to get some air and to think.
I really do fucking hate being in this house. Even though he was joking, Jax had the right idea. I should douse everything in gasoline and burn it to the ground. I keep discovering more of Kellan’s secrets and lies. And it hurts, so damn much, to find out that the brother I adored and worshipped, the brother I was ready to die for, had been lying to me my entire life. And deep down, I just know his journal will shatter me once again.
The hairs on my neck rise as I sense someone coming up behind me. I’m not surprised when that someone is Liam. His hand lightly brushes up the curve of my hip as we walk, his touch providing me with an anchor to keep me grounded. It’s baffling how he always seems to know when I need that. He saved me from spiraling on the day of Kellen’s funeral, and again at Declan’s cottage when he kneeled at the foot of the bed all night, then later soothed me in the shower. There is a stark dichotomy between what he does versus how he is with me, and I’m coming to realize that I desperately need that part of him. Each of these enigmatic, violent men fills a different compartment of the empty, broken pieces of me. How can this, whatever it is, work between the five of us? Keane and Jax, Liam, and Rafe—and me. They can barely be in the same room with one another without threats being hurled and guns being drawn.
Leading us down a hallway to the back of the house, I stop us in front of a false panel in the wall that hides a nondescript door. My heart pounds viciously in my chest as the compulsion to flee grows stronger the longer I stand here.
“Want to see my childhood?” I ask him, pushing the false panel and entering the code I memorized as a teenager that will reveal a metaphorical gate into the bowels of hell. The hell I lived in for fifteen years.
In answer, Liam takes my hand in his, our fingers threading like matching puzzle pieces.
As soon as the door unlocks and opens, the caustic stench of bleach immediately hits us. Death. It’s the smell of death. I force my feet to move down the stairs with Liam in tow, recessed overhead fluorescent lights flickering on as we go. When the last light illuminates and we’re standing in the middle of a cavernous, gray room, I flinch. Instruments of torture I know all too well are neatly displayed on a table along the far wall. Chains dangle from the ceiling and another set is bolted to the wall on my left. A car battery sits in the corner with jumper cable leads coiled around it.
“Fucking hell,” Liam breathes under his breath, and his hand clenches mine tighter.
“Yes, it was,” I reply and pull him to a second door, the one that leads to a “secret” room which isn’t all that secret. There’s a padlock securing it, preventing me from opening it. My forehead touches the cool metal of the door, and I raise my unencumbered hand to splay wide across it as silent tears gather and spill down my cheeks. I need to do this. I need to see it. It’s the only way I can move on and find some semblance of closure. Max is dead. He can’t hurt me anymore.
Liam lets me go and quietly returns holding a crowbar he finds propped beside the table. Instead of using it to pry the padlock off, he hands it to me. My fingers grip the rusted iron until my knuckles go white. With a small nod of his head when I glance up at him, he steps back.
Using all my might, I wield it over my head and smash it down. The impact of metal-on-metal jars my arms. It takes just one more hit before the lock cracks open and falls to the floor in two pieces.
The hurried thumping of boots getting nearer causes me to hesitate just as I’m about to push open the door.
“Tinker Bell?—”
Liam scowls at Keane. “Back off.”
“Let her do this,” Jax says to Keane, one-arming his chest to stop him from getting to me.
With precise movements, I open the door, allowing light to spear inside.
As I take one tentative step into the room, my heart rate increases until it feels like I’m on the verge of cardiac arrest.
A lone beam of light shines on the small, rectangular cage in the middle of the room. I look over my shoulder at Liam, whose face is devoid of any reaction or emotion. But I can feel the rage emanating off him.
“ This is my childhood,” I tell him, and walk fully inside.
All three men gather at the doorway but make no move to follow me.
I slowly circle the metal prison. It looks so much smaller than I remember. Every moment I spent in this dark room—inside that thing—comes back full force. Sometimes, I would be stuck in it for days with no food or water. There was no place to use the bathroom, and I would be forced to piss and defecate in the corner. My skin would mar with raw, painful lines from the metal bars, and my muscles would cramp from being hunched for long periods of time. Knowing Rafe endured the same, sends me into a violent fit of insanity.
