Chapter 19 #2
‘I feel like Perry took away a part of me,’ Margot shared and both women looked at her with a sympathy she wasn’t always sure she would get.
It sounded so dramatic. But perhaps for too long she’d thought of it that way, when really it was just the truth.
‘I was a wife and mother and those roles were incredibly important to me, but the way Perry treated me, it overshadowed everything else. I stopped joining in with things unless Perry was there; I never went away on my own unless it was to see my mother with the boys; Perry put an end to the tennis club; he made friends feel so uneasy when they visited that they stopped altogether. I didn’t go back to work or carry on with study.
There was always a reason not to – his job, his business clients, the boys – and now I’m trained for nothing.
I am going to need to work to support myself but who would take me on?
And… I really hate admitting this, but I’ve borrowed money from my boys to help me do this. ’
‘And that is okay,’ said Bonnie, without hesitation. ‘You sound as if you’re very close to them both.’
‘I am. I’m lucky.’ She put her head in her hands.
‘I need to find work soon. But there’s nothing suitable and I’ve had a few rejections already.
’ Her eyes filled with tears she wouldn’t shed, but the emotion behind them caught her by surprise.
‘What if my money runs out before I find something? What if I have to go back to Berkshire? Oh, I’m so silly. I didn’t think this through.’
‘Go back and let that man convince you you’re not good enough?’ Bonnie said firmly. ‘I think Faye would agree that we can’t possibly let you do that.’
Margot wondered whether she would have much choice in the end, but she appreciated Bonnie’s encouragement. ‘Howard knew, you know.’
‘About Perry?’
Margot nodded. ‘It was his voice in my head that finally gave me the ability to see that this is my life, nobody else’s, and somehow I managed to walk away. I just wish I’d made a better plan, perhaps found work first.’
‘And what do you think Perry would’ve done if you had tried?’ Faye asked.
‘Probably sabotaged my efforts.’
‘It must be terrifying,’ said Bonnie. ‘But you can do this. All of it. Finding a job, going through a divorce, moving forwards.’
‘She’s right,’ said Faye. ‘It’s all out there for the taking, although putting it that way makes it sound far too simple.’
‘I appreciate the vote of confidence from you both. I honestly do. It means a lot to me.’ Margot felt her face flush, her emotions heightened at the kindness of women she barely knew really.
Faye brightened the conversation. ‘So, job wise, do you have any idea of what you’d like to do? You didn’t like my suggestion of teaching?’
‘I don’t think that’s really me.’ And Faye had asked about any more cleaning work at the caravan park but unfortunately they didn’t need any more help.
‘Then what is your thing?’ Bonnie asked.
She’d given it a bit of thought on and off and last night she’d begun to investigate online. ‘Promise me you won’t laugh…’
‘Spit it out,’ Bonnie urged.
‘Come on,’ said Faye.
‘I’m considering looking for jobs as a flight attendant.’
‘Cabin crew?’ Faye asked. ‘That’s great.’
She looked at both women. ‘Do you really think so?’
Bonnie was grinning. ‘If you want to do it, then I say go for it. What appeals to you about the job?’
And it all came out, her enthusiasm lacing the words: ‘I would be a part of a team – I would be doing something totally different. I was trawling through article after article about older women entering or returning to the workforce, losing hope, until I read an article about a lady in her late fifties who’d got her first job as part of the cabin crew.
It jumped out at me; it got me excited. I’d be meeting new people from different countries; I’d visit far-off places.
I’m not silly. I know I might not get to see a lot of the places we stop at, but just being there and having a better sense of the world really appeals to me.
And let’s face it, I’d be good at serving on board.
I’m used to doing that, and I’ll probably get a lot more thanks from passengers than I ever did from Perry. ’
‘Then what are you waiting for?’ Bonnie encouraged.
Margot had more confidence than she’d thought possible. ‘Okay, I’ll go for it. Maybe start applying.’
‘Do it,’ said Faye.
Margot thought Bonnie had so much more colour in her cheeks these days.
It was hard to marry her with the woman who’d answered the door that first time Margot had come to the cottage when Bonnie wanted to get rid of them as soon as possible.
Was there something more out there for her too? ‘What about you, Bonnie?’
‘What about me?’
‘Howard said he thought you might miss working?’
‘He said that?’
‘He did,’ said Faye. ‘He told us that you loved the travel, the time you got to spend together, but that you were a bit lost. Do you really miss being a district nurse?’
‘He said you were brilliant at it by the way,’ Margot put in. She loved that they could bring new snippets to Bonnie about the man she’d adored.
‘I do miss it, yes. But I retired.’
‘And…?’ Faye prompted.
Bonnie harrumphed. ‘People don’t un-retire.’
‘If they miss what they once did, then of course they do,’ said Margot. ‘And Howard un-retired by taking on the bookshop.’
‘That’s a point.’
‘You’ve got nothing to lose by looking into it,’ said Faye.
‘Oh, I’m too old now.’
‘You travelled very recently,’ Margot reminded her. ‘We’ve seen the evidence. All your photos show us how active you are. You’re in your sixties, you have a lot of years left, and if you miss working, go back to it. Take it from me, missed opportunities aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.’
‘I’ll think about it.’ Bonnie smiled slightly. ‘You two are very persuasive. Sometimes I would swear Howard asked you to watch out for me.’
It did feel a bit that way and when they left the thought had Margot saying, ‘We’ll pop in tomorrow, if that’s all right?’
And Bonnie replied, ‘Any time. I would love to see you both.’