28. Harmony
CHAPTER 28
Harmony
T he next morning, Mom breezes in with my favorite muffins from Amanda and doughnuts my baker sent for Gibs and the guys, who are all sitting on my living room floor, jamming and songwriting.
“I thought you and Aunt Ari were working at The SeaSong today?” I’d be concerned but, honestly, I don’t really care if it’s open or not right now. I’ve been told it’s been insanely busy—something I should be proud of but I’m not. The people of this town are gossips, or lookie-loos as Gibson calls them, and are just trying to get a glimpse of Port Haven’s newest criminal—me.
“We thought so, too. You’ll never believe this, but your dad, Sammy, Cal, and Mav are working today.”
“No! They are?” I chuckle and pull the muffin top off, setting it to the side, and commence in eating the bottom first, leaving the best part for last.
Mom pulls out her phone and sits next to me so I can see my band family smiling, wearing SeaSong pink aprons while serving customers in my café. Part of me thinks I should be there, witnessing this with my own eyes, but then again, why? I’m just going to leave it, anyway.
I don’t have it in me to tell her that I’m seriously considering selling it to Toby—aka Book Asshole in her mind and everyone else’s in the family now. He can do with it what he pleases, whether that’s expanding his bookstore or something different.
She scrolls through the picture of the line and it’s freaking crazy. So crazy that Aiden left his post here to help the local cops with crowd control. I guess everyone knows now that I am the daughter of a rock star. Not that it will matter.
As long as it’s a fair price, I’ll sell to Toby and leave Port Haven behind forever. Maybe once I’ve paid my parents back, I can consider another café in the Southland once the baby is in school and I have more time.
“It was Sammy’s idea. I think he’s still working to keep your dad’s mind off what happened to you with the police. It’s still really bothering him. He told James last night that he wants to press charges against the arresting officer who pushed you, as well as Book Asshole.”
“What did James say?”
“He told Killian only you can press those kinds of charges, and that he hasn’t had a chance to speak with you about it because your doctor advised him to let you rest for a few days before possibly stressing you out. So, James will be by to talk to you sometime today, I think.”
“Will you be there?”
Please Mom, I beg in my head. Please be the helicopter parent you’ve been recently and take over and get me through this so I can go home.
“If you want me to be there then absolutely, yes, I’ll be there for you.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“I need you there.” I want my mom with me. I need her support, and since she’s here and wanting to be with me, I’ll take it and cling to it. I’m still exhausted, and having my mom with me when I talk to James will help me stay focused.
Mom looks me over, something she’s done since I was a child. She may not have given birth to me, but if someone didn’t know that about us, they wouldn’t be able to tell. She’s treated me as her own since I came into their home wheeling my brand-new pink suitcase behind me.
I know she sees my exhaustion and my lack of care for the café. Both of which concern her. It’s in the way the area between her nose and forehead creases when she watches me. It’s in the way she’s been more observant when she’s with me. How she’s not pressuring me for information or telling me what I should do when it comes to pressing charges.
“Why don’t you take a little nap, hon. You’ve been through a lot.” I allow her to lead me to my bedroom and she tucks me in like she used to.
I wake disoriented and startled, almost like I fell in my dreams, but I don’t remember anything. Shadows from the trees around the property shift in the light coming through my room. And then I hear what woke me up.
“Enough of this coddling me shit, Sam! I’m a fucking adult, and I need to have a chat with that police officer. And especially with Book Asshole. And I won’t be nice like my twin and Mav. I’ll talk to him with my fucking fists and maybe my boots, too.” Dad. With the emphasis on his last sentence, I can tell he’s fuming. I pull my knees up to my chest and sit on my bed, rocking myself and nug. A huge part of me wants to run out there and just hug my dad. But he’s angry and I get that it’s not at me but for me. I remember what Mom said earlier about how now is not the time for him to find out I’m pregnant and rock a little harder.
“You’ll wake her.” My mom’s loud whisper carries in my small apartment. “That girl is exhausted. Plus, she’s already worried you’re upset with her.” My mom says something else that I can’t make out.
“Fuck!” He shouts and something crashes, a breaking glass or bottle maybe.
“Babe,” my mom pleads, yet her voice is calm and reasonable. I envision her reaching out to touch his arm or face the way she does to ground him with her physicality.
