Chapter 16
MARGOT
Margot took a seat in the Georgian-style tearooms to wait for Faye. It had a charming wooden interior and was hidden away on a side street just along from the bakery. Despite the onslaught of rain overnight, the sun had come out again.
Alistair had come to visit her. At first she’d not wanted him to disrupt his routine and his hard work, but when she saw him she realised how much she’d needed to see his face.
They’d got Sebastian on FaceTime too and even though nothing had really changed since they last spoke, it made Margot feel as if things were going to be okay.
She’d thanked them both again for the money and despite her anxiety at how she was quite going to do it, she assured them that she would be paying every single penny of it back.
She felt a camaraderie between them that they’d likely always had but one that was coming to the fore now she’d left Perry.
Margot popped a napkin under one of the legs of the table, on top of a questionably levelled floor with flagstone tiles, and when she looked up again Faye had arrived.
They hugged each other hello and with the waitress so attentive immediately ordered scones with jam and cream plus tea.
‘How’s work going?’ Margot asked Faye. No matter that she’d done enough cleaning in the house near Ascot to last her a lifetime, she still envied Faye.
The world of work felt alien to Margot, but she longed to do something useful, earn her own money, be able to support herself.
She had to believe that she would, eventually.
‘I’ve had some extra vans to clean and I’m a bit knackered, but it’s all good.’
‘I don’t suppose they need any more help there, do they?’ She might as well ask. She had experience after all.
‘I’m not sure. I’m only filling in and the regular people are back today. I’ll ask though.’ Faye poured them both a glass of water from the carafe on the table. ‘Do you work back near your home?’
‘No, I’ve been a housewife for a very long time.’
‘So you do work, just not outside the home.’
Margot liked that distinction.
Thankfully Faye didn’t focus on Margot and her life because she leapt onto another topic. ‘So… the bookshop, open again. How about that?’
Faye had sent her a WhatsApp message to say that Driftwick Bay Books had reopened. ‘It’s a good thing,’ said Margot. ‘I’ll have to go inside and see it for myself.’
‘I think Howard would be glad it’s open again, even if the hours are limited.’ She sighed. ‘It’s such a shame that the three of us never got to meet.’
‘I know. It would’ve been incredible.’
‘I went to knock at the cottage again earlier,’ said Faye. ‘And this time I saw Bonnie.’
‘You did? How is she?’
‘She’s okay. But she didn’t talk much, and it felt like she couldn’t wait to get rid of me.’
‘That’s a shame. But I suppose Howard always said she loved her own company.’
‘He also said how bubbly she was.’
Faye had a point. ‘He’d hate that she’s struggling,’ said Margot. ‘But it’s early days.’
‘Maybe. But then there’s your own company some of the time – which is great, don’t get me wrong – but if it goes on for too long, it can be a bad thing. It really can affect you. You know, mentally.’
The waitress brought over their scones and mini pots of jam and cream. ‘Jam first?’ Margot asked.
Faye laughed. ‘Is there any other way?’
Margot smeared a generous helping of jam on top of one warm half of scone.
‘Howard would never have wanted Bonnie to close herself off from the world. Remember when Sarah lost her sister earlier this year and she came to the Midnight Book Club and admitted that she hadn’t left the house in three weeks?
’ Sarah hadn’t told them for three weeks either; she’d just shown up at book club as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
‘It all burst out of her that day, didn’t it,’ said Faye.
‘I’ll never forget it.’ One minute they’d been talking about Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman and the next thing they knew the rectangle on the screen with Sarah’s face showed a woman in turmoil.
Her sister had been a retail salesperson in her younger years and the title had been what set her off.
Sarah told them all that she’d been holding it together because she wanted to feel normal again, but she’d asked how that was ever possible with such a devastating loss.
‘It will be hard for a while,’ Howard had said.
‘You will go on,’ he’d told her. ‘You will find a new sense of normality.’ He’d admitted then that he would be lost without his Bonnie and made them all laugh when he said she’d probably be fine without him as she was the organised one, paying the bills, sorting out what meals they ate, dealing with all the admin that came with a house.
Margot dolloped cream on top of the jam on her second half of scone with big juicy sultanas bursting out of its surface. ‘Do you ever hear from any of the members who dropped out of your book club so suddenly?’