I don’t know how long I scream as I pummel the steel bars with the crowbar. I hit the fucking thing, over and over, until my voice is hoarse, and my arms feel like they’re going to dislocate and fall right off my shoulders. But it’s not enough.
In a blind fury, I push past the wall of men watching me warily from the doorway and run up the steps two at a time. As soon as I make it to the main floor, I destroy everything in my sight with the crowbar still gripped in my hands. The first thing I slash to shreds is that stupid fucking portrait of Max. Every priceless vase, bust, and expensive piece of artwork I lay eyes on gets the same treatment.
Leaving a trail of destruction in my wake, I blur past a confounded Dante and several other men in the foyer as I run up the stairs to the second floor. No one stops me or makes a sound. I wouldn’t be able to hear them anyway from the pounding filling my ears. I know the guys will have my back and won’t let anyone stop me.
With a single purpose, I stalk down the hall of the east wing, kicking in the door to my old bedroom. I hate this room. I hate everything it represents. I hate Maximillian Rossi for what he did to me. I hate Cecelia McCarthy for allowing him to hurt me. For keeping me from my real father. I hate Kellan for lying to me. But more than any of that, I hate myself for being so weak for so long. Never again.
Rage washes over me as I rip my room apart, piece by piece. Nothing is spared, not even the window when I swing the crowbar at the glass, raining jagged shards down onto the ground below. The only thing left intact by the time I’m done is the bed. I eye it with menace. It deserves a special place in hell.
Lowered male voices have me looking over. I half-expect Kellan to be there, haunting me per usual. But it’s not him standing five feet away. It’s them . My Grim Reaper, my angel-turned-devil, and Keane, my savage king. Men who were once my enemies. Men who will now be my absolution.
Everything around me focuses to a pinpoint until all I see is them. My limbs tremble violently from the adrenaline spiking through my veins. Sweat trickles down my face and my back from the manic exertion of pummeling everything in my path with the crowbar. But for the first time since being back in this house, I can finally breathe.
Without a second’s thought, I peel my shirt over my head. There’s only one way to fully eradicate the demons in this room, and it’s to purge them completely. Something good to replace the bad. I need a new memory to help erase all the nightmare ones. Something that I choose, not something that is taken from me without my permission.
And I choose them.
As soon as my shirt hits the trash-littered floor, all three men stand taller at attention. My gaze lands on each of them as I make my intentions crystal clear.
Jax’s moss-green eyes shine like verdant flames behind his glasses. His dark blond hair is scraped back from his forehead, his face a tight mask of lust as his eyes rove over the scrap of black lace covering my tits. The darkness inside of him calls to me. Ripples of both fear and arousal swirl inside my gut as I look at him. Beautifully damaged .
As I carefully unclip my knife holster and push my leggings over my hips and down my thighs, I switch my sights to Liam, his steel-gray irises glowing, reminding me of a full moon in a clear night sky. A lock of mahogany brown hair falls over his face, giving it a boyish softness. There’s a reason I always likened him to an angel. Liam is both dark and light. Devil and angel.
A masculine groan I can’t pinpoint from whom pierces the quietude of the room when my fingers slide into the edges of my panties.
Last, I meet Keane’s heavy, penetrating hazel gaze, and wetness soaks the gossamer fabric of my thong at the animalistic desire I see directed at me. Keane and I are complete opposites, while also being the same. Perhaps that’s why we clash so often. We’re both stubborn and strong-willed. We both seek to control the uncontrollable world around us.
Finally unhooking my bra and letting it slide off my shoulders, I stand there in front of these dangerous men, completely naked. More naked than I’ve ever felt because I’m not just exposing my body to them; I’m exposing the vulnerable woman underneath. A woman whose heart belongs to four men. The air charges with something indescribable, but I feel it, nonetheless. The power of it weakens my knees and makes me dizzy. A moan escapes past my lips and they haven’t even physically touched me yet.
My left hand graces a gentle stroke over Rafe’s bracelet, and I close my eyes, picturing that he’s here with us now. I won’t be complete until I have all four men with me, by my side. Soon , I whisper, opening my eyes and locking them directly on Jax.
