35. Caitlin
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
caitlin
Mottled light covered the bedroom as the morning rays of the sun peeked through the curtains. An incessant buzzing pulled me out of my slumber, and a heavy weight settled over my body.
Blinking my eyes to adjust to the brightness in the room, I slipped out from under Jake’s arm to reach for my phone.
*Ten Missed Calls*
“Holy shit,” I muttered as I unlocked my phone, navigating to my call log. My mom, Colter, and Ellison had all called me several times.
Ellison
Call your mom right now! It’s urgent!
Mom
Please call me as soon as you get this.
Adam is here.
Those three words were all I needed to propel myself out of bed, frantically searching for my clothes when I remembered they were out in the living room after our game of spicy Uno.
I quickly grabbed them then came back into the bedroom to get dressed and gather the rest of my belongings, like this was just a one-night stand and I was about to make the walk of shame.
Jake groaned, squinting in the morning light. “Cait? What’s going on?”
“Adam is apparently here,” I muttered. “My mom has Whitley, and I guess he’s at her house? I don’t know what’s going on, but my mom, Colter, and Ellison all called and texted me.”
A new fear rose inside my chest, one I was scared to admit out loud.
What if he was trying to take her back to Washington as some sort of sick punishment?
A way to keep me under his thumb even after our relationship ended.
He didn’t care about having custody of her when the divorce was finalized, but Adam was unpredictable and at the end of the day, Whitley was still his daughter.
Jake rolled out of bed at lightning speed, tugging on a pair of sweatpants. “I’m coming with you.”
“No.” I lifted a hand. “That’ll only make it worse, Jake. You know it will.”
“Fuck.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Cait, you can’t go talk to him alone. He’s looking for a fight. You know he is. He’s trying to scare you by showing up here.”
“That might be true, but what else am I supposed to do? What if he’s here to take…” Unable to finish my sentence for fear of speaking the worst-case scenario out loud, I closed my eyes, inhaling a long breath.
“I know you don’t want me to go with you, but—”
“I need to do this alone. Please don’t fight me on this.”
His jaw ticked like he wanted to protest.
“Jake. I mean it. Don’t follow me.”
Neither of us said a word, engaged in a standoff of sorts.
He eventually gave in with a nod. “Call me if you need me. Okay? Please.”
“I will,” I promised.
When I pulled up to the house, Adam was standing outside, as though he had been waiting for me. My mom and Whitley were nowhere to be found, Mom’s car absent from the driveway.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I yelled the moment I stepped out of the car.
He spun around. “I was passing through Miles City on the way to a business trip. Stopped to get a coffee and heard some rumors floating around that you might be living here again.” He wrinkled his nose.
“Not sure why you’d ever want to live in a place like this, but you were always different from me, Caity. ”
“Where’s Whitley?”
He crossed his arms. “I could ask you the same thing. What were you doing that you had to leave our daughter at someone else’s house, huh?”
My face twisted in annoyance. “My mom’s—her grandmother’s house. Not some random stranger, Adam. Where are they?”
He avoided my question again, reaching out to grab a strand of my hair. “Your hair’s different. I like you better with long hair, you know.”
I smacked his hand away. “I cut it. Now answer my question. Where are they?”
He rolled his eyes. “They went to the library. Figured it was best they weren’t here when you arrived. Maggie told me she’s been over here a lot.”
The tension eased out of my shoulders. I’d have to thank my mother later, because he was right about one thing. Whitley didn’t need to see her parents fighting over her.
“She’s allowed to spend time with her granddaughter. Since, you know, she hardly got to see her during her first three years of life.”
Stay calm. He just wants a reaction out of you.
With a pitying look, he shook his head, a loaded firearm ready to strike its target. “Are you sure you’re fit to take care of her?”
Bullseye.
My teeth ground together as red-hot anger seared my skin and a tsunami wave of emotion wracked my entire body. How dare he question my parenting when he was never around? “What are you trying to say? I’m her mother. Of course, I’m fit to take care of her!”
“Oh, calm down, Caity. No need to get so emotional. I’m just asking you a fucking question because I’m concerned about our daughter.”
“Where was this concern for the past three years? Hell, the last four?” I threw my arms up in disbelief.
“Word around town is also that you’ve been fucking one of those rodeo cowboys and that’s why you’re never home with our daughter.”
So, that’s what this is about.
“Who I spend my time with is none of your concern.”
“Ah, so it is true, then. And yes, Caitlin, it is my concern. You’re…” He paused, as though trying to find a word that would cut the deepest. “You’re neglecting our daughter for some redneck who will probably drop you in a month.”
“You don’t know him,” I muttered.
Adam forced out a laugh, full of spite, not at all warm like the man I thought I’d been in love with at one point.
