33. Caitlin
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
caitlin
Y-your brother?” I asked, lowering my voice to a hushed whisper.
“This has to be a prank, right? I don’t have any siblings.” Jake’s face had paled as though he’d seen a ghost. Maybe he had. I imagined someone claiming to be your long-lost brother would be like coming face-to-face with an apparition.
“Are you going to respond?” I asked, pressing my lips tightly together, my teeth brushing against the inner flesh.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know. Should I?”
“I can’t decide that for you,” I said softly, keeping my voice as gentle as I could. “I wish I could, I really do.”
“I just don’t know how this is possible.” Disbelief flashed across his features, and I reached across the table to take his hand. He squeezed mine, anchoring himself to me like his life depended on it. “My…” He started wheezing, sucking in air like it was hard to breathe.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” I soothed, reaching over to rub circles on his back. “Take a deep breath with me, yeah?” I inhaled through my nose, counting to five with my fingers.
Jake mimicked the action, then I blew a breath through my mouth.
“A few more,” I encouraged him, breathing with him. “Better?”
“Yeah, sorry,” he gasped. “I don’t know what that was.”
“You just got a potentially life-altering text. It’s a completely understandable response.”
His voice wavered slightly as it lowered. “Do you think they’re telling the truth? I don’t understand why they would lie, but I don’t know what they want. Money?”
My lips pressed together, and I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
His phone screen lit up again.
Unknown Number
I can send proof.
Jake shot off a response, asking what they wanted.
I nodded, unsure of how to support him. This whole thing had me just as speechless.
The three dots appeared then disappeared, then appeared again.
Unknown Number
I’m sorry if this is weird. I didn’t mean to bother you.
I’ve just always wanted a brother. It’s just been me, my mom, and my…well our dad.
“Fuck.” Jake ruffled his hand through his hair. “Frick, I mean. Sorry,” he mumbled with a glance over at Whitley.
“She’s not paying attention, it’s okay,” I whispered.
She’d lost interest a long time ago and was playing with her food, pushing it around and making her leftover chicken nuggets fight.
“You don’t have to answer right now. Take some time to think about it. I’m sure they’ll understand this is a massive bomb they just dropped on you,” I suggested, hoping it would ease some of the tension in the room.
Our food, the meal Jake had worked so hard on, sat untouched on our plates.
“Do you want me to reheat your food for you?” I asked, pushing my chair back from the table to stand.
He swallowed. “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore.”
“Okay. I’ll put it in a plastic container for you. Where is your Tupperware?” I reached for his plate, but stopped when I noticed the glassiness of his eyes. “Hey, hey, hey.” I wrapped my arms around him. “It’s okay.”
A stray tear fell down his cheek, and I caught it with the pad of my thumb.
“If this is true…” He breathed out the words, barely audible. “My whole life has been a lie.”
I shook my head. “No. If this is true, it just means you get to choose your path. And maybe that means repaving it a little, but it doesn’t change who you are, Jake. It doesn’t change that you’re one of the most thoughtful, kind people I know.”
His eyes glazed over, a blankness replacing their normal brightness.
“Everything will be okay,” I promised, even if it wasn’t within my rights to promise something like that.
A few days had passed since Jake had received the texts from the person claiming to be his brother. We didn’t really talk about the subject, but there was an air of uncertainty that seemed to float around him.
I was still working on my bucket list, namely finding a hobby I wanted to stick with.
I’d tried cycling, crochet, pottery, and wine tasting, I guess, if you counted all the times Bec and I had gone out.
I wasn’t sure if painting Whitley’s room counted as painting for a hobby.
I liked that, but I wasn’t sure if it was the act of painting or more because of Jake.
I knew I was good at baking, but it was supposed to be trying new hobbies. Besides, when I baked, I normally baked for everyone else. However, I did try making a sourdough starter once and quickly scrapped it.
“What hobby do you think I should try next, bug?” I asked Whitley, who was scribbling in her coloring book. Cheeto lay in her lap, his purrs filling the room.
She looked up at me with a blank expression, shrugged, then went back to her book.
“Thanks for the suggestion.”
I need a new hobby to try
Jake
Hmm…
What about horseback riding?
I don’t have a horse, silly.
Jake
I know at least five people who do, though.
Come on, I’ll take you out this afternoon. It’ll be fun.
Ellison might even be able to get Whit on a horse.
I don’t know about that.
Jake
Come on, Cait. I promise I’ll keep you safe.
I worried my bottom lip. Before I could type out a response, a soft knock sounded at the door.
“Come in!” I called out, already knowing it was Jake.
Heavy footsteps approached. “Ready for that ride?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “Not sure if I’m ready to get on a horse again.”
