Chapter 14 #2
The group went quiet. It was out in the open—the worry Leila had been forcing aside for days. The worry She didn’t want to face. There was no delaying it any longer. She hadn’t any other solutions, yet She couldn’t bring Herself to take the Kayas’ earnings.
Raphael shifted in his seat. “Sabine said they’re baking sweet rolls in the kitchen. I should probably earn my keep.” He stood, leaving the group with a nod. “I’ll let you all discuss.”
He left the chamber, closing the door behind him. Leila sat in tense silence, gaze flitting between Tobias, Naomi, and Yucana—the family who held the power to save Her own, a sacrifice She couldn’t imagine.
“We have the coin.” Naomi ended the quiet, eyes bright and voice brighter. “We have plenty.”
Leila sighed. Of course she’d say that. “It’s your allowance from the Sovereign’s Tournament.”
“And?” Tobias said.
Leila looked his way. “You earned it.” She turned to Naomi and Yucana. “You’ve all earned it.”
“And we can spend it how we please,” he countered.
“You risked your life, nearly died on multiple occasions, for the sake of that allowance.”
“Fine.” Tobias folded his arms and leaned back in his seat.
“Then let’s be rational. This coin is an investment in our future.
Because if You die, then the land dies, and if the land dies, then the people die, and we are among the people, so we will die as well.
Yes, we will be without resources. But the alternative is chaos, and You know it. ”
“I, too, would prefer not to die, if that needed any clarification,” Naomi added.
Restlessness overtook Leila like ants skittering beneath Her flesh. “I could just . . .”
“Let Your staff rot?” Tobias raised an eyebrow. “We both know that’s not happening.”
“I feel as though I’m being selfish.”
“You’re making a great sacrifice for the sake of Your family. That’s the opposite of selfishness.” He turned to his mother. “Right?”
Leila cowered. Yucana hadn’t yet spoken, her carriage stiff and expression unreadable.
At least she hadn’t any colors to spare.
For once, Leila was grateful for that, as colors meant strong, potent emotions, and Yucana didn’t seem to have any of those at the moment.
That was a good sign, perhaps? But that didn’t stop Leila’s nerves from piquing, nor did it quell Her guilt.
“I’ve had enough of death, seen more of it in these past few weeks than I’d known in my whole lifetime,” Yucana finally spoke. “It’d be comforting to save lives. A balm for the soul.”
Her words should’ve offered Leila relief, but She felt wounded instead. “It’s too much to ask.”
“Is it?” Yucana’s gaze panned to Leila. “Haven’t we enough blood on our hands?”
Leila opened Her mouth to speak but stopped short. Yucana’s tone was even, giving little indication of her mood, but there was something bitter and condemning about her choice of words.
“It’s settled then.” Tobias turned to Leila. “We’re in agreement. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
His voice was bright, but his soft gaze was laced with sadness. There was so much to lose—Her army, his livelihood. But the beginnings of a smile played at his lips, tempering Her guilt. He of all people knew a great deal about sacrificing for family.
“I don’t need it all.”
Without a word, Tobias pushed out his chair and ducked beneath their squeaky bed, pulling out two, three, four heavy sacks. He slammed them onto the table, their contents clanking.
“How much?” He poured one of the bags out, spilling gold across the wood grain. “Mathematics was never my strong suit. I’m an artist, after all.”
Leila kneaded Her forehead. “Tobias . . .”
“Just say it.”
Her heart sagged, but She resigned Herself to the task, training Her eyes on the shimmering pile.
She knew the sum. She’d counted it in Her head many times over, but still She sat unmoving, staring at the felt bags as if they were staring right back.
Clenched, She scooted one full bag to the side, then a second.
Next, She targeted the spilled pile, separating the coin into equal stacks while Her teeth ground together, threatening to crumble away.
She looked to Yucana, who remained stoic, then Naomi, whose dark eyes were expectant. Resisting the urge to cringe, She pushed half of the stacked coins with the rest of the sum.
So much gold, gone in seconds. As the Kayas eyed the projected payment, She held Her breath.
Tobias swept the remaining spilled coin into Her pile. “As a contingency,” he said. “In case they refuse.”
One felt bag. That was all that remained of their coin. All they had to support their journey, to finance Her army. Only a quarter of Tobias’s hard-earned funds remained to his name, yet his voice hadn’t wavered. His steadfastness both warmed and pained Her, a kiss too pure for Her sullied cheek.