‘No, never.’
‘It was like we’d had a hex put on us or something.’ Margot was laughing but Faye wasn’t.
Faye didn’t remark on the people she’d brought to the group, people she knew personally. ‘We’re a smaller group now than we were, but you and Howard were the two who were the most reliable.’
‘I feel I should get a gold star or something.’
Faye grinned. ‘I’ll think about it.’ And then she changed the topic. ‘Now, about Bonnie. Iris at the bookshop said it’s hard to get her to talk when she goes up there to the cottage to check on her. So it isn’t just me.’
‘That’s kind of reassuring to know.’
Faye picked up the last morsel of her scone smothered in jam and cream and, after she popped it into her mouth, got back to the pressing issue. ‘It’s one thing not being very welcoming to me, or to us – we are strangers after all – but Iris knows her.’
‘When you put it like that it does sound very odd.’
‘Maybe she’s not managing at all. I don’t want to poke my nose in, but…’
Margot paused thoughtfully. ‘Howard wouldn’t want her to hide away from the rest of the world.’
‘I don’t think he would either.’
‘What about you?’ Margot asked, because ever since Faye told her about the broken engagement, their focus had been on Bonnie, and she hadn’t asked how Faye was doing. ‘How are things?’
‘After being dumped, you mean?’
‘Sorry, should I have avoided bringing it up?’
‘No, don’t apologise. I’m actually doing all right. It helps being here, away from Queensland, away from my apartment and work, and the places we used to go together.’
‘I think you were right to come.’
‘Yeah.’
When you were with someone you were in a routine, even if it wasn’t an official routine. Your life revolved around them and if you were lucky theirs might revolve around you just a bit too. ‘It’s not very nice for you at the moment, but it’s far better to split up now than further down the line.’
Margot wanted to ask whether there was more to the story of the broken engagement than Faye had previously let on, but she didn’t feel it was her place. They didn’t know each other that well; they were linked by books and by the brief conversations they’d had, and she didn’t want to pry.
Rather than dwelling on relationship talk, which Margot had no desire to ignite either, Margot got Faye talking about Australia. Other countries fascinated her; they always had.
‘I’ve never been to Australia,’ said Margot. ‘I always wanted to travel. I almost did a degree that would’ve taken me to America for a year.’
‘That would’ve been an awesome experience.’
Margot smiled at the sound of Faye’s Australian accent when she was enthusiastic about something. ‘Awesome. Yes, I think it would have been.’
‘So how come you never did it?’
‘I got pregnant instead.’
Faye tilted her head to one side. ‘Do you regret it? Not the babies, but not doing the degree?’
‘Yes and no. No, not at the time. But yes, perhaps lately I’ve been thinking about it more.’
‘Would you go back and study? Or study from home?’
She hesitated. ‘I thought about it.’ But Perry had dismissed it of course. She’d let herself be bullied for far too long and she hated herself a little bit for it.
‘You should do, if that’s what you want.’
‘Maybe…’ Although really she needed something a lot more immediate; she needed to earn money. She had the funds from the boys but hated the fact she’d taken them in the first place. The sooner she was bringing some money in the better.
Faye leaned to the side as the waitress took away their empty plates and then she poured them both another cup of tea from the teapot. ‘Your husband would support the idea, wouldn’t he?’
‘My husband wasn’t keen at all when I mentioned it.’
‘The husband who isn’t holidaying with you.’ She set the teapot down.
Margot, in the presence of a friend for the first time in far too long, found it all tumbling out. ‘I’m not just on a holiday,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve left my husband. My marriage of almost thirty years is over.’ It felt surprisingly good to unburden herself to a friend at last.
‘Margot, I…’
‘It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but you know, it kind of is.’
She explained some of the moments that had led her here – Perry’s obsession with work and being the best, the way he was with their boys, seeing them as not achieving their full potential and the light that dimmed in their eyes every time they faced their father’s scrutiny and disapproval.
She told Faye about her life since she’d given up her degree – the homemaker she was, the mother, the entertainer when it came to Perry’s business associates, how she felt no warmth in the house when the boys weren’t there, how Perry didn’t show love or affection any more, how he criticised her and made her feel like she’d never make it on her own.
