Chapter 38
Struan hoped that all of those romance books recommended by Eiley and Harper would at least amount to something.
He was grand-gesturing to the extreme, and the vulnerability he felt as he waited in the orchard made his fingers tremble over his guitar strings.
He’d already forgotten half the chords, but hoped that the trail of white petals and tea lights he’d scattered between the rows of apple trees would make up for the inevitable ruin of Rae’s favourite song, given to him by Martha.
Really, he wouldn’t blame her if all this did was chase her away for good, but he had to show Rae what she meant to him. Not just her, but Martha, too, to put her mind at ease now she’d offered her blessing.
‘Shite. What on earth are you doing to yourself, you wee plonker?’ he murmured to himself when he saw colours weaving between the tayberry shrubs.
Mum was the first to appear under the stone archway, giving him an excited wave before stepping aside.
Vik was next, flashing him a thumbs up before joining her under the shade of the drooping plum tree.
When he saw Martha towing a hidden figure along, his stomach collapsed in on itself, and he had to turn his back to gather his composure.
If he was going to make an arse of himself, he wasn’t sure he could look at her while doing it.
And yet, when he heard Martha urge, ‘Come on,’ his body twisted of its own accord, as drawn to her as it had been from that day he’d seen her again in the farmhouse kitchen.
In Glasgow, he’d felt the distance between them like a hollow tunnel.
Now, he saw the light at the end of it: her, wearing a pink dress patterned with strawberries, ash-brown hair wreathed in daisies and cascading over her shoulders – more beautiful than any waterfall.
Her lips were as deep red as the fruit behind her, cheeks rosy as she finally locked eyes with him.
‘Please don’t “Wonderwall” me,’ she begged.
He grinned and positioned his fingers over the first chord of ‘Strawberry Wine’ by Noah Kahan. At least, he thought it was the first chord. His brain was empty of anything but her, just the way he liked it.
As he strummed, Martha winced and plugged her fingers in her ears.
Very reassuring. Vik hid her laugh behind her hand, Mum’s brows raised a little too high to make her enthusiastic claps believable.
Rae’s face, though, softened as though he was as talented as any musician.
She edged towards him, humming the right tune when his fingers failed him, giggling when it didn’t help him get back on track because she distracted him too much to gather his composure.
By the time he got to the bridge, he’d completely lost his grip on the melody, so he lowered the guitar with a huff.
He’d wanted to sweep her off her feet. Give her the serenade she deserved.
‘At least I don’t have to worry about you only liking me for my musical talent,’ he gritted out finally.
She laughed, her smile radiant and unwavering. ‘If you wanted to impress me, this probably wasn’t the best way to do it.’
He grunted, lifting up the guitar strap and propping the instrument against the oak tree. He didn’t want a barrier between them for this next part, regardless of how it went.
‘I liked it anyway,’ she whispered, looking up at him from under her dark lashes. ‘In fact, I think I enjoyed it better than the original.’
‘Liar.’
She shook her head. ‘No. I’ve never been able to lie to you.’
He dipped his chin, tucking his wind-tousled hair behind his ear. Without the guitar to root him in place, he felt lost, unsure how to stand, act, move. All he wanted was to pull her in, but he needed to know she wanted it, too, first. ‘You look breathtaking.’
She smoothed the sheer fabric over her hips timidly. ‘Thank you. I thought your course didn’t end until next week.’
‘I’m heading back to finish up Monday morning.’
‘So… why are you here? This could have waited.’
‘No, it couldn’t.’ He cast a smirk Martha’s way. ‘Besides, I was warned that my balls were in jeopardy if I didn’t get my arse here and make things right.’
She snorted. ‘Well, we can’t have that. Though, really, you’re not the one who ruined things. I did. I was a coward.’
‘That’s because Martha is terrifying.’
‘Oi!’ Martha shouted.
He shot her a shooing motion, and even from here, he saw the roll of her eyes, but Mum was kind enough to drag her and Vik away, giving them much-needed privacy – not before Martha threatened, ‘If you hurt her, you’ll lose more than just your balls!’
He didn’t doubt it, but he also didn’t intend to hurt Rae. Ever. He longed for the day Martha would start to believe that.
He took Rae’s hands, running a gentle thumb over her knuckles. ‘I missed you so fucking much.’
‘I missed you, too.’ Her voice shimmered with the sincerity of it, enough to make his heart plummet into his stomach all over again.
He’d been filled with doubts over the last week, her absence filled by the certainty that she could never want him with as much ferocity as he did her, but now she was here, he could see his own desperate adoration mirrored in her and he knew: he was hers.
When they were this close, it wasn’t even a question, which was perhaps why he’d fallen so quickly, so deeply, to begin with.
She was his constant. His compass. His north.
‘I was half-empty without you,’ he admitted.
She cupped his jaw. ‘Struan—’
He cut her off, desperate to say everything he needed to before she questioned him.