“Ruin me.” I speak the words I told him the first time we were together.
I expect Jax to rush in and stake his claim like he did before, but it’s Keane who is the first to move. The tender way he’s looking at me sends a million butterflies scattering along my skin. Lately, I’ve gotten more glimpses of this softer side of Keane, and I still don’t know how to respond to it. Breathless, I watch him approach, a serious expression on his face as his eyes start at my legs and move up, drinking in my nakedness. I still carry bruises that haven’t fully healed, but Keane doesn’t seem to notice.
When he stops directly in front of me, he cups one hand at the base of my neck and molds the other over my breast. “Goddamn beautiful.”
A hitch of air whooshes from my lungs and I tingle everywhere from his nearness. Stroking his thumb across the underside of my jaw, he lowers his head, our eyes connected, until our mouths are almost touching. We stay like that for a long beat, just breathing each other in, the anticipation of feeling his kiss making me lightheaded and causing goose bumps to erupt every-fucking-where. I want him to kiss me more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.
I don’t know what to do with my hands. The urge to rip his clothes off is overwhelming. Not able to wait any longer, I raise up on tiptoe just as heat scorches me from behind as Jax drops to his knees. They don’t give me a second to question what they’re doing when Keane finally kisses me just as Jax’s fingers slick between my folds and slide into my pussy, sending me on an instant high of sudden, unexpected pleasure.
Holy fuck . Keane’s tongue melding with mine is a weapon that has me instantly submitting. I may be a badass bitch who refuses to yield to anyone, but right now, I’m theirs—body, heart, and soul.
Keane swallows my moans as I lose myself in the way they are making me float. Higher and higher, the pressure builds deep in my core. I thought about this happening between the three of us again since that night in this room. Touched myself too many times to the memory of it.
Keane plunges deep into my mouth, his taste addictive. Jax curls his fingers to hit the spot inside of me he knows will send me flying within seconds. I’m about to go up into flames when everything stops.
Panting, I open my eyes to find Keane looking down at me, a question in his eyes, wanting to make sure I want this. I know he and Jax won’t make another move until I say it out loud.
“Yes,” I demand. “ Please .” Max will no longer own any part of me. I will finally, finally , be free.
Keane turns his head slightly and peers over his shoulder at Liam. His back is leaning against the wall, arms folded at his chest, a massive bulge straining against his fly, and an angry look settled on his too-handsome face.
“Liam,” I call for him. I need all of them. I need the three of them to break me apart, then put me back together.
Liam’s tall form straightens from his semi-relaxed position. His muscles are taut and strain with how much effort it’s taking to hold himself back. “I don’t share, bella .”
If he wants me to beg, I will. It’s on the tip of my tongue when Keane grabs my ass cheeks and lifts me easily in his arms.
“You will tonight, motherfucker,” he replies, his voice low and threatening.
He carries me over to where Liam is standing. My legs automatically wrap around Keane’s waist and my hands fist his hair as I attack his full, soft lips, kissing him until I can’t breathe.
My back is suddenly shoved to Liam’s chest until I’m sandwiched between the two men. Keane presses in between my thighs to hold me in place, but it doesn’t matter. Liam’s arms wrap around to my front, taking an aching breast in each of his rough hands. My head whips back, fitting perfectly in the dip at his shoulder, and a long moan releases when he rolls and pulls at my nipples.
The sound of a zipper coming undone has me finding Jax. His green eyes darken as I watch him strip out of his clothes, exposing the ink painted on his skin I can’t seem to get enough of. Such lethal beauty.
“Make her come. I want to hear her scream,” Jax states huskily, sliding his hand from the base of his cock up to the tip, and my mouth goes dry.
As if they’ve practiced it a thousand times, Liam’s hands move to take possession of holding me up, while Keane goes to his knees, spreading my thighs wide apart. His warm breath brushes over my pussy and I about come just from that. My clit throbs painfully, begging to be taken by his tongue, the memories of last time still fresh in my mind.
