Chapter Twenty-Three
My head pounds relentlessly, and every movement sends sharp waves of pain through my entire body, making me feel utterly helpless and exposed.
The nausea churns, and I feel like I'm spinning out of control, each breath a struggle as my body screams for relief.
I'm overwhelmed by fear and despair, feeling trapped in my own body, which intensifies my vulnerability.
I don’t know what day or time it is. After a while of trying to move, I gave up. I’m not doing myself any favors. I start to drift in and out again, until my subconscious takes me under again.
I don't know how much time has gone by, but I’ve been woken by a sound that takes me a while to figure out: someone is pounding on the front door of the trailer. I try to use my voice, but my throat feels like I’ve swallowed glass.
Whoever is on the other side of the door decides to take matters into their own hands.
They start slamming their body into the door frame; the door is so flimsy that they break through on the last hit.
Peyton rushes through the broken door, her face tense with shock and worry as she sees me in a pool of blood, her urgency and genuine concern making her seem caring and desperate to help.
“Juni.. what the fuck? How long have you been lying here like this?”
I don't have the energy or capability at this point to answer… “Peyton… Help… me…” I softly whisper.
As I start to feel like I’m going to pass out again, I faintly hear Peyton on the phone with 911.
After she gives the dispatcher a quick assessment, she follows up with my address.
Shame fills me. I haven’t been able to work since breaking my wrist the first time.
Most of my coworkers know my address, and I’m pretty sure they'll put two and two together.
“Juni..Hun.. I just called 911. Help is on the way, okay? Can you keep an eye open for me, please? You can’t pass out on me again, okay?”
The sirens wail in the background as they get closer to our direction.
Fast footsteps and muffled voices fill the silence that once occupied the trailer.
A woman with a soft voice crouches beside me, her face tense with worry as she assesses my condition.
I notice her eyes widen when she finds the heavy bleeding between my legs, making the urgency of the situation painfully clear.
Quickly, I’m loaded onto the stretcher. Securing me with the safety restraints, they try to help me get as comfortable as possible. A rough, scratchy white blanket is draped across my lap, its coarse texture contrasting sharply with my skin, offering a small, fragile comfort amid the chaos.
Hooking the stretcher into the ambulance’s lift mechanism, the feet retract, and they lift me into the ambulance and lock it in place.
I hear them asking Peyton whether she will ride with me or drive separately; I hope she rides with me. I listen as she tells them she is riding along with us. I’m trying so hard to stay awake. I continue to fight the darkness, once again clouding my vision, until it takes me under again.
Slowly, I come to consciousness; there are a few machines to my left, each making its own beeping sound.
My body feels like lead. Everything hurts.
My eyes start to flutter and crack open, sticky from the sleepies that have appeared there.
My vision takes way too long to come into focus.
As the foggy haze evaporates, my eyes settle on short curly brown hair and way too many tattoos to count.
He’s leaned back in the chair, elbow cocked so his tattooed hand has support for his head as he sleeps.
Confusion consumes me… Where is Peyton? Didn’t she come into the hospital with me?
How did Gavin find out I’m here? I start looking around the room for Peyton but come up empty.
By the time my eyes make their way back to the chair where Gavin has been sitting, I’m met with dark brown pools of worry.
My throat is so dry it’s hard to speak, “Gavin… How did you know I was here?”
His voice rough with sleep, he says, “I returned your call from yesterday… Peyton answered the phone and explained you were here and in terrible shape, so I came to check on you.”
“Speaking of Peyton… where is she? I remember her with me in the ambulance, but this is the first time I’m fully conscious.”
“She's been here with you since this morning and had to leave not long after I got here… I told her I wouldn’t be leaving until you at least woke up.” I hate the knowing look in his eyes.
He knows how I ended up here and who put me in this situation.
Shame floods me, and I look away. “Are we going to talk about this Любовь….” ‘Love…’ “ If you're going to try and cover this up, then please don’t talk, okay… I’m struggling just sitting here…
You do understand this isn’t going to stop…
You do truly understand that, don’t you? ” he says as emotion clogs his voice.
“He’s been on edge for the last week… keeps saying someone on a motorcycle is stalking him. He thinks it's a collector. I guess he owes someone money… and, with my injuries, he's now behind on work. He’s overwhelmed. He had a moment of weakness and snapped.”
Gavin flinches, anger clogging his voice. “Jesus fucking Christ, Juni. Are you listening to what you're saying? How are you so easily defending him? He put you in the hospital… he… he… Made you lose your baby Любовь… “ ‘love…’ “You were about a month along according to the doctor…”
“I knew about the baby, Gavin.” A small laugh escapes my lips.
“I was feeling sick and took a test. I was freaking out all day, and he came home angry, and I didn’t get to tell him…
I tried to tell him, but he didn’t want to listen to me…
he left right after, I haven't seen him since.” I took a breath as deeply as I could with the pain in my ribs.
