Chapter 19
‘Cath, I’ve just had a text … from Sophie.’ Will sounded stressed. ‘Her exam’s done, and she’s only gone and jumped on a train all excited, and is on her way home.’
‘Oh, shit, that’s going to be tricky, isn’t it?’
‘Don’t I damn well know it.’
‘At least her exam is finished. That was your big concern.’
‘But I didn’t want to have to tell her like this … And what about Maddie? It’s not right to tell one without the other. I’d wanted to do it in person. Both at the same time. It’ll be a big deal for them.’
‘Yeah, I can see that. Ring Maddie now. Ask her to come up. I don’t think she was working today, was she?’
‘No …’ His voice trailed with the sudden enormity of it all.
All the planning, all the secrecy was about to be blown apart. But he couldn’t exactly lie anymore when his hospital bag was packed and he was going to be off first thing in the morning, Cath realised. The time had come for the truth.
‘Okay, I’ll ring Maddie,’ he conceded. ‘Tell her it’s something important …’
‘Umm, I was coming around to yours anyway after my lesson. Shall I make supper for us all? Would you still like me to be there?’ Their earlier plan of a simple stress-free evening pre-op, had evidently been shattered.
And she’d so wanted to make everything pleasant and comfortable for him, being the night before his surgery.
‘Of course, and yes, it’ll be good to have your moral support. And supper, yes … thank you.’ He sounded distant, like his brain was a whirl. Poor Will. His emotions were about to get put through the sieve.
*
Cath let herself in with her spare key. Will had left for the train station twenty minutes ago, and Maddie who, thankfully was free this evening, was on her way up too; an hour’s journey.
The house seemed so very quiet. Will’s trainers in the hall, but otherwise all was neat and tidy.
The photos of Jane, of the family together, smiling at her from the walls.
Cath stood for a second to look. The family unit they had all been …
on the beach, on holiday, the snaps that held those precious happy moments in time.
And then, they had all been put through so much, Cath’s heart felt a sharp pang.
Life and death, love and loss, what a curious, rollercoaster journey we were all on …
Cath gathered herself, with a gentle sigh, and headed for the kitchen.
The place she felt most comfortable, especially in difficult times.
She’d cook for them all, with love. Armed with her basket of ingredients for a chicken and mushroom risotto, plus some fresh sourdough bread bought from the lads’ shop earlier today.
Comfort food at its best. They’d surely need it.
*
She was ladling in another spoon of stock, and stirring the rice dish, when she heard footsteps outside, and chatter as the front door opened.
So, this was it, Sophie’s arrival. Cath took a breath.
Her relationship with Will’s youngest could be tricky at the best of times.
It was an awkward one emotionally, a new woman coming into her father’s life after such trauma for them all. But they were both working on it.
Cath took the pan off the heat and headed into the hall with the wooden spoon still to hand, saying a cheery, ‘Hi, Sophie.’
‘Hey, Cath. Hi. Ahm, something smells good.’ Sophie gave a cautious smile. It must have been strange for her seeing someone else in her mum’s place, cooking.
‘Yep, I’m cooking a risotto for us all.’ Cath tried to sound casual. But she couldn’t help but feel uneasy about was going to happen very soon, once Will broke his troubling news.
‘Nice. Oh yeah, Dad was telling me about Maddie heading up, too. That’s pretty cool.’ The poor girl was oblivious.
‘So, how was the big exam? Go okay?’ Cath asked, soldiering on with the conversation.
‘Yeah, I think so. Couple of tough questions, but I’d studied hard on the corporate law stuff, which can trip you up, so I was happy with that part. Fingers crossed.’
‘Well, I’m sure you’ll have done well. You’ve done your best at least, and that’s all you can do.’
‘Here, let me take your bag up to your room,’ said Will, squeezing himself past them, and, Cath noted, looking slightly anxious.
‘Thanks, Dad. Yeah,’ Sophie resumed, ‘an end-of-term ball to head back for, and that’s me done for the summer. Though we’ve still got the let ongoing in York, so I’ll probably to and fro for a bit.’