With his hands now occupied, Liam bends to my neck and kisses a path up to my ear. He whispers filthy words to me that cause my back to arch into him. Keane dives in and doesn’t wait, French-kissing my core with a ferocity that has me crying his name. I reach one arm behind me to grip the back of Liam’s head as the other delves into the soft locks of Keane’s hair, holding him in place.
“Eyes on me, Angel,” Jax commands, and I immediately obey, moaning as I watch him jack himself off as he watches every nuance of my reaction to Keane going down on me.
Liam’s hips begin to undulate behind me, his steel-hard cock pushing into my buttocks as he holds me in place. The thought of him taking me there while Keane fucks me has my orgasm rushing up hot and fast.
A low rumble emits from Keane as he sucks my clit into his mouth, pulling hard. Two fingers slick inside of me, sliding in easily because I’m so fucking wet right now. I’m never going to come back from this. I’ll never want anything but this. These men are mine, just as I am theirs. And they’ve ruined me completely.
Keane bites my clit at the same time Liam bites my neck, and Jax says, “Now.”
It’s like I was waiting for him to say it, because as soon as I hear that one word, I explode. The air in my throat locks up, my muscles seize, and I scream incoherently as euphoria like I’ve never felt before floods my bloodstream.
Keane takes my twitching body from Liam and carries me to the bed where Jax is sitting at the end, waiting.
“Ready for me, baby?” he asks, taking me from Keane.
I grasp Jax’s shoulders, so hard and warm under my palms. “I’m always ready for you, Reaper,” I tell him, sliding down his rigid length with shaky legs that haven’t recovered yet from round one.
I give a worried glance at the bandage on his shoulder.
Jax tips my chin up. “I’m good, Angel. Now ride my cock.”
“Princess, you are so fucking hot taking our boy’s dick like a dirty girl,” Keane says behind me, moving my hair aside to place a soft kiss to my shoulder blade. His scarred hands trace my spine, sending shivers across my back.
Liam comes to my right side, bending low to suck a nipple into his mouth as I rise up and drop back down on Jax. The grunt Jax makes is sexy as hell. Liam flicks his tongue and swirls it until my nipple is pebbled tight and I’m gasping from how good it feels.
“Damn, man. Whatever you’re doing, she’s about to choke the life out of my dick,” Jax groans. I feel him pulsing inside me like a heartbeat. He had already worked himself up watching me come on Keane’s tongue, so I know he won’t last much longer.
Liam stands back up and grabs a fistful of my hair, jerking my head to the side and kissing me. Keane’s hands haven’t stopped touching me. Everything feels so damn good. Too good. It’s complete overload having three men pleasure me. I whimper when Liam backs away, but Keane takes over, forcing my head back so he can kiss me next.
I tense up when I feel his finger slide between my ass cheeks and rim my back hole. “This is mine,” he growls. “But not tonight.”
Then it’s Jax’s turn again.
As his tongue swipes deep into my mouth to possess me, he flips our position. As soon as my back hits the mattress, he’s between my legs and nudging my folds with the head of his cock, teasing me. I gaze up at him in awe, my hands mapping every tattoo. His chest is insane. Jax isn’t as wide as Keane or Liam, but his muscles are defined more. I rub my thumbs over each of his toned abdominal bumps, counting them as I go. When I get to the V-cut at his waist, I dig in, holding tight.
“I like putting my mark on you,” he says, tracing the small cut he made with his knife that has scabbed over.
Reaching up, I remove his glasses. Keane takes them from me and places them somewhere I can’t see because my eyes are all on Jax. With graceful fingers, I graze my fingertips over the scratchy stubble of his jaw and over his dark blond brows.
“I like your mark on me,” I reply, cupping his face between my hands.
A tender look comes over him that takes my breath away. I swear he mouths, “I’ve always loved you, Andie.” Then he pushes inside me, claiming me.
Jax slides a hand under my left thigh and lifts it over his shoulder, swiveling his hips forward until he’s seated fully, his balls slapping against my ass. He lowers down to my chest, resting the side of his face to where my heart beats underneath his ear. It’s such an intimate gesture for someone who has known nothing but death and pain his whole life.