And she told Faye that slowly her friends had fallen away one by one.
‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, Margot.’
‘It’s why I joined the Midnight Book Club. It was at a time I knew Perry would be asleep and I could sneak off. It was something just for me.’
‘I’m glad you got that.’
‘Honestly, things have been the same way for such a long time that it became my normal. And it was always about family for me. It was always about my boys. I couldn’t bear them getting hurt in all of this, and so I put up with the way things were.
My sons were my saviour in the toughest of times.
Even if they weren’t with me, they were in the background. Without them…’
‘Are they the reason you never left?’
She nodded. ‘I never wanted to break up the family, and I didn’t think I could manage on my own.
Perry took my confidence along with everything else.
’ Perhaps it was better that she didn’t know Faye all that well.
It was more like telling a neutral party.
Maybe this was what therapy was like, confessing all your secrets, having them pouring out just like the tea from the teapot on the table.
‘What changed?’ Faye asked.
‘You know, despite so many years falling into the place where Perry wanted me, I think I changed.’
‘Have you spoken to your husband?’
She shook her head. ‘I blocked his number. He’s emailed but I haven’t written back. It’s almost worse that he’s gone quiet. I don’t know what his next move will be.’
As the tearooms were getting busy, they went Dutch to pay their bill and left. Margot put on her chunky knit cardigan and as they stepped outside they went back to the main street and the hill that passed through Driftwick Bay.
Faye zipped up her hoodie. ‘Is this why you were asking about a cleaning job?’
‘It is. I’ve got some money set by, but I need a plan for the longer term.’
‘How long will the money last you for?’
‘Not long enough.’ They stopped on the street corner, Lulworth Cove to the right in the distance, the hill leading up and out of the bay on their left.
‘And I’m worried to tell you the truth. Faye, I’m trained for nothing.
I haven’t had a job since I worked in a shop when I was nineteen.
I’m trawling through online listings every day and I’ve applied for a couple of things – waitress jobs – but so far no joy.
And I’m looking for a rental property too.
’ Now she had the money from the boys she’d be able to pay for six months to a year up front to give her some stability.
‘Have you filed for divorce?’ Faye asked.
‘No, not yet.’
‘I don’t know much about it, given I didn’t even make it to the altar, but going by things I’ve heard in the hairdressing salon from other couples in the same boat, I’d get in touch with a solicitor as soon as possible.
You need to make sure you get a fair split of the assets.
Just because you didn’t work outside the home, it doesn’t mean he can take everything.
You looked after the house; you raised your kids. ’
‘You’re very wise for someone in her twenties.’ She grinned. ‘I keep thinking you’re really young, but you’re not; I’m just getting older.’
Faye laughed. ‘You’ve got years ahead of you yet.’
Margot was worried about the cost and voiced her concern. ‘I’ll bet solicitors are hideously expensive.’
‘Cheaper than your husband taking everything and leaving you with nothing,’ said Faye.
‘You know what, you’re right.’ She looked down the hill. ‘I’m desperate to go and see the bookshop but first, should we try Bonnie again?’
‘Good idea.’
They walked up the hill and were soon outside the gorgeous little cottage but it took a few knocks before Bonnie opened the door, and even then it was only a crack.
Faye, a brilliant smile on her face, launched in with, ‘Hey, Bonnie. It’s me… Faye again. Howard’s friend from the Midnight Book Club.’
‘And I’m Margot,’ Margot quickly added in a jolly voice that even to her sounded like a teacher trying to cajole her class into showing enthusiasm in a subject they all hated.
‘Well, I’m afraid I’m just about to pop out.’ Bonnie opened the door a little more. She lifted her handbag up from the floor as if to prove her claim. ‘I can’t stop.’
Had Faye noticed the slippers too? If Bonnie really was going out, she wouldn’t still be wearing those surely.
‘Shall we come back another time?’ Margot suggested.
Bonnie looked surprised at the question. ‘Yes, yes, do that. Now I’d better get going.’
Margot and Faye left her to it and Margot closed the little gate behind them. Bonnie was still lingering at the door and Margot gave her a nod.
They turned to head down the hill in the direction of the bookshop.
‘I really don’t think she’s going anywhere,’ said Margot to Faye. ‘Do you?’
‘No, I really don’t.’