Chapter 29 #2
They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Then Cormac cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Ellingham’s not been found yet.”
Rosalind stilled. “He’s not dead, is he?”
“We don’t know. He’s likely swum farther downstream and gotten out that way. But the magistrate is having his men searching everywhere. He won’t get away for long.”
Rosalind hoped that was the case. She didn’t want Julian to die, but she couldn’t forgive him for what he did. He killed William, tried to kill her, and was targeting a small child. There was nothing there that could redeem him for whatever he did.
“Sir Crispin is currently with the magistrate, telling him about his part and what Ellingham told him,” Cormac said. “And Hale’s spoken to him as well. He’s feeling relieved that he’s not having to hide away anymore.”
“What about Sir Crispin?” Rosalind asked.
“He’s ashamed of what he did, and how he got manipulated into his current position.
He’s planning on withdrawing from Society.
I don’t think we’ll likely see him for a long time.
” He spread his hands at her. “I bought all of his debts and burned them, so he's freed of them now. And he said he would take the break of your engagement on himself so you won’t have a deeper shadow on you.”
Rosalind grunted. “Once it comes out what happened, I don’t think anyone is going to see me as the one who did something wrong. They’re going to see me as a victim. I hope.”
“I’m sure that’s going to happen. And there will be a lot of sympathy.”
“I don’t want sympathy. I want people to realize that I’m not an evil person.”
Cormac arched an eyebrow. “I don’t think anyone could see you as evil.”
“Have you seen me?” Rosalind gestured at her cheek. “How can you see anything except evil when you look at me? I know people see that when they openly stare at me.”
But Cormac shook his head. He stepped toward her.
“That’s not true,” he said softly. “Nobody sees you as evil.”
“If you don’t look like everyone else, you’re seen as evil, aren’t you?”
“Not when it comes to you.” He cupped her face in his hands. “Never with you.”
Rosalind only had a second to realize that he was touching both her untouched cheek and scarred side before he gently kissed her. She was so stunned that she barely reacted. Cormac brushed his lips across hers and lifted his head.
“I’ve never seen you as evil,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “And it’s never been about duty. Yes, William wanted me to look out for you, but I would’ve stopped a long time ago. I wouldn’t have carried on like I did.”
“Then why did you?” Rosalind breathed.
“Because I wanted to do it for myself. You drew me out of myself, you made me a better person. I began to enjoy life. I didn’t want to get close, and yet it happened without either of us really doing anything. It became natural.”
Rosalind licked her dry lips, trying to comprehend what he was saying. Her head was taking everything in, but it didn’t seem to be working. She gulped.
“What do you mean by that, Cormac?” she croaked.
“This.” He kissed her again, this time a little more firmly. “I love you. Ever since we met. It took me a long time to realize that I was in love, but when it came to me, it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I’ve loved before, and that woman broke my heart.”
“Ottoline,” Rosalind whispered.
“I cannot love someone who would hurt me like that. What I feel for you is different. Stronger, somehow. I never looked out for you because of obligation. I wanted you, but I knew I didn’t have a right to.”
Cormac grimaced. “It was difficult being around you and unable to tell you the truth because of what was going on. Especially once your brother-in-law turned up. I knew he was dangerous, but by the time he was there it was too late. I almost failed you.”
Rosalind shook her head. The words were sinking in now. She’d never anticipated it, but it was making warmth bloom through her chest. She felt it growing, and it was as if a weight was lifting off her shoulders.
She smiled. “You didn’t fail me. You were there when I needed you. I didn’t need to doubt you when it came to looking after Theo or myself.”
“Do you mean that?”
“I do. And I wanted you to.” She reached up and touched his cheek, fingers brushing across his skin. “I wanted to be around you, to feel happy and believe that there was a future. That I could go on with someone else.”
He blinked.
“Does… does that mean…?”
“What you think it means? That I love you, too?” Rosalind rose up on tiptoe and kissed him. “Yes, it does. And I love you, Cormac Mackinnon.”
His eyes darkened, and he growled. Then he swept her into his arms, picking her off the floor as he spun them around, hugging her tightly. Rosalind gasped and clung onto his shoulders.
“Careful! You’re going to drop me!”
“I’m not going to do that.” He stopped, putting her feet back on the ground. “I’m never going to drop you, Rosalind. Never.”
She was still giggling when he kissed her again, feeling the warmth wrapping around the two of them. For the first time since the accident, she truly felt wanted.