After a minute, he lifts up, and Jax’s inked hands caress my face as if I were the most precious thing. He gives me soulful kisses as he shows me what it feels like to make love. It’s sweet and poignant and very unexpected from a man like him. My Grim Reaper.
So many raw emotions crash into me at that moment as our bodies come together again and again. Other than the young, teenage love I had with Rafe, I’ve never felt this before. Not by a man. The love I had for my brother was different. It wasn’t the love a woman expects to feel for her man, her soulmate. Is that what I’m feeling? This bone-deep ache in my soul that strangles my heart until it feels like I can’t breathe? The adage says the flip side of hate is love. I thought I hated these men. Perhaps, I never really did.
I wouldn’t have thought I’d be skyrocketing toward another orgasm so quickly again, but I guess your senses get heightened when emotions are involved, because Jax has me edging to that precipice where my body is about to shatter and fly apart in a million glittery pieces.
Clawing his shoulders, I arch my back and raise my hips to meet his slow thrusts.
“Close your eyes,” he says, and I allow them to flutter shut.
Jax pulls out of me and kisses his way down my body, stopping at my pussy to lick it with his pierced tongue until I’m moaning wildly. Then he’s gone. I whine in protest, reaching out to bring him back, when Liam takes Jax’s place between my legs. I can tell it’s him immediately from the cold metal of his Jacob’s ladder scraping across my clit.
Liam smooths his fingers down my body and back up again. When his thumbs swipe over my erect nipples, I gasp at the tiny sparks his touch ignites. My skin is so sensitized now, every touch feels like a shock of electricity that spreads out over my body in pulsating waves.
A breeze eddies through the room from the broken window and goose bumps form from the chill as it skates over my flushed body. Liam’s lips track down the column of my neck, and I tilt my head to give him better access. When I do, my vision fills with Keane, who is standing next to the bed, completely naked, fisting himself as he watches me and Liam with lust-filled eyes. It turns me on even more being watched by him. His hungry gaze promising me that when he finally takes me, it will be all-consuming.
I give myself a moment to eye-fuck his gorgeous, tattooed body; his thick, solid muscles; his long cock that I know will be able to hit my G-spot with ease. I have to force myself to tear my eyes away from his powerful visage and return my attention to Liam, knowing Keane will claim me for the first time soon enough.
“Now, Liam,” I whisper, and he doesn’t disappoint.
The bars of his ladder drag over my sensitive flesh as he finally breaches my entrance, and my breath stutters. He inches his way inside me with shallow thrusts until my walls are able to grip him tightly to keep him in place. I could die like this and not give a damn.
Liam tangles the fingers of both my hands with his, lifting my arms above my head. My spine bows into a convex arch, bringing my tits flush with his chest. The faint smattering of his chest hair rasps against my nipples, and I squirm underneath him. Like with Jax, Liam makes love to me while his kisses probe deep, stealing the breath from my lungs. Our hands clench tighter together, and tears gather in my eyes because it’s all too much, but not enough. Again, I’m quickly brought right to the height of orgasm. It reminds me of our make-out session on the couch when he asked me if I’d ever been edged before. A gush of wetness floods out of me just thinking about it, and Liam must notice I’m soaking his cock because he groans in pleasure.
I meet his stormy gray eyes and smile up at him. As he fucks me, Liam takes his time, smoothing back my sweat-slicked hair from my face and whispering words to me that sound like Gaelic that have me swooning. I sigh blissfully when his lips press butterfly kisses against the corners of my mouth, my cheeks, and the creases of my eyes.
Just like Jax, Liam pulls out, and I look over at Keane expectantly. Jax has taken residence at the head of the bed, legs splayed and beautifully naked. My mouth literally waters at the prospect of taking his cock in my mouth as Keane or Liam fucks me from behind. But not yet.
I crawl off the bed and walk over to Keane, careful not to step on all the broken pieces of glass and splintered furniture that litter the floor.