There’s another voice. Sammy? Maybe Uncle Cal? It’s low and I can’t hear what’s being said. Then the door slams, causing me to jump. He’s left. Again. I feel his absence in my heart. The apartment grows quiet.
My door opens a bit later.
“Hey, sweetie. Did you get some sleep at least?” My mom sits gingerly on the edge of my bed, being careful not to jostle me. She’s being so gentle with me, like I’m made of glass.
“Better, yes.”
“Did you take anything for the pain?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t want to with the baby and all.” Instinctually, I rub my belly. “The doctor said it was safe if I followed the directions on the bottle, but I try not to take anything, not even acetaminophen. I’m less sore as each day passes, and I did sleep pretty well just now.” She runs her hand over my leg.
“He left again without seeing me.” I don’t have to tell her I’m talking about Dad.
“It’s not you, Harm. I promise. Your dad is so full of anger, he doesn’t know what to do with it. He knows what he wants to do with it. But he doesn't want to make things worse.”
Later that afternoon, Mom holds my hand while I speak with James in my living room, the sounds of Gibson’s band playing in the yard wafting through my cracked windows. I’m surrounded by my family and their love and realize just how much I’ve missed having them around. They act as a buffer to a world where cops slam pregnant women against cars.
I decide to press charges against the officer who slammed me against the vehicle, after all. James doesn’t advise anything against Toby unless the county decides to follow through charging me. Toby had nothing to do with the treatment I received from the police, so I don’t want to pursue anything with him—despite what my dad may think.
I told James I should have called the police when I saw Mrs. Kelleher and not taken her to the beach like she asked. James advised that if the district attorney continues with their charges and the case goes to court that I shouldn’t admit that.
I don’t tell James about the possible offer from Toby. I’ll cross that bridge when I have the paperwork to show him. It may be that Toby is trying to take advantage of my willingness to sell. I’m having trouble judging things when it comes to him. I trust that James will have my best interest in mind when the time comes.
“Thanks for staying with me to talk to James. For everything.” Mom squeezes my hand but says nothing. She let me do all the talking when James was here. She’s purposely taken a step back, and I don’t understand why. Having her near me is what I’ve needed most all these months I’ve been up here. God, I’ve missed my parents, Gibs and his band, and even all the little Rebel kids, both family and not.
“When I was in jail, I had a lot of time to think. I want to come home, Mom. I can’t and shouldn’t do this alone.” I don’t meet her eyes. My bottom lip starts to quiver because they invested so much into my café, into me. It’s their money, their work wrapped up here. It’s my mom’s paintings all over the walls of The SeaSong. My dad and brother are who fixed the kitchen so it’d meet the necessary codes needed to open.
I’ve become the disappointment I didn’t want to be—mostly to myself. “I’m sorry. I’ll get a job as soon as we get back and pay you both back every penny we don’t get out of the sale. For your work and the equipment and the kitchen and the murals and…”
She opens her mouth to say something, but Fender busts in through the front door, a huge grin on his face. “Guess what?!” He bounces on the balls of his Van-clad feet, looking back and forth between us. He’s about to bust, that much is obvious.
“Fender, your sister and I?—”
“This is way more exciting! Dad and I just bought a freaking house!” His grin grows wider, but I’m having trouble comprehending what he just said.
“You what?!” Mom and I say in unison.
“We bought a house. It’s got a huge backyard that overlooks the ocean on a cliff. It’s almost like a treehouse in the mountains but with an ocean view! It’s uber cool. I can go snowboarding and stuff in the winter. Dad says we’d keep the house in the Palisades and go back and forth.”
Dad steps into my apartment and puts his hand on Fender’s shoulder. I tug down Uncle Cal’s sweatshirt that I threw on when I left my bedroom to chat with James. “You were supposed to wait for me, Fend.” He looks at us, and the corners of his mouth pull up. “Um, surprise?”
“You bought a house?” Mom looks at Dad like he’s sprouted a second head and Dad nods, trying to figure out if she’s shocked or mad at him. “You just up and bought a freaking house? Without even asking me?”
“We’ve been talking about getting a place up here since Harm decided this is where she’d land. We wouldn’t stay up here year-round or anything. But we could come up here whenever we wanted to visit Harm without having to stay at the inn or with her. We’ll be far enough out of town that I don’t think she’ll feel like we’re hovering. You’ll love the house, Vi. It’s beautiful. You should see the view and the light in your studio.”
