Chapter 14 #2
“I’m sure she needs more than that. What can we do to pitch in?” Wes asks, sounding calmer, but not any quieter. “We’re on the next flight home, obviously, but if you—”
“Dad, no,” Bea cuts in. “Stop. You’re not cutting your trip short on my account. Patagonia has been on your bucket list for years, and you just got there. I bet you haven’t even gone hiking yet, have you?”
Kate perks up a bit. “No, not yet. But we did a short walk yesterday, and the wildflowers in the foothills are incredible, Bea. Truly, one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.
Took my breath away. You have to put Argentina on your bucket list. Daddy wasn’t a big fan of Buenos Aires, but I loved it, and Mendoza was fantastic.
Like Northern California wine country without the crowds. ”
“Kate, please,” Wes says, his forehead furrowing. “Can we stay focused?”
“I am focused,” Kate says, a hint of irritation flickering in her expression.
“I just don’t see how grilling our daughter is going to help her feel safer sharing things with us, Wesley.
I just want Bea to know she’s so loved, and that’s why we were upset.
Because we want to be there for her, not because we’re angry with her. ”
“Oh, Mom, I know that. I do, I promise,” Beatrice says, guilt creeping into voice.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy sooner.
At first, it was just such a shock, I didn’t know how to tell anyone.
Then, once I decided to keep the baby, I wanted to be sure I made it through the first trimester before I got everyone all excited.
Then, by the time the second trimester rolled around, I was so busy working on the album that I kind of lost track of time.
” Her shoulders inch closer to her ears.
“I don’t know. I guess I got so used to keeping it a secret, I wasn’t sure how to stop.
But none of this was about not trusting you.
It was more about learning to trust myself, if that makes sense.
To trust that I was ready to carry all of this alone and be the kind of parent my little girl deserves. ”
“Oh, a little girl.” Her mom sucks in a breath, her eyes shining as she adds in a whisper, “A granddaughter. Wes, we’re having a granddaughter.”
Wes swipes at his eyes, confirming my suspicion that he’s a softie under the bluster.
“I can’t believe it. I wasn’t… I wasn’t sure grandchildren were in the cards for us.
Which is fine, but I…” His lips wobble into a smile.
“But I’m happy for you, honey. I know you’re going to be a wonderful mother.
You can trust in that. No doubt in my mind.
You have the biggest heart. You always have, ever since you were a little girl. ”
“Thanks, Daddy,” Beatrice says, smiling as she dabs at the corners of her eyes, too. “That means so much to me. Truly.”
“Your baby couldn’t ask for more,” her mother adds. “But I hope it’s okay if we plan on being in New Orleans for the delivery? I would love to come help you as much or as little as you need. A newborn is a blessing, but also a lot of work for one person.”
“We want to be there for her, too,” I pipe up, unable to help myself. I may not be able to tell them that I’m the father yet, but I want them to know from the beginning that I’m here for Beatrice. “All Bea’s friends want to chip in.”
“And Baylor and Charlotte,” Beatrice adds.
“I won’t be alone. But yes, I’d love for you guys to be here.
I’m due early January. You could come for the holidays and just…
stay until I have a baby, I guess. Charlotte’s already arranged to take off work to help out.
I bet she’d be happy for you to stay with her and Baylor in their guest room. ”
“We don’t want to impose,” Wes says. “We can look for an Airbnb near your place. Would flying back late December work, you think, Kate? That way, we could finish this leg of the trip. I think we’re still far enough out that we can cancel Brazil without a penalty.”
“I think that sounds like the start of a great plan,” Beatrice cuts in with a laugh. “But maybe we can talk this through another time? The volume on my computer is broken. I can’t turn you guys down, and I’m afraid we’re going to wake Clover if we haven’t already.”
Wes blinks in surprise, finally lowering his voice as he says, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. Okay, yes, we’ll talk soon.”
“Send us all the birth details,” Kate adds. “And if Christmas doesn’t work out for everyone, then we’ll arrange to be there a few days before your due date. I carried past mine with the two of you, but you never know. Some first babies come early.”
“I kind of hope Bean comes early. Or on time, at least,” Beatrice says, her hand dropping to her belly. “People are already asking me if I’m having twins. I can’t imagine what I’ll look like in three months.”
“The father must be a large man?” Kate lifts her hands into the air, fingers spread.
“Not that I’m sticking my nose into your private business or pressuring you in any way, honey.
If he’s not in the picture, that’s fine by me.
Just curious. And thinking you might want to get information on his medical history if you haven’t.
That’s something that could be helpful down the line.
