Chapter 10
The moor was beautiful. It stretched out before them, trees dotted around, and the terrain looked forbidden and disconcerting. Rosalind didn’t think it was possible for something like that to look stunning.
Maybe that was the beauty of Scotland itself. Something she wasn’t used to was going to have its attractiveness.
She rode sedately alongside Ravensmuir as Theo and Julian rode ahead, Julian telling Theo something as he pointed up ahead. Ravensmuir kept his eyes on Julian, his jaw tight as he tracked the man’s movements.
What was going on there? Was he worried about Julian? He didn’t need to be; Rosalind trusted him.
“Is there something wrong, my lord?” she asked.
“Hmm?” He blinked and turned his gaze to her. “What?”
“You’ve been staring at my brother-in-law for a long time. Are you worried about something?”
He cleared his throat and adjusted his grip on the reins.
“I’m naturally suspicious. It’s just something that’s a part of me, I’m afraid. I’ve always been that way.”
Rosalind frowned.
“You don’t need to worry about Julian. He loves Theo. He would never let any harm come to him.”
“I’ll trust your judgment on that,” he murmured.
Even as he said it, she had a feeling he wasn’t being entirely truthful. While it smarted that he wouldn’t trust the same people she did, Rosalind understood that strangers could be under suspicion for some time. Ravensmuir was going to be wary around Julian until the latter proved himself.
“It’s nice that Julian could come and stay with us,” she said, absently adjusting her bonnet to make sure her scars were covered. “He said he would make sure we were settled in, even with all the business he had to deal with in London.”
“Is he always busy?”
“For the most part. He has shares in several businesses, which are thriving. And he runs a business with a couple of childhood friends.”
“What is it? Do you know?”
Rosalind was about to say, and then she realized she didn’t actually know. Julian had talked about the business but in such vague terms it was difficult to know what it did.
“I’m not sure,” she hedged. “Something to do with bringing imports into the country, I believe? You’d have to ask Julian yourself.”
“You’re not aware of what it is?”
“He says it’s too complicated for me to understand.”
Ravensmuir grunted. “That sounds rather patronizing.”
“I suppose it’s true. I’ve been so busy looking after my son that everything just seems to go over my head.” Rosalind couldn’t help but smile. “William said it would be at least three more years before I can have a proper, intelligent conversation where I can focus all my attention on it.”
He arched an eyebrow at her. “You make it sound like a mother’s mind disappears when a child is small. And you have a governess to help.”
“I know. But he was right. I’m so worried about Theo and thinking about what to do with him that everything can just be ignored. I know I should leave Bea to look after him, but I like spending time with my son. He’s funny, quick-witted, and he’s very kind. I wouldn’t ask for a better child.”
Ravensmuir looked at her curiously, and Rosalind felt like she was being scrutinized, even if his expression was perfectly pleasant.
She glanced away, and then noticed that something was wrong.
Theo’s horse had gone on ahead, further than Julian’s horse, and it looked to be getting agitated.
It was tossing its head and snorting loudly, and it seemed to be picking up speed.
Rosalind stiffened. Was Theo in trouble?
“Theo,” she called. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Mama,” he called back. “I can do—”
Suddenly, the horse bolted, and took Theo with it clinging to the saddle. Rosalind’s heart stopped. From what Ravensmuir had said, they were getting near to the old quarry. In fact, she could see the sudden drop not too far ahead.
“Theo!” she screamed.
Ravensmuir reacted faster than she did, kicking his horse into a gallop.
He sprinted off, charging toward Theo as the little boy screamed.
But Julian had also moved, and was closer, his horse managing to get over the uneven ground.
Rosalind tried to ride after them, but her horse snorted nervously and lurched sideways.
It was then she noticed the bog that she’d almost ridden into, the mud sucking and popping bubbles on the surface.
By the time she managed to calm her horse and got around the bog, Julian had reached Theo’s horse and pulled it to a stop not far from the edge.
He jumped down and tugged Theo out of the saddle.
The little boy clung onto him shaking, his head buried against his neck.
Ravensmuir reached them and dismounted, approaching before stopping a short distance away.
Rosalind’s heart was pounding hard as she rode over, careful where she went. She didn’t want to fall into another bog.
“Theo!” She got down, almost landing flat on her face when her foot got caught in the stirrup. Shaking herself free, she rushed over to her son. “Theo, are you all right?”
“Mama!” Theo jumped down from Julian’s arms and hugged her tightly as Rosalind fell to her knees. “That was so scary!”
“The horse must’ve gotten spooked by an animal in the undergrowth,” Julian said. His face was flushed, and he was breathing heavily. “He was lucky that he didn’t bolt over the—”
Rosalind gave him a sharp look, which made him stop. She felt her son tremble in her arms, and she rubbed her back. Relief flooded through her, and she had to fight back the tears. If she’d lost her son as well…
Then she glanced up at Ravensmuir, and the relief stuttered. He wasn’t watching her or Theo. He was looking at Julian, his eyes narrowed and his face looking like it had been carved out of stone. What was going on with that? Surely, he’d be relieved as well.
Evidently not.
Then he looked at her, and something in his gaze flickered. It was then that she realized her bonnet had been dislodged, and her hair was blown away from her face. Her scars were visible, and the earl was looking right at them.
Embarrassed, Rosalind began to pull her hair back, shifting away from Theo to adjust her composure. But Ravensmuir’s eyes never left her face. He didn’t look disgusted by what he saw. If anything, he looked intrigued.