And with Will recovering from surgery, what a different summer it was going to be for them all, mused Cath.
*
It was only fifteen minutes later when Maddie arrived. Dumping her bag and coat in a heap in the hallway, she fell into a welcome hug with her dad. She pulled away with a grin, just as Cath came through to say hello.
‘Hey you, Mr I’m Too Busy. All of a sudden, I’ve got to drop everything and come up right away, tonight. So, what’s all this about?’ Maddie, ever forthright, was straight in there.
Will’s face dropped a little. ‘Umm, let’s eat first. Cath’s been busy making us all a lovely risotto, haven’t you,’ announced Will with forced joviality.
Cath had been grateful for something to focus on; chopping the onions, the chicken breast, and preparing dried and fresh mushrooms. Once the Arborio rice was in, it had needed stirring and checking constantly, and now the rice was creamy and al dente as it should be.
The olive bread was now warmed through, too.
Cath was relieved to find, that despite her nerves, she could still cook on autopilot.
Earlier today, she’d imagined it was going to be just the two of them.
A casual cosy supper together, the night before surgery, the last food allowed before his op; not the easiest of evenings for them, but she’d hoped for a quiet and peaceful pre-op.
They might have talked, or tried to watch something easy-going on the telly.
She’d have been there in steady support.
Would he have wanted her to stay? she’d wondered earlier on.
She wasn’t sure. It would have been the first time ever at his house, if so.
But she certainly hadn’t expected anything quite like this.
And crikey, the hardest part of this re-jigged evening was yet to come.
Sitting together around Will’s dining table, polite conversation filled the void. The food looked lovely, but Cath found she could hardly taste it. She wondered how Will was getting on opposite her. Both of them aware of the ginormous, and as yet unsaid, elephant in the room.
*
It was time. With supper now eaten – Cath wasn’t quite sure how she’d managed to stomach it, though she had purposely given herself a much smaller portion – the moment had come to tell Maddie and Sophie about Will’s illness and his imminent operation.
The girls absolutely needed to know. Yet, both Cath and Will realised how much of a shadow they were about to cast on them, dimming that new sense of hope for the future they’d been trying so hard to build together as a family.
‘Girls, there’s something I need to tell you,’ Will started.
Cath felt herself freeze for a second, holding her breath, then she gave him a gentle supportive smile.
‘Oh …’ Sophie looked up, glancing from Will to Cath.
‘I thought there was something,’ said Maddie. ‘That phone call out of the blue, and you wanting me to come up tonight.’
Will took a breath, seeming to stall. Yet, Cath felt it wasn’t her place to intervene. Not unless he specifically asked her to, anyhow.
‘Come on then, spill the beans, Dad,’ prompted Maddie. ‘Oh, hang on, you’re not getting engaged, you two …’ Her eyes flicking straight to Cath’s ring finger which was tellingly bare.
In that instant, Cath spotted Sophie’s face drop like a stone. So that wouldn’t have gone down well with his youngest, would it? But this wasn’t the time to be worrying about that sort of thing. The next piece of news was going to upset the girls far more.
It felt so tough and unfair for Will to be forced into this situation. But here they all were.
‘Okay, so there’s no easy way to say this. And I hadn’t told either of you yet because I wanted Sophie to get this exam done with no pressure, no extra worry …’
‘Dad, you’re scaring me …’ Sophie said in a hushed tone, looking pale.
‘So, I’ve got cancer. Prostate cancer.’ There, it was out.
‘Oh, shit,’ whispered Sophie.
‘Fuck,’ said Maddie.
‘It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.’ Will tried his best to reassure. ‘It’s contained. It’s Stage 2, which is good. It’s treatable. I-I …’ His eyes began to mist, as his voice cracked.
Cath felt this was now the time to step in. ‘Your dad’s going for an operation, girls. Surgery to remove the prostate and the cancer within it. Tomorrow.’