“I can offer you a different kind, if you’d like.” He winked, one corner of his lips curling up in a smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing, all sultry and teasing.
I rolled my eyes. “Daughter.” I pointed to her. “Right here.”
“And she’s just the cutest, sweetest thing.” He squatted down next to Whitley. “What are you working on, bug?”
She held up her book. “It’s Cheeto!
Her coloring book page had an astronaut in space with a cat and a planet behind them. The cat was colored in orange, and a rainbow of scribbles covered the rest of the page. She’d only colored in the lines for the cat. Everything else seemed to be the Wild West.
“Wow. Picasso, I like it,” Jake said. “You’re quite the artist, bug.”
“She takes after us, apparently.” I laughed, referencing our paint day.
“You think?” Jake winked at me before looking back at Whitley. “Your mom and I are going to go ride horses today. Do you want to come? Auntie Ellison can teach you.”
“Horses?” Whitley whipped her head around, eyes widening and brimming with excitement. “Can I bring Cheeto?”
Jake laughed. “Sorry, bug. Cheeto’s gotta stay, but I think they’ve got some barn cats you might be able to play with at the ranch.”
“You can’t bring any of them home, though,” I added quickly. The last thing we needed was another kitten running around.
Whitley frowned, her nose scrunching. “I don’t want to go, then.”
I huffed out a laugh through my nose. “You can’t ride a horse with a cat anyway, bug.”
“I think you’re really going to like the horses,” Jake encouraged her, and she began to soften.
“Okay, fine.”
Thirty minutes later, Whitley was on the back of Ellison’s horse, Lucille, and Ellison was leading her around. Her giggles pierced through the air, the smile on her face wider than I’d ever seen it.
“Told you she’d love riding.” Jake nudged me with his elbow.
“You’re right,” I admitted with a slight shake of my head.
“I always am,” he teased.
“That might be going a bit too far.”
He put his hand out palm up, and I took it. “We’ll see about that. If you don’t actually like horseback riding, I will admit defeat. But I think you’re going to love it, too.”
Jake led me over to the barn where Bullet and Trigger were. I sat on top of an empty stall while he saddled up our horses, just observing. His muscles flexed as he tightened the straps, and his jeans hugged his ass in just the right way.
He caught me looking, and a grin tugged at his lips. “Like what you see?”
I hopped down just as he opened Bullet’s stall. “Maybe a little bit.”
After handing me the reins, he took Trigger, and we walked the horses outside. I’d been around horses most of my life, but my memory of riding was a bit foggy after being away for the last decade.
“Need help?” Jake offered me a hand, but I waved him off.
“I grew up on a ranch, I should know how to mount a horse,” I retorted. I’d admit, it was a little shaky getting up, but soon I was sitting tall in the saddle and Jake and I were riding side by side.
We rode past the gate closing off the grazing land from the house and headed toward the hills.
I inhaled a deep breath, getting a whiff of the cool breeze and the earthy scent of sagebrush. “I missed this place,” I murmured.
“I think this place missed you, too,” Jake replied, looking over at me with softness in his gaze.
“For so long, I thought I was fine where I was,” I explained, looking out at the horizon. “But every time I came back home to visit, something inside me felt different. It was like my heart knew Whitley and I belong out here.”
“Sometimes our gut instinct just knows best.”
I nodded.
Jake cleared his throat after we’d ridden in silence for a few minutes.
“Maybe it’s because today has been really fun and the scenery is getting to me, but I wanted to ask you something.
This might be too soon, and I know we aren’t officially together but…
” He looked over at me from his horse. His hands wrung together, and a bead of sweat dripped down his temple. “I need to go with my gut.”
Raising my brows, I teased, “Should I be afraid of what you’re going to say? You’re not kicking us out of the guest house, are you?”
“No! Not at all.” He stumbled over his words.
“Well, technically no. Because it’s up to you if you want to do this or not.
” Jake let out a sharp exhale, gathering his composure.
“Basically, I was wondering if you and Whitley wanted to move out of the guest house and into the main house. I was just thinking we spend so much time together and you’re either at my place or I’m over at yours more often than not.
The main house is bigger, has more space for Whitley to grow, and maybe, I don’t know.
If it’s too soon, you can tell me no and I won’t be offended.
” He kept rambling, not giving me the change to interject.
An awkward laugh tumbled out of me. “I’d have to see what Whitley thinks, but she loves y—she likes spending time with you as much as I do,” I corrected midsentence.
“You also don’t have to right away,” he added. “But I obviously like having you around.”
I reached my arm out toward him, our horses adjusting so we were closer together and able to link hands. “I like being around you, too.”