15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
After they made their way back through the city streets, and walked the road that led to Trianon, and begged those on the night watch to open the door for them as all students had to do to get home after a night out, the group split apart, and instead of walking with Cambray to their shared room, Rafi stayed with Viau.
He didn’t ask, but Viau didn’t seem to expect him to.
The cool air and the walk had allowed most of them to sober up, so Rafi was grateful he’d never taken off his coat, though it would stink of pub in the morning.
Viau must have ridden into the capital, meaning his horse was likely stabled at the palace, but he had set off at Rafi’s side without speaking of it.
He might return to the palace for his mount tomorrow, although not early, not if he still meant to spar with Rafi after dawn.
The hour was late enough that the idea of rising early to fight held no interest for Rafi, but he didn’t want to break the silence to mention it.
The two of them went to clean up, as if Viau was even more conscious of the city smells around them than Rafi was.
While in the shared bathing room for his hall, he insisted Rafi have water too, whispering the order for Rafi to drink his fill before ushering Rafi out with an arm at Rafi’s back, as if worried Rafi might reconsider.
Rafi was tired from the walk, the time spent among strangers, and also all the wine, but his thoughts were not quiet, and anyway, he didn’t want to reconsider.
So he allowed himself to be led to Viau’s dark bedroom, cool from the windows left open, and stood by the bed while Viau started to undress in the moonlight.
“Did you enjoy Bellai’s play? You’ve seen it twice now.” Rafi didn’t know why he asked, but Bellai was in his thoughts—Bellai’s words were in his thoughts.
“Rafi.” Viau stopped, halfway out of his pants.
He had not spoken much on the walk back either but his voice was slightly hoarse.
“That is what you wish to talk about? And, I don’t know.
Twice now, I have been nearby while the play was performed, and both times, my attention was demanded elsewhere. ”
“So you wish to see it performed, but in the audience like anyone else.” Rafi nodded slowly.
“We can go. We should go. I have some money left.” He quickly patted the inside of his coat to check that the coin he’d taken with him tonight was still there, minus the tiny amount he’d spent on some wine. His friends had been generous.
“Rafi,” Viau said again, “you nearly challenged someone and you’re thinking about plays?”
“I’m thinking about acting,” Rafi corrected him, somewhat dizzy but hardly drunk. “Among the crowd and in the dark with your eyes on the stage, you might be anyone.”
Viau stared without speaking for several moments, the moonlight not enough to show his expression if he wore one. “Bellai,” he declared at last. “Bellai taught you poetry where I failed.”
Rafi plopped down on the edge of the bed, intending to deal with his boots, but then merely sitting. “I don’t want Bellai. But I like him. He seems a good friend. Is the king like that with you as well? Oh, no, don’t tell me about the king. That’s too much.”
“As though a swersoldi of your caliber isn’t going to meet him eventually.” Viau tutted. “You had a good time? You and your friends on your night out. How did they convince you to go?”
Rafi made a face at that assumption, though it wasn’t a bad one. “I asked them. It’s… it was my nameday yesterday.” Or the day before that, if the hour was as late as Rafi thought it was.
The mattress dipped as Viau climbed onto the bed and crawled to him. “What? You didn’t tell me. I didn’t even get to buy you a cup to toast your years.”
When Rafi leaned back, Viau’s arms came around him, and that was better than wine. Or at least as good, Katoh might say with a wink.
Viau still smelled like the inside of a pub but also like soap. “Well,” he began playfully, “is there something I can give you for your nameday? Something on your mind?”
“I don’t need anything.” Rafi let himself be held while he unbuttoned his coat.
“I forgot about it too. Then I remembered because… because my family forgot, and I nearly lost control again when I thought about that. But I stopped myself.” He twisted around to peer at Viau’s face and read as much as he could in the low light.
“You reached for me. Earlier. That was you, not me.”
A small sound escaped Viau but then nothing else for several moments, until he said, “Yes, I did. You noticed?”
“It felt good.” Rafi was a tiny bit embarrassed to say so, but said it anyway so Bellai would think well of him. “Like your scent.”
“Flowers?” Viau settled his legs around Rafi, which were bare although he still had his shirt on. “I didn’t think you cared for flowers.”
