Chapter 1 #2
‘Perfect!’ Faye, all Aussie-tanned and bright-eyed made Margot feel every bit of her forty-nine years. She’d never really felt that flourish of youth she should have had at university and in the years afterwards.
Faye looked confident, in control, happy when she asked, ‘How are we this week?’
Another two members – Sarah and then Joel – appeared, eighty-one-year-old Sarah doing the same as Howard, and Faye repeating her prompts to switch on the microphone.
Joel, fifty-two, always looked so serious but as soon as he spoke his face transformed and it was obvious he was as friendly as the rest of them.
They were still waiting for Winston to join if he was coming this week, so with a few minutes to go, just like on other weeks, they had a brief catch-up.
When it was her turn Margot talked about her recent FaceTime with her youngest son, Alistair, who was doing a teaching degree apprenticeship.
She gave them the latest on her eldest son, Sebastian, who was a ski instructor and went wherever the job took him.
She didn’t let on to any of the other book club attendees that both boys clashed with their dad so much that they put themselves at a physical distance she hated.
Neither of her boys liked being in the family home any more and who could blame them? Margot could only blame herself.
She wished she’d been able to make things different for her sons.
She’d thought about leaving her marriage over the years and Perry knew it, because more than once he’d dropped snarky comments about her being reliant on him and unemployable with no skills.
He’d told her that she wouldn’t be able to afford anything like their lifestyle on her own, that if she left she’d soon come crawling back.
Margot had found it easier to stay than it was to ever try to walk out.
But she was going to turn fifty on her next birthday.
Was she really going to accept that this was it for the rest of her life?
Howard told them all about the walk he’d done at the weekend with his wife, Bonnie, on a short section of the coastal path near where they lived, with its spectacular views along the Jurassic Coast. What Margot would give to be there now.
Her house and its proximity to London was great in some ways – close to airports for their holidays, good schools when the boys had needed them – but lately it felt more stifling than ever to be so close to the capital.
‘How’s the bookshop?’ Joel asked Howard.
‘Are you still being badgered into selling?’ Sarah asked before Howard had a chance to respond to Joel.
Howard gave a slight nod. ‘I’ve had another visit from a suit. They weren’t successful with their bid to buy the shop. I was, so you’d think they would move on to something else. I can’t say I enjoy them coming in so often. I feel like they see me as an old man who will give up eventually.’
‘You could threaten to call the police,’ said Margot, worried about Howard.
He was in his seventies and she had visions of heavies going into his beloved bookshop and continuing to up the financial incentive for him to get out until he got so sick of it he had no choice.
And that would be incredibly sad. He was a cheery soul as it was but since he’d taken on the bookshop he’d got even more of a metaphoric spring in his step and seemed to have found his calling in retirement.
‘They’re not doing anything wrong,’ said Howard. ‘I just hope they get tired of it. I know I’ve had enough.’
Faye frowned. ‘Don’t be pushed into something you don’t want to do, Howard.’
‘I promise I won’t.’
‘And keep us updated,’ said Margot.
‘I promise to do that too.’
‘How are sales going?’ Faye asked. She was always good at jollying the conversation along, whether it was a personal chat like this or about a specific book.
‘It’s going like gangbusters.’ His remark brought a smile to everyone’s faces. He clearly had no regrets about taking the shop on six months ago. Margot only wished she had his courage and could make such a major change in her own life.
Talk moved on to Faye when Howard asked, ‘How is your dad finding it back here in Dorset?’ Her dad had apparently swapped the Sunshine Coast of Queensland, Australia to come to England to be closer to his brother in West Lulworth two months ago.
‘He’s enjoying it, and spending time with his brother has been good for the both of them. Dad told me he can’t wait for his first British winter in years.’
Margot’s rectangle on the screen illuminated around the edges when she said, ‘He’ll soon lose that desire when he can’t feel his fingers or his toes.’
Faye admitted, ‘I miss it too sometimes. I have good memories of winters, rugging up in coats and hats and big woolly scarves.’ Her family had emigrated when she was a teenager.
‘Rugging up?’ Howard interrupted.
‘It’s what you say as an Aussie,’ said Faye.
‘Bundled up,’ Howard put in.
