Chapter 14
Rosalind thought she’d misheard him. She stared at him, trying to get the words into a proper order in his head.
Had he just suggested they go to a ball together?
“Did… what… I…”
“I know it’s suddenly out of nowhere,” Cormac hurried on, his own expression as stunned as she felt. “But I thought it would be a good idea. Just once, at the very least.”
“Even with my…” Rosalind put her hand to her face. “With what I have?”
“There’s nothing wrong with being out in the open. You don’t have anything to be afraid of, Rosalind.”
She didn’t know about that. She could still remember how people openly stared at her when they caught sight of her face. Could she even manage it here when she’d already decided to hide away?
A movement from the door made her jump, and she saw Theo entering the room. She frowned, partly relieved and partly annoyed about the interruption.
“Theo, why are you here? You’re supposed to be doing your lessons with Bea.”
“She went to get something, and I wanted to play.” Theo beamed at Cormac. “I thought I saw Cormac coming, and I wanted to see him.”
Cormac smiled and approached her son, kneeling down in front of him.
“I came to ask if your mother wanted to come to a ball with me tomorrow night.”
“A ball?” Theo’s eyes were round. “I want to go to one of those! Papa said they were big and grand and sparkly.”
“They certainly are, but I think you’re a bit too young to go right now.”
“Even with my title?”
“That doesn’t ignore your young age. And you would find it incredibly boring.” Cormac tapped the boy’s shoulder. “Maybe when you’re old enough.”
Theo nodded thoughtfully. Then he looked at Rosalind.
“And you want to take Mama to a ball? Will she play the piano there as well?”
Rosalind shot to her feet suddenly in a panic, which caused a bemused look to be shot her way by Cormac. She spluttered over her words.
“I… that’s not… I don’t think anyone should have to… to listen…”
“Nonsense,” Cormac said, his voice silencing her. “You’re a delightful pianist. Don’t you think so, Theo?”
Her son nodded emphatically. “She can play better than anyone in the world. I wish I could play the piano like her.”
“Then maybe that’s something that can be arranged.” Cormac didn’t take his eyes off Rosalind. “I’m sure your mother will do anything to make that happen.”
Rosalind felt like the two of them had planned this, to ensure that she should do something she was not comfortable doing. Theo beamed at her and trotted over, hugging her around the waist.
“You should go, Mama,” he said. “You’re the finest lady in Scotland. I want everyone to know it.”
That was enough for Rosalind to falter and rethink her decision. Although her nerves were screaming at her that it wasn’t going to be a good idea. However, if Theo had confidence in her and was all for it, then she couldn’t deny him.
Even though she spent the rest of the time between then and the next evening when Cormac came to fetch her as a bundle of fear, agitated and unable to sit still.
She couldn’t relax, knowing that she was going to be in a crowded room with lots of other people, and they were going to be staring at her.
She knew she shouldn’t be ashamed, but her features were marred. It would be what people would see immediately. She didn’t like the staring before, and now it would be happening again.
However, she had said she would go, and Rosalind wasn’t about to back down. Not when Theo believed it would be fun.
When Cormac arrived that evening in his carriage, Rosalind had decided to wait outside for him, tugging her cloak around her shoulders as she shivered in the cool evening air.
She’d contemplated adjusting her hair so it would hide her scars, but both Bea and Theo said that she shouldn’t hide herself.
She would have to reveal everything regardless of how she felt.
If Cormac could look at her and see her and not the scars, then surely other people could as well?
Cormac alighted from the carriage, looking splendid in dark blue, his hair looking to be freshly washed, his jaw clean shaven. Rosalind’s heart fluttered at the sight of him, wondering how such a man could look so magnificent. His eyes widened when he saw her, his expression one of approval.
“Lady Ellingham,” he said, giving her a low bow, his eyes never leaving her face. “You look beautiful.”
“I…” Rosalind felt her face getting hot. She’d been complimented before, but now she felt tongue-tied. “I don’t know…”
“You shouldn’t let bad things define you. Lift your head, and you’ll look more beautiful than ever.”
“You shouldn’t flatter me so much, Cormac. It’s embarrassing.”
His mouth twitched, and he held out a hand.
“Shall we, my lady? Your ball awaits you.”
Rosalind hesitated a moment before slipping her hand into his, allowing him to help her into the carriage.
Cormac sat across from her, slamming the door shut, and the carriage started to turn as it rounded the driveway and back toward the gate.