“Do you consent?” Leila asked Yucana and Naomi, though She couldn’t bear to look them in the eyes.
They nodded in agreement, though a part of Leila wished they’d resist. They had already lost so much, and She was taking what little they had left. Everything about the decision felt wrong, but Delphi’s and Pippa’s faces filled Leila’s mind, rekindling Her resolve.
“I’ll give Isa the news.”
“Of course not.” Tobias stood from his seat. “I’ll tell them.”
“It’s My family,” Leila said. “It’s My obligation.”
“But they’ve already dealt with me.”
Leila rose to Her feet and raised Her chin. “Then it’s time for them to speak with their queen.”
Something akin to pride or arousal beamed in Tobias’s eyes, and he nodded.
They separated the contingency gold into a smaller bag that She tied to Her belt above Her bum, then slung the rest over Her shoulder in two hefty sacks that weighed on Her like marble slabs.
Pressing down the folds of Her dress, She bid the Kayas farewell and headed for the holder’s study.
She’d had plenty of meetings with detestable men, and the holder, however cantankerous, was hardly a bloodthirsty senator.
Still, the task ahead seemed insurmountable, like scaling the tallest tower without a grappling hook.
She’d waged war for Her own life many times before, but fighting for those She loved was another beast entirely. Somehow, the stakes felt higher.
Leila rapped on the study door, waiting for permission that never came. Fuck it. She made Her way inside.
Drab, bland, and barren—such a contrast to the spectacle below with its violet curtains and sex splayed across every surface.
Isa sat behind a massive desk, much smaller in stature than Leila had imagined.
Perhaps they weren’t little per se, but angular and deerlike with none of the softness or ease.
Their drape and tunic in deep shades of grey were just as minimalist as their study, their fingers adorned in an array of simple silver bands.
What is the purpose of jewelry if not to glitter?
“Your Holiness.” Isa scribbled across a long strip of parchment that poured over their desk onto the floor. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
The coin sagged from Leila’s shoulder, the leather cords cutting into Her flesh. “I haven’t had the proper chance to thank you for your hospitality. You run a fine business. Your courtesans have welcomed us graciously.”
“You haven’t come emptyhanded, I see.”
How they saw anything, Leila hadn’t a clue. They hadn’t looked Her way since She’d arrived. She plopped the three sacks onto the desk with a thud. “For you.”
Isa went still, their gaze drifting up from their scroll. “For what purpose?”
“To cover the cost of twenty chambers for an indeterminate length of time.”
A pointed silence swept between them. If Isa was surprised, they didn’t show it. They didn’t show much of anything. Even the air was empty, free from a hint of color. Damn their composure. Leila could’ve used the insight.
Isa set aside their reed and clasped their hands. “And why would You need that?”
“My royal staff is being held prisoner. They face constant danger under the sovereign’s watchful eye. Some have already been punished by death. I aim to liberate them and provide them hiding and safety.”
“I fail to see what any of this has to do with me.”
“You’ve been a fair host these past few days. The Savior’s line is forever indebted to you.” Leila cocked Her head toward the stuffed sacks standing upright on Isa’s desk. “If you provide refuge for My people, the act will be rightfully rewarded.”
“I don’t care for rewards. I care for my staff.”
“Something we have in common.”
Isa’s gaze was empty, their voice impassive. “Then You understand why my answer is no.”
Leila tensed. She had expected as much, but that didn’t temper Her ire. “Everyone can work for their keep. Cooking, cleaning, mending, patrolling, labor, and record keeping. Some, I’m sure, will be happy to take on the courtesan role. They’re well-read, well-mannered, and highly skilled.”
“And what happens when soldiers break down our doors and find I’ve not only aided and abetted a fugitive but also harbored dissenters? Will their skills be of any use to me then?”
Without a word, Leila dropped the bag of contingency coin onto the table. Isa’s blank gaze panned to the offering. “Your Holiness, I run a very lucrative business. Your coin doesn’t have the appeal You think.”
“Need I remind you, I am your queen. My command is binding.”
“Your command, no matter how holy, comes second to my staff. My family—”
“This is My family. My sisters.” Leila’s voice came out in a hiss. “People who have risked death to ensure I live. To keep Thessen from crumbling beneath the rule of a tyrant.”
The study fell silent, but Leila’s mind, a cacophony of screaming thoughts and Her echoing pulse, was far from it. “The coin may mean nothing to you, but it’s all we have. And I am sacrificing it now to save My family. I know full well you see that. That you’d do the same.”