Chapter 36 Leila #2
“You are tall and of much grace like great snow deer, with hair of night sky and smell of morning forest. I want to touch, to taste your lips, they are like, eh, wet fruit.” Enzo came in closer, lowering his voice to a husky growl.
“I want to lick little spots on your skin, and I want to fuck you hard by heat of fire.” His slate eyes shrank, the intent they carried explicit.
“Hylas of Thessen, I feel you when I sleep.”
Fuchsia eddies cascaded down the corridor like a parade of lust and desire. Enzo gazed back at a stunned Hylas, awaiting a response, then wrinkled his nose. “I should fuck you? Or I should go?”
Hylas grabbed Enzo’s face and kissed him hard, dragging him into the chamber before slamming the door shut behind them. Muffled stumbles and moans sounded, and Leila resolved to end Her eavesdropping, abandoning Her hiding spot and heading to Her own bedchamber.
The tiniest hint of a smile graced Her lips. Those feelings were so familiar to Her. She’d felt them all with Tobias.
Just as swiftly as it had appeared, Her moment of happiness withered away.
The chamber around Her was dark, and She didn’t bother to light a candle.
Leila threw Herself onto Her bed, face buried in the plush pillows.
Pain racked Her insides—for the loss of Her love, Her realm, and soon Her life, according to everyone in the citadel.
The trial was Her last chance to right Her wrongs, and yet it felt far away, an impossible dream forever out of reach.
She’d killed men before, but Kovahrian criminals?
Her own senator, Erebus, had nearly bested Her in Her palace, and She only lived due to Talos’s intervention.
Leila shook Herself. She had to survive.
There was so much at stake. She toyed with the two promises on Her wrist, willing them to lend Her strength, but Her fingertips wobbled as they traced the ribbons’ edges, and a sob tore free from Her lips.
How pitiful, to be crying again in the same bed.
She’d hoped and prayed She’d have no more tears left to shed, but they persisted, an endless river of grief.
A knock sounded at the door, then the hinges creaked, revealing a stream of light and a hesitant face. Yucana stood in the doorway, and Leila couldn’t fight the groan that tore from Her lips. “Oh God, not now.”
“I heard You crying,” Yucana said.
“And you thought you’d stop by and make it worse, is that right? Or have you simply come to watch?” The harsh tone of Leila’s words stung even Her, and She turned away. “Apologies. Just go, please.”
The door closed, but based on the heaviness in the room, Yucana hadn’t left. Her footsteps toward the bed confirmed as much. “You cry every night.”
Leila didn’t respond, cringing into Her pillow. Had Yucana been able to hear Her? She bit Her lip, forcing Her tears at bay.
“May I join You?”
Grumbling, Leila sat upright. “I assume I don’t have much of a choice.”
As Leila wiped Her wet cheeks, Yucana took a seat at Her side, gentle in a way Leila wasn’t accustomed to. A familiar frown graced her lips. “I saw You accept the queen’s challenge today.”
“Everyone saw that.”
“That’s very dangerous, Leila. You may not survive.”
Leila resisted the urge to roll Her eyes. “I’m well aware.”
“What will become of Thessen if You’re gone?
” Yucana scooted closer until they were hip to hip.
“I don’t know if You’ve been informed, but the plague has returned.
Your people are sick. Naomi and I were lucky to have been spared of it, but many weren’t so fortunate.
Your power is needed.” Her words were firm, but her voice was uncharacteristically soft.
“Do You understand? You’re taking a great risk. ”
Do I understand? Leila would’ve scoffed at the question had it not been for Her sorrow.
“It’s My only chance.” She straightened, determined to wrangle what little poise She had left.
“If I accept the challenge and succeed, Prisca will have to listen to Me. I can save Tobias.” Her voice caught. “And Thessen. I can save them all.”
Yucana didn’t respond for a long while, leaving Leila to pick at Her sleeve and wonder what She’d said wrong. The woman was close enough for Leila to read Her colors, but She didn’t bother. She was too consumed with Her own emotions, and She certainly didn’t need the judgment.
“Did Tobias ever tell You about his father?” Yucana finally said.
“Just that he died in the accident that injured Naomi.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
Leila sniffed, still picking at Her sleeve. She wasn’t sure what Tobias’s father had to do with anything, but She had a feeling Yucana was about to tell Her. Yucana smiled, her gaze drifting away as she spoke.
“My husband knew exactly what he wanted from life. He wanted a business, a wife, a daughter, and a son. And he got exactly what he’d asked for, and the latter two he got at once.
