10. Aaron
TEN
AARON
This time, when Aaron woke up in a stranger’s bed, he was even more disoriented. Damned tequila.
In his defense, the guy he’d hooked up with, Evan, was nowhere to be found at first. Aaron had dressed quickly and started to leave when he’d found Evan in the living room, doing shirtless sit-ups.
Aaron may have lingered to watch before getting caught.
When Evan asked if he was ready for another round though, Aaron made an excuse to leave.
He’d had a great night, from what he could remember, but now that the alcohol was out of his system, he was forced to make a better decision.
Aaron entered his apartment a short time later, hoping Charlie and Aiden were still asleep.
But of course, he wasn’t that lucky.
Charlie was sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone. She looked up, and the second she saw him, her smile turned mischievous. “Good morning, sunshine. How’s that walk of shame feel?”
He rolled his eyes and flopped down onto the couch beside her. “Where’s Aid?”
“Getting some work done at the office.”
Swallowing, he nodded to himself. “Can I ask you a question?”
“What’s up?”
Running his palms down the front of his jeans, he tried to figure out how to ask without this being weird. There really wasn’t a way though. He’d been thinking about it for a while now, and last night made him more curious than ever.
“Aaron?”
This was a horrible idea. “Never mind.”
When he started to stand, she grabbed him by the arm and tugged him down once more, this time closer. “What’s going on?”
He groaned and dropped his head back onto the couch, leaning against her shoulder. He really had no one else to talk to about this. It wasn’t like he had a list of past partners to ask. “I’m just… It’s…”
“Just ask,” she said with a chuckle.
Tilting his head to look at her, he sighed and finally said, “When we were together, was I… I mean, did you…” Sitting upright, he cleared his throat. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Are you asking if you’re good in bed?” Amusement laced her tone, making him regret this entire conversation.
He tried to leave again, but she hooked an arm around his elbow.
“Don’t. I’m sorry,” she said. “Why are you asking?”
Sitting with their shoulders pushed together, her pestering him for information he didn’t particularly want to share, reminded him of how close they were growing up.
She was his best friend. And they’d dated for years.
If there was anyone he could ask these questions, it was her. For multiple reasons.
“Fine, let’s do this,” he muttered before finally glancing her way again. “I can hear you and Aid, and you’re much more… enthusiastic with him.”
Her cheeks began to redden.
“So, I’m wondering if I’m not… good.” Groaning once more, he added, “I have no one else to ask. You were my first. Well, I’d fooled around with someone before we got together, but we didn’t—” He cut himself off, waving a hand.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m trying to get out there, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m doing something wrong. ”
Charlie shook her head. “You’re not bad.”
“But?”
She gave a sympathetic smile that did not make him feel better.
“But nothing. I’m… louder with Aiden because it’s more intense, more passionate.
” She quickly put a hand on his arm. “And not because you were doing anything wrong. You and I just didn’t have the same sort of heat. It was nice and fun, but…”
“But you didn’t feel the need to rip off my clothes the second you came home.” Like she’d done with his brother several times now.
Like he’d done with Evan last night.
It had been so different than with the woman he slept with earlier in the week. With her, he’d gone through the motions, and he got off, but it wasn’t the same. There’d been no spark. Whereas last night, he’d truly felt the need to be closer to someone. He hadn’t been able to get enough.
Maybe that was just the tequila though.
“Yeah,” she whispered with a nod. She leaned into him more. “You’re not bad, Aaron. I promise.”
He still didn’t feel confident though, especially while thinking about… Darla? God, he still didn’t remember her name. Instead of going into all the details, he opened up with a partial truth. “I slept with that woman from Love Hunters.”
“That why you didn’t come home last night?”
“No, that was actually… someone else.”
Charlie’s eyes widened, as did her grin. Until she caught on to his mood. It fell slowly as she seemed to sense something was wrong.
“Last night was different. But the first woman, it was… awkward,” he admitted. “I felt like I had no idea what to do, like I was a clueless teenager again having sex for the first time.”
“Aaron,” she said, sighing as she lifted his arm to put around her shoulders so she could curl into his side. “That’s understandable.”
His brow raised. “So, it was like that for you with Aid?”
She hesitated, and he realized how different of a situation that was for them. She’d slept with the man she loved. Aaron had slept with a stranger. It wasn’t exactly comparable.
Shaking his head, he went on. “It doesn’t matter. My point is, it ended quickly, and I had a good time, but I didn’t really feel anything. And I don’t think she enjoyed it much. It seemed fake. Did you ever…”
Her silence was enough of an answer.