“I had so many mixed feelings about the baby to begin with, that first night he beat me? He also raped me… and the baby was the result. I don’t know if it's my trauma response or anxiety downplaying it…
because I am sad. This isn't the first time I have been through this, you already know that, Gavin,” I say, giving him sad knowing eyes.
“Juni...look at me. Really look at me for a second. I don’t know how much longer I can sit here and watch him hurting what was supposed to be mine…”
“Supposed to be yours? Gavin… You walked away from me, pushed me away. I was so stupidly in love with you… And you left me.”
“I’ve regretted that ever since; we both know if Isaiah was still here… we would have probably been married by now and had a family.”
“Stop using Isaiah as an excuse! You know damn well I would have been by your side through it all, we would have gotten through it together!”
Gavin gets up out of his chair and sits down on the hospital bed next to me.
Sighing, he turns to me, “I was too broken to see that then, Juni. I was living with so much guilt… he asked me to pick him up that day… but we had plans to go hiking… I told him just to ride home that day. I had to not only take care of myself but also my mom.”
“I could have helped you through it, Gavin. Stop using him as an excuse. You were young and scared, and you pushed me away… it took me six years to move on from you, six fucking years, Gavin. And now I’m married. Unlike you.. I don’t run away when it gets tough.”
Gavin scoffs, “No, instead of leaving, you became your husband’s own personal punching bag. Leaving wouldn’t be running when things get tough!” He lets out a breath, running his hand over his face. “Fuck, Любовь…” I didn’t mean that, Juni… I said that without thinking.”
“Seriously, Gavin? Fuck you for saying that. Leaving is so hard to do regularly. He will kill me if he catches me trying to leave.”
“I’m going to solve that problem for you, but I need to go to the next town over. I won’t be back again until tomorrow… You should be home by then. Text me an update tomorrow, okay?”
“What are you talking about, Gavin? What problem-solving are you going to do that doesn't involve me getting killed?”
“Can you stop saying he’s going to kill you? That mother fucker will be hand-fed to pigs by me personally before he’d even get the chance to harm you further than he already has, do you understand me, Juni?”
“You can say this all you want, Gavin, but if something were actually to happen again, how do you plan on saving the day?”
“Just leave it to me to handle, okay? Now I need to go… I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Keep me updated when you get discharged.” Leaning over, his lips gently brush against my temple. He stands up, looks at me over his shoulder one more time, and walks out the door.
A sharp knock sounds at the door, followed by my Doctor peeking in.
“Mrs. Monroe, we just need to go over a few things before we let you go home,” The doctor says, not even looking up from his clipboard as he sits down on the little backless wheeled chair.
I’m half listening to what he is saying…
The weight of the last twenty-four hours is consuming me.
“Unfortunately, Mrs.Monroe, with the abdominal trauma, along with the amount of blood loss, the pregnancy is no longer viable. You have two choices: we can schedule a DNC, or we can prescribe medication that will speed up the process at home.”
“I’ll do the pil….” We both turn our heads in the direction of the door as it slowly opens.
In the doorway stands my husband. Reece has panic in his eyes, his hands shaking ever so slightly with… fear?
“Did... did he just say pregnancy? Pretty girl…were we pregnant?”
Reece stumbles back against the now closed hospital door.
If you just glanced at him, you would have missed the fury that flared across his face, gone again in an instant.
He walks over to my hospital bed and sits at my feet.
Looking at the doctor, Reece clears his voice, “Thank you, sir, for taking care of my beautiful wife. I was out of town and rushed here as fast as I could.”
The doctor watches him for a moment before nodding with acceptance. “No problem, Mr. Monroe… we have a few things we are waiting on until she can be released.”
“We have had our ups and downs like every young, typical married couple, but I love my wife, and I will take good care of her.”
“A nurse will be by again with the rest of your discharge paperwork, if you could excuse me. Have a good night,” As the door softly closes with a click, I can feel his facade crack as soon as we are alone.
“Who was that in here before me, Juniper? How the fuck did he find you?”
Confused, I look at him. “What are you talking about, Baby?”
Reece’s resolve shatters. “Don’t play fucking stupid with me, Juniper. Who. The. Fuck. Was. That.”
I start to answer him truthfully, I don’t have anything to hide, so why would I lie…
“Don’t believe a fucking word he told you, he’s lying,” Reece spits. I start to stutter, but he cuts me off. “So when were you going to fucking tell me you were pregnant? Why didn’t you stop me?”
“Reece, I tried to tell you! But you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“Oh, okay, so you're going to try and place the blame on me? Juniper, you’re just pathetic and weak, really.”
I have no words, I can’t speak. So I just stare at him. Tears falling silently.
“You're a shitty lay anyway. I’m going to leave. I have some pent-up frustrations you can’t help me with, so I need to find someone who can. Find your own way home.” Before I can even form words, he is out the door and already walking down the hallway.
What the fuck has my life become?