Chapter 6 #2
“I still wonder what would have happened if I’d said yes when Frederica suggested she and the kids start coming to away games with me,” he continues.
“She was tired of being stuck at home alone with toddlers. She wanted them to see more of me, for us to do the travel games as a family, but I brushed her off. I thought the trips were too chaotic for a three and four-year-old to manage.”
“They are chaotic,” I say, hoping it gives him some comfort.
“She felt neglected, though. Isolated.” His lips twist. “Enter Luke, with his shoulder to cry on, and…the rest is history.”
My forehead wrinkles. “I’ve heard rumors.”
“That she cheated on me?” He nods, but he doesn’t seem angry.
At least not any angrier than he was before.
“Yeah. With our real estate agent. Ironically, we were looking for a bigger house with room for a third kid … Now, she lives in our old place with Luke, and they’re building that addition she always wanted, instead. ”
The weight of his regret fills the room, pressing against the walls.
“We should get a beer after practice or something,” I say. “Nix doesn’t have as much free time as he used to, and I don’t get out much since my other friend left town. It would be nice to have a friend to talk to.”
Dean looks up, his expression brightening. “Yeah. I’d like that. Friends are good. So is beer.”
“Beer is good, but no beer for you for a while, Mr. Blue.” Dr. Lyle breezes back through the door, waving a slip of paper in one hand as she arches a judgmental brow my way. “Sitting up, I see.”
I shoot her a sheepish smile. “I felt better. Still do.”
She grunts and extends the piece of paper.
“CT scan ordered, just give them this at the hospital. They’re going to fit you in at four p.m., right before the shift change.
I’ve already arranged a driver to take you there, then home after, and Coach Merwood will be calling to check in on you later.
” She motions over her shoulder. “He wanted to come back now, but press duty called.” She beams a smile between us.
“You won, by the way. Four to two. And that Dallas fucker looked really sad about it on the Jumbotron.”
“Thanks, doc,” I say, smiling.
She props her hands on her hips. “Don’t thank me yet.
You’re out for the Ontario trip this weekend.
Management asked, and I made the judgment call.
Pending the CT results and a follow-up exam on Monday, we’ll reassess for the Thursday home game.
But you’re on your couch for now. Or in your bed.
I want you to rest, hydrate, and then rest some more.
Got it? Keep screen time to a minimum, no bright lights, no physical exertion.
And—” She gives me a pointed look “—no alcohol in the near future.”
Dean clears his throat and salutes her again. “Yes, ma’am. We’ll stick to coffee.”
“Smart plan.” Dr. Lyle lifts a hand. “Wayne will be down to get you in a few, Archer. If I don’t see you before you leave, hang in there, and call me if there’s any change in how you’re feeling tonight, okay? I’ll be on call.”
“Will do, thanks, doc,” I say as she slips into the hall.
Dean rises. “I should hit it, too. Frederica said I could FaceTime with the girls before bed tonight. Want to make sure I’m home in plenty of time.”
I clasp the hand he offers, giving it a firm squeeze. “Sounds good. Hang in there, and I’ll be looking forward to that coffee.”
“Me, too,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder before heading for the door.
He leaves, and silence falls. The stadium noise still rumbles in the background, but in here, you could hear a pin drop.
Hear a heart break…
I feel for Dean, I really do, but mistakes are part of being human. Everyone fucks up. Everyone has regrets. But like every difficult thing, mistakes offer an invitation to grow. To become kinder, more compassionate. To have mercy on yourself and others because…
Well, because we aren’t perfect. We’re just people, every one of us flawed in our own way. I understand that now, even more than I did before Beatrice showed me how much even a relatively “enlightened” person still has to learn.
I understand many things, but understanding doesn’t make dealing with loss any easier. I know the pain will pass when it’s done with me, but until then…
Until then, I have a CT scan appointment and close to a week off.
Most people would be thrilled, but I love my job, and this team is the closest thing I have to family, a fact they prove by swarming into medical as Wayne is wheeling me out to the car.
Parker and Nix come with me to the hospital, giving me a play-by-play of everything I missed, and Charlotte is waiting with pints of ice cream when the driver drops us off at my place. Makena swings into the driveway minutes later, with a giant bag full of homemade food.
We eat crammed around my tiny table in the kitchen, Makena giving me shit about my poorly outfitted cooking situation, and Nix joking that it doesn’t matter when all a man eats is steamed vegetables and rice. I insist that I eat other things, too, like grilled chicken and tofu, and they laugh.
It still hurts a little to laugh, so I just smile, and it’s good.
I’m a lucky man, but I can’t help wishing one more person was here…
Though if Beatrice were at the table, we’d have a lot of explaining to do. Nix obviously still has no idea that his sister is pregnant. I don’t know how long Beatrice intends to keep that under wraps, but until she’s ready to spill the beans, I have to keep my mouth shut.
That isn’t my news to share.
But the secret is starting to feel like a lie, a gremlin squatting in the middle of my life, waiting for the worst possible moment to pounce.