He pops an eyebrow at me in that smug way that used to irritate the shit out of me. But now, all it does is just make me hotter for him. Keane stands still as I circle around him, my hand sliding over his smooth, silky skin as I go. The guy is fucking massive, everywhere. The teenage boys I once knew are now men. Rugged and unforgiving; their bodies are different, changed, but so damn beautiful, it’s sometimes hard to look at them.
Stopping at Keane’s back, I caress my hands down to feel every hard inch of him, and my fingertips prickle, happy to be able to touch him like this, whereas before, all they wanted to do was claw his eyes out. Needing to taste his skin, I run my tongue over the flaming phoenix on his back. My heart clenches when I see Rafe’s words, “DEATH IS ONLY THE BEGINNING,” inked at the dip of his spine. I kiss the charms on my bracelet, then lower down to the floor on my haunches, so I can get a better look at the Tinker Bell tattoo I’d caught a glimpse of right above Keane’s ankle.
You’ve always been mine… ours . Keane’s words from before.
I can feel the slight tremble in his muscles as I stand back up. My hands cup his tight, round ass and squeeze because I can’t help myself. Circling back around, I literally climb his body until I’m able to lock my legs around him and circle my arms around his neck.
“Make me yours.”
The sweetness Jax and Liam showed me—men who are cold-blooded killers—was my undoing. Just like I wanted them to, they broke me apart with their tenderness. But now it’s time to put me back together by forging me in fire.
“I need you to fuck me.”
Keane doesn’t wait for me to say it twice. With a strength I’ve never seen in a man, he lifts me up with his arms and impales me on his cock where he stands. The brutal penetration has me shouting out a “Fuck, yes!” My legs lock tight at the ankles, and I dive right in, taking his bottom lip and biting it.
“So goddamn savage,” he grunts, but I feel the curve of his lips against mine.
He clutches the globes of my ass with a forceful grip that I know will leave bruises, and my mind rejoices that I will wear his mark on my skin. We work in tandem as he pounds into me—his hands lift me up until I sit on the tip of his cock, before I use the muscles in my thighs to squeeze his waist with brute force and slam myself back down.
It’s fast and hard and exactly what I crave. Our breaths pant out as our kisses become sloppy. When I feel the orgasm rising and promising me sweet oblivion, my head falls back and my honey-brown hair cascades around us. My walls clamp down around him, and I fly apart moaning Keane’s name.
“Andie, fuck ,” he rasps gutturally, shuddering wildly as he comes inside me.
The sound of his low moan sets me off again, and I climax a second time. The world tilts on its axis as he stumbles over to the bed, and we both fall onto it in a tangled mess.
With his softening cock still planted inside me, Keane and I kiss for a long time, our eyes locked on one another.
The mattress dips on my right and above us, and I twist around to bring Jax to me so I can kiss him too. Then I tilt my head to look up at where Liam is gazing at me from above. I crook my finger at him, and he flashes me a blinding smile before he bends over and slips me his tongue, kissing me languidly and with reverence.
“Thank you,” I tell them, curling up into Keane’s side and burying my nose in his neck. His arm wraps around me, holding me in place, and he presses a soft kiss to the top of my head.
My body feels purged from the demons of my past. I’m sated, exhausted, and replete. I’m at peace for the first time in my life.
But it’s only the beginning.
I give myself five minutes to enjoy the quiet of being held in Keane’s arms, and then I untangle myself from him and crawl over to Jax until I’m straddling his chest. He gives me a wicked grin, which I return happily.
“Ready for round three?”
“Angel, you won’t be able to walk a straight line once I’m done with you.”
Jax slaps my ass, the sting it causes revving me up once again. He stands up, tosses my naked body over his shoulder, and carries me out of the room and into another down the hall. I can tell it’s Keane’s immediately from the lingering scent of his cologne in the air. From there, things blur together. I lose count how many orgasms they give me, or how many times Jax, Keane, and Liam take me. Sometimes, it’s just them fucking me one at a time like before. Other times, it’s a free-for-all of four people tangled together like some erotic tangram. By the time we succumb to exhaustion, I’m sore all over, covered in a mixture of cum, and I have hickeys and bite marks everywhere. I’ve never been happier in my life.