‘Wrapped up,’ said Joel.
Faye’s smile grew as she noticed what Howard was wearing. ‘May I just say, very nice PJs this evening, Howard. Are they new?’
He chuckled. ‘Quite the opposite. These are my oldest pair. You don’t want to see the bottoms, but the top passes as acceptable – otherwise my Bonnie wouldn’t let me be on camera.’
‘You should get your wife to join in with us.’
‘We’d all love to meet her,’ said Sarah, squinting from behind a pair of glasses. She’d been coming to the book club intermittently for five years.
‘Bonnie doesn’t particularly like late nights. And she’s not into books, remember.’
‘I’ll never understand how anyone isn’t into books?’ said Faye with a shake of her head.
They all felt that way, and it was easy to forget that not everyone in the world did.
Ever since Margot was a young girl and got her first library card, she’d read whatever she could get her hands on.
She couldn’t even remember a time when she hadn’t had a book next to her bed.
Whether she’d had an exhausting day in pregnancy, or after the boys were born, or with the demands of catering work functions for Perry, doing all the laundry and keeping the house clean, she always found time to read at the end of the day.
Even if it was just for five minutes. It was always worth it.
It was a step back from the real world, after all.
‘Bonnie really doesn’t understand what the fuss is all about,’ Howard went on. ‘But then I don’t understand her love of splashing colours all over a piece of paper.’
He’d told them before that Bonnie was a painter. ‘What’s she working on at the moment?’ Margot indulged his desire to talk about his beloved. Part of what she loved about the Midnight Book Club was that it was as much about friendship as it was about the books. And she needed that desperately.
Howard momentarily disappeared from camera and came back into view with a picture resting on an easel.
‘That’s the bay!’ said Faye. ‘I recognise it. Oh, it’s beautiful. I do miss Dorset.’
‘With all that Queensland beauty?’ Margot doubted. ‘Surely not.’
‘Oh, I do. There’s something about the Jurassic Coast especially.’
‘I wholeheartedly agree,’ said Joel who lived in Scotland but had grown up in Devon. He was another member who had found the book club because he struggled to sleep most nights.
Margot admired the painting some more while Howard pointed out that the bottom of the picture was the foot of their garden and everything else was the view beyond – the road winding down towards the bookshop and then on to the sea, Lulworth Cove in the distance.
With no sign of Winston this week Faye announced that they should make a start.
‘Whatever has happened to the Australian contingent?’ Howard asked before they could get going. ‘Are they all away on their summer holidays?’
Faye shook her head. ‘It’s winter here, remember.’
‘That does not look like any winter to me.’ Margot twirled her index finger. ‘Turn the camera a bit.’
Amused, Faye turned her laptop, and into shot came the ocean, curved, with golden sands and white-tipped waves. It was stunning. And the vast expanse of blue sky didn’t speak of winter in the slightest.
‘Do you honestly miss winter here?’ Howard asked.
‘Sometimes I go down to Melbourne to get some proper cold,’ said Faye and to a few doubtful faces added, ‘You’d be surprised. We get snow in some parts of the country.’
Margot knew. Sebastian had skied over there last month.
‘So what did everyone think of the book?’ Faye took control, otherwise they were in danger of chatting way into the night before they even mentioned books.
Their latest read was Where the Crawdads Sing and this time everyone had finished it.
They didn’t always – Margot usually did, so did Howard and Sarah, but Faye was sometimes too busy with her job and Joel rarely got to the end of a book before the discussion.
They’d pondered doing this only once a fortnight so everyone had a chance to read a full book, but to Margot’s relief even those who didn’t make it every week wanted it to continue the way it was.
‘More chance of me making it then,’ Sarah had said.
‘I galloped through this one,’ Howard enthused.
‘I finished but it was a heavy read,’ said Margot.
Sarah hadn’t warmed to the story at all, and Joel had only liked it in parts.
Another Midnight Book Club had begun, and Margot had an hour of escape before she would have to slip back into bed, alongside the man she’d met one chilly January night, the man who had subtly changed over time.
He wasn’t abusive. He provided and then some, but emotionally he was closed off.
And perhaps worst of all, he didn’t see her as anything other than his wife.
And he probably never would.