Before she tried to pull away again. ‘I know it won’t be easy.
Martha will need time to get used to us, and you’ll be busy with the farm and your career, but I’d follow you anywhere, Rae.
Anywhere in the world. Whatever you want, wherever you go, whatever you do, we’ll make it work.
’ He pressed her hand against his chest so that she could feel the truth in every thump of his heart.
‘I get this feeling when I’m in the mountains, right here.
’ He lowered her down to his stomach. ‘Like I’m where I belong.
Like the world is big enough to work things out, and I can finally believe everything is going to turn out okay.
I get that with you. Every time I look at you, I’m on a mountain peak.
I love you. So much. I think I was always supposed to love you. ’
She blinked away tears. He hadn’t realised his own cheeks were damp until she gently swiped them. ‘That was very romantic.’
‘Not too cheesy?’
‘Maybe, but I like cheesy.’ She stood on her tiptoes to cup his jaw. ‘You don’t need to follow me,’ she promised. ‘My home is here. I don’t need to be anywhere else. Just with you.’
It was the response he hadn’t dared hope for, and his knees turned weak in the face of it.
He pulled her close, hitching her thighs around his waist so she didn’t have to crane to reach him.
The dimples in her cheeks ignited a new fire in him, and he wanted so badly to savour this moment that he couldn’t bear to lean in and taste her just yet.
‘I plan to worship you every fucking day, Rae Docharty,’ he whispered against her nose.
Her throat bobbed, fingers running through his hair. ‘I’ll hold you to that, Struan Macgibbon.’
Unable to resist her sweetness a moment longer, he leaned her against the trunk of the oak tree, pressed his lips to her mouth, and made a start on fulfilling his promise.
The gradual ebb of the farm’s bustle was Struan’s favourite part of the day so far, because it meant that he got to watch the tension in Rae’s shoulders dissolve, little by little.
He’d been so proud to step onto the fields earlier and see her dreams come to fruition.
There wasn’t a visitor who had left Sweetbriar without a smile on their face – or paint, thanks to the bubbly face painter and her inescapable brush.
Struan had gotten away with only a few whiskers on his cheek, but Martha and Vik had been tinged with turquoise glitter to resemble mermaid scales.
As the stalls were dismantled and the bouncy castles deflated, Struan helped his sister set up the picnic tables for the volunteers’ banquet, unable to school his Chesire cat grin.
She clucked her tongue as she adjusted a centrepiece of fragrant lavender and delicate carnations arranged in a mason jar.
‘Gross,’ was all she said, readjusting a strand of his hair that had escaped to the wrong side of his head.
He scraped it all back, biting back a laugh as memories of that reunion played through his mind.
He hadn’t been bold enough to touch Rae just metres away from the fair, but fuck, he’d wanted to, especially when she’d dragged her red nails over his scalp the way she did.
He knew none of it would have happened without Martha. ‘Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy before.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy before,’ she agreed, scales shimmering in the lowering sun as she tilted her head. ‘My best friend hooking up with my brother was not on this year’s bingo card, I’ll give you that.’
‘Can’t say I expected it myself, either.’ He caught sight of Mum talking to Myra by the farm shop. It prompted him to ask, ‘How are things with Mum?’
He hadn’t seen her so animated in years, and it settled that last shred of discomfort in his gut. She’d said hurtful things, things he’d spent a long time trying not to internalise, but she was here, trying, and it was enough.
Besides, he didn’t care if she found him lacking anymore. He looked forward to being an uncle, but he didn’t need children of his own, nor a mortgage or a nine-to-five.
He already had everything he needed.
Martha shrugged. ‘She said all the right things. I just hope she means them.’
‘Well, you’ve got me, whatever happens. I can’t wait for the day I become an uncle.’ He draped an arm over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. She wrinkled her nose when he disrupted her fringe with his stubble.
‘It might not take as long as we thought…’
He lifted his brows, eager for her to explain.
‘We got a call from the adoption agency last night. We’re officially on the waiting list.’
‘That’s…’ Emotion stole his words, and it took him moments to find them again. ‘That’s the best news, M.’
‘God, you really have turned into a sap,’ she said, though she was welling up, too.
‘I always was. Just better at hiding it before.’ Like always, his gaze sought out his true north, finding Rae helping Warren to put the stall tables back in storage.
Though she walked with a spring in her step, he saw the sunburn on her shoulders, her gentle frown, and decided she’d done more than enough today.
She didn’t need to cook for a dozen volunteers – and selfishly, he wanted the banquet to end quicker so he could have her all to himself.
‘What if I took care of the food tonight?’ he decided.
She snorted. ‘Yeah, right. What are you going to make? Rice Crispies?’
He rolled his eyes. ‘I was thinking it might be nice to give Rae a break from the kitchen.’
She softened in understanding. ‘All right. Let’s find Audrey. Between the three of us, I reckon we can figure something out.’