Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
LARS
Hearing how scared Aaron was to lose Lars and the girls made Lars’s chest ache. When he’d come up here to see if things were okay and overheard them talking about what happened, at first, he’d been pissed. It had surprised him that Aaron would just share their secrets like that.
But then, he’d heard the fear.
The second Aaron had mentioned not wanting to lose the girls, Lars couldn’t take it anymore. He’d pushed through the partially open door to assure his friend that wouldn’t happen.
Aaron stared at him in surprise.
Lars moved closer, shaking his head. “You will never lose them. I promise.” Glancing at Vi, he wondered if he should ask her to leave.
If she already knew everything, it didn’t really matter, he supposed.
Besides, she was his friend too. He stopped in front of Aaron.
“The other night doesn’t have to mean anything.
I know you were just… feeling bad for me. ”
“That’s—”
Cutting him off, Lars said, “It’s fine. Really.
And I appreciate it.” He let out a soft chuckle.
“Believe me, I needed it. We’re good on my end though.
Nothing has changed, but I want to make something clear.
” He put a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “Even if things are awkward, even if this situation with Mel goes horribly, you’ll always be a very important part of my girls’ life. Okay?”
When Aaron nodded, Lars pulled him into a hug.
“We’re okay,” he whispered. “It was fun, but that’s it.”
“Thank you.”
Lars pulled back with another thought, one he’d been wanting to talk to Aaron and Vi about. He’d been trying to get himself to do so all night. Turning, he looked from one to the other. “Actually, I lied about one thing. Something has changed.” To Aaron, he quickly added, “But not between us.”
“What?” Vi asked, clearly invested in the drama of it all.
He inhaled slowly before telling them, “It… it made me realize that I’m ready to… date. I don’t exactly have a lot of extra time, but—”
“Yes!” Vi jumped up with a grin. “Oh, this is going to be so fun. Both of you getting back out there is great.”
“We really should’ve had this conversation in private,” Aaron muttered.
Lars laughed and elbowed him in the side as Vi glared at him. “No, this is good. I want her help. I haven’t dated since high school; I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Just like you,” Vi said, pointing at Aaron. “I helped you too, and look what happened.”
“Charlie helped me after you stormed out of the room.”
“But I taught her everything.” She waved a hand in front of her. “Doesn’t matter. The point is, you hooked up with a random girl, some hot dude in a public bathroom, and then you sucked your best friend’s—”
“Oh my God, Vi,” Aaron hissed, going to shut the door. “Keep it down. Not only are there children here, but I’m not exactly ready to come out to our families.”
She winced. “Sorry. Shit, seriously, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Pausing, she grew serious. “You know everyone will be supportive, right? Your mom, your brother, they’ll be happy for you.”
He nodded and sighed. “I know. I’m just… not ready. I mean, I don’t even know what label to use yet. I feel like I should figure that out first.”
“You don’t have to pick one single label and keep it forever.” She reached for Aaron’s hand. “But I get it. Wait until you’re ready.” She looked at Lars. “Both of you.”
Lars smiled, grateful for both of them. “I appreciate that, but I’ve known I was pan since middle school. It’s just not something I advertise because, well, it didn’t seem to matter once I started going out with Mel. But she knows.”
His parents didn’t though. And while he was almost certain his mom wouldn’t care, he wasn’t sure about his dad.
Honestly, it could go either way. His dad had always been strict, tough, and finding out his only son liked men might not go over very smoothly.
But he was also supportive, and he’d grown softer since the girls were born.
“I was thinking about downloading Love Hunters,” he said. “But I’d rather meet someone in person. Or at least try.”
Vi nodded, as if she understood completely. Which was surprising since she was always convincing people to try that damn app. “We should all go out soon. Like tomorrow.”
“Um… Did you miss the part where I have three daughters who are six and younger? And the fact that their mother isn’t even in the country right now?” He laughed again, crossing his arms over his chest.
She shrugged. “We’ll find a babysitter. I bet Charlie’s parents would watch them.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Or maybe Harper can keep them, and they could have a sleepover with Elliot.”
“Do we hate Harper now?” he asked.
Aaron let out a soft chuckle, but Vi looked confused. She shook her head. “No… We love her.”
“Then, why would you put her through that chaos? A six year old, a five year old, a hyperactive three year old, and an eighteen month old. Presumably on her own.” Their friend and her son currently lived with her brother, who worked at The Tavern most Saturday nights.
“Besides, Maddie has never slept over anywhere except…”
Vi’s eyebrows lifted when he trailed off. “Except?”
Lars pulled out his phone, already typing out a text when Aaron answered for him, “At their grandparents’.”
Not a minute later, his phone buzzed with a response. Grinning, he told Vi and Aaron, “My mom said she’d love to have them spend the night tomorrow.”
And just like that, he was making plans to go out into the dating world.
Lars paced across his bedroom and back for probably the fiftieth time.
He’d been doing so for the last twenty minutes, trying to get himself to make this call.
When they got home last night, he’d wanted to do it then, but he’d remembered the time difference and decided to wait until the morning. Which led to barely sleeping.