Always good to know as much as you can about the DNA on both sides. ”
“You’re right,” Beatrice says carefully. “I’m sure that’s something I can figure out. When the time is right. Love you both so much, and talk soon, okay?”
“Love you too, baby,” Kate says.
“So much,” Wes adds, still being careful to keep his volume down. “Promise you’ll reach out if there’s anything we can do between now and December.”
“Will do, I promise. Bye!” Bea waves, grinning as she closes the laptop, ending the call.
Then, she sags back into her chair with a rush of breath.
“Holy shit. What a wake-up call. They FaceTimed while I was checking email. I shouldn’t have picked up, I guess, but I felt so guilty…
” She presses a hand to her forehead, heaving another sigh.
“And I had no idea they’d seen what they’d seen.
Though I probably should have. Aunt Cindy likes to keep tabs on the family. No matter where we are in the world.”
“Sorry.” I cross to stand beside her at the counter. “I didn’t mean to make it worse. I just heard shouting and—”
“No, don’t apologize,” she says, turning to me with a shake of her head.
“You didn’t make it worse. You were great.
They obviously didn’t suspect a thing. I’m just sorry it’s so…
” She trails off, tension creeping into her voice.
“I’m sorry, it’s complicated. With my parents and my brother and… other stuff.”
“You don’t have to apologize, either,” I say. “And it doesn’t have to be complicated. We can just take things day by day, being good to each other and doing what’s best for the baby. That’s all I care about right now.”
Relief floods her expression as she leans in, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Thank you, Blue. Seriously.” She hugs me tight. “Thank you so much.”
“Of course. I’m just happy to be here,” I say, meaning it. She may not be ready to be more than friends—or friends with benefits—but she’s letting me be part of her life. And our daughter’s life.
That’s a lot to be grateful for.
I wrap my arms around her, throat going tight as she rests her cheek on my chest. The feel of her, soft and relaxed in my arms, with her belly brushing mine, is humbling.
Our daughter is already here with us, but in just a few months, I’ll be able to hold her, care for her, and give Bea a break from carrying it all alone.
I’ll truly be able to share the load, and I’m not about to do anything to get in the way of that.
And in the words of one of my favorite Buddhist teachings, only three things matter at the end of your time on earth—how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to bow out gracefully before I absolutely have to. I intend to fight for this woman with all the tools at my disposal.
Starting with breakfast.
“Hungry?” I ask, smoothing a hand over her hair.
“Maybe a little.” A low rumbling fills the air, making her laugh as she pulls back.
“Okay, yes. I didn’t finish my lasagna last night, and Bean is a beast. We already had half a bagel with cream cheese thirty minutes ago.
That’s why I was up so early checking email. She was demanding first breakfast.”
I smile. “As she should. If she’s ready for second breakfast, I could get takeout from the omelet place. Maybe a Greek omelet or a bean and egg burrito?”
Her eyes widen. “Yes. Bean would love a bean and egg burrito with extra salsa. And I bet Clover would love a bacon and egg sandwich with feta cheese.” She raises her voice as she asks, “Wouldn’t you, Clover?”
“How did you know I was listening?” Clover asks, making Bea and me both grin.
“I have psychic powers,” Bea calls back. “Do you need help to the bathroom, too? My psychic powers are telling me you also probably need to pee.”
“Oh my God, yes, please. I’m about to burst,” Clover says.
“I didn’t want to interrupt, but I’m seriously about to wet the bed.
Can you come, Bea? I only need a little help sliding off the bed into my chair and then a boost from the chair to the toilet.
I’m just not ready to cross the potty bridge with a man. Not even a man who’s like a brother.”
“Yeah, I’ve got you,” Beatrice says.
I slide her crutches over as she eases from her chair. “All right, but I’ll stay here until I know you two have it sorted. Just in case.”
“Okay, thanks,” Clover says, her voice tight.
“Don’t worry, babes, on my way to the rescue,” Bea says, moving swiftly down the hall.
She’s already managing better than yesterday. I’m so glad she’s healing quickly, and glad I get to help make sure she’s one hundred percent by the time the baby’s here.
I head for my room to throw on some clothes before I hit the omelet place.
“Operation Potty was a success,” Beatrice calls a few minutes later as I’m emerging from my room, fully dressed. “The patient would definitely like that breakfast sandwich. And a cappuccino if you can carry it.”
“No problem,” I assure her. “I’ll be right back.”
Downstairs, one of the other doormen I don’t recognize is on duty, but I nod to him anyway. He smiles warmly, seeming to confirm that today is going to be a good day. Outside, the morning is cool, with a hint of autumn in the air. I pull in a deep breath, letting it refresh my humidity-weary lungs.
It’s been a long, hot, confusing summer.
But it seems like things are finally turning around.