37. Caitlin
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
caitlin
I’m so sorry,” he whispered into my hair. “I fucked up this morning. The last thing I ever want to do is put your relationship with Whitley at risk.”
I peered at him through wet lashes, my hand reaching up to wipe what I wasn’t sure was a rolling bead of water or a tear from under his eye. “I know. I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“Don’t. Please,” he pleaded, eyes misty. “Don’t ever apologize for protecting her. You’re a good mom, Cait.”
“I’m doing the best I can,” I murmured.
“And it’s fucking incredible. You’re fucking incredible.”
The rain had permeated my clothing and tendrils of hair clung to my face, but I didn’t move to brush the strands out of the way.
Jake cradled my face in his hands and gave me one more gentle kiss before picking up the lantern in one hand and taking my hand in the other. “Let’s get you inside so you don’t catch a cold, yeah?”
I nodded, grabbing the flashlight off the ground and letting him pull me back to the safety of the house.
I hung up my drenched rain jacket, putting a towel underneath it to catch the droplets of water. My T-shirt underneath was saturated with water, and my socks squished in the soles of my shoes.
“I can throw your clothes in the dryer once the power comes back on,” I offered, although if Jake’s clothes were anything like mine, he was soaked down to the bone.
“If you want to go into the bathroom, I’ll see if I have anything you can wear.
You can take a shower, too, if you want.
I’ve never really believed in the whole ‘don’t take a shower in a thunderstorm’ thing.
Just leave your clothes outside the door and I’ll take care of them. ”
He nodded then raced to the bathroom with the lantern, careful not to leave too much of a trail behind him.
I retreated to my room to change into dry clothes and wring out my hair before taking a brush to the strands to get any tangles out.
Once I was done, I flicked on the flashlight and rummaged through my closet and drawers, trying to find clothes for Jake.
I didn’t want him to feel like he had to stay in the bathroom until the power came on and I was able to throw his clothes in the dryer, but the last thing I wanted was for Whitley to wake up and come out of her room to find me, only to see a naked man in the living room.
Unfortunately, I didn’t even have anything oversize or even any of Adam’s clothes that might have randomly wound up in my belongings to offer him. Though, I was sure he wouldn’t want those to begin with. They probably wouldn’t fit, either. Jake was taller and more muscular than Adam.
I tapped on the bathroom door when I passed by. “I couldn’t find any clothes that would fit you. Unless you want a bathrobe,” I added with a laugh.
“All good,” he called back through the door. “I’ll just hang out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Cait. It’s all good.”
I walked out to the living room to see if the storm was starting to subside, but it looked like it was going to be a while.
Sitting cross legged outside the bathroom, I tapped the door again. “It’s me.”
Jake laughed, the sound rich and warm. “Well, I would hope so.”
“Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah, Cait. I’m good.” Something—likely his body weight—thudded against the bathroom door.
I turned, so my back was against the door, and brought my knees up to my chest.
“Are you doing okay?” he parroted.
Releasing my held breath, I lifted my chin to inspect the popcorn ceiling.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I thought I was fine, but then Adam showed up…” Voice trailing off, I scratched the back of my neck.
“I just don’t know anymore. I feel like this whole thing with him has called my entire existence into question.
I want to be a good enough mom for Whitley and everyone tells me I am, but what if they’re wrong?
What if Adam’s right and I’m not fit for this?
What if I’m never going to be enough for her?
” A tear rolled down my cheek, and I bit my lip, trying to feel pain somewhere else. Give myself something else to focus on.
The door opened, and I caught myself, planting my hands firmly on the floor before I fell backward.
A solid, warm chest pressed into my back, and Jake’s arms wrapped around me.
He had his towel wrapped around his waist, and little droplets of water fell from the ends of his hair, dripping onto my shoulder.
“Cait baby. Darlin’,” he murmured. “You’re enough. You’re more than enough. I don’t care how long it takes for you to believe it. I’m going to prove it to you.” His lips pressed against my shoulder, the kisses stitching up the wounds I didn’t know I had.
The power came on shortly after, so I took Jake’s wet clothes and threw them on a quick drying cycle.
Once that was done and we were both fully clothed again, we sat next to each other on the couch with two mugs of hot chocolate.
Mine had a huge pile of whipped cream on top and a candy cane, and Jake’s had remnants of the whipped cream he’d immediately inhaled.
A small bit of it was stuck in his mustache, and I reached out with my thumb to wipe it away. “You look like one of those Got Milk? advertisements from when we were in elementary school.” I giggled.
“Man, those were the days.” He chuckled.
A light pitter-patter from the hallway caught my attention, and my gaze swung to Whitley coming out of her room, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles.
“What are you doing awake, bug?” I asked, brows pinching in concern.
“I can’t go to sleep.” Whitley climbed into my lap, clinging to me like superglue. “There’s monsters.”
Jake tapped his lips. “Well, what if the monsters can’t get to you?”
“How can they not get to me?” Though she was still cowering, her brows shot up.
“Monsters can’t get inside a fortress, right?” He stood, setting his mug on the coffee table.
She shook her head.
“Then we’ll just have to build you one. Come on, I’ll show you.” He reached out for her, and she got off my lap to lunge for his hand, clutching it tight.
Warmth spread in my chest as I followed them to my daughter’s bedroom.
“How do we build a fortress?” she asked.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back. Protect Mama, okay?” Shooting me a wink, he ducked out of her bedroom. A few minutes later, he came back with every blanket and pillow in the house.
Whitley cocked her head. “Pillows and blankets?”
Jake nodded. “We’re going to build a castle around your bed that will protect you from the monsters. Watch.”
Tears pricked at my eyes as Jake and Whitley began to build her pillow fort, hanging the blankets above her bed like a canopy and stacking the pillow wall to guard her safely.
I helped tuck the corner of blankets into the mattress and her headboard, securing them so they wouldn’t collapse in the middle of the night.
“It’s dark.” Whitley whimpered once the pillow fort was complete. “I don’t like the dark.”
“That’s what I have this for, bug.” Jake pulled a flashlight out from behind his back. “This is your light tower, okay? It’ll keep you safe from the monsters.” He tucked it between her pillows, and the makeshift castle lit up inside. “One more thing. I’ll be right back.”
He planted a kiss on my lips then headed out again. It wasn’t until I heard the front door shut that my brows furrowed in confusion.
“Where is he going?” Whitley asked.
“Good question, bug. I have no idea.”
Ten minutes later, he came back, his T-shirt darkened from the rain still pouring outside. He carried something in his hand, but I couldn’t quite tell what it was.
“Close your eyes, girls,” he instructed.
Whitley giggled as she covered her face with her hands, spreading her fingers so there were gaps that she could see out of.
“No cheating. I see you, Whitley Rose.” He tutted. “You too, Cait.”
Shaking my head, I obliged. The springs under the mattress squeaked, and Jake grunted once or twice before the thud of his feet hitting the floor filled the room.
“You can look now.”
When I opened my eyes, tiny glow-in-the-dark stars covered the area above her bed. I wasn’t sure where he got them or why he had them, but my eyes welled with emotion.
“Now, if the power goes out again and we can’t find a flashlight, you’ll still be able to see in the dark. And the monsters won’t come out anymore,” he explained, pointing out the stars to Whit.
She squealed, reaching her hand out to point at them.
A single, hot tear rolled down my cheek at the sight.
Jake may not have been her dad, but he was doing more for Whitley than Adam ever did. And that gesture, as small as it may have been, meant the world to me.