‘Tomorrow? Dad, why the fuck didn’t you say anything? How long have you known?’ Maddie sounded cross.
‘We could have helped you. Come up and seen you, supported you,’ added Sophie. ‘I’d have been okay with the exam. Dad, it’s not right that you’ve had to deal with this all by yourself.’
‘I’ve had Cath. She’s been great.’
A flicker of tight emotion – concern, that might have been laced with jealousy – crossed Sophie’s face. ‘We’re your family,’ she stated coolly, which was pointedly meant to infer that Cath wasn’t.
Cath remained calm, despite her own storm rolling inside. The risotto hit a wave of nausea. The girls were bound to feel gutted, and emotions were riding high. This was never going to be easy, after all. ‘Your dad’s just been trying to do the best for you both,’ she said gently.
Will nodded, giving a weak smile.
‘Look, we need to all work together on this. Be a team for your dad now,’ Cath continued, sensitively taking the lead.
‘He’s got a big operation tomorrow, and it’s likely to take weeks before he feels himself again.
But listen, in the long run, the prognosis is very positive.
The consultant has reassured us of that.
’ She wanted to set the girls’ minds at rest that this was a very different journey than the dreadful one they’d been on with their mother.
‘Oh, Dad.’ Sophie got up and moved over to him to give him a big hug. Maddie was soon there with them, too. The three of them, in a huddle.
This was the key, Cath suddenly understood, watching them cling on to each other.
Her role was to keep reminding them all of the things to look forward to, whilst soldiering on through this together.
She would be there, supporting this precious family that she so wanted to become an integral part of in time, through Will’s treatment.
Keeping that sense of hope alive, and loud and clear throughout, that would be Cath’s mission in helping them all.
And providing a tasty supper or two, of course.
‘I’ll just go and put the kettle on for us all,’ she said softly. Giving them a little more space to process this news.
*
They were standing together on Will’s doorstep, in the fading light.
Time to get home, Cath thought, feeling such a reluctance to leave.
She looked up at him. This man whom she’d fallen in love with all over again, since that very first time, way back in their teens.
Her heart felt so tender, it almost hurt.
She’d so wanted to stay over with Will this evening, to be there in support …
But everything had changed with that call from Sophie.
And now, the pair of them needed some rest, before the big day tomorrow, though she wasn’t sure how likely rest was for any of them.
She had a feeling that sleep might prove elusive.
Cath was still on to collect Will at 6.15 a.m., ready to take him to the hospital for the appointed 7.
30 a.m. arrival time. Though Maddie had offered to drive him there, he’d insisted it was Cath who’d take him.
After that, they weren’t quite sure what time his surgery might be; it depended where he fell on the surgeon’s list, apparently.
‘I’m sorry, I hoped you might stay tonight,’ said Will, his voice hushed.
‘Me, too,’ admitted Cath. ‘It’s okay. I understand things have changed.
It doesn’t seem right now, does it.’ Understatement of the year, that’d feel like stirring a hornet’s nest with Sophie and Maddie home, to be honest. ‘But the girls needed to know. That’s done now.
It’s a big day tomorrow, and then we can all move on.
Onwards and upwards, hey.’ She forced an encouraging smile.
‘Yeah, hopefully.’
‘I’ll be there for you, Will. Whatever you need …’ Her throat felt tight with emotion.
‘Come here.’ And he folded her into his arms in a warm and loving embrace. They held on extra tight and extra long. Squeezing every second out of it.
Will’s world had already changed with this diagnosis. But tomorrow felt pivotal, and so significant. How the surgery went could affect the rest of his life; all of his tomorrows …
‘I love you, Mr Matthewson. And don’t you forget that.’ Saying those words felt easier now.
‘Love you, too, Ms Taylor.’ And in the midst of so much angst, somehow, he managed to make that sound a little bit naughty.
Cath went in for a second hug, pulling away reluctantly to say, ‘Sweet dreams. Take care. And I’ll see you in the morning, 6.15 sharp.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’