“Beautiful in a treehouse kind of way.” Fender nods in agreement with Dad.
“Let’s go look at it,” Dad says. “Fend, you stay here with Gibson and the guys while I take Mom and Harmony to check it out.”
“I mean, it’s a little late to look at it. You already bought it.” Mom puffs out her cheeks at him like she’s upset, but I can tell she loves that Dad did this for her.
Much like Fender described, the property is on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean about thirty minutes outside of Port Haven. The house sits among tall evergreens that make it seem like a treehouse. Floor-to-ceiling windows look out into the tree-riddled yard with glimpses of the shimmery ocean just beyond. There’s a huge deck and outdoor kitchen for entertaining. My dad already picked out the best room to be Mom’s studio and another for his music room. There’s enough space to host most of the Rebel families at the same time. I watch my Mom fall in love with the house as we walk through it, and it makes me sad knowing I don’t want to be in this town any longer.
“You know, babe,” my dad says, pulling her into a hug. “We are the only ones who don’t have a second home. Sammy has his house in Key West. Cal has his place in Tahoe. Mav has his place in Vegas.”
My mom’s lip quivers. “It’s perfect.” She hugs my dad around the waist, and he pulls her into him tight. They know each other so well. You’d never know my mom was eleven years older than my dad. I watch him hug her and think about how I want a love like that. A love that lasts.
I leave them in the room that will be their bedroom and wander back downstairs into the great room that overlooks the backyard. Fender will love this place. There is lots of room to run around and get lost in. And plenty of nooks and crannies for his baby fish.
My dad no doubt dropped a huge amount of money to buy this place, all to be closer to me when all I want is to go back to Southern California and be far, far away from here. Now what the hell am I supposed to do?
I jump slightly when my dad puts his hand on my shoulder and pulls me into a side hug. “I’ve missed you, kiddo. Fend’s missed you, too. But your mom’s missed you the most. She’s different when you’re so far away.” He squeezes me into his side again, and I can sense that he gets my inner turmoil, even if he doesn’t know exactly what it’s about. “Please, don’t be upset. I’m not trying to get into your business. I purposely looked for something this far from town so we were a bit removed from Port Haven.”
“I’m not upset. It’s just…” I sigh. How do I tell my dad that I don’t want to be in Port Haven anymore? That I don’t want to be in a place where the police don’t believe you? Where the business next door tries to vilify yours just because he wants your property? Where ex-boyfriends Venmo you and tell you you’re on your own when it comes to the baby you’re carrying? His baby. My baby.
At the thought of the nug, I get that weird bubbly feeling again. I’m not sure, but I think it’s her moving around in there. Making herself at home.
My parents shielded my brother and me from the public eye and the harshness of the world. My college friends made merciless fun of me because of my na?veté. And now I’d give anything to get that innocence back. The world is not a good place, and Port Haven is not the place I thought it was when I was a starry-eyed kid, escaping from the hustle of Southern California.
When I don’t answer my dad, he moves away from me and opens a door to the backyard. “I want to show you something. Let’s take a little walk.” He hooks his head toward the yard, and I follow him out the door.
We walk side-by-side in silence on a path that winds through some of the trees. There is so much I want to tell my dad and yet I can’t seem to say the words. I don’t want to watch him try to be the good parent he always has been when I finally disappoint him. It was only a matter of time.
“I know it’s been hard for you here, especially lately. I know you, Harm. We are forever connected.” He picks up my hand as we walk, reminding me of the pond in Montana where I first met him. Where we fed the ducks and I felt that connection to him for the very first time.
“Last night, I dreamt we went home as a family. Back to the Palisades. All four of us. But it felt wrong the whole dream, and I kept trying to get you to come back here. When I woke up, my heart was heavy.” He squeezes my hand.
“I don’t want you to give up on your dream because life got a little hard, Harm. What kind of dad would I be if I let you do that? Not a very good one.” Dad’s voice is rough and emotional. He’s always claimed he’s not good with emotions and that music is an outlet for him to express himself. He’s better at sharing how he feels than he thinks.