Rosalind looked out into the dwindling twilight.
Her apprehension was still there, and it wasn’t shifting.
“You’ll be fine,” Cormac assured her. “It’s not going to be like those in London.”
“How do you know? Have you ever been to London?”
“No, but I’ve heard stories. Things are a bit more relaxed around here.”
Rosalind didn’t quite believe that. She was certain that it would be the same, and she didn’t want to be anywhere near it. But she’d agreed, and this was something she had to do. She twisted her hands in her lap.
“What is the McCulloch family like?” she asked. “Are they nice people?”
“They’re very pleasant people. Lady McCulloch is my favorite.
She’s a bit of a mother hen, and she looks after everyone.
Lord McCulloch…” Cormac made a face. “He does seem like a grumpy old man but he’s very kind.
He’s just got a very rough exterior. Their three daughters and two sons are all married and starting their own families, and they visit regularly. ”
“Are they friends of yours?”
“I grew up with the children, but we drifted apart when I…” He cleared his throat. “When I went through my self-isolation. Maybe this is a sign that I should start interacting with others again.”
Rosalind didn’t answer. She was aware of Cormac pulling away from Society and choosing to be on his own, but she hadn’t wanted to pry. He would have reasons, and it was likely too painful to discuss it. She would let him bring it up on his own; it wasn’t her business.
Then again, part of her wanted to make it that.
“When’s your brother-in-law getting back from Inverness?” Cormac asked, bringing her out of her drifting thoughts.
“Oh, I’m not sure.” She shifted on her seat as they bounced over the path. “He didn’t tell me about when he could be back. Said that I didn’t need to worry about that, and I should trust him.”
“I see.” He tilted his head to one side, looking pensive. “And do you trust him?”
Normally, Rosalind would say immediately that she did, but something made her stop.
She couldn’t get the words out without them tripping over each other.
She floundered, unsure of what to say. Then she decided to fall silent.
Cormac stared at her, not saying a word, before he looked out the window himself.
Rosalind wondered what was going through his head with the way she hesitated.
The McCulloch’s house was huge, even bigger than Ravensmuir and Corrieden. Lady McCulloch was in the foyer to greet them as a good hostess, greeting Cormac warmly and clasping his hands with a look of delight on her comely face.
“It’s so good to see you again, Cormac! I’m delighted you could be here.”
“I thought it would be the right time.” Cormac turned to Rosalind. “This is the Dowager Viscountess, Lady Ellingham. She’s just moved to Corrieden with her son, the current viscount. I thought it would be good for her to see what Scottish Society is like.”
Lady McCulloch beamed at Rosalind, barely flinching at her scars as she squeezed her hands.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Ellingham. I know it’s a bit daunting, but you needn’t worry. We’re very welcoming people.”
“Thank you,” Rosalind whispered, unsure of what to say.
“And I’m sure Cormac will look after you. He’s good at making sure people are at ease.” Lady McCulloch raised her eyebrows. “At least, he was when I last saw him. It has been a while.”
Rosalind noticed how flustered Cormac was, shuffling from foot to foot. He kept glancing over their hostess’s shoulder at the door to the ballroom, where people were coming in and out. Lady McCulloch smiled at him.
“She’s not here,” she said. “You don’t need to worry about bumping into her.”
“What?” Cormac blinked. “I wasn’t—”
“She hasn’t been personally welcome here since what happened. I don’t approve of what she did, and she’s also upset my daughters over her behavior. Needless to say, if she is here I haven’t approved it.”
Rosalind saw a look of relief pass across his face, which made her curious. What did that mean? Who were they talking about? She didn’t know what was going on, but it was clear Lady McCulloch was aware.
“Enjoy your evening, Lady Ellingham,” the older woman said, nodding before turning away. “Cormac will look after you.”
Clearing his throat, Cormac took Rosalind’s arm and steered her toward the ballroom.
It felt like everyone who lived in the Highlands was present.
The room was busy, and she could barely see a gap in the crowd.
Rosalind’s chest began to tighten in her panic.
She couldn’t see how this was going to work.
She was going to be thrust into the middle of Scottish Society, and everyone would look at her.
She could feel her mouth going dry, and she felt lightheaded.
“It’s going to be all right,” Cormac murmured, steering her toward another door. “We’ll go at your pace. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“What I want to do is leave immediately,” Rosalind hissed back. “But I said I would come, and I’m not about to back down already.”