And I did—think I was in love with him. For years, I questioned whether he really ever loved me.
The me from a few months ago would have convinced myself he was doing this because he truly cared about Whit, but the me now understood that he was only doing this to have some semblance of control.
Adam never loved me.
He just loved the idea of me. And maybe more so the idea that he could control me, manipulate me to his will.
As much as I wanted the notion to sink in, to believe his subtle threats were a bluff, Adam was reckless, much more than I ever was. He was willing to do whatever it took to get what he wanted, and if his mind was set on taking Whitley away, I was convinced he would try.
“I know enough.” His sneer broke me out of my thoughts. “You know I looked him up all those years ago, right? After we got married. Did you know his dad went to prison? Drug dealing, Caitlin.”
Before I could respond, the rumble of an engine in the distance caught my attention. Soon, Jake’s pickup appeared, speeding up the driveway.
“Speak of the devil. I can’t wait to meet the guy who’s been fucking my wife.”
“Ex-wife,” I snapped.
“Hardly.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s been, what? Three months since the divorce was finalized? You sure moved on quick, Caity. I should have known you were always going to act like a whore.”
“What the fuck did you just call her?” Jake spat from somewhere behind me.
“I said, she’s acting like a no good, fucking who—” Adam didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before Jake’s fist collided with his mouth.
“Jake!” My hand grasped his bicep, and I pulled him back before he could hit him again. “Don’t. He’s not worth it,” I pleaded, tears already stinging the back of my eyes.
Adam spat blood onto the ground, but the smile on his face was devious. Satisfied. Smug. “You’re going to regret doing that. You don’t think I know who you are? You’ve just been biding your time, haven’t you? I hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds.”
Smoke practically billowed out of Jake’s ears, but my hand gripped him tighter.
“Please. Don’t.” Turning my attention to Adam, I snapped, “You need to leave.”
He laughed to himself, turning over his shoulder before getting to his car. “We’re not done having this conversation, Caity. He’s clearly unhinged, and I don’t believe Whitley is safe with him around.”
“I’m not talking to you about this today. You need to go now.”
Adam pointed at his face then to Jake. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer, you hick.”
Jake crossed his arms, stepping in front of me as though shielding me from my ex-husband. “I look forward to it.”
Dust careened into the air as Adam drove off, leaving the two of us standing in the driveway. Jake’s knuckles were cracked and bloody, and I took a step back from him.
“What the hell were you thinking?” I cried, the adrenaline from the entire encounter finally beginning to wear off. I fought the urge to shove him for being so reckless. “I told you not to come here!”
He scrubbed his uninjured hand through his hair, a guilty expression plastered on his face. “I’m sorry, Cait. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I told you to let me handle it.” Hot tears streaked down my cheeks, and my voice softened to barely a whisper. “Now he has a reason to try to take Whit if he wants to.”
Jake’s face paled, as though he finally realized the weight of the situation. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. When he called you that, I-I just snapped. I wasn’t thinking.”
I shook my head, unable to meet his gaze. “Maybe this is a bad idea.”
“W-what’s a bad idea?”
“This. Us. Whatever is going on right now.”
Jake took a step toward me, his hands resting on the outside of my arms. “Cait.”
“Maybe a relationship between us isn’t the best thing right now. You heard what he said. What if he tries to use this against me and file for a change of custody?” My voice broke, cracking. “I-I can’t lose Whit.”
“I know. You’re a good mother.” He pressed his forehead to mine, our breaths mingling in the sliver of space between us.
“Baby, I understand how it looks right now. I’m so sorry for reacting the way I did.
I was reckless and emotional, but I need you to understand that I would never hurt you or Whitley. ”
“I know,” I whispered, a hollow, heart-shaped ache forming in the center of my chest. “I know you wouldn’t.”
“I understand if this is too much, and I know it’s selfish to ask, but I’m begging, Cait. Fight for this. Fight for us.” A tear beading in the corner of his eye fell, rolling down the side of his nose to the light dusting of hair above his lip.
I reached out to wipe it away, but my thumb and his face blurred as I choked up. “I-I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide right now, but I’ll do whatever it takes to prove this is worth it. Choosing to be happy despite being afraid counts as saying no, too.”
I understood what he was saying, but at the same time, I didn’t. “I can’t sacrifice Whitley for my own happiness.”
“I know. I would never ask you to.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Just think about it. You know where to find me, okay? Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be here.” He reached for my hand, squeezing it a couple times.
I nodded, a river of tears continuing to flow down my cheeks.
“I’ll be here, okay?” he promised one more time before hopping in his truck.
And then he was gone, backing out of the drive until a hazy cloud of dust was all that remained.