40. Jake
CHAPTER FORTY
jake
Weather in Montana could be unpredictable, especially in the fall, but November always seemed to bring a chill to the wind. With the winter months approaching, we were spending a lot more time inside.
I knew Caitlin didn’t want to confuse Whitley, or get her hopes up about us, but a small part of me thought she knew her mom and I had something special.
Just the other day, she attempted to wink at me when we were all watching Bluey on the couch.
The girl had a lot of personality, and I liked to think a little piece of my humor had rubbed off on her.
We’d dropped Whitley and Cheeto off at Maggie’s house for a sleepover after a long day of baking cookies.
The kitten we found a couple months ago was already getting so big, having grown from being able to fit in my hand to having to cradle him in my arms. The cat and I got along just fine, but he loved Whitley and followed her around like a puppy.
She insisted on letting him come with her to Grandma’s house, and even though Caitlin was hesitant, Maggie let her bring him over.
That little girl had everyone wrapped around her finger.
“My brother texted me,” I said as Caitlin and I washed dishes side by side.
“Nolan?” she replied, urging me to continue.
“Yeah, he wants to meet me in person. His dad”—I cleared my throat—“our dad and he are driving through town in a couple days.”
Her brows raised, and her lips parted slightly. “Is that something you want to do?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted. I was still coming to terms with the fact I had a half-brother and the man back in my small hometown wasn’t my biological father. “Part of me wants to know for closure, I guess. But on the other hand, I’m scared it’ll be painful.”
Cait reached for my hand, and her fingers snaked between mine. “I’ll support you in whatever you decide to do.”
“What about you?” I asked. When her expression morphed into confusion, I added, “How have you been feeling since”—I cleared my throat, not wanting to say his name but forcing it out anyway—“Adam showed up?”
She worried at her bottom lip, then her eyes bounced up to mine.
“You know, it’s odd. I’ll forget about it one minute because I’m having such a good day with you or with Whitley, and then something in my brain will fire off and remind me if I mess up, it could cost me everything.
If I make one mistake or one person tells me I’m not fit to be her mom or I’m not good enough, then I could lose her. ”
My brows pulled together. “I’m sorry I brought it up, I didn’t want to cause you to worry or doubt yourself.”
Caitlin shook her head. “It’s not you. I’m trying to be better about it.
There’s just this nagging feeling in my chest that constantly pokes and prods at me.
A better mom wouldn’t let Whitley eat chicken nuggets all the time, it says.
Adam’s sister would never let her have so much chocolate.
You should do this, you should do that. It’s exhausting. ”
A single tear escaped from the corner of her eye, rolling down the apple of her cheek. With my thumb, I reached out to wipe it away. Then I cupped her chin with the same hand, lifting it.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re an incredible mom. And it’s not just me who thinks that. All of our friends think you’re amazing. Ellison really looks up to you, too. You’ve raised an amazing little girl all on your own. That speaks for itself, Cait baby.”
“I just—” she started to say, but I cut her off, sealing my lips against hers.
Her eyes fluttered shut, opening slightly when we finally broke the kiss.
“What was that for?”
“If kissing you is what it takes to stop you from saying mean things about yourself, then that’s what I’ll do.
I’ll prove to you how amazing I think you are.
I’ll remind you every day if that’s what it takes to get you to believe it.
I’ll remind you on the days you don’t feel enough, and even when you’re sick of hearing it, when you finally see the woman I see, I’ll continue to remind you.
Because you deserve to hear it. Every day. Let me show you, Cait.”
She tried to step away, but I held her in my arms. “What about your brother? Don’t you need to respond to him?”
“I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”
“But what about—”
Kneeling in front of her, I rested my hands against her waist, interrupting her sentence.
“Jake,” she gasped.
“Shh…” I whispered. “Let me remind you how good you are for me.” Breaths heady, I lifted the hem of her shirt, exposing her stomach before pressing my lips to the scar on her abdomen—the one just below her belly button.
“How much I love your body. The one that grew a tiny human and came out stronger despite the odds. How enough you are for me.”
“Jake.”
“Let me show you how good I am for you.”
Her fingers slid through my hair, tangling themselves in the strands as I continued kissing her stomach, my own hands making their way to the waistband of her jeans.
“Tell me to stop.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Then tell me what you want me to do,” I pleaded, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper, but not undoing them all the way quite yet.
“Touch me. Please.”
The words were hardly out of her mouth before the button on her jeans was undone and I pulled the zipper down. Hooking my fingers in her waistband, I tugged the denim down her thighs, revealing soft, peachy skin and lacy underwear.
Stealing a glance up at her, I ran my teeth over my bottom lip then took off her panties, exposing her to me, already glistening and wet.
Caitlin sucked in a breath, but when I didn’t move, she let out a soft whine. “Why aren’t you doing any—”
Before she could finish, my mouth latched onto her clit, tongue darting out to lap at her center. I lifted one of her legs, hooking it over my shoulder for easier access, and she stumbled back slightly, her back moving flush against the kitchen counter.
Once I was sure she wouldn’t lose balance or collapse, I slipped a finger inside her, moving it in tandem with my mouth as I licked, sucked, and feasted on her pussy like it was my last meal.
“J-Jake,” she moaned as my gaze flicked up to her face, her eyes closed and mouth gaped open.
Her pleasure only spurred me on, and I lifted her so she was sitting on the edge of the counter.
Wrapping both of her legs around my head, I lowered myself back down, though my mouth only hovered over her skin.
One of my hands massaged her breast, while the other played with her clit, my thumb rubbing slow circles on the sensitive flesh.
Caitlin gasped when I slid two fingers inside, burying them as far as they could go.
“You’re soaked, Cait baby,” I said, voice so raspy it caught in my throat. “How many times do you think I can make you come tonight?”
“I hope at least three,” she teased, the end of her sentence pitching up when I hit her G-spot with my fingers.
“We’ll make it four, then,” I promised before my mouth found her center, tongue licking a broad stroke up her slit.
My hands gripped her thighs as I sucked on her clit, fingers pumping in and out until I coaxed an orgasm out of her.
“That’s one.” I grinned, wiping my mouth as I stood, rising to eye level with her.