45. Caitlin
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
caitlin
I’m gonna miss this little cottage,” I murmured as we stood on the front lawn, admiring the guest house. The sun was setting behind the trees, casting an orange glow on the porch where Jake and I had spent so many nights just hanging out and talking about nothing.
Whitley was lying in the grass with Cheeto, playing with a string toy she’d picked out from the store. Happy giggles pierced through the air as the cat leaped in the air, trying to get the neon-green mouse attached to the rope.
“Are you sure you want to move in with me? We can continue what we’re doing and stay neighbors who sneak over to each other’s houses in the middle of the night,” he teased.
“As much fun as that would be, I think this needs to happen. If not for us, then for Whitley’s sake.
She knows there’s something between us. Hell, I’m pretty sure she’s known for a while.
She called you my special friend last month.
But I think we owe it to ourselves and to her to actually give this a real shot.
Explain to her what’s going on. If you’re willing. ”
“Of course.” He reassured me. “Anything for my favorite girls.”
I stepped toward him and wrapped my arms around his middle, pressing my cheek against his chest. He pulled me into his embrace, brushing his lips against my forehead.
“Should we tell her now?” I asked, second-guessing myself even though this was what I wanted and I was sure Whitley wouldn’t be opposed, especially when Jake snuck her pieces of chocolate when they thought I wasn’t looking.
He spoiled my daughter, but he also treated her the way a father should have, even if he wasn’t her biological dad.
But if I had learned anything from coming back home to Silver Creek, it was that family wasn’t always blood. Sometimes you got to choose your family.
“I’ll follow your lead,” he whispered. “Whatever you think is best for the two of you. And if you change your mind and don’t want to move in, you’re allowed to say that, too.”
I shook my head. “No, I want this. Does that count as the last item on the bucket list?” I smiled, knowing the last thing I had to cross off was saying no to something I didn’t want to do.
Although, I could argue that standing up to Adam was saying no.
I was saying no to his bullshit, to the fear tactics he was using.
“I don’t see why not.” He winked.
“Whit! Come on inside with Cheeto!” I turned around to face Whitley as the words left my mouth.
She looked over at me standing shoulder to shoulder with Jake, and a big smile spread across her face. Jumping up, she scooped up the cat and ran to the porch.
Jake opened the front door, and we all headed inside.
“We have something we want to talk to you about, bug.” I patted the couch cushion, inviting her to sit.
She bounded over and plopped down. “What?”
I took a deep breath. “So, you know Jake and I have been friends for a long time, right?”
“Um, yeah, Mommy. He’s your special friend, remember?” She rolled her eyes as if this wasn’t new information. “And I know he sleeps in your room.”
Looking at Jake, I sighed. “We’re gonna have to have a talk with Ellison and Juniper. They started this back at the rodeo in Goldfinch.”
“Have we been that obvious the whole time?” He laughed softly.
“Are you okay with living in the big house now?” I asked. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but over the last few months, I’ve really liked spending time with him as more than just friends and we’ve decided to date.”
Jake added, “I know I won’t be able to replace your dad, but—”
“What do you mean?” Whitley wrinkled her nose, cutting him off. “I like you as my dad.”
His eyes widened, mouth opening and closing like he wasn’t sure what to say.
“You’re Mommy’s special friend and you make me chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. Ooh, and you give me chocolate!” She giggled. “I like you.”
“I like you too, bug.” He ruffled the hair on her head.
“Can I go now?” Whit asked, looking up at me with big eyes.
“Yeah, of course.” I blinked away the tears forming.
“Mommy, don’t cry. He can make it better, right?” She looked at Jake.
Jake’s lip trembled, but he nodded. “Yeah, I’ll make it better. I’ll always make it better, I promise.”
“Good.” She nodded then ran back into her room, slamming the door as per usual.
I snorted, unable to stop myself, but when I glanced over at Jake, his shoulders were shaking in silent laughter.
“We’ll work on the slamming doors thing,” we said at the same time, which only made the laughter audible this time, a joyful, bubbling sound.
Jake scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and tugging me close. I cozied up next to him, basking in his warmth and the safety he provided.
Angling my head up toward his, I gazed into his blue eyes. My anchor.
Nearly five months had passed since I moved into the guest house, lost and unsure of who I was. Jake had helped me find my way back to the me I wanted to be, had helped me drive away the lies I told myself that I wasn’t good enough, the ones that had been drilled in my head for over a decade.
He loved me for who I was, and even though I was sure I would have gotten there one way or another, in turn, I learned to love myself again, too.
I was a better version of myself, not only for me, but for my daughter. And I smiled, knowing I would never lose myself again.
“I love you, Jake Flynn,” I whispered against his lips.
“I love you, too, Caitlin Carson.”