Rosalind didn’t know what to think about that.
“Here’s your bonnet, Rosalind.” Julian appeared at her side. He held it out. “You don’t need to worry about what you look like, though.”
“That’s a matter of opinion,” Rosalind muttered, practically snatching the bonnet out of his hand and standing, almost jamming it on her head. “It’s the first thing people see of me. And you know how self-conscious I am about it.”
Julian gave her a smile, his head tilted to one side.
“I shouldn’t be concerned,” he said. “You’ll find a gentleman who will be glad to have you, scar and all. Everything shines through, and you can’t hide that.”
For a moment, Rosalind thought it was a compliment. But the comment “scar and all” stuck out to her the most. Now that felt like she’d been insulted. Julian knew how self-conscious she was about her current state, and he made a point of not bringing it up.
A sudden chill settled around her, and she turned away, only to notice that Ravensmuir was still watching her. She now felt very warm, and she could feel her face getting hot. He wasn’t looking at her in revulsion, much like others had until she learned to cover her scars.
Quite the opposite.
“Mama,” Theo tugged at her hand, “can we go home? I don’t feel very well.”
“Darling?”
“I feel like I’m going to be sick.” He did look rather pale. “I want to go home.”
Rosalind almost said they were nowhere near home, only to remember they were living at Corrieden now. Swallowing back that remark, she nodded and took his hand.
“All right. Do you think you can ride your horse?”
Theo shook his head.
“He can ride with me,” Ravensmuir said. “I’ll tether his horse to mine, and we can head back that way.”
“Are you sure?” Rosalind asked. “I don’t want—”
“Don’t want to put me out?” He gave her a slight smile. “You don’t need to worry about that. The focus is on Lord Ellingham right now, and if he’s unwell we should tend to him.”
There was logic in there, but Rosalind still felt like she was putting him out.
As she stood up and dusted herself down, she caught sight of Julian’s expression as he turned away.
He didn’t look too happy. Was he annoyed that the earl had joined them?
Or was it something else? Rosalind would talk to him later; she was more worried about her son.
It didn’t take long to get everyone sorted, Theo sitting in front of Ravensmuir with his horse tethered to the reins.
Theo was shivering, and he huddled against the earl, still looking pale.
Rosalind wished she could have her son sitting with her, but it would be hard to keep her balance when she was riding side-saddle.
It was easier for him to go with Ravensmuir.
“I’ll go on ahead,” Julian said, turning his horse around. “We don’t want to end up having another accident, do we?”
“Certainly not,” Ravensmuir muttered, and then Julian was riding away, his back straight and his shoulders tense. “He looks nervous.”
Rosalind frowned. “I’m not surprised. His nephew could’ve gone over the edge.”
Theo whimpered, and Rosalind winced.
“Forgive me, Theo. I didn’t mean to say that so loudly.”
The earl glanced at her, and then he nudged his horse into movement.
They fell into easy steps next to each other.
Rosalind watched Julian as he moved further ahead, wondering why he was behaving strangely.
Of course he would be perturbed at knowing his nephew could’ve gone over the edge, but there was something else to it. She couldn’t put her finger on it.
It was likely because she was still annoyed by his comment about her scar. She didn’t like it being pointed out, and while he might not have meant anything badly by it, it was still frustrating and made her aware of her appearance.
“I can’t understand what happened there,” Ravensmuir said. “I gifted you Theo’s horse because she was the most placid animal I had. She wouldn’t have bolted off like that.”
“Perhaps she got nervous?” Rosalind suggested, but he shook his head.
“Something happened, but I’m not entirely sure what.” Then he shifted in his saddle. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.”
Rosalind didn’t know what to say to that. How could there be a logical explanation to what happened? The horse had simply bolted, and Theo had been lucky. If Julian hadn’t been there…
She was not going to think about that. It would just leave her in pieces again. Losing her husband was bad enough, but losing her young son…
“You shouldn’t let any man’s kindness teach you to hide,” he said quietly.
Rosalind jumped. She almost didn’t hear him talking.
“What?”
He glanced at her, his expression softening.
“There is nothing in your face a person with any sense would wish away,” he replied. “It doesn’t define you. You’re still the same person.”
Rosalind swallowed. She could feel her heart fluttering, and she didn’t know why. Somehow, his words were better than Julian’s, and she could feel something lifting off her shoulders. But then the weight settled again.
“Well, it’s easier said than done. Especially when it’s very prominent,” she mumbled.
Ravensmuir’s mouth twitched, and the corners of his eyes crinkled.
“I can understand that it’s hard right now, but you’ll see it yourself eventually.
You shouldn’t have to hide yourself when you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Especially when you survived something so horrific.
You can hold your head high and know that if anyone has a problem with how you look then they’re not worth your time. ”
Rosalind let the words sink in. They weren’t as soft and gentle as Julian’s, but they were compassionate, and she found herself smiling back.
It tugged at the scar at the corner of her mouth, and it made her grimace a little, but Ravensmuir’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t seem concerned at all.
She couldn’t look away from his eyes. They were capturing her gaze, and Rosalind felt something tingling across her skin.
She managed to look away, shifting in her saddle and trying not to slide off.
What had just happened there? She’d never experienced anything like that before, and it was a little unnerving.
She shouldn’t be staring at another man.
And yet, when it came to the Earl of Ravensmuir, she couldn’t help herself.