“I don’t love what happened to you here. I don’t love that I wasn’t here to protect you, guide you, help you. It was all I could do to not to play the rock star card and throw money at the police to get you out as soon as possible. You are my daughter, and I love you. But I wanted to let you figure out that life is hard sometimes, even when our intentions are good.”
“There are things…I haven’t told you.” My voice is as rough as his as tears choke my throat. I’m about to break my dad’s heart. He has plans for me, and I’m about to disappoint him in so many ways.
He stops and squeezes my hand in his strong one. “Dad, I want to sell The SeaSong. I want to go back to the Palisades with you, Mom, and Fend. I’ll give you and Mom all the money from the sale. I’ll get a job somewhere and pay you guys back the difference.”
“Is this because of Book Asshole?” Dad’s voice is tight, his jaw clenched.
I shake my head so vehemently my hair falls into my eyes. “It’s because I made a bad choice—a bad decision—and now I’m vilified in this town. I’m always going to be the girl who was charged with elder abuse. I just want to go home. Port Haven isn’t what I thought it was.”
Despite all I’ve said, I still can’t tell my dad about the baby I’m carrying. I’m dressed in my standard uniform these days of a baggy hoodie—Uncle Cal’s this time—but he’s obviously clueless. I remember what my mom said about it not being the time to tell him.
“Harm, you’ve always had the most tender soul of anyone I’ve ever encountered. Always helping animals and people. I’ve always done my damndest to protect that in you because it was one of the many things I cherished about you from the very beginning. I did you a disservice in the long run by doing that.” He sighs and runs his hand through his shaggy black hair, his lip ring moving as he pauses to think about his words. Much like I do with mine when I’m thinking. Weird how I’ve never noticed that before.
“You didn’t make a bad choice. Sweetheart, you gave a scared and mentally-altered woman baked goods and took her to the beach because she asked you to. You listened to her when she probably doesn’t feel very heard these days. It’s not like you let someone wander the streets alone. Don’t let this harden you. I want you to always be the girl who stops to help the stray dog find its home.
“Do you remember that day? When I picked you up from school and you saw a stray dog and made me pull over so we could find his owner? Or what about that little girl who tried nursing a baby bird back to health after her Uncle Sammy found an abandoned nest out in his yard? Or my personal favorite, the little girl who searched the ocean for mermaids from a surfboard. Don’t stop being that person, Harm, because that is you . The world needs more people with hearts like yours.” He pulls me to him and hugs me again, and I try my hardest not to let my belly press into him.
“Mermaids aren’t real.” I sniffle into his shoulder.
He pushes me back slightly so he can look into my eyes. “But aren’t they?” He cocks his head and winks at me, reminding me of when I first saw Mom in a wetsuit. I was sure she was a real-life mermaid. Dad and her never told me differently.
“This is my favorite part of this property,” my dad says as we break into a clearing with another, smaller house. “I thought, if and when you’re ready to give up your apartment, you could live here. I’m going to have a driveway put in that goes out to the main road so it would have its own entrance. It’s far enough away from the main house that you’d have total independence from us. You could always visit the main house any time, of course. I consider this a separate property for you. There’s room on the other side of the main house to build another one for Fender when he’s old enough, but this one has your name all over it.”
This house looks like a fairytale cottage in a forest clearing. It’s straight from a book. It needs a little love and work, but it does have my name written all over it.
“If you really, truly want to leave that’s not a problem. Your mom and I aren’t planning to live up here full time anyway. It’d be a true vacation home then. Fender and I can come up during the winter and shred on the snowboards. You and your mom can walk the shops like you used to as a teen. Or you can stay home in LA and do girls’ nights or whatever.”
He gives me another side hug. The house in the meadow is so tempting. So, so enticing and beautiful. I can see myself living in it and being so close to my parents and brother. Yet separate. A place of my own to be me… And then me with a baby.
“Before you decide what you want to do, promise me one thing.” I look up at Dad and his eyes sparkle, crinkling in the corners with his soft grin.
“What?” I’m slightly suspicious he’s up to something with the look in his eye. My dad’s not normally a mischievous person, so the glint has my spider senses firing off.
“Promise you won’t make your decision until after tomorrow night.”
“What’s tomorrow night?”
“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow night to find out.”
He smiles a little more earnestly this time as we walk back toward the house to get Mom.There’s a weirdness in my gut about whatever is happening tomorrow. That something is going to happen that I’m not going to like.