Chapter Twenty-Nine
M y head ached. It throbbed, and every heartbeat sent shockwaves of pain through my whole body, right down to the fins.
Fins.
I still had fins. I was still in the water–
It was dark. Not the regular darkness of deep, crushing waters, but the soft kiss of night-falling. The day was nearly done, and I was nowhere near the surface. With only a couple hours left before the moon would fully rise, my human lungs would fill with water until I drowned. Assuming Caspian and his very large mermen friends didn’t kill me first.
“What’s going on?” I managed to ask. I thought I did, anyway. My head pounded so hard I couldn’t tell if the words came out or not. Something jabbed my shoulder and I lunged forward, falling in slow motion until someone hauled me back.
“You’re staying here for the ritual. We’re keeping you from Merrow, so it’s not hard on her.” Caspian said.
“But didn’t you hear what she said? About… about the golden mermaid,” I stumbled out. What was her name? The only name I could remember now was Merrow.
“Try to relax, mate. This is going to suck, but we’ll make it quick, for her sake,” he said. There might have been pain in his eyes, like he regretted this, but it didn’t matter.
I knew what entering the water would mean for me, even if Merrow didn’t. Even if she refused to believe it, I always knew that I wouldn’t be leaving. My throat closed up, choking down all of the terror and sorrow. I wasn’t going to leave the water.
“Will she be here when it happens?”
“She has to do it,” he said softly.
“What happens if I die before then?”
“It’s never happened before,” Caspian replied. He searched my face, but I don’t think he found what he was looking for. “Are you planning on dying?”
“The stone that’s keeping me as a mermaid will run out at moonrise.”
“A merman. You’re not a female,” Caspian said, face stony and deadpan.
“I’m pretty sure I have a concussion, so maybe cut me a break.” At that he laughed, and some of the tension eased. My body felt so heavy that I couldn’t fully lift my head.
“If I had it my way, you wouldn’t die at all. I’ll try to rush you to the surface if you start changing back,” Caspian murmured. His words were so soft, I could have imagined them.
“Don’t. For Merrow,” I pleaded. If dying took the choice from her, made it easier–I’d do it. Caspian stilled, studying me again with those laser focused eyes.
He patted my shoulder, it strained my hands. When did they get tied behind me? The seaweed that bound them was silken, and it felt like I could tug out of them. “As much as I love her, I’d do it so she can complete the ritual. My love for her doesn’t supersede the duty of my tribe.”
“You love her?” Those were the only words that I heard, but of course he did, of course he loved her. How could anyone not love Merrow? She’d live a long, full life with him, after the ritual. After I died.
“She’s like a little sister to me. I’ve been getting her out of trouble for years. Her heart belongs to you, human. I just hope there’s something left of it after tomorrow.” I tried to picture Merrow as a child, playing jokes and having Caspian clean up her messes. I could picture it so clearly.
I prayed that there would be something left of me after tomorrow, too. I didn’t have the strength to voice the words, so I held them tight to my chest. Caspian let me have my silence as the aching in my head pulled me to sleep.