His anxiety was through the roof.
In the distance, he could hear Aaron making lunch with the girls downstairs. He needed to get this over with so he could join them.
A text came through, and he paused.
Mel
I thought you were going to call me?
With a groan, he tapped on her name and started calling.
“Hey,” she said with a laugh.
“Hey. How’d the interview go?” He sat on the edge of the bed.
“It went really well. They want to meet again on Monday… I think I’ll get it,” she added quietly. “How are the girls?”
He swallowed. “They’re good. Better than the other night. Thanks for FaceTiming; it really helped.”
“Of course. You should’ve just asked, Lars.”
He nodded before realizing she couldn’t see him. “I know. I was just overwhelmed, and I didn’t want to bother you that late—”
“It’s not a bother.” She interrupted him. “They’re my babies. I miss them so much it hurts. I literally cried myself to sleep that night.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, unsure what else to say.
“It’ll be okay.”
He had a feeling she was talking about more than just her missing them. Wanting to believe her, he agreed. “I know. We’ll figure it out.”
A quiet moment passed, then she asked, “What did you need to talk about?”
Right. The whole reason he’d called. But how did he start this conversation? They’d had similar ones in the past, but nothing concrete had been planned or promised. And despite everything, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.
“My mom’s keeping the girls tonight so I can go out with Aaron, Vi, and the rest of the gang.”
“Okay…” She drew the word out, making it sound more like a question than anything.
Internally groaning, he got back up and began pacing again, taking a page out of Aaron’s book to move around and expel some of the nervous energy coursing through him. “Well, I, um…” He cleared his throat. “I was thinking…”
“Lawrence Daniel Spencer,” she said in a serious-but-amused tone. He could practically hear her eyes rolling. “Just spit it out.”
Another beat passed, then he said, “I was thinking about trying to… date.”
For a long time, she didn’t respond. He swept his free hand through his hair as he continued walking from one side of the room to the other. It wasn’t a particularly big room though; there wasn’t much space. Maybe he should’ve done this outside.
“Lars, we… we’ve been separated for over a year,” she said in a gentle tone he hadn’t been expecting.
He stilled. “I know, but we live together.”
“I…” She sighed on the other end. “Were you hoping we’d—”
“No,” he said, understanding where she thought he was going with this. “No, it wasn’t that. But I mean, it’s kind of a weird situation, right? Going out on a date while my wife is at home with the kids—that sounds horrible.”
Mel let out a breathy laugh, one he’d loved for so long. “Well, yeah, if you say it like that. But we’re not together. No one needs to know we’re still technically married. Not unless you’re planning to like, elope with a stranger in Vegas or something.”
Lars smiled, feeling so much relief. He could finally breathe properly. “Fine, but I wouldn’t be able to bring someone back here.”
“Is this hypothetical date homeless? Go to their place.” More amusement filled her voice. “Or do it in your car. You’re quite skilled at that, if you recall.”
A bark of laughter escaped him. “That is how we got Allie…”
“And Maddie,” she added.
He smiled to himself, remembering how they’d snuck down to her car one night after the other two had fallen asleep in their bed.
It had started with them going outside to see the Northern Lights.
They’d brought the baby monitor and sat in the driveway, but it had been freezing. So, they’d warmed up in the car.
Her words finally registered. “Wait, have you been dating?”
“I’ve gone out with a couple guys,” she admitted slowly, almost like she was worried about telling him.
But the truth was, it made him happy to hear that.
She must have mistook his silence for something else though because she started explaining.
“Nothing serious, and I didn’t bring them back to the house.
It was after we agreed we were really done and—”
“Mel, breathe,” he said, cutting her off. “It’s okay. I’m happy for you. Just shocked it took me so much longer to even want to try honestly.”
“Yeah… I definitely thought you were hooking up with someone, especially with how much time you spend in Perrington.” She giggled. “Wait, so you really were just hanging out with Aaron all the time? I thought that was a cover to try to make me feel better.”
Shaking his head, he opened his bedroom door and started toward the stairs. “I’m glad I amuse you. So, you’re really fine with this?”
“Of course,” she said. “But I think if either of us get serious about someone, we need to talk to each other before introducing them to the girls.”
“Agreed.” He walked to the kitchen, where Allie and Chloe stood in their little aprons with Aaron, all three covered in pancake batter.
Maddie sat in her high chair a few feet away, playing with her toy piano.
It was pure madness in here. But in a good way.
One that made him smile. “Speaking of, do you want to talk to them?”
“Absolutely.”
“Girls, your mom wants to talk to you,” he said, putting her on speaker.
He set the phone on the counter just as they both screamed, “Hi, Mommy!”
Turning, he lifted Maddie out of her chair—mostly to get her to stop playing with the noisiest toy she owned. He carried her closer so she could say hi too. Meeting Aaron’s gaze, he dipped his head with a smile, silently telling him everything was okay.
Tonight, they were going out to find someone for him to flirt with, which was only mildly terrifying. He was about ninety-seven percent sure he was going to make a fool of himself. But even if it didn’t result in anything, at least he was attempting to move forward. Progress was still progress.