“Fucking hell, Charlie. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were my first and only too.” She shrugged. “It’s not like I had anything to compare it to, and I thought it was me. It wasn’t until Aiden that I realized how different I could feel.”
Aaron pulled his arm away and stood, this time not letting her stop him. He started pacing. “So, I am bad at it.”
“No,” she insisted, standing from the couch. “Sometimes, you could just be a little… selfish.”
His brow furrowed, that word stopping him in his tracks. He whirled to face her as he asked, “What do you mean? I always tried to make sure you finished too. I-I went down on you. I—”
“Yeah, but it didn’t always feel genuine.
It didn’t always feel like you wanted to, just that you thought you should or something.
I don’t know, Aaron.” She let out a huff and flapped her arms down by her sides.
“But the difference is more obvious. Aiden is always focused on me, pleasing me. My pleasure is his top priority when we’re together, and with you… the priority was yourself.”
Aaron clenched his jaw. His breathing was labored as he tried to keep his temper. Not that he was mad at her. It was himself he was struggling with right now. This was the second time this week that one of his closest friends had said he was selfish. Was he really this person?
He didn’t want to be.
One reason he’d thought he and Charlie were so good together was because of how well they got along.
They never argued or bickered; it was calm and peaceful all the time.
She was right that they hadn’t possessed the same sort of heat, but he’d thought it was nice.
Honestly, there’d been more emotion between them since leaving her at the altar than ever before.
Sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder if things had been like this, if they’d fought more, if there’d been more passion, would they have worked out? If he hadn’t been so selfish, would they still be together?
Though, if he hadn’t been selfish and insecure, they never would have dated to begin with. She would have been with Aiden from the start.
The front door opened, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. Aiden stilled and looked back and forth from Aaron to Charlie, clearly sensing the tension. He closed the front door behind him and lowered his laptop bag before walking to his fiancée. “What’s going on?”
As he wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her temple, Aaron knew the answer. No, they wouldn’t have worked out. No matter what. She and Aiden belonged together. And besides, they didn’t argue either. Yet, they still had passion when it mattered.
“Nothing,” Aaron said, silently begging Charlie not to tell his brother about their humiliating discussion.
“Char Char?” Aiden asked in a softer voice.
She smiled up at him, all traces of frustration gone in an instant. “Nothing. Just arguing over dinner. Aaron wants to get pizza again, but I wanted to try something new.”
Aiden looked confused, and like he didn’t believe her, but he didn’t push it.
Instead, he kissed her on the cheek and then started toward the hallway as he said, “Okay, well, I’m going to jump in the shower.
It was a long day that involved going out to one of the farms to observe their new goat yoga sessions. ”
“Oh, that’s what that smell is,” Aaron teased, trying to move on.
“Wait, you went to see goats without me?” Charlie shouted over them. “Were there babies?”
“They weren’t like baby baby goats,” Aiden said. When she scowled at him, he gave her a sheepish smile and came back to wrap both arms around her. “Come shower with me, and I’ll make it up to you.”
And just like that, Aaron’s annoyance returned.
“Seriously?” he complained. “I’m right here.”
Aiden smirked. “I’m good with whatever for dinner. Just go get something. And take your time.”
Charlie squealed as he grabbed her and hauled her over his shoulder, smacking her ass.
“You guys are the worst,” Aaron yelled after them as Aiden carried her to the bathroom. Knowing what he had to do, he added, “I’m going to Lars’s house. Go out and get your own food.”
Just before the door shut, Aiden said in a tone Aaron never wanted to hear again, “I’ve got plenty to eat right here.”
Charlie giggled as they closed themselves inside.
Aaron rolled his eyes, hating them both just a little bit, even though he loved them.
He grabbed his phone and keys but paused.
Quickly, he rushed back to his room to grab his laptop, iPad, and some clothes to stay at his friend’s house—if Lars would even let him in.
The moaning started before he could fully pack though.
“Screw it,” he muttered to himself as he all but ran out with just his laptop bag. He needed it for work, but he could borrow clothes from Lars.
He jumped in his car and took off, thinking about his conversation with Charlie the whole twenty-minute drive over.
By the time he pulled up to the house and parked behind the familiar Carnival, he was spiraling again.
Burying his face in his hands, he wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now. He didn’t want to be this person.
He needed to do better. Be better.
And to do so, he would start by apologizing to his best friend.