” Her smile widened. “Twins. He was so thrilled. He loved them both, but he lay claim to Tobias the moment he laid eyes on him. He saw himself in that child and wanted to mold him into the man he ought to be.”
Brontes floated through Leila’s thoughts, and Her stomach roiled. A man thrilled to be a father. She couldn’t imagine such a thing in Her own life.
“But Tobias wasn’t like his father,” Yucana said.
“Rizon, my husband, he was all sweat and dirt. He was a metalsmith, You see. But Tobias was quiet and thoughtful. He wanted to draw and paint, and his father wanted an apprentice. Naomi was right there, eager from the start, but it had to be his son, for whatever reason. And when Tobias went another way, his world crumbled.”
Yucana’s smile faded, her lips twisting into a slight grimace.
“Eventually he allowed Naomi to take to smithing, but it felt intentional, as if she were a weapon in some unspoken war. But Tobias was content with his art, and he flourished. He was so good. I couldn’t believe it myself, his talent.
He’d found his path, yet his father fumed.
” Sighing, she shook her head. “Their fights . . . they were so ugly. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know what to do.”
The tiniest tuft of blue wafted from the woman’s shoulders. Leila almost reached out to hold her hand but thought better of it.
“Then everything changed,” Yucana continued.
“Tobias secured an apprenticeship with Petros Elia, the finest artist in all the realm. Not even Rizon could fault this. Tobias had followed his passion, and it had been fruitful. And for a time, there was peace in our home. Tobias and Rizon were civil, even friendly. All was well and calm.” Her lips parted, but she sat quietly for slow seconds before speaking. “And then my husband died.”
The air became thick with grief—both Leila’s and Yucana’s, mingling into a despairing soup. For the first time, Leila felt a kinship to the woman—that somehow, they were more alike than She’d ever allowed Herself to believe.
“I know Tobias regrets those years of anger,” Yucana said.
“But it’s a father’s duty to love his children as they are, and he failed.
” A sad frown graced her lips. “Perhaps I failed as well. Maybe I should’ve done more.
But I have peace in knowing they had their friendship.
That for a moment in time, we were a family. ”
Leila shifted in Her seat, not knowing what to say. Before She could ruminate over Her confusion, Yucana took Her hand, and the contact shocked Her.
“Tobias is stubborn. I’m sure You’ve seen this firsthand.
” She nudged Leila’s shoulder. “He knows what he wants from life, and he will seek it out no matter the cost to him. Despite the sacrifice or opposition, he always persists. He moves ahead until he proves everyone wrong—and he always does.” Pride gleamed in her gaze.
“He understands his destiny. I should stop questioning him, to be honest. You’d think I’d know better at this point. ”
Her soft chuckling did little to ease Leila. She sat rigid at Yucana’s side, digesting her touch, her words. Just then, something changed in Yucana’s demeanor—the lightness was gone, replaced with something timid and strained, and when she spoke next, her voice came out slow and intentional.
“What I’m trying to say is, if he believes You’re the woman for him, then I imagine he’s right. He’s made many mistakes, but he’s always been so clear about his future. And if he sees You there, then it must be so.”
Leila didn’t respond. The moment was foreign to Her, another emotion to decipher when She hadn’t the energy. She was a husk of a woman, drained and depleted, flitting between consciousness and somewhere else far away.
Yucana forced out an unconvincing laugh. “He gets his stubbornness from me, You know.”
“Shocking,” Leila muttered.
“I haven’t been fair to You, Leila. I can admit that.”
Leila breathed in slowly, taking in Yucana’s words.
Her whole life, She’d been painted a villain—by Her father, the senators, Her own sister.
They’d reduced Her to Her faults, and though She’d fought against their wounding words, She’d fallen victim to their lies, had seen Herself as the monster they claimed Her to be.
For once, She wasn’t to blame, and to hear it aloud was freeing.
“My mother died before I was even born. I never knew her.” Leila’s voice came out stronger than She’d expected.
“Caliya filled the role beautifully, but even she was gone when I was so young. I’ve always felt cheated in a way—not having a mother.
Then I met you, and I felt such joy. I thought maybe, possibly, I could be like a daughter to you.
That you’d love Me as your own.” Leila looked Yucana hard in the eyes. “But you hate Me.”
“It’s not easy for me to apologize. Know that I only do so when I truly believe I’ve made a terrible mistake.” Yucana placed a hand over their entwined fingers. “I’m so sorry.”