“Flowers… and grass. And… and sun and the dirt beneath me.” Rafi held onto Viau’s arm at his waist. “Falling asleep to the sound of bees. Wading across a creek. Flowers and hay still green and unharvested. Spring and…. When I was home, there was nothing for me to do. No place for me that was mine. I sat with my siblings for the tutors and came inside for meals, but that was all. I’d wander.
I slept in the fields a lot. The ground would be warm from the sun and everything smelled alive.
” Rafi swallowed, wishing for more water.
“That’s your scent, the grass and the earth.
‘Flowers’ was easier to say. And… Laure seemed to believe it meant something.
That I associate you with all of that. Which maybe I do. ”
“Ah,” Viau answered, adding nothing that might have been reassuring. Although Rafi shouldn’t have needed that, for they were only talking of scent.
“Ah?” Rafi finally asked anyway.
“Apologies. I was slightly overcome.” Viau cleared his throat.
“You smell good as well, although I can only tell you that you smell of good things. Clean sweat, and water, and a general ripeness when your aedis is close. Sometimes soap, or something you’ve eaten, or the straw from a training dummy you’ve recently destroyed.
I enjoy the scent of you, though miné are not as influenced by it. ”
“Not even during perforis?” Rafi released Viau’s arm but didn’t move to continue undressing. He rubbed his palms over Viau’s bare skin.
Viau hummed into Rafi’s hair as if he enjoyed that.
“Oh, yes, scent might drive us mad then, or lure us anywhere. But just before we’ve started—I’ve started, I should say.
I can only really speak for myself where scent is concerned.
But yes, we like it initially and while the fever has hold of us.
But in those moments, we’re little more than animals anyway. ”
Viau as an animal was difficult to imagine. Rafi was being gently held and cossetted and that was at odds with the idea of Viau as a rutting beast, intent on getting his cock into something and keeping it there.
That was what Viau did when Rafi begged him to, and if he was a rutting beast, he was also still Viau.
Rafi warmed all through his core, his blood hot and pooling heavily in his lap when the image lingered behind his eyes.
Viau was careful and thoughtful, focused on Rafi’s pleasure, always.
Rafi liked that. But… but Viau might like more, and without having to wait for Rafi to ask.
He should have that if he wanted it. He shouldn’t have to hide.
“Do you need help with your perforis?” Saying it and hearing it made Rafi shift back so he wouldn’t be caught squirming. “My help?”
Viau’s hands flexed at Rafi’s sides before he pulled them away.
“Rafi.” Viau could have been warning Rafi not to duel again with his cautious tone. “Perforis is strange. There’s nothing lovely about it as there is for you.”
“Lovely?” Rafi shivered to hear it but then scowled into the shadows. “Am I not also an animal? Do I not mewl and whine and beg? Ask for things that would embarrass me? Crawl for you?”
“Rafi.” Viau’s hands came back to him, arms sliding around his hips. “You are a soft animal. One who needs care.”
Rafi had threatened to kill someone mere hours ago.
He growled and slid out of Viau’s arms and off the bed to face him. “And you don’t need care? Do you visit a friend who is better at your bed-play than me, or do you go through it alone and suffer the consequences?”
Viau stood to meet him. “I don’t visit anyone.
I’m too known for that. My cousin might have assured partners to maintain the king’s health, who know that any whispers to outsiders will ruin them, but I don’t.
And now you’re worrying, aren’t you? Rafi,” he came forward to fold Rafi into his arms, rubbing Rafi’s upper arms as if Rafi was the one who needed comfort, “there are no consequences except exhaustion and some hunger. Perforis is rough, and…”
“I’m just a little nex?”
Viau’s scoff was reassuring. “You are a stubborn, ruthless, somewhat-little warrior. But you are also new to this, and perhaps prefer to think of me as something other than a selfish animal rutting into the nearest hole for hours.”
Throbbing and increasingly damp between his legs, Rafi marveled at Viau’s phrasing. It was not poetry, but it was affecting. That was exactly what Viau did during perforis and Rafi didn’t think it any less embarrassing than what he did. He would also like to hear more about it.
He said, “So you are the same as every other miné with a cock that will not go soft?” then almost gasped at his own words. “That bothers you more than it bothers me. I’m not weak.”
“I didn’t say you were.” Not even Viau could keep his voice level in such a moment at such a time of night, but his irritation